It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

  • Coping with the Aftermath

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 03-06-2006, 10:24 AM   #1
    juicy*lucy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    juicy*lucy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: England
    Posts: 313
    juicy*lucy HB User
    Coping with the Aftermath

    Hey guys,

    I haven't been on these boards for a while but everyone here used to be great at giving support...I'm looking for a bit of that now...

    I've been recovering from another bout of bulimia for the last few months - doing pretty well but the ten years I've been ill for are taking their toll. Although I'm managing to keep my weight just about healthy (depending on whose BMI indox you use!) and although I'm doing my best to eat three meals a day most days, there are so many things wrong with me that must be as a result from my anorexia and bulimia, I guess I just want to know that other people are going through the same thing and coping with it. I'm always tired - only 21 but in bed by 9pm every weeknight, sleeping through til 7.30am and I'm still so tired all day. I'm getting a lot of muscle cramps in my legs at night too, which I think might be an electrolyte imbalance from the purging and starving...I've been getting these pains just under my rib cage (mostly my right-hand side) for the past 18 months too and have no idea what they are, and I'm dependent on laxatives at the moment too - I had one week (yes, a full 7 days) without a bowel movement even on laxatives, so I had to take stronger ones and spent half the weekend in the bathroom (yuk) and I've developed various food intolerances like wheat, garlic and orange juice. (unless it's freshly squeezed) It's all driving me mad!!

    I want to stay where I am, I don't want to relapse, but I'm getting fed up with all these health problems...And the worst thing is, they're all my fault anyway so I can't complain!! Anyone else have experience of this?

    Wishing you all the best,

    J*L xxx

    P.S. Anyone seen Sumi or Aurora around lately?

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 03-06-2006, 12:37 PM   #2
    Natalie00
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Location: The Heartland
    Posts: 805
    Natalie00 HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    First of all, they aren't your "fault" so you have to stop thinking that way. You may have consciously decided to become bulimic, but after a while the disorder took over and you were no longer in control. BUT you took back that control and are recovering so you should be SO PROUD!! I have been recovered from bulimia for around 5 months now after 9 years of being bulimic.

    Well...let me tell you about all the health problems I have had as a result of my bulimia: (I am 22 years old)

    At age 15, after 2 years of being bulimic, I developed severe acid reflux disease because of all the vomiting. The acide started going into my lungs, aggrevating my asthma. I was very ill and was coughing my head off for over a year, had to be on steroids, antibiotics, ect.

    At age 16 I develope severe chronic sinus infections, probably caused by the bulimia. I don't mean to sound graphic, but sometime when I vomitied it would come out my nose. I am sure this caused the sinus infections.
    I had to have surgery to correct the problems at age 17. I am once again having sinus problems.

    I developed severe insomnia. Depression.

    I developed IBS.

    About a year and half ago, I developed mono. The months prior my bulimia was out of control, I was b/p 4X a day sometimes. Never ate inbetween binges. Well, I never got over the mono, and now I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have to take about 20 different vitamins/pills a day, I barely have the energy to leave the house most of the time.

    I developed thyroid problems, also, and hormonal imbalances.

    I know all about the consequences of bulimia, and am living with the worst of them right now. But I do not blame myself-I tried to stop the bulimia time and time again but couldn't, it just took over. I am just fortunate that I have been able to stop now.

    I hope anyone else reading this will get....well, scared....and understand that you could have a lifetime of health problems as a result of an ED.

    Last edited by Natalie00; 03-06-2006 at 12:38 PM.

     
    Old 03-07-2006, 02:30 AM   #3
    juicy*lucy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    juicy*lucy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: England
    Posts: 313
    juicy*lucy HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hi Natalie,

    Thanks for your reply. I'm really sorry you're having to go through all that, but it's nice to know you're not alone in your suffering. I try not to think of things being my fault - my sister had cancer which really wasn't her fault, so I guess I just think of my ED being brought on by me because it's a mental disorder. I'm trying to be more positive towards myself these days though, because I figure being so negative about myself 24/7 really can't be any good for me.

    I think one of the main problems I have is that I don't want to go to the doctors to get diagnosed for anything. I've never felt as though I've been a 'good enough' anoretic or bulimic; I could've weighed a lot less, I could've properly binged rather than the mini binges I did; I could've been really ill. I've never been hospitalised and never really had any therapy either. I'm scared of being told that the ED is all in my head, that I never really had one - this is what my first therapist told me and it made me feel so bad about myself, like I couldn't even do anorexia right, let alone anything worthwhile.

