Anyone a compulsive overeater??

KatJ

Hey. I am no longer a compulsive overeater only...but rather bulimic too. I use to be very overweight though, and felt comforted by food. It is so hard living a life where food controls your every thought, feelings, and so on. I have suffered from compulsive overeating, anorexia, and now bulimia...and the common theme with all three is that food is the center of your life. It really isn't about eating or not eating though...it is something deeper then that. Anyways... I just wanted to let you know that we are there for you, and understand!

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Katie

Charlyssa

Hi Katj -

Your words are so kind. Thank you. When you go thru this, you feel as if you're the only one in the world who is, and that no one else could possibly even begin to understand. Yes, food is the center of my life...I have no more eaten breakfast, and I'm wondering what I should have for lunch...and then after lunch....then dinner. I eat too much, and everything I shouldn't. It's positively insane. I didn't use to be like this, and I don't know how or why it started...except that I have lived with soooo much stress for so long - a move to a state where we know no one, physical problems that continue to worsen, then 2 years ago, my husband's cancer diagnosis. I believe I turned to food the way some might turn to drink or drugs...it's the only thing I can come up with! I had hoped therapy might help, but after 3 months, I'm no better. I have thought about Overeaters Anonymous, but I'm terrified to do this, as I have social anxiety, too. I'm on antidepressants & antianxiety meds, but they're not helping, either. I am a mess, and I feel hopeless, and a failure. Sorry. I'm whining. Anyway, thank you so much for responding and for your kind words!!
My best.

Char

needmylifeback

I just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. I am suffering from depression, social anxiety disorder and have tried and tried to lose weight. I can't seem to do it no matter how hard I try. It is an awful feeling. I don't know what to say to help you because I don't know how to help myself, but I did want you to know that I am just like you and you are not alone. Many hugs sent your way.

Charlyssa

Hi -

Thank you so much for responding. I will probably fail....again....but I started a diet this past Monday. I NEED to lose weight so bad, but it is so hard to be around a thin husband, cook for him, and watch him eat whatever he wants...and still stay thin. I have a metabolism as slow as a turtle, ruined because of yo-yo dieting all my life. I have depression and anxiety, too, so for me, food had been my stress-tamer, escape, whatever. I take meds for these things, and I think I'm actually starting to feel a bit better. One is Pamelor, and it's helping to suppress my appetite a bit. I thought I would share that with you and anyone else who is interested. Thank you so much again, with hugs right back atcha!!


Char

brokendown3

Hello. I completely understand what you are dealing with and it's very difficult. It's like this horrible cycle that feels like it has been controling your life for the longest time. I overeat to the point where I feel sick to my stomach and I do this because I have anxiety. When I feel anxious food is my escape, it doesn't help in the long run but for that moment that I am eating I get to escape from what is causing the anxiety. Let me know how your dieting is going and if you need a buddy to overcome this and lose the weight let me know! Good luck!

Charlyssa

Hi!

It is so wonderfully comforting to hear that people can relate and ofet go thru the same thing and feel the same way. I am the same! For the moment it is so comforting and calming...but then do you get "the guilts" and get angry, too, as I do?? It's just awful and it seems so pointless and stupid, but yet, it's a bad habit that is so hard to break. And I fell off the wagon, again....and now guests are coming in to town Tues., & here I go again. So, WED. I'm going to try this again!! If you want to mark that day on your calendar, that's when I'm going to try this again!! And thank you - I need all the help and motivation I can get!! Take care.

Char

Quencher

Lately, I've developed the habit of BINGE eating. My goodness, it is SO awful. And yes, my life revolves around food, as well. I can't stop thinking about food. And once I start eating, I've just gotta eat more and more and more. I can't just have ONE.. I must have the WHOLE entire package! It's driving me INSANE. And I'm gaining SO much weight!!!

