It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

  • do I have an eating disorder?

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 08-20-2004, 08:43 PM   #1
    jakelewis
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Aug 2003
    Location: Michigan
    Posts: 282
    jakelewis HB User
    Unhappy do I have an eating disorder?

    Hello hopefully someone can help me with this.I binge horrilble on food but I don't purge.I eat alot at night I can start out eating cookies and I mean lot of them like at least 12 then chips, cereal what ever I can get my hands on I feel full but for some reason keep on eating.It has gotten really bad lately this morning I had breakfast and then tons of cookies and I never do that in the morning.I try to hide it from my husband I've tryed to tell him I think I have a problem and her says you just like food like anyone else does and you like to eat.Sometimes I feel all alone.I had a baby back in November and am trying to take the rest of the baby weight off and I don't have far to go but I just can't do it I eat really good for a week and then all of a sudden one snack one piece of something sweet and I binge now it's gotten to the point where I can't even eat good for a week What really scared me was today I had some cavites filled and the doctor said I could only eat soft stuff and in that second I was thinking of all of the sweets that maybe I couldn't eat and it freaked me out.I hope I'm not weird I'm just scared I never had this problem until having my daughter it's like I can't enjoy anything unless there's food envolved I'm not over weight so I don't know if that matters please help and tell me if this is in fact is an eating disorder it is really starting to worry me

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 08-21-2004, 12:51 AM   #2
    Charlyssa
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Nevada
    Posts: 576
    Charlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jakelewis
    Hello hopefully someone can help me with this.I binge horrilble on food but I don't purge.I eat alot at night I can start out eating cookies and I mean lot of them like at least 12 then chips, cereal what ever I can get my hands on I feel full but for some reason keep on eating.It has gotten really bad lately this morning I had breakfast and then tons of cookies and I never do that in the morning.I try to hide it from my husband I've tryed to tell him I think I have a problem and her says you just like food like anyone else does and you like to eat.Sometimes I feel all alone.I had a baby back in November and am trying to take the rest of the baby weight off and I don't have far to go but I just can't do it I eat really good for a week and then all of a sudden one snack one piece of something sweet and I binge now it's gotten to the point where I can't even eat good for a week What really scared me was today I had some cavites filled and the doctor said I could only eat soft stuff and in that second I was thinking of all of the sweets that maybe I couldn't eat and it freaked me out.I hope I'm not weird I'm just scared I never had this problem until having my daughter it's like I can't enjoy anything unless there's food envolved I'm not over weight so I don't know if that matters please help and tell me if this is in fact is an eating disorder it is really starting to worry me
    Hi!!

    I'm a stress eater and I think I recognize this in you, too. Having a new baby is not easy!! Also, often times the hormones are still out of whack. Have you discussed this with your Dr.? Might be a very good idea. You may even have some mild depression, too, as anxiety and depression can go hand in hand. I suffer from both myself, and I'm a night eater, too. I'm guessing that you eat most when the baby is asleep...kinda like, whew!! I made it thru another day, and now I'll just treat myself to this...and that....????? And BTW, one can be of normal weight and have an ed (eating disorder) but the thing is, you don't want to gain and gain, like I did, because it got out of control, like a freight train I didn't know how to stop. I should have gotten help sooner, which is why I encourage you to talk to your Dr. asap. hope this helps. Best wishes to you and your little family!!

    Hugs!
    Char

     
    Old 08-21-2004, 06:48 AM   #3
    jakelewis
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Aug 2003
    Location: Michigan
    Posts: 282
    jakelewis HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    I do suffer from anxiety and depression and I am on medication for them but I have had this for years and my eating was never this bad.Honestly what scares me is I'm not stressed my daughter is so good!! that I don't really have a bad day with her which is a blessing.Do you think this is an ED?I was never a stay at home mom and I know being home doesn't help because I have more time to eat.I've even thought about getting a job but then I look at my little girl and think I'm so lucky to be able to stay home with her I don't want to have to do this just so I can control my eating.I should talk to my doctor do you think going to meetings for an ED would help?I'm so confused all I know is every day it gets harder and harer to control the cravings.

