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    Old 01-30-2006, 07:28 PM   #1
    LS289
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    No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    I just got back from traveling and, as some of you know, am going to seek help for my eating. Apparently I have a problem, which is still hard for me to COMPLETELY admit, but I know that I am very thin. I am around 6' tall and 120ish lbs. I keep thinking that if I weighed maybe just 5 lbs less I'd need help, but I'm fine right now. My friends and family are worried and since I am living back at home now for the time being (it's only been 2 days now), my parents are assuming control of the situation. I guess it's a good thing, but I am VERY frustrated right now.
    I haven't exercised in a long time and felt like I needed to go for a run this morning. I got up around 7:30 and left my parents a note saying I was going for a small walk (even though I was planning on running). Next thing I knew my dad drove up next to me on the street and said "No. Get in the car." I was so mad at the time and I really don't think it is right for them to think that I should just stop exercising COLD TURKEY, do you? I would walk or just jog, but I don't need to sit around and become a blob, do I!? I don't know what to think. Are they right or am I? I'm trying to trust other opinions and not my own head any more, so anything you have to suggest would be wonderful...I'll trust you.
    Thank you so much...

     
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    Old 01-31-2006, 07:01 AM   #2
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Hi,
    I went to my therapist last week for the first time, and she told me the same thing--No more exercise. I'm just supposed to stop cold turkey also. But, that's easier said than done. So my plan is to cut back a few minutes each day, and it's actually working. That's alot easier than just quitting altogether. Also, maybe your workout intensity could slow down, instead of running, maybe you really could just walk briskly. That's another thing I'm working on. By the end of my workout, I haven't gone as far as I did before.

    Also, you really need to be careful about the possibility that something could happen to you physically. Have you been for a physical recently? Cardiac problems were something my therapist was concerned about with me. And I had some chest pains last night which scared me, so I haven't even worked out at all today. I know you say you feel fine, but do listen to your family and friends right now, you sound like you're aware that your perception of things might not be accurate. That's taken alot for me to admit to also, but I've told myself it's okay to trust people who love and care about me, they do want what's best for us.

    Hope I've been of some help to you.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 08:55 AM   #3
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    i know its hard honey but try to seriously cut it back. you are WAY underweight and you aren't eating enough to keep exercising. i would suggest walking (NOT briskly, a relaxed pace, and no more than 1-1/2 to 2 miles a day) and nothing more until you get into therapy. i know it seems hypocritcal of me to say this because i've been running all through my therapy and haven't stopped, but i'm also eating upward of 3000 calories a day, i work a desk job, and i'm not allowed to walk. so except for that 25 minute run 4 mornings a week, i too have been sitting around and being "a blob." it feels HORRIBLE at first (you feel fat, lazy, anxious, bored, etc.), but you do get used to it. try to come up with some stationary activities to do . . . a good book (i'm reading Pride and Prejudice - it's great!). Do you sew? Maybe a sewing project or some other sort of project (with my exercise restrictions, i've basically painted, recovered pillows, redecorated all over our apartment! it's been REALLY fun and the place looks awesome!) It's important to keep yourself stimulated so you feel like you aren't just sitting around getting fat, you know?

    that sucks about your dad picking you up. (i can just imagine how ****** i'd be!) but honestly, he really did the right thing and i think you realize that (by the way, you have a very mature outlook on all this. i really respect that.) it's so hard and it's embarrassing and all that, but you know he's only doing it because he is worried about his little girl's life, you know? try to lean on your parents as much as possible right now. you need them and it sounds like they're there for you 100%, so take advantage of them. you'll probably get sick of them, etc., but use their love as much as you can right now.

    another thing to keep in mind is that with your weight, height, and the number of calories you're eating now (it doesn't even matter how much, because it's not enough since you've been steadily losing weight), you are at serious risk of a heart attack. i'm sure the doctor'll tell you the same thing once you go in, but please just take my word on it for now. (i was in the same place before!) exercising makes the risk MUCH higher, so maybe that's scary enough for you to want to stop. really, a slow relaxing walk will make you feel less blob-ish and it's not as risky for your health.

    i know it seems like everything is crashing down around you right now and you don't know which way to turn, but be strong. you've taken the hardest, bravest step, and i promise everything will get easier from here on out. i remember feeling so lost and confused after i told my mom and knew i was going to start therapy. there was like a week while we found my therapist, set up the appointment, etc. when i felt so in limbo. but the minute i sat in her office, i felt like a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders! so good luck and keep me posted!