Over the summer, I lost 10 pounds. I was happier than I've been for the LONGEST of time. I had a job over the summer, as well, and I worked with an incredible group of people who supported me through EVERYTHING. They all loved me and gave me encouraging praises and whatnot. I was the center of attention for the WHOLE summer. Believe me, I DO NOT want to brag-- that is the last thing I want to do-- but I was SO happy during the summer. Then, the store closed down... the store's been opened since like FOREVER... and they choose to close down the store when I'm an employee there??? Anyway, now I'm unemployed and I dont plan on getting another job 'cause there's too much crap to do at school.

Then, she started... ha. ha. ha. I hate school. When school started, I started getting all stressed out and then eventually gaining BACK all the pounds I lost during the summer. And for the past three weeks, I've been trying to limit my diet, but it just keeps getting WORSE and WORSE. And now I'm just bingeing.. and I HATE IT. I don't wanna throw up 'cause I don't wanna become bulimic or anything.. but ARGHHH. Now, I've gained SO much weight that I dont even feel like dieting anymore. I've just completely lost hope. And when I look at myself in the mirror... Im just UTTERLY DISGUSTED. ARGHH. I'm SO unhappy with my weight right now that it's not even funny. I dont know what to do about it. I look horrible.. and my face-- it looks like a balloon!!! A super-fat-overblown-BALLOON! ARGHHHHH. Hellllllppp!!!!!

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Charlyssa

Hi Janice

Welcome aboard to our own little overeaters anonymous...do you suppose that that's how that "club" started? People like us who struggle with the food demon in us and wish we knew how to stop it. I wish I knew. I don't have the answers any more than any one else here, unfortunately...but I hope we all can take some sort of comfort in knowing we are not alone. I don't think you bragged, and even if you did, it's OK, because losing even one pound means you had to struggle to do it, and you are to be commended for that effort. I have gained and lost and gained and lost most of my life, and have ruined my metabolism in the process. To lose now means...and I'm dead serious...going approximately a MONTH before the first pound comes off. My body hangs on to every pound for dear life - it would almost be funny if it weren't so sad. I said I was going to start my diet today, and I didn't. Another failure to add to the list. So, I hear you, I sympathize with you, and even if all we do on this board is vent our frustrations, maybe among us, some day we can all find a way to lose the weight. Post again. I care.

Char

Quencher

Hi. Thanks for the fast response. It is very much appreciated--really!

Anyways, I'm sorta like you, I guess... I tell myself everyday, "ok, TODAY'S gonna be the day I start losing weight! Yessire!" And then three hours later, I'm either stuffing myself or am thinking about food. Ugh. It's so frustrating. And yes, it would be funny if it weren't so sad, LOL.

I used to be very skinny...that was back in elementary school. Then, when I got to middle school, I guess I just turned to food for anything and everything. I had no companions for two years, and I guess two years was enough to entirely turn my life upsidedown. I have no idea why, though. And now I'm in HS, and it has only gotten worse. And no one's supportive of me whatsoever. No one knows I'm trying to lose weight... yet no one is helping either. Just today, my dad said I was fat and that I had a huge a$$. Um okay...??? That's helps, you jerk!! -sigh- I'm so depressed.

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Charlyssa

Awww, sweetie, I'm soooo sorry. Well, I'm here...and I'm going to take you under my (fat) wing, cause I'm old enough to be your mother. No one, especially a parent, should say such hurtful things. Sometimes parents don't understand the damage they do when they say things like that. If anything, I would almost imagine it might make you feel a bit antagonistic, like, I'm going to go to the freezer right now for a massive bowl of ice cream - I'll show you "fat"!!!!!!! I can only say to try to do your best to not care what ANYONE says - you know what you need and want to do. Just like me, I know, too, but I also know how VERY difficult it is. I can also imagine it must be waaaaay tougher for you, because you have peer pressure - classmates who may tease and make cruel remarks, etc. Just remember - you CAN do this, and don't let anyone ruin your motivation. You are a good, wonderful and worthy person, and don't you forget that, ya hear??? I'm here anytime you need to vent. I will always listen.

