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  • Biggest fear of recovery is "overeating".....

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    Old 06-23-2005, 05:40 AM   #1
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    Unhappy Biggest fear of recovery is "overeating".....

    I know my fear is what is holding me back from being able to eat normally. I'm just really scared of "overeating". I'm so afraid of going from one extreme to another....from being too skinny to being too fat. Right now I'm working on being able to "legalize" all foods....all the things I've been avoiding because I like them so much that when I do eat them I tend to eat too much. I LOVE cream, chocolate, candy...etc. Yesterday I had an ounce of dark chocolate (2 mini herseys dark chocolate pieces) and then last night I had a small marshmallow ice cream sundae. I'm totally beating myself up about it. I feel I ate WAY too much yesterday anyway on top of the "bad" things. This is just so hard. I just want to be able to eat normally. To me normal is eating all the healthy foods to stay healthy, but also all the foods I love without overindulging. I seriously thought about making myself sick last night. I'm NOT bulimic and I've never made myself throw up but I really thought about it. I DON'T want to go through that! I don't know what to do I'm just really stressed out right now about all of this. I need some advice please.......

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    Old 06-23-2005, 06:18 AM   #2
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    Re: Biggest fear of recovery is "overeating".....

    dont beat urself hun!! what u ate was not much at all. and with me i am having troubles not overeating during supper. i always do, and end up purging just a lil but (not all the meal, just until im comfortable). i know ur not bulimic, and im glad ur not never ever think of making urself sick!! not fun at all. just relax, eat slowly, and once u feel good, dont over eat. eat until ur comfortable, not terribly full. me personally cant recognize that feeling yet. but i am working at it

    take care hun and i am so glad u are allowign urslef to eat these foods...u make me proud and ur such an inspiration for others in recovery

    Old 06-23-2005, 07:01 AM   #3
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    Re: Biggest fear of recovery is "overeating".....

    I'm with you on that fear, Piscean. I was just talking to my therapist about this yesterday.. how my anorexia has improved because I'm eating more, but that in some ways it's a little worse because in eating more I have developed this really rigid schedule of foods that I eat every day at the same times and cannot deviate from. I'm afraid of deviating from it because I'm terrified that I'll just bust out and overeat. It's really frustrating because it sometimes starts trouble between me and my boyfriend. Like he'll visit me during the week and want to cook or go out and I just panic because I have to eat my oatmeal with jam at 5:30 just like I always do. If I have something else, I won't know how many calories are in it and I could start to binge. I know that tendancy is in there for me. It's all or nothing.. I don't really know a middle ground. I guess that's where I nutritionist could really help.. but I guess I just haven't found one that's been good for me yet. I'm frustrated too. Two steps forward, one step back.

    Old 06-23-2005, 07:17 AM   #4
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    Re: Biggest fear of recovery is "overeating".....

    Ok..I hope this ok to post but here is what I ate yesterday just to show you why I'm freaking may help me anyway to write this all out because then I can see the big picture of how my day really was.

    Bowl of vanilla cream frosted mini wheats w/ skim milk, banana, 2 cups of coffee
    Snack: Handful of baby carrots
    Lunch: Salmon salad sandwich (canned salmon w/ ff mayo), 1/2 cup ff cottage cheese, 1/2 cup canned corn (no salt), small apple, 1 oz dark chocolate, cup of light grape juice (only 35 cals). Was this too much for lunch?
    Snack: Handful of honey roasted peanuts, cup of canteloupe cubes, cup of skim milk
    Dinner: Good sized helping of rotini noodles (whole wheat) w/ tomato and basil sauce and a little bit of mozz cheese, small side salad w/ ff italian dressing, yogurt
    Snack: This was not planned....but a small marshmallow ice cream sundae :S

    In all I figured I had probably 2300-2400 cals, but I may be overestimating...not sure. Do you think I'm eating too much? I did 20 min of yoga and maybe 15 min of cardio yesterday and some light house work. I usually also get in about a 3 mile walk pushing a stroller but I didn't last night. Today I'm doing 30 min of pilates and a walk. So far today for breakfast I had a bowl of special K w/ skim milk and 1 piece of whole wheat toast w/ 1 tbs of peanut butter.

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