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LS289 02-01-2006 10:26 PM

Frozen yogurt...
Frozen yogurt is honestly one of my favorite foods. I love getting it plain or with yummy toppings like oreos, fudge, or Reeses peanut butter cups.
HOWEVER, I become addicted to it very easily. Before I left for 5 months of traveling (from which I just got back) I was eating it almost every night after dinner (full or not) and felt like I was obsessed with it. It is just SO good!

So anyway, my question now is, should I start eating it again or just not b/c I know that I will become obsessed with it. It's almost like I know it will trigger me. BUT, I apparently need to gain weight right now, so should I take advantage of that and eat it? I guess I'm just worried that once I DO gain enough weight I won't be able to stop eating it! I can't imagine having to take it away...but maybe I'll even be sick of it by then? Am I overanalyzing this? What if it were brownies or ice cream? Would your answer be the same?

By the way, I did a yoga class tonight (one of the only forms of exercise my parents will permit me to do now) and I LOVED it! I felt so great afterwards and so calm...I am going to make it a habit and have it help me through my attempt at recovery.

Jonistyle2 02-02-2006 07:33 AM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
YES, you are overanalyzing. just eat the damn yogurt and move on! you need a therapist and dietician now, girl, don't you realize that??? you are worried and obsessing about whether or not to eat frozen yogurt because you want it but you are trying to restrict it because you're worried about whether you'll be able to eat it in the future! if that's not serious anorexia, i don't know what is.

i don't want to be mean, but seriously, re-read your post with your logical brain on. then, smile and crack up with laughter! it's ridiculous, hon, and you know it! eat the yogurt if you want it, soon you'll have a diet plan and i'm 99.9% sure dessert will be part of it, so you'll get to eat it every day if you like. for now, try not to obsess about one little food so much. i know it's hard and that's where ED's are rooted (in obsessive behavior), but try to redirect some of that obsession towards something, anything else.

and yes, if it were brownies or ice cream or cheesecake or whatever, my answer would be EXACTLY the same.

LS289 02-02-2006 09:44 AM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
Thanks, Joni. I can tell how frustrated you are getting and I feel the EXACT same way with myself. I sound like an idiot with some of these questions and I know it, but I think I'm just looking for reassurance. I am not a stupid person, but I definitely sound like it sometimes. I'm sure you understand though....

Going to try today to do well....Just woke up and had some coffee with milk and I'm going to lunch with my big brother today. I want to do yoga later and maybe run or walk...we'll see....

Thanks again for your patience.

Jonistyle2 02-02-2006 03:08 PM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
oh sweetie, don't think i'm getting frustrated or that i think you're dumb or anything!!! i'm so sorry if my post came off that way, i really didn't mean it too. (some of my stress at work might be rolling over to my replys on these boards . . . lol)

if it seems like i'm frustrated with your questions, maybe that's like 1% true, but mostly, i just want to beat it into you how desperately you need professional help. that's why i'm using that frustrated-style tone, i guess. i definitely am not getting sick of talking to you and i'm here for you anytime and i really do care about what's going on with you and your struggles. but i also firmly believe you won't be able to beat this without some intensive therapy. i've been there, and i'm really not that far past that point, you know? i still obsess about eating this or that, and i know how frustrated i get with MYSELF, so i guess i'm saying, i totally understand what you're feeling.

now i feel like this post is getting disjointed, but basically i want you to know that i IN NO WAY think you're unintelligent or petty or whatever. (sometimes i wish we could meet, because i really think we'd get along well!) i'm not frustrated talking to you, i'm just trying to push you as hard as i can to get professional help. but please, don't stop posting. i really believe you can overcome this (and i'm sure you know it too!) and i want to help you (and have you help me!) along the way.

how's that whole therapy thing coming along, by the way? (lol, i feel like my mom, checking to make sure i go to therapy, that i'm honest, that i'm following my meal plan, etc.!) So not to be too motherly and overly annoying, but have you spoken to your old therapist yet? I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best. And i'm always here and never judging with you (i've been through it all and go through the same stuff all the time . . . it's so hard!).

Also, try the laughing at yourself thing. it really helps me when i'm standing in front of "x and y" foods and trying to decide one, the other, both or none. i kind of laugh and say, "jo, what are you doing, you dork!?! just pick something and let's go! you look like an idiot!" anyway, it doesn't always work, but a lot of times it helps me chill out a little, you know? and it at least makes me smile!

LS289 02-02-2006 09:47 PM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
I completely know what you mean! Sometimes I debate in a restaurant or supermarket for so long just because one thing might have 20 more calories and 4 more grams of fat! It sounds so stupid, but it's true. The other day when I was at the supermarket I couldn't decide whether I should get ***** Go Lean or ***** Go Lean Crunch. The crunch sounded so much better, but it had more calories...of course, I got the non-crunch one, but hopefully one day I will just get the one that SOUNDS better to me and not think twice about it.

Don't worry - I wasn't offended and I didn't think you were getting frustrated with me, I just didn't want you to think that I was being supid b/c I KNOW the facts and I KNOW that sometimes I sound petty.