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 01:35 PM   #4
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    How about just going on walks instead of running? Atleast you will feel like you are out doing something, but not an activity that will lead to harmful weight loss.

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 02:56 PM   #5
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Dear Dawgfan - that is really scary about the cardio problems...I haven't had a checkup in a while, but I honestly don't think I'm thin enough to have a heart attack or anything like that. I just think I should be able to at least jog or go for a long walk, but my parents are being crazy.
    And Joni - I wish I could keep running like you are, but I honestly don't think my parents will let me (at least not now). I just feel like I have worked so hard to be in shape and consider myself a "runner" and now I am just going to turn to blubber. Is this the case? My dad says that running is aerobic and burns calories and that is EXACTLY what I don't need to do right now, but I think it builds muscle and releases my tension, too. I guess I could do something like yoga, but that just doesn't feel like a workout.
    Today I was away from my mom (I say this b/c yesterday she wouldn't let me out of her sight b/c she thought I was going to go for a run) and I've eaten a grapefruit, a green apple, some lifesavers, and a nonfat latte from starbucks. I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm going to go for a walk or jog before she gets home. I know she would be mad if she knew all of this, but I'm doing it anyway. I can't help it today - I feel really disgusting. AND we are going out to dinner with family friends so I know I'll be eating a big dinner.
    I think I'm really stressed right now, too, because I just got back from traveling and need to figure out my LIFE -job, city, etc...I can't live at home for the rest of my life! I'm 23 and I know I have some time, but I feel extremely anxious.
    Anyway, I know I sometimes sound so rational about all this and then sometimes so UNrational, but I can't help it. I guess I should really do that whole therapy thing. Just keep putting it off.....

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 03:35 PM   #6
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    oh honey, i'm so sorry you're going through all this! you've got about a million different conflicting issues crashing together right now and i can only imagine how hard it's gotta be.

    you HAVE to get into therapy. stop putting it off and just do it. i know i said it before, but can anything get any worse from going into therapy? you're starving yourself, you feel like crap, you're at odds with your parents and hiding stuff from them, you're lost in terms of food, exercise, life, job, feelings and all of this is filling you up with anxiety and fear. really, what could possibly be worse than this?

    i don't want to make you feel worse or like you've done something wrong. you've done everything you could, but this damn ED has just taken over and it's beating you down, baby. you're stuck in a REALLY tough place right now, and you need some help. i feel like i'm there with you and maybe it's because i was in pretty much the exact same place right before i started therapy. that's why i'm pushing it so hard.

    i cannot begin to describe to you how much better life will get. and it'll get better FAST. you won't feel as lost, you'll have goals, a plan, support, and you'll feel like you're doing the best thing for your body that you can. no, it's not gonna go away overnight by any means (i've been in therapy since July and look where i am now - still trying to gain, still religiously counting calories, still somewhat nervous about going out to eat, etc.) BUT, i'm comfortable talking about my ed, i know what i can and can't do, i stick to my diet plan and never cheat or feel guilty about eating, i'm SO much happier and relaxed, i don't hate my body or my mind for doing this to me as much, and most of all, i KNOW i'm gonna get better. i think that's the best part. I know it's still a way off, but I'm confident that i'm gonna beat this thing someday and i can't wait for that feeling of freedom.

    please, please, PLEASE get into a doctor/therapist/nutritionist ASAP. you can't go on like this much longer without driving yourself mad, you know? just do it, girl! i know you can!

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 04:49 PM   #7
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    LS289 Said:
    "but I honestly don't think I'm thin enough to have a heart attack or anything like that"

    PLEASE don't fool yourself into thinking that. That is what everyone thinks. Then it happens and lot of times they die.
    You are like 6' and 120, right? Well, that is about the equivilant of of a 5' person weighing 75 lbs.

    If you were 5' and 75 lbs, do you think that would be thin enough to have a heart attack? Yes.

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 06:39 PM   #8
    LS289
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Yes, Natalie, I guess you are right. Why take the chance, right? But it's not as if I run miles on end (when I do run). Wouldn't that be the only reason to be worried? If I were literally running myself into the ground?
    Anyway, JONI, you are right, and I know it, but it's so hard to apply what you say to myself. Question: should I job hunt and start trying to figure my life out right now (might make me feel better and have some direction) or do you think I should solely focus right now on my eating and getting better? I am way too confused to decide for myself.
    I want to "get better", but it's still hard for me to even admit that there is a problem or that it is a technical ED. Did you feel that way, too? I know that there is something wrong with how I eat and how I view myself, but I don't think I consider it an ED, per se. And I don't think it's denial - I think I just picture someone with an ED being forced into therapy or something and not eating a thing.
    What do you think helps the most? A nutritionist? A therapist? I've seen both before in the past...A group? Advice!!