     
    Old 08-21-2004, 07:45 AM   #4
    Luktyl
    Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2004
    Location: USA
    Posts: 55
    Luktyl HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Having a baby - regardlesss of how good the baby is (and my feeling is they're all perfect little miracles) - requires a significant change in one's lifestyle and routine - and therefore a certain amount of stress. If you are already prone to depression, it's amazing how it can affect you. I'd say a conversation with your dr. is a great idea! He/she may be able to help you find some ways to deal with the depression part, at least. Good luck - your little baby girl deserves a healthy, happy mom! D.

     
    Old 08-21-2004, 01:49 PM   #5
    Charlyssa
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Nevada
    Posts: 576
    Charlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    HI again -

    I agree with luktyl that having a baby alters ones life significantly, which alone can be a stressor, especially if it's your first. being that this started after she was born, and also, that you have suffered depression and anxiety, food becomes another way to help us cope, fill in some gaps, de-stress, etc. It's what happened to me, as I was at my WORST when my husband was diagnosed 2.5 years ago w/cancer. There are oftentimes triggers. So, could this be the start of an ed? Yes. It also seems you are torn between staying at home with your daughter and having a career...the dilemma of countless women!! I do think some therapy might help you get to the bottom of all this. Also, maybe your meds need to be changed, too. You'll only be able to figure all of this out when you see your Dr. and explain. It's the first step of many baby steps to getting better!

    Best wishes!!!!
    Char

     
    Old 08-22-2004, 10:47 PM   #6
    Rhadianze
    Member
     
    Join Date: Aug 2004
    Location: Denver, CO
    Posts: 65
    Rhadianze HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Charlyssa,

    I have seen a few of your posts and am just curious, have you been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder?

     
    Old 08-23-2004, 10:04 AM   #7
    Charlyssa
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Nevada
    Posts: 576
    Charlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rhadianze
    Charlyssa,

    I have seen a few of your posts and am just curious, have you been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder?

    Hi!

    I think my ed is a tough one to pinpoint and compartmentalize, actually. My Dr. has deemed me a 'Compulsive Overeater'. Thing is, I eat as tho I'm on a diet all day due to some digestion problems - I don't tolerate fats, can only manage carbs. At night my digestion revs a bit and I can eat most anything...UNFORTUNATELY!!! By night, I'm HUNGRY, and BECAUSE I can eat what I like, I do. But the worst thing is my...sigh...ice cream...it's a MUST HAVE. It's a good sized cough too much cough serving, but I can stop with that. I don't keep eating, and I never keep eating when I'm full. So, there u have it. So, to answer your question....I don't think I'm a binger, as they can't stop eating. I just can't stop having my ice cream! There's some psychological stuff mixed in, too, and if you've read some of my threads/posts, u know what I mean. Ae u a binger??

    Hugs!
    Char

     
    Old 08-23-2004, 10:36 AM   #8
    Rhadianze
    Member
     
    Join Date: Aug 2004
    Location: Denver, CO
    Posts: 65
    Rhadianze HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Charlyssa, to sum me up, here is a section from a thread that I started:

    "I probably couldnt properly explain, no matter how hard I tried, the intensity of the hold food has over me. It's been my best friend and my worst enemy for years. And that to me, is pathetic. It's just food... its there to fuel us and keep us alive... not for an object of obsession.
    As I said in my previous post... I have had problems since I was 15 with eating but after all the restriction and exercising for hours on end , I just couldnt keep up with it anymore and always ended up bingeing. Well, that's easy... I discovered purging... problem solved, right? Wrong. I HATED throwing up... it made my nose bleed, my skin blotchy and swollen, my teeth always ached the next day, my eyes looked and felt as if they would pop out of my head and my heart felt as though it was going to just take off it was beating so fast. (Oh, and the headaches I would get afterward would have me bedridden soon after.) So eventually, I quit that, too. (Well, except for the moments nowdays when I worry that my stomach or throat will tear open from the sheer volume of food I've consumed.)

    Needless to say, though, one thing that has always remained thru these years is my unhealthy relationship with food. I should probably note that I also suffer from depression and anxiety and frequently get panic/anxiety attacks and am also Hypoglycemic (my doctor believes may well have been brought on from my sugar and carb loading and then restricting). These thigns seem to make the situation even worse as the depression makes me feel hopeless to begin with , which makes me want to eat and the panic and anxiety attacks are usually followed by food for comfort. Becaues of the Hypoglycemia, eating every few hours is a MUST, so I can 't just eat only when I feel hungry or else my blood sugar will drop and I will freak out. I swear I have tried EVERYTHING. I feel I don't have any hope left these days...My binges used to last a couple days at a time or so... maybe a week at most. Now it is a way of life. And many days I dont get any exercise anymore.

