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Inability to look you in the eye

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Old 08-14-2011, 01:55 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
Posts: 1
allisonk001 HB User
Unhappy Inability to look you in the eye

My 14-year old daughter was diagnosed dyslexic three years ago. She is such a happy kid (we want to keep it that way) and we do anything we can to help her. She has specialized tutoring, speech therapy, and continues to see a psychiatrist to help her get through tough times. For years, we've been talking (more like lecturing) her to look at the camera when we take pictures, to make eye contact when she speaks to people, etc., but she constantly fights us on it stating that she "cannot." She has begun a new high school and we had thought air riflery would be a "sport" that she could succeed in (no real physical strain, etc.) The coach informed me (in not so many words) that he doesn't want her on his team stating that he "has never seen this before" in that she will take aim and then look away thereby missing the target. I really want her to succeed in this - it is a brand-new program at her school, all the kids are inexperienced, and she is really enjoying being a part of a start-up team. The coach didn't even want to order her equipment, which I thought was completely uncalled for. This is supposed to be a school that works with it's struggling kids, that allows "anyone" to be on a team sport, blah blah blah. But I now feel that this new coach clearly only wants the "perfect" team. I don't understand what's going on with her. The targets she first brought home showed she was hitting the targets fairly well, especially as she had never shot a gun before. Is this a normal symptom of dyslexia? Does anyone else have that problem? She has seen an eye doctor since she was seven and I don't believe it's something physical. In addition, she is always able to look at the camera when it's professional shots (school pictures, family portraits, etc.) I'm at a loss - she really wants to do this and I really want her to find something she has a passion for. Am I putting so much stress/pressure on her? Is there something psychological about it? Any comments would be appreciated!!!!

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Old 09-07-2012, 02:46 AM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3
gllaura HB User
Re: Inability to look you in the eye

Well lets start by saying this isn't dyslexia, dyslexia in essence is issues with short term memory which have knock on effects with things writing, non-written math, languages etc.

instead this is more likely to be a lack of confidence likely to have been brought on by a combination of your over pressuring her to find something do excel in, and the many people you have her seeing for the dyslexia (dyslexia is not necessarily a bad thing, on average dyslexic people will score above average in IQ tests, and are incredibly creative)

as for the shooting, thats a bit trickier, but i think it could be a result of your over encouraging her to take up this new sport, and her not wanting to let you down.

instead try allowing her to find things for herself, that way you'll know she'll have a real interest in it, then this subject should be encouraged, she's only 14 these thing come with time. but having said that you can make it easier by simply showing her whats out there. Like i said earlier dyslexic people as a whole are very creative. This is something to think about. for example, does she like music, or art?

basically, continue to encourage her to do things but not so much that she feels forced into doing them. It might also be worth reading a book like 'the gift of Dysexia', this could help you to see the positives of it and help to build your daughters confidence.

hope this helps

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