    Because I've never been diagnosed with anything - like chronic fatigue syndrome or IBS - I don't know if that's what I really have and even if it is, if there's anything I can do about it. The illnesses we develop from our eating disorders seem to be a bit like our EDs themselves - in my case that means that they're enough to stress me out and make me think about them all the time, but not bad enough to hospitalise me or make me go to the doctor. The other thing I should say is my ED has a BIG stigma in my house - I'm ashamed to have been anorexic , bulimic, depressed, harming myself...I'm too ashamed to say to my mum: I'm ill, it's all because of the ED, I don't need a lecture but I do need to get some help. I can't do it.

    Have you had therapy and medical intervention? I just wonder because I don't know anyone who's got better on their own and I'm starting to doubt whether I can....

    Hugs,

    J*L xxx

     
    Old 03-07-2006, 08:14 PM   #4
    Natalie00
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Location: The Heartland
    Posts: 805
    Natalie00 HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    I had very little therapy, and that was a a year and a half before I recovered. It never helped me, but it does wonders for other people. It saves some peoples' lives', but for me it seemed to make things worse. So I tried and tried to stop my bulimia, had a lot of slip up in the beginning, and then eventually stopped altogether. I will be happily celebrating my sixth month of being bulimia free in April (alone, as none one knows when I stopped! I sometimes wonder if my mom still thinks I am doing it, but I think she can see that I am not. I haven't discussed my recovery with anyone except on these boards). So I guess you could say I stopped on my own, but that it is unrealistic to think that most people can.

    You definitely need to see a doctor for a complete blood workup and an EKG.
    Don't wait until you develope a serious complication!

     
    Old 03-07-2006, 08:41 PM   #5
    texascowgirl8
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    texascowgirl8's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: Dallas, Texas
    Posts: 288
    texascowgirl8 HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    juicy-

    Natalie sent me over here to read her post on everything that she has dealt with because of the eating disorder. and i read that and then i read what you had said right after. what you said sounds just like me. im scared that people will say that it is all in my head. that nothing is really wrong, that im not sick enough. and telling your mom that the reasons why you are the way you are is because of this eating disorder. but i have come to realize that this isnt something i chose. that this too is just like cancer- people do not choose to have cancer. but just like you i cannot bring myself to talk to my mom and tell her all the things i go through and how much in pain i am in. and reading your post made it sound like half of those things were taken out of my head and you said them. it was very strange let me tell ya!

    but i do congratulate you on trying to recover on your own and doing the things you are doing. it takes a strong person!

     
    Old 03-08-2006, 12:56 AM   #6
    juicy*lucy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    juicy*lucy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: England
    Posts: 313
    juicy*lucy HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hey,

    First of all, thanks to you both for your replies. It's nice that I can still come on here and get support, even though I haven't been on them for a long time, so thanks

    Natalie - congratulations on your six month milestone! That is a FANTASTIC achievement and one I hope you're really proud of. Beating bulimia is so hard, even I still have my slip-ups (like this morning) and the anorexia for me was always way more of a problem, so, honestly, well done on getting that far. Especially on your own.

    Also, please excuse my naivety, but what is an EKG, and what kinda tests will they do if I go? I'm also absolutely terrified of blood tests, I've never had one done before and I think I'd be likely to pass out, I have low blood pressure/sugar and am very squeamish about veins and things, I don't know if I could cope (another reason why I haven't been to the doctor.) The last time I went to my doctor she referred me back to the mental health team but I cancelled my appointment so, again, another reason why I'm worried about going back...

    Texas - isn't it strange how sometimes you can read a post on here and it's like, that's exactly what I was thinking! I hope these boards are helping you, it's hard when you don't feel you can talk to parents or professionals for fear of being judged. I have to tell you though, we're not delusional - it's not like we want something to be wrong with us, we haven't made anything up about what we're going through. It's only an incompetent professional who will tell you you don't have a problem when you clearly do. My doctor wrote a letter of complaint about the therapist I saw - she didn't know what she was talking about. Unfortunately a lot of professionals don't understand EDs, but, like Natalie said, if you find a good one, they can save your life.