    I have been in therapy for years, cognitive behavioral therapy didnt work, Anti-depressants and meal plans have not worked. Food journals are worthless because I usually just eat and eat and then can't remember all of it or, even worse, sometimes when I find myself binging its like I am on auto-pilot and don't even really notice I am eating until I am on my second jar of peanut butter or something (literally). And the type of foods really don't matter either... there have been times that I polished off tubs of protein powder when I had a lack of other things to eat and was feeling too sick to go to the store. I have the training and certifications to instruct fitness classes and train one-on-one with clients, so I posess the knowledge required to be healthy and stable with eating and exercise and I can't hold to it myself...
    So thats just a bit about me. I feel worthless and hopeless and I know I am hurting my husband with my self-destructive habits and also run the risk of setting my 3 year old son up for eating problems later in life. Many days go by where, among other contradictive and confusing actions, I am preaching the importance of good food and habits, etc and then stopping at the store with him in the car for terrible binge foods or taking him to McDonalds and pigging out for both lunch and dinner some days. I just want this to go away... I don't want to end up in my thirties or fourties, extremely overweight. I am deathly afraid of going back, and possibly surpassing, the heaviest point I was ever at... I am not there now but I don't know what to do with myself... I am on my way back and it feels as though there is nothing for me to resort to to keep it at bay.


    So yes, I am ... I battle it every day and am always in search of people who understand the struggles!

    Last edited by Rhadianze; 08-23-2004 at 10:39 AM.

     
    Old 08-24-2004, 11:02 AM   #9
    Charlyssa
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Nevada
    Posts: 576
    Charlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rhadianze
    Charlyssa, to sum me up, here is a section from a thread that I started:

    "I probably couldnt properly explain, no matter how hard I tried, the intensity of the hold food has over me. It's been my best friend and my worst enemy for years. And that to me, is pathetic. It's just food... its there to fuel us and keep us alive... not for an object of obsession.
    As I said in my previous post... I have had problems since I was 15 with eating but after all the restriction and exercising for hours on end , I just couldnt keep up with it anymore and always ended up bingeing. Well, that's easy... I discovered purging... problem solved, right? Wrong. I HATED throwing up... it made my nose bleed, my skin blotchy and swollen, my teeth always ached the next day, my eyes looked and felt as if they would pop out of my head and my heart felt as though it was going to just take off it was beating so fast. (Oh, and the headaches I would get afterward would have me bedridden soon after.) So eventually, I quit that, too. (Well, except for the moments nowdays when I worry that my stomach or throat will tear open from the sheer volume of food I've consumed.)

    Needless to say, though, one thing that has always remained thru these years is my unhealthy relationship with food. I should probably note that I also suffer from depression and anxiety and frequently get panic/anxiety attacks and am also Hypoglycemic (my doctor believes may well have been brought on from my sugar and carb loading and then restricting). These thigns seem to make the situation even worse as the depression makes me feel hopeless to begin with , which makes me want to eat and the panic and anxiety attacks are usually followed by food for comfort. Becaues of the Hypoglycemia, eating every few hours is a MUST, so I can 't just eat only when I feel hungry or else my blood sugar will drop and I will freak out. I swear I have tried EVERYTHING. I feel I don't have any hope left these days...My binges used to last a couple days at a time or so... maybe a week at most. Now it is a way of life. And many days I dont get any exercise anymore.

