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    Old 08-26-2004, 08:45 PM   #1
    kjane's Avatar
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    Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    My problem is different bc I have stress-driven binges that I cant control. I do everything to stop it but when I'm in the midst of a binge, I feel like I'm hypnotized. I can't stop myself. It's as if I lost time. I am 30 lbs overweight and thankfully not more bc I obsessively exercise to keep burning calories. I tried to purge but I cant. I really don't want to either---I've always hated getting sick. Just to explain what I go through, I'll give you tonights session:

    My sister quit her job, My dad got laid off from his job after having a heart attack on Aug 10th. My mom is having some mental problems and emotional problems. My cat got in a fight with Something outside and needs medical attention. My kids are sick-----Now that's nothing which I'd consider THAT plaguing to get me to the "eat myself to death stage" but it did

    1 full sleeve of ritz crackers
    3/4 of a bag of Smartfood popcorn
    6 slices of cheese (About that Who knows I'm in a bewildered state)
    big bowl of ice cream
    more ice cream
    peanut butter on bread
    big glass of milk

    I ate until I felt sick. Is there anyone else who does this? I don't even realize I'm doing it until I count the empty wrappers and see what I've done. I am so out of control and I can't handle it anymore. My family gives me all this advice "stop eating when you are full" To tell you the truth, I never get to the point that I'm HUNGRY. I just eat to calm myself down. It always used to be ok when I could exercise it off. Now I'm over 30 and I guess my metabolism is slowing down bc it's not working. I hate what I do to my body. Then I feel so guilty about what I did to myself I just lay in bed depressed. I'm not anorexic or bulimic so where can I get help? My family says I just have to use self-restraint. I'm soooooo beyond that point. Is anyone experiencing this same problem? My weight gain has caused me to stay in and I've missed some summer parties bc I feel so awful about myself that I cant bring myself to go out. My husband is a great guy. He's trying to diet with me but I'm NOT doing well. He supports me but can't understand the things I do. (cant blame him---it's weird) I know I'm out there but If anyone can relate please let me know. Thanks for listening

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    Old 08-26-2004, 09:22 PM   #2
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    Re: Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    I do. Everyday.

    Old 08-29-2004, 12:01 AM   #3
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    Re: Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    Kjane... theres a few of us who have the same issues here. And to be honest with you... Ive had episodes where I have eaten twice as much as what you listed there. I am also an exercise bulimic. Have you heard of that? Anyways, I came to the post looking for friends who were going thru the same thing as me and didnt find any until just recently when I found a post like yours... I will copy and paste to you what I replied to her post because it fits almost too perfect, (she has become a close posting buddy now and hopefully you will too!):

    "I do not know how much you know on the subject... how long its been going on, etc. but it sounds like you may have an actual overeating disorder called BED (Binge Eating Disorder) or sometimes called COE (Compulsive Over-eating) . I battled with it a bit near the end of high school when my parents were close to splitting , but it sort of faded for awhile when I took up other bad habits. It got worse over the years until I went back and was actually diagnosed with the disorder about 1 year after the birth of my son. I have a lengthy history of disordered eating and can now look back and see times that foreshadowed it that I never even really thought about.
    You say you feel so guilty that you do it, but thats one of the main aspects of BED, is impulsive eating, sometimes even accompanied by a sort of "detached" or "spacey" feeling where you feel you are almost on auto-pilot and your body is in a way, "eating without you". It differs from the binges involved in bulimia or anorexia in that, there are no compensatory behaviors performed after the binges to rid yourself of the food consumed. (i.e. - exercise or purging) Instead, (from my own experience), we normally just take a look at the empty boxes or bags and feel very disgusted/guilty...hate and curse ourselves... many times only leading to more binging in hopes of lifting our spirits from that guilt as well. It's a terrible cycle. For some people with BED, the binges sort of just meshed into one... called "graze" binging , where you eat pretty much over and over during the course of an entire day, sometimes dayS , even weeks... all the while feeling incredibly full uncomfortable and horribly out of control. From what I understand, BED/COE has only recently over the past 10 years or so, been more heavily researched and treated as far as eating disorders go, only above chewing/spitting which hasn't really received the attention and care that it really needs as of yet. But that doesn't mean that help and healing is not out there... many people fully recover... that is where I hope to be one day."

    And, as you noted with your family and them not really understanding...THat is very common. Many people with BED will attempt to get help or support from their families, only to find that it is a misunderstood situation by many people in that there's sort of a "well, just have a little more self-control" or, "just dont eat it", mentality. But as you already probably know, its a compulsion. A disorder just like Bulimia or Anorexia, chewing/spitting, etc. Just the same as bulimia or anorexia, it is something that is out of control once it begins and has the power to consume you and all your actions and thoughts. If you have said before that you will not do it and "set your mind to it" and still have caved in, unfortunately it will probably take some help from a professional to recover completely

    If you need somewhere to go and talk, this is a great place. To be honest ( but hopefully not brutally so)...the longer it carries on, the more weight you gain, the more complicated it gets and the longer it may take to heal. If you need someone to talk to, I have been and still am many times in your shoes and will be more than happy to give a few words of advice or support or even just a listening ear. I will def come back and check this post often to see what you have to say

    Last edited by Rhadianze; 08-29-2004 at 12:05 AM.

    Old 08-30-2004, 07:05 PM   #4
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    Re: Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    Thank you so much for all your kind words. I hope you're not getting this message for the third time-----Storm here and power keeps going on and off. Anyway, I really appreciate all the info. I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one. You really seem to have done a lot of work and research to get yourself well again. I'm so glad bc people like you REALLY have a lot of impact on us just learning this is NOT THE NORM. I hope you are doing well and continue to do so. I just went to my fam doc and got some anti-anxiety meds. At least, that should help a little until I find a psyc to talk to. I'm grateful for your friendship and support. ----I feel much better than I did the other day. I just have had crazy family stress lately which should fizzle out I'm sure. I've been trying to talk to my husband about what's going on. These message boards should make it easier. He's been so supportive over the last few days. I know he still doesn't understand, but he's trying.


    Old 09-06-2004, 07:53 PM   #5
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    Re: Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    Same here! I just started a thread called Battling Binge Eating Disorder! Feel free to come join us! There are many of us who will be there!

    Old 09-06-2004, 08:12 PM   #6
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    Re: Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    I have been there too. In the past, I couldn't seem to control myself. As I was eating, I would mentally go through the contents of the fridge and cabinets to see what I could eat next, almost as if I were setting a goal for myself: If you eat this entire pizza, you can have ice cream for dessert. Two things have helped me gain control. First, I have gained a lot of weight, and my doctor - after explaining to her that I never feel full - put me on glucaphage (sp?). It is a medication for diabetes, but it helps your body control and better use insulin. This has helped. Second, I have recently gone on the South Beach Diet. Even if you have no intrest in going on the diet, you may wish to read the first part of the book, which explains how your body uses insulin.

    I would also recommend that you speak to a doctor or another trusted person, like a pastor. It may be that you are depressed and that your eating is a sympton of that, not the other way around. In any case, I wish you the best of luck.

    Old 09-09-2004, 07:38 PM   #7
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    Re: Does anyone binge w/o purging?

    Thanks so much. Surprisingly I just borrowed that book from my friend. Haven't had time to check it out yet but I will now. My attitude is getting better and I'm sure, in time and with help, my health will follow. Again---Thanks

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