So here is what I had today - how do you think I'm doing?...
Breakfast: just coffee with milk and a few hard candies (went to a Drs appointment and didn't have time).
Lunch: BBQ chicken salad with dressing on the side and extra bbq sauce (lettuce, corn, black beans, chicken), 2 bites of a roll, 2 swedish fish, 4 candy corns, large fuji apple
Snack: 20 mini pretzels with a few dried papaya spears
Dinner: chicken breast, steamed veggies, 1/2 small baked potato
Dessert: nonfat frozen yogurt

I sort of feel bad about the frozen yogurt, but what else is new...
I also did Bikram yoga (no running)...really feel like I need to do some sort of cardio though...

Jonistyle2 02-03-2006 07:51 AM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
i've debated between those two cereals too! (and yes, i also picked the lower calorie one even though the other one looked WAY better. geez, we're such dorks! i think we should make a pact to just buy the yummy-looking crunch one next time. seriously.)

how do i think you did today? pretty darn good, girl! still a VERY light day of eating, but much better than some of your recent days, so congrats!! if i had to offer any suggestions, i'd say add breakfast definitely (but i understand about the appt.), maybe a little morning snack (fruit or yogurt?), and a little bit more for dinner (whole potato, bread and butter, some sauce/breading on the chicken). all in all though, you ate very healthily, but at least it was somewhat closer to the amount you should be taking in (although i still think it should be much more). also, good job with the frozen yogurt! feeling bad about it is okay, but just try to focus on how yummy it was! and do it again today, just to prove to yourself you can!

i think it's great that you're doing yoga. i'm planning on starting it soon (as soon as my therapist okays it) and i'm super excited. don't worry about the cardio for now, just focus on your great mind-body yoga. do you go to a class or do you have a tape?

how was the doctor, by the way?

here's my update: i'm currently at 126 lbs. and (suprisingly!) feeling pretty okay with it. i feel a little fat and i'm TERRIFIED my weight is just gonna skyrocket up from here, but overall, i like the little extra meat (or lack of showing bones) that i see on my body. i'm suprised i don't hate it more, but i love that i actually don't mind it too much! now if i could just shake that fear of my weight going up indefinitely . . .

and to make you feel better about what you ate yesterday, here's what i ate so you can compare and see how much you really CAN eat:

Breakfast - oatmeal, mini muffin, yogurt
Snack - peach
Lunch - strawberry milk, sandwich, animal crackers, carrots, 2 mini Reese's cups
Snack - Quaker oat breakfast bar and applesauce
Dinner - 1/2 frozen pizza, Doritos, cottage cheese, carrots, 1-1/2 cups juice
Snack - Boost shake and a large coconut/chocolate heart (mmm)
Dessert - Brownie (with frosting! i made them and they're SO good!)

All in all that's a little over 3000 cals babe! So stick with eating as much as you feel comfortable with until you get a nutritionist . . . you won't gain weight! good luck.

LS289 02-03-2006 10:05 AM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
Honestly Joni, thank you so much for being so patient and so supportive of me during this transition. I really feel like you are giving me more of a healthy perspective.
The thing about yesterday is it was a VERY light day. I'd eat that on a normal occasion and probably be losing weight, so even though i guess I did well, it wasn't hard for me b/c I didn't overstep any boundaries (except maybe the frozen yogurt, but not really).
Surprisingly, your day sounded perfect/normal. I don't look at that and think "what a pig" or "that's a TON of food." It makes me so happy to picture your body getting all that food and nutrients b/c it's probably gobbling it all up. Now I need to start doing the same for my body.
Did you read my post "Does Recovery=Fat?" What do you think? Does it? Or can you still be thin once you recover...just not TOO thin?
Thanks again for answering all my questions and being so great...I hope I don't hinder you or screw up your perception in any way b/c you are doing the HEALTHY thing and, if anything, you should feel good about not being in the exact same place as me. And you are 126lbs which is still SO small!!!....You've got a long way to do I...

Jonistyle2 02-03-2006 11:54 AM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
let me check out your other post and i'll respond on there. thanks for the kind words! and yes, we both do still have a LONG way to go, but at least we're on the road there! :)

LS289 02-03-2006 12:22 PM

Re: Frozen yogurt...
See this is the problem- I post something about how I need to eat more and get healthy, and then as soon as I do that I feel HORRIBLE. It is only noon and already I have eaten so much...
I decided to bake cookies and frost them and of course nibbled throughout the whole process. Here is what I've had so far today:
BFST: luna bar, coffee with milk, few bites of a granola bar, raspberries with sugarfree jam
One bite of a rye cracker, 5 chocolate chips, few licks of cookie dough off the beaters, 1-2 tbs frosting (so fattening)
Lunch: Large fuji apple, sliced turkey, lowfat cottage cheese
I guess that's it - I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but I probably underestimated my snacking while I was baking because I'm really full right now and my stomach is killing for some reason.

I want to get healthy and be able to eat what I want, but at the same time I don't want to snack and eat like this by myself...but is this normal? Do I have to get used to doing this? I guess it's not normal to assume that everyone eats 3 meals, 2 snacks and only eats with other ppl...right??

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