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 07:34 PM   #9
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Hi Again

    You asked if you should job hunt and try to "start figuring out your life" now or solely focus on you ED. I can tell you right now, FOCUS ON YOUR ED. Your future and career opportunities will still be here in a year, in 5 years. But you won't have a future if you don't get you ED under control.

    AND...You will NOT be as good as you could be at your job as long as you have an ED, which takes so much of your focus, and so much of your energy, and leaves you in poor health. Don't you want to be the best you can be at your job?? Well, having an ED leaves you drained mentally and physically, and you won't be your best.

    You can't think as well when you are deprived of food!

    You want to be at your best when you go out there at the job interviews, right? Well, to do that you have to be healthy. Don't cheat yourself out of a great job by not being the best you can be.

    I am going through a lot of the same things as you. I am 22 and still living at home, and want to get on with my life. Unforuantly, I am dealing with CFS and am practically housebound now. I am looking into new treatment next month. In the past I tried to just keep living my life, school, work, ect and didn't deal with my ED as aggressively as I should have, and my school work suffered! I was too tired and too focused on food to get the grades I would have If I had dealt with my ED before going back to school.

    There are people who don't graduate from college and start their real career until they are in their 30's, so don't think you have to decided what to do at 23.

    Remember: When you have an ED, you are not the person you really are.

    A therapist AND a nutritionist are the best bet. Both. And possibly group therapy,also.

    Will you make me a promise? PLEASE call a therapist this week Where you do you live? (you don't have to say if you don't want to) There might be a hospital that has an outpatient ED program around you. The longer you put off dealing with your ED, the more of your precious life and time you lose.

    Last edited by Natalie00; 01-31-2006 at 07:38 PM.

     
    Old 01-31-2006, 10:38 PM   #10
    LS289
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Thanks, Natalie. That makes me feel a lot better about not getting the job ball rolling. I have this aversion to being idle and now that I am back from traveling I feel like I need to get a job, move to another city, etc, etc...but honestly, I should focus on my health. And that is what my parents keep telling me, too! It's not as if they are kicking me out of the house - it is just me thinking that!!!
    But anyway, like I said before, I know that the way I approach food is sometimes a little "disordered," but I still do not think I have a full on eating disorder. I haven't even exercised in a long time and I went out to dinner tonight and had a big huge normal meal - nothing disordered in that! I actually feel good, yet bad about today because.....
    I had a grapefruit and a green apple late morning and a nonfat latte. Then I had 2 slices of lowfat vegi cheese (40 cals each) and six ginger gummy bears. For dinner I ate seared ahi tuna with vegetables (from a restaurant so probably had some sauce or butter), part of a starter salad, and 2 bites of a piece of bread. Oh and kiwi sorbet for dessert. I am not overly full, but I ate the same courses as everyone else (and the same amount, I imagine) so how can I claim to have a "problem" when I do that? Do you see what I am saying?

    Anyway, that's probably a stupid question. It's just hard b/c sometimes I feel so helpless and scared and other times I feel 100% normal and retarded for even saying I have a disorder.

    I will call a therapist tomorrow. It's actually my old one and I'm sort of embarassed to be recontacting her, but oh well. I hope she doesn't think I'm some sort of failure...

     
    Old 02-01-2006, 10:23 AM   #11
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    oh, she won't think you're a failure at all! it's totally normal to lapse back into these things, especially when you don't fully recover from them in the first place. she won't be shocked at all to hear your call, i bet, and i think it'll be good to call someone you already have some history with. thank you SO much for calling!! just be honest and open . . . you can do it!

    also, do not doubt that you have a problem and don't undermine it's power. i think i've said this before, but it's easy to be fooled by your ED telling you that what you do/think/feel/eat is "normal" and "healthy." you have an eating disorder, a serious one, and you need help for it. yeah, maybe you ate a dinner with everyone else, but what did you eat the rest of the day? hardly anything! i guarantee that everyone you dined with ate at least 4 times the amount of food you did yesterday. plus, you know how many gummi bears you ate, how many bites of bread, etc. that doesn't sound like a problem? i'm not criticizing you at all, i just want you to see that this IS an eating disorder and i don't want you to play it down and feel stupid or shameful about getting help. you need help and that's okay! in fact, it's great! it's great that you can see it (at least a little bit) and that you're willing to do it.