Hugs!!
Char

Quencher

Charlyssa:

Wow, you are by far the kindest person I've ever met. Your words are too kind. Wow. I've never known anyone to be so supportive. Your wonderful words have touched me greatly. Thank you SO much for that! You see, I usually don't talk to other people about this so openly. But now I'm glad I did.

I wouldn't say I've become antagonistic or anything-- just utterly bummed out. There are times, too frequently as a matter of fact, that I just don't want to continue on with it... so even though I know I'm not supposed to continue eating, I just sorta fool myself into thinking, "Oh well, who cares? I can't lose weight anyway." Or like.... "Well, I'll eat a lot today.. and just not eat anything tomorrow to make up for it." But of course, you and I both know that these scenarios never work out the way you want them to. They just end up screwing you up more.

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Charlyssa

Hi again -

Awww, you're very welcome...but I DO understand how it is to need support when we go thru all these emotions about our weight, and food, and diets, blah, blah, blah. And who can blame you for being bummed???? We ALL need support, and for all KINDS of things we go thru in our lives!! My dear husband was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago - after treatments, so far, so good, and at "the moment" he's cancer-free....but I turned to food like another person might turn to drugs or drinking, as a way to self-medicate, to comfort myself and my horrible anxiety about it all. I really had no one to help ME thru this terrible time - everyone with their own problems and all - so, I REALLY do understand how it feels when you feel so alone in what you're going thru. And, yes, I VERY well know the games we play re our eating, only too well!!! All you can do is take one day at a time - neither look back at failure, nor ahead to tomorrow...in fact, take it meal by meal. *Just for this meal*...I will eat sensibly. Listen to me???? I need to take my own advice, too. Why is it easier to tell others how to do it, but DUH, how about trying it myself???? Well, as I said, I'm here for you. I support you and I KNOW you have the ability to do it. Hey, how about putting a picture of yourself up in the kitchen somewhere...either when you were slim...or how you look now. A constant reminder of what you want to do, you know?? Meanwhile, I'll always try to answer you asap. There are days when I'm very busy, BUT, you will ALWAYS get a response from, OK??

Hugs!
Char

dilemma

ahh!! i totally relate to both of you. my experience has been a bit drawn out. there was about a year and a half of losing weight (after gaining a ton first semester at college). then sometime last spring something snapped and i've been bingeing and attempting to restrict ever since, though the bingeing has been winning like 1000 to 1. . it's frustrating though. i used to be really skinny too. until high school around sophomore year. then it was just up and down until college where i really ballooned. then last year i thought i had it all under control, getting my weight down and down and down. wishful thinking i guess. it's all about getting the emotions under control i guess. how else can you explain this overpowering desire to eat when i'm obviously NOT hungry?? anyhow. i'm rambling. it's nice to know i'm not alone in this. we can all beat this irrationality. take cares!

Quencher

Oh, believe me, I've got PLENTY of pictures to remind me. But it's just.. hard. It's not something you can put into words. It's not like a math problem which you can't solve; but can get the correct answer to. It's beyond anything like that! There isn't one correct answer. It's a bunch of answers that you have to find the ability to put together. It's like an never-ending jigsaw puzzle, I tell yah. You know, out of all the silly scams I've tried, I've never thought of taking it one meal at a time. I've always tried to take it one day at a time. Maybe I should try that? I just hope I don't end up eating 15 meals a day! That wouldn't be too nice.

And it's okay if you're telling me things that you think you should be doing, as well. I do that all the time. It's the typical hypocrital thing that just happens, lol. But at least you're helping others to help themselves even though you're not helping yourself. (Get me?) And trust me, your bits of advice are helpful an awful lot.. even though it may not seem like it. Like Arnold Benett has said, "The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, [and] brooding, is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of somebody else." So, go on with what you're doing. It's okay. At least we all know that you know what COULD be done. I'll be even more depressing if you didn't know.

Dilemma: I hate that. Just when you think you're gonna put it off, it gets back at yah.

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