    I hope you're both doing well. I'm wondering how I'll ever be able to eat normally if my digestive system stays as ****ed up as it is right now??!?!?!

    J*L xxx

     
    Old 03-08-2006, 01:46 PM   #7
    Natalie00
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Location: The Heartland
    Posts: 805
    Natalie00 HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hey Juicy
    An EKG is PAINLESS and involves no needles. It is to see how your heart is working, and check for abnormal heart rhythms. It is basically the same thing as an sonogram (where you can see the baby in the womb), they take a little "wand" and press it against your chest and they can see your heart pumping. It is pretty cool! I also had a 24-hour heart monitor done where they attach little sticky things to your chest with wires attached, and they hook into a little box (about the size of 2 cell phones) and you wear it for one full day. It records all your heart beats. I found out that I have something called Mitral Valve Prolapse this way, a benign condition that can cause some minor chest pain and heart flutters (which was very good for me to find out because I was convinced I was having heart failure due to my bulimia).

    And PLEASE....don't be afraid of needles. So many people are, AND IT DOES NOT HURT. Stubbing your big toe or a bee sting hurts more than getting a teeny tiny needle put into your arm. I have had a lot of IV's and they hurt a bit, but now that I have had IV's getting blood drawn doesn't even make me flinch. We build these things up so much in our minds that we think getting a shot or a needle put in us is going to hurt like heck, but it doesn't.

    If you get a serious illness because you were too afraid to get a simple blood test, then in the future you will have to have a lot of painful tests run-so it is better just to prevent disease then to let it develope and pay the painful consequences later.

    About your digestive system: It WILL stay messed up as long as your are purging. Also, binging is terrible on the stomache, it stresses it out so much. All that b/p makes your digestive system over-react and spasm; once you stop b/p, your stomache will get better. You may eventually need to be treated with some anti-spasmatics. There is a supplement called ACIDOPHILUS that is wonderful for digestive health. You can get it at the drugstore. Yogurt also had acidophilus in it and I take 4 citracel (bulk forming fiber supplement) a day.

     
    Old 03-09-2006, 09:20 AM   #8
    juicy*lucy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    juicy*lucy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: England
    Posts: 313
    juicy*lucy HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hi Natalie,

    Thanks for explaining an EKG, that's really helped. Maybe I'll book in for one, it sounds like a good idea whether it comes up as fine or not. It might help to identify stuff and why it's causing me problems.

    The needles thing...it's not the pain that bothers me, it's the fact that I'm very squeamish about the insides of my arms. I was the kid who always fainted in biology lessons! I will think about it seriously, perhaps if anything comes from the EKG I'll work up the courage!! I agree with you though, not doing it could mean I have to go through much worse later on, I just hope that nothing is bad enough to need treatment.

    I talked to my Mum last night. She always listens but I also feel really guilty for putting stuff on her, like she's got enough to deal with without having to think about me, and I should be able to look after myself. Some things are so embarrassing, like the digestive system thing...it's so horrible to talk about!! But I've eaten well today, really healthy stuff, so at least I feel better for that. I don't binge at all, I used to do mini binges where I'd have like 100 or 200 calories made up from a bite here, a spoonful there...but I never did the proper bingeing thing. I know that until I treat my body well I'm not going to get better, but it's so damn hard!

    I hope you're doing okay. Thanks for all your advice.