    I have been in therapy for years, cognitive behavioral therapy didnt work, Anti-depressants and meal plans have not worked. Food journals are worthless because I usually just eat and eat and then can't remember all of it or, even worse, sometimes when I find myself binging its like I am on auto-pilot and don't even really notice I am eating until I am on my second jar of peanut butter or something (literally). And the type of foods really don't matter either... there have been times that I polished off tubs of protein powder when I had a lack of other things to eat and was feeling too sick to go to the store. I have the training and certifications to instruct fitness classes and train one-on-one with clients, so I posess the knowledge required to be healthy and stable with eating and exercise and I can't hold to it myself...
    So thats just a bit about me. I feel worthless and hopeless and I know I am hurting my husband with my self-destructive habits and also run the risk of setting my 3 year old son up for eating problems later in life. Many days go by where, among other contradictive and confusing actions, I am preaching the importance of good food and habits, etc and then stopping at the store with him in the car for terrible binge foods or taking him to McDonalds and pigging out for both lunch and dinner some days. I just want this to go away... I don't want to end up in my thirties or fourties, extremely overweight. I am deathly afraid of going back, and possibly surpassing, the heaviest point I was ever at... I am not there now but I don't know what to do with myself... I am on my way back and it feels as though there is nothing for me to resort to to keep it at bay.


    So yes, I am ... I battle it every day and am always in search of people who understand the struggles!

    Hi R.

    I am soooo sorry for all that you are suffering...and I can so very well relate to everything you've said. There are many similarities between us - the desperation we feel, the psychological pain, guilt, hopelessness (and I almost think that that's the worst of it) fear, and the hold that food has over us. I feel the same so I understand completely. Unlike you, however, I never purged...I just allowed the weight to keep piling on, to the point where I am now very obese. I'm so ashamed, angry and embarrassed!! Like you, I've tried therapy and got nowhere...in fact, I HATED it, never felt comfortable in the dozen visits, and it just added more stress to my already stressed life. I smoked more and ate more after the visits! The therapist was determined to stay rutted in my childhood, which was pointless. While I believe that my adult eating problems/patterns/thoughts were rooted in childhood (my mother used food/desserts as both reward and punishment) I was aware of it, so I didn't need the enlightening that therapy typically provides. I should point out, tho, that I don't BLAME - my mother couldn't and didn't know the long-term effects. At any rate, rehashing it all was pointless, because my mom's been gone since I was 24 (I'm 53) and obviously it's not as tho I can have a discussion with her about any any of it. In fact, the truth is, I'm glad she's not alive to see me now, for if she thought she was in ANY small way responsible, she'd be horrified. Also, I take full responsibility for what goes in my mouth...it's not her fault. Conversely, I can't help but think that there's SOMETHING to what I go thru today, and what I experienced as a a child....

    When I told my t. that I was terminationg therapy, she felt, of course, that it was a mistake...that I just hadn't "opened up" enough, and so we hadn't gotten to the bottom of it yet. I disagreed. During the sessions I opened up a vein and bled....VOMITED...all my thoughts and feelings, and cried the majority of the time. I left feeling like ----, sick to my stomach, and head pounding. Oh, yeah...I sooooooo needed to feel worse. Nothing she said, nor that we tried, helped, so...what was the point??? So, as I was getting up to leave that last time, she said I should think about hypnotherapy, that maybe it would help. I'd not heard of it, but have since googled/researched it a bit. I was afraid to have my mind tinkered with, and still am. But after realizing that it was perhaps my only hope...because I haven't been able to stop my eating habits, and because at my age, my weight is dangerous...and because I'd gained more since therapy.....and because I had now had some physical problems I had to have checked (because I'd gained, I was 6 months overdue to see my Dr. because I didn't want her to know) I made an appt to see her. While there, I asked her for a referral to see a hypnotherapist. It's a complicated and tedious process because my HMO doesn't have one in the network, so I've had to put it off a bit - my hub and I are in the process of closing on a house and moving (talk about stress) - but I am hoping this will be the solution. I'm thinking that whatever the reason is I can't seem to stop these destructive eating habits, is somewhere in my subconscious. I mean...how can I consciously KNOW what I'm doing is wrong, hurting my health, and desperately wanting to stop, yet for some reason I can't? Well, at any rate, it's my last hope before I throw up my hands in despair and check myself into a fat farm, that we really can't afford.

    Because you sound like me in so many ways, I thought I'd tell you about hypnotherapy. Obviously I don't yet know if it'll help me, or you...but it's perhaps something to think about...because frankly, I don't know what's left.

    I'm always here anytime you need to talk. I do a lot of that...the caring and support is wonderful. It helps to know that there are others who share our pain, and who can understand...sometimes even better than we, ourselves, can!!

    Take care!

    Hugs
    Char

    Last edited by Charlyssa; 08-24-2004 at 11:07 AM.