    one more quick thing about the job/future situation. i agree with Natalie that going out on a full-fledged job search is not a great idea right now (especially since it seems like you don't need to). your health and beating your ed is MUCH more important right now and the more time and energy you can devote to that, the better. that being said, i don't recommend sitting around your parent's house unemployed and bored all the time (cuz i know i'd be SUPER bored!).

    what did you major in? maybe you could find something enjoyable to do part-time -- a part-time job related to something you might want to do, an internship, volunteering, etc. or even a part-time job that you just really enjoy, you know? (ie; working in a bookstore as opposed to the local Wal-Mart because you enjoy reading or something. i dont' recommend the Wal-Mart job . . . ick!) Anyway, finding a job that you really enjoy might really help you get out of feeling so icky all the time, and if it's not super demanding, i think it'd be great! just think of all the fun jobs you could do (since you don't have to make enough to support yourself, which is AWESOME) right in the city you live. anyway, i'd suggest some form of good employment, just put off looking for "the" job right now, you know?

    well, speaking of jobs, mine is SUPER stressful and busy right now (ugh), so i gotta go. good luck and let me know how the therapist call goes.

     
    Old 02-01-2006, 10:45 AM   #12
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    OK- I will admit that I have a problem. But do you know what I mean about how sometimes you look at what you ate or what you did and say "wait, this is even more than a NORMAL person would eat. What am I doing saying that I have a problem!?!?"

    This morning I woke up at 9am b/c my mom was going out and I was going to go for a jog. Instead I went upstairs and started tasting every single cereal we have and decided to eat breakfast. I made a big bowl of cottage cheese, a banana, blueberries, and a bunch of cereal. Then I was taking spoonfuls of lowsugar jam and eating it with the cottage cheese plain. I am SO full now and I feel HORRIBLE. Not only did I NOT go running, I ATE instead!! It's as if I sabotaged myself so I couldn't run.

    It's already late morning so I know I definitely won't need lunch, but I also 100% have to go for a run later. I haven't exercised in WAY too long!!! I also just want to eat something light for dinner tonight - none of this 3 course meal thing....

    I called my therapist and left her a message, so I'm proud of myself for that, but I also still feel like a little boy crying wolf. Oh well.
    I'll let you know what happens with that. Should I be worrying about how I ate that huge 3 course meal last night and didn't exercise and then had a huge breakfast today, or should I get over it????

     
    Old 02-01-2006, 10:51 AM   #13
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    I agree with Joni, there is no need to sit around the house all day.

    Have you considered volunteer work?

    Or maybe do something you've always wanted to do: Start to learn a new language, read books by an author you've always been interested in, watch movie you've always wanted to see, maybe learn the piano or somethin'

    Just don't get a job at wal mart..they get paid like $6 an hour or less and no benefits; I shop at wal mart and the employees never look very happy. Unless you desperately need the money, volunteering is much more rewarding than bringing home a $30 paycheck for 8 hours work.

    Do something that makes you HAPPY. When we are happy we are apt to do things that are better for us.

    And one more thing...what you ate yesterday was probably 8-900 calories max, and we know that is wayyyy too low for you. Not to be critical, I know you are trying, but please don't fool yourself into thinking you don't have an ED. You know exactly how much food you ate (6 gummi bears!) which is a sign on an ED, you don't eat enough to keep weight on wich is an ED, you exercise to lose weight which is an ED, and you have to maintain a low weight to be happy, which is an ED. I am SOO glad you are calling your theapist, and she won't think you're a failure for goodness sakes, it is her job to help people!

     
    Old 02-01-2006, 01:25 PM   #14
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Giving up running was the harded thing I has to do during recovery. I felt really restless and I felt the same was as you do...scared I would become a couch potato! Mu dietician told me that in the earlier years of eating disorder treatment, anoretics were ordered to stop all exercise immediately. Now they wait to see how you progress until they order exercise stop. Having people tell me I couldn't run made me so mad. I know how you feel! Walking doesn't really cut it for me. If you know you can't run, I would suggest occupying your mind and time with something else like art or a book. That's something that really helped me.
    ALSO! Let the ability to run again be your motivation for gaining back some weight. That was a big motivator for me. Now I appreciate my excerise so much more. And I now do it not because I feel like I have to but because I want to. Good luck!!

     
    Old 02-01-2006, 02:27 PM   #15
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    Re: No exercise COLD TURKEY?

    Rysta-
    Do you think giving up exercise was a good thing for you or do you think that my parents and people are being extreme. It just seems like eating more AND not exercising is coming at it from both ends and will make me get fat at TWICE the pace!!

     
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