    J*L xxx

     
    Old 03-10-2006, 02:07 PM   #9
    Traumatized
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Traumatized's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 104
    Traumatized HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Dear all,
    I wish people mentioned the aftermaths a bit more....®
    I would like to thank you Natalie for your post of advice about 3 weeks ago. It is really great, i have it printed out and ready.
    I haven't posted since as I have been struggling with my own aftermaths so thanks for bringing this topic up juicylucy. After 13 years of diehard bulimia and being underweight, my body has had it. The whole things has snowballed on me after some oral surgery gone wrong. I realise that the bulimia just contributed to my wisdom teeth extractions going bad. I have been blaming everything on my teeth but deep down inside I know it is the bulimia. Despite the physical problems, I am having difficulties with finding the strength to stop. I am reading a book and your suggestions Natalie but I feel so vulnerable atm.
    Two weeks ago, I was sick like a dog...I have been turning into a tanned colour after b and p for about a year now. Well, two weeks ago I thought it was all over when I went brown, couldn't eat without side effects and severe abdominal and back pain. Prior to the "attack" I had had back pain for weeks. My heart was thumping away and I have been having frequent spells of quite severe arrythmia. My limbs went numb and I had a fever. My eyes ached and went yellow pink. I thought I wouldn't wake up the next day so I phoned home in case. It is clear to me that some thing(s) as in organs, are not working properlly anymore. The back pain won't go away. I have the lung problems you mentioned Natalie and I find it so debilitating when I do the only sport that I love, cycling. I have a horrific cough whenever I eat or drink anything. I have a constant metal taste in my mouth which I have read can be connected to kidney problems. Plus the itchy skin symptom suggesting liver or kidney problems. I have a weakened capillary above my temple in my hairline that freaks me out sometimes because it is like a sharp bump and I worry about it popping under pressure when purging. My head pressure is totally screwed up because of what you mentioned Natalie about the sinus problems. I often smell ammonia which is either kidney or liver related again. I use to smell that often when I was very underweight so that also concerns me because I am not severely underweight but I am totally wasted from doing this for 13 years.
    My doctor is stumped thanks to my being too embarrassed to admit my addiction to him. All of my blood tests have come back within norms and my ECG was normal despite all of the above symptoms I had and have been having recently. I am concerned that the dr. does not know what possible problems to look for. The dr who knows about the proble doesn't seem to know what to look for anyway so it took my trust in drs away and I don't feel good about confessing to another dr. especially since I keep blaming my scrawniness on the hyperthyroid problems that are in my family. I admit, I am in a mess and I am the one that created it. One keeps pushing their body thinking nothing will ever happen to it or that it hasn't been that long yet so who cares. I have kept delaying getting out of the whole mess while I was still "healthy" and could prevent some of the damage that may be irreversible now. It feels like I am in such a hole now that rather than trying to get out of it, I feel more hopeless and like digging an even deeper one.
    I hope more people share their stories about the aftermaths to help those who are at the beginning or at any stage of the ED to think about what they are doing to their bodies and why. Is it worth it? One day, it may just be too late to wish you had tried to get help earlier.
    Take care, stay strong and fight

     
    Old 03-10-2006, 05:56 PM   #10
    Natalie00
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Location: The Heartland
    Posts: 805
    Natalie00 HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Traumatized
    Dear all,
    I wish people mentioned the aftermaths a bit more....®
    I would like to thank you Natalie for your post of advice about 3 weeks ago. It is really great, i have it printed out and ready.
    I haven't posted since as I have been struggling with my own aftermaths so thanks for bringing this topic up juicylucy. After 13 years of diehard bulimia and being underweight, my body has had it. The whole things has snowballed on me after some oral surgery gone wrong. I realise that the bulimia just contributed to my wisdom teeth extractions going bad. I have been blaming everything on my teeth but deep down inside I know it is the bulimia. Despite the physical problems, I am having difficulties with finding the strength to stop. I am reading a book and your suggestions Natalie but I feel so vulnerable atm.
    Two weeks ago, I was sick like a dog...I have been turning into a tanned colour after b and p for about a year now. Well, two weeks ago I thought it was all over when I went brown, couldn't eat without side effects and severe abdominal and back pain. Prior to the "attack" I had had back pain for weeks. My heart was thumping away and I have been having frequent spells of quite severe arrythmia. My limbs went numb and I had a fever. My eyes ached and went yellow pink. I thought I wouldn't wake up the next day so I phoned home in case. It is clear to me that some thing(s) as in organs, are not working properlly anymore. The back pain won't go away. I have the lung problems you mentioned Natalie and I find it so debilitating when I do the only sport that I love, cycling. I have a horrific cough whenever I eat or drink anything. I have a constant metal taste in my mouth which I have read can be connected to kidney problems. Plus the itchy skin symptom suggesting liver or kidney problems. I have a weakened capillary above my temple in my hairline that freaks me out sometimes because it is like a sharp bump and I worry about it popping under pressure when purging. My head pressure is totally screwed up because of what you mentioned Natalie about the sinus problems. I often smell ammonia which is either kidney or liver related again. I use to smell that often when I was very underweight so that also concerns me because I am not severely underweight but I am totally wasted from doing this for 13 years.
    My doctor is stumped thanks to my being too embarrassed to admit my addiction to him. All of my blood tests have come back within norms and my ECG was normal despite all of the above symptoms I had and have been having recently. I am concerned that the dr. does not know what possible problems to look for. The dr who knows about the proble doesn't seem to know what to look for anyway so it took my trust in drs away and I don't feel good about confessing to another dr. especially since I keep blaming my scrawniness on the hyperthyroid problems that are in my family. I admit, I am in a mess and I am the one that created it. One keeps pushing their body thinking nothing will ever happen to it or that it hasn't been that long yet so who cares. I have kept delaying getting out of the whole mess while I was still "healthy" and could prevent some of the damage that may be irreversible now. It feels like I am in such a hole now that rather than trying to get out of it, I feel more hopeless and like digging an even deeper one.
    I hope more people share their stories about the aftermaths to help those who are at the beginning or at any stage of the ED to think about what they are doing to their bodies and why. Is it worth it? One day, it may just be too late to wish you had tried to get help earlier.
    Take care, stay strong and fight
    Trauma-