     
    Old 08-26-2004, 10:40 PM   #10
    Rhadianze
    Member
     
    Join Date: Aug 2004
    Location: Denver, CO
    Posts: 65
    Rhadianze HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Char...

    I have not heard much about hypnotherapy... but perhaps that is the answer when nothing else works. If you try it, PLEASE let us know how it goes...I think I will talk to my healthcare place to see if they offer it. I do have to say though , that of all the types of therapy that I have been through... cognitive behavioral therapy did do the most. Its amazing what our self-talk can do to our psyche. Although it did not cure me, which gets to be a bit frustrating sometimes. But I believe I have come to the point where I understand that I may never be "cured" in the actual sense of the word... that it may be an ongoing battle for the rest of my life. But hopefully, it will eventually become a battle that I can win whenever it presents itself. If that makes sense.

    Have you heard of, or tried, OA? I will be looking into that after we get done with our move so I can put my all into it... its been a stressful time lately because weve been moving from one place to another. But it has helped so, so, so, many people with BED/COE that I have to believe it can help me, too.

     
    Old 08-27-2004, 11:55 PM   #11
    Charlyssa
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Nevada
    Posts: 576
    Charlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB UserCharlyssa HB User
    Re: do I have an eating disorder?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rhadianze
    Char...

    I have not heard much about hypnotherapy... but perhaps that is the answer when nothing else works. If you try it, PLEASE let us know how it goes...I think I will talk to my healthcare place to see if they offer it. I do have to say though , that of all the types of therapy that I have been through... cognitive behavioral therapy did do the most. Its amazing what our self-talk can do to our psyche. Although it did not cure me, which gets to be a bit frustrating sometimes. But I believe I have come to the point where I understand that I may never be "cured" in the actual sense of the word... that it may be an ongoing battle for the rest of my life. But hopefully, it will eventually become a battle that I can win whenever it presents itself. If that makes sense.

    Have you heard of, or tried, OA? I will be looking into that after we get done with our move so I can put my all into it... its been a stressful time lately because weve been moving from one place to another. But it has helped so, so, so, many people with BED/COE that I have to believe it can help me, too.

    Hi R.

    Like you, My hub and I are also in the middle of a move. We were to close the 23rd, now it's this Mon., with the move the following Sat., and a gazillion things in between. These past couple of weeks have been horrendous, and we are now living out of boxes because everything is packed. LOL Stress out the kazoo...which does nothing for my eating!

    I feel as you do, that I'll probably never be cured of this ed, and that I'll battle it all my life. Essentially, I've already been doing that anyway, but I have never been this heavy. You never did say, but are you overweight?

    Oh, yes, I have heard of OA. My Dr. and I had quite a battle over it, me, practically on my knees begging her not to make me go. That's when we settled on regular one-on-one therapy. Even THAT was horrible the first several sessions, with my panic and anxiety, and the more people I'm around, the worse I get. I'm on meds but they just don't seem to help...then again, I'm only taking half what the psychiatrist recommends. I fear everything, drugs, too...yet I can puff away a pack of cigarettes a day. Can we say...DUH???? So, I couldn't handle the thought of being amongst strangers baring my soul. This I can do - being on the Boards gives me a voice. I can say things here that I can't with family or friends, even tho I'm in the minority, being obese. It's harder for anorexics and bulemics to understand, I think.

    I will probably start hypnotherapy end Sept./early Oct., and yes, I would be delighted tp pass along my experiences. I am soooooo hoping it will help, you have no idea. I'm so tired of feeling the way I do, physically and mentally. It's so very draining!

    Hugs!!!!
    Char

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    I have been diagnosed with bulimia, what now? mariadp Eating Disorder Recovery 5 03-17-2008 10:05 AM
    I have a Eating Disorder. Sari05 Eating Disorder Recovery 16 09-08-2006 11:03 AM
    I think I have an eating disorder? akalei Eating Disorder Recovery 6 04-12-2006 09:33 AM
    Night Eating SYNDROME ???? cvangogh Sleep Disorders 12 10-21-2004 05:53 AM
    Do i have an eating disorder? a start of one? please help xRachelx Eating Disorder Recovery 18 10-13-2004 06:29 PM
    Have got a new type of eating disorder? mystikal Eating Disorder Recovery 4 08-09-2004 03:08 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:11 PM.





    2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!