    I am so glad to hear from you, despite that it isn't under the best of circumstances. I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now. I hope that all the bulimics on these boards will read your story and they will stop and think about the very REAL and HORRIFIC health effects you can develope as a result of bulimia.

    First of all, WHY are so you so afraid to admit your ED to your doctor?? What are you afraid of?? Judgement?? Embarrassment? Or does admitting to and talking about your ED outloud make it "too real" for you??
    Let me tell you- I have THE BEST doctor. He is like a good friend. But I could never tell him about my ED until a year ago...can you believe that?? I would never admit to it when other doctors (specialists) asked if I have/had an ED. I would lie and say no. Why the heck did I do that?? It was sooo stupid. So finally I got up the courage and told ONE doctor about 3 years ago, and guess what happened?? Nothing bad.....something good, actually!! He told me he would run more blood tests that were necessary since I was bulimic (I don't remember what those blood tests were...sorry) He did NOT judge me. He didn't even discuss it with me for more than 20 seconds...he just ran the tests necessary. After that, I started telling ALL my doctors because they can't completely help you if they don't know what is going on!!

    About your lung problems...do you have asthma or acid reflux?? I am positive you have reflux. When I was 14, I started having CONSTANT breathing problems, coughing up phelm all day long, ect, and because I never told my doctors that I was bulimic, they never thought it could be acid reflux and I did not get treated for my reflux for years. I suffered for years with not being able to breathe because I woud not speak the word "I am bulimic"...what a waste!! I was big into showing horses at the time and I had to give that up because of my breathing problems. After I got about 75% better, when I went back to showing, I was never able to perform the same because acid reflux never really goes away...purging losen the muscle (I can't think of the name) at the end of your esophagus that keeps the acid from coming up. So that damage is done. I am not puring anymore, and I am STILL having constant acid reflux, but it does not seem to effect my breathing nearly as much anymore (only at night time, I have to use a special pillow to prop myself up to keep the acid from coming up).

    A word about blood tests: You can still have a problem and test within the normal range! Did you get your bloodwork back?? What level was your potassium and sodium at (can you give me the lab ranges too?)

    What kind of EKG did you have done?? The quick one that takes like 2 minutes or the comprehensive one that takes 15-20?? You need to be referred to a cardiologist ASAP you would NOT be having these heart symptoms if nothing was wrong. I had the quick EKG done first and it was normal, but I was having symptoms, so I went to a cardiologist and had the comprehenisve ond done and the 24 hour heart halter and I found out I had
    Mitral Valve Prolapse, which is a benign condition thank god BUT it does explain the chest pains I get sometimes. If I never found out about the MVP, I would still be thinking I was having heart failure or something and worrying over nothing.
    If you are symptomatic, take action: it doesn't matter if your one EKG was normal, arrhythmias are NOT normal and can kill you. The quick EKG and even the longer one can't always detect arrhythmias because you probably aren't having them all the time. Get to a cardiologist ASAP and get a 24 hour heart halter test where you wear the little machine for 24 hours. It will be much more effective to detect a problem as it records your heartbeats for a full 24 hours.

    And please, please, please tell the cardiologist that you are bulimic. You CAN do it.

    Also, please see some sort of internist about your kindney problems. I am not sure what kind of doctor deals with that, but you need a whole team of specialists, not just your family doctor. Your health care need have gone way beyond what a family doctor can handle. Start calling your doctor and get a bunch of referrals to specialists beause the sooner you take action the better.

    And I am really happy to hear that my previous post helped you. I have been wondering lately if my being on these boards is doing any actual good-and I was also wondering if it would be better if I didn't post so much, because posting in a way keeps me "connected" the world of ED's and my ED.
    But if I can help even 1 person a little bit, it will be worth it.

    Let me know how it all turns out.

    Best wishes,
    Natalie

    Last edited by Natalie00; 03-10-2006 at 06:09 PM.

     
    Old 03-10-2006, 10:34 PM   #11
    Traumatized
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Traumatized's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 104
    Traumatized HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hello,
    Thanx Natalie You are an encouragement. When one has been in this mess for so long, you start to wonder if there is any way and people like you who have "made it" are what encourages those who feel hopeless. My first recovery from anorexia was short term success but what I found helped me at that time was helping out a friend who was one her own road to hell. Then I moved to Europe and living in solitude just brought everything back.

    Anyway, the GP I trusted has known about the problem for about 2 years. I told him openly...I am bulimic, he thought it was passť or sth and didn't take it seriously. I said again...No, really, I am an active bulimic that wishes she could say it was all behind her. He got the message but didn't do anything about it. When I called him for help last summer and a month ago, he told me it was all psychosomatic and brushed me off to go and see a shrink. It really knocked me down and I felt completely hopeless and still do because it took a lot of courage to tell him the truth and then he just acknowledges the mental aspects of it and not the physical. So, I lost my trust in doctors. I know it is foolish but that is that. I ended up at the ENT emerge nearby because of looking like I had the mumps. It has been going on since my bad dental work about a year ago and one day when my parotids were huge and putting a lot of pressure on my head and ears I went to the ENt but didn't mention the bulimia. I am ashamed of myself. The ENT was concerned and sinice then I have had a submandibular and parotid gland biopsy with zero results. Then I was sent to the internist and I just couldn't feel comfortable enough with him to confide in him. He sent me to the immunologist hoping that all of the back pain, joint and muscle pain, gland swelling etc... were the result of some sort of progressed immune disorder and so did I of course. Then I showed up at his emerge one day with a rigid abdomen and even more severe back pain and I thought he would guess the problem and make it easier for me but so far he hasn't been able to. He sent me home saying everything is ok and that my blood tests are within range. The results I have from the summer showed my pot and sod in good condition and he never gave me a print out of the most recent ones. He mumbled something about my sedimentation rate being elevated and that was it. My amylases are usually slightly out of range. My serum amylase is often off the charts and then the urine amylase is often elevated. My ALP is a new addition to the elevated group but it is so slight that he is not concerned. My body is a mess and I know that I have to be honest with the doctor but when I think back to all of the discussions we have had, it is too embarrassing. I would much rather find a new one and start fresh but the health system is a bit complex around here. Why does it take so much courage? If I were still in NA, I would feel different about it. I know where to go there and it is more open minded in NA. Here, central Europe, EDs are not acknowledged, it is just another scrawny girl......nobody talks about these things and the drs are not even prepared for it. This makes it even more difficult to come out in the open about it and my experience with my GP is common around here. I even told my dentist and asked him to help with saving my teeth from severe complications. He didn't know what to do, he ignored my confession as if the whole thing was too uncomfortable for him. So, I changed dentists and tried again and got the same reaction. So, I have changed again and now I have a very understanding, modern thinking dentist so I may find the courage to tell him but it won't be so easy after the previous two experiences. The last few months have really put me off of things. WHen I was ready to do something about it all I was shooed away. Really frustrating and for someone with an ED and little self-confidence, it is destructive.

    I had better be going, have work to do. Work is the only thing that keeps me out of trouble.

    Take care,
    Thanks for reading.
    Stay strong.......you are an encouragement

    Last edited by Traumatized; 03-10-2006 at 10:42 PM.

     
    Old 03-11-2006, 02:18 PM   #12
    Natalie00
    Inactive
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2005
    Location: The Heartland
    Posts: 805
    Natalie00 HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hey Trauma-
    I had no idea you lived in Europe. It must be so frustrating for you to try and get help from doctors and get the brush off instead. I suppose ED's are so rampant in the US that doctors are much more proactive in their approach to treating them. I do not think that you would be getting this kind of treatment from a doctor in the US. I mean, it is basic medical knowledge that bulimia and anorexia can wreck total havoc apon a body. It sounds as if your body is completely shutting down and I am so worried for you!

    An elevated sed. rate is NOT normal. Your other results that were elevated are abnormal, too. Your doctor is being negligent to you. Is there any way you can get a new doctor?? Maybe try and find a female one, as I have found that they are usually more understanding about ED's. Are there any ED clinics or specialists around?? I think a place like that would benefit you immensely. Even checking into an inpatient treatment for a couple weeks could do wonders for you, because they could run all the blood tests over again while you were there. Even if you have to travel to find a good clinic or hosptial, if you have the resources to do so, I think it is necessary in your situation.

    Hang in there!
    Natalie

    Last edited by Natalie00; 03-11-2006 at 02:20 PM.

     
    Old 03-14-2006, 04:18 AM   #13
    juicy*lucy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    juicy*lucy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: England
    Posts: 313
    juicy*lucy HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Hi Traumatized and Natalie,

    Firstly, Traumatized - you're so right, people don't pay enough attention to the aftermath. You're not so ill as you once were, you're trying to get better maybe, but if you've screwed around with your body for as long as we have there's always going to be some sort of comeback. It's hellish and I'm sure we've all thought at some point that we'd rather be ill again, just forget about everything good we've been working towards and step back into the mirror. BUT that's the coward's way out, I've decided. It's far more difficult to stay and fight than it is to leave half-way through just because the going gets a little tough. It seems to me there are two options: give up (been there, done that) or think what the hell, I've got this far and things can only get better. Believe in it enough, treat your body well, feed it good food and you may not be able to undo everything, but we can damn well try. Stay strong!

    Natalie - I really appreciate your support and how much you support EVERYONE on this site. You are one of the people who gives others hope that living is better than dying.

    I'm working up the courage to get an EKG done! Fingers crossed!!

    J*L

     
    Old 03-14-2006, 03:42 PM   #14
    eminemworshipper
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    eminemworshipper's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2001
    Location: Cloud 9!:)
    Posts: 949
    eminemworshipper HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    hey...just on my way to bed so very quick- didnt have time to completely read through your post but wanted to say a hUUUUggeee 'hellooo' - has been a long time since I saw u last xxxxxCaroline

     
    Old 03-15-2006, 10:22 AM   #15
    Traumatized
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Traumatized's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2005
    Posts: 104
    Traumatized HB User
    Re: Coping with the Aftermath

    Dear all again,

    Thanks for everyone's feedback.
    I have just been to my dentist today to patch some damage up. I have finally found a dentist that I feel comfortable with and will admit the whole problem to when the assistant won't be around. I actually feel more comfortable with males than females...strange.
    Otherwise, I am getting a Isotop scan done to find out whether or not I have managed to screw my up with B and P following tooth extraction while having strep and staph in my body. That should help sort one side of the aftermath out.
    The next battle is to find a good internist who will help sort some of the internal mess out. I find that there is so much fussing about anorexics....I was one too once a long time ago...but I have to say I felt a lot healthier back then skin and bone than I do now and yet the minute I walked into the hospital, they wouldn't let me go home because they were afraid I would have sudden death. Well, just because I am 30 lbs heavier, doesn't mean a thing. I think that I am more unstable now than I was before. The side affects of bulimie are underestimated and overshadowed by the more obvious symptoms of anorexia. The whole thing annoys me. The only in-patient program is for those who have a BMI of less than 16 and the rest can go and stuff it. I was refused help...and when I asked for an internist who has experience with people with EDs, I was told that it isn't possible, that the internists they know and use, are limited to the in-patient program. What a load of crock. I was so infuriated by this and I have to admit, it actually made me give up the fight again. I am really angry at myself for losing the motivation to find help and start working on my b and p. Reading people's posts here in some way motivates me to try harder and not give in to the dreadful side effects and think "who cares, it is too late anyway, I may as well be dead." I am struck with these thoughts often when the pain gets excruciating. I have told my family to pull the plug if I ever end up like a vegetable like (I forget her name, she was in a comma for years as a result of her bulimia and they finally pulled the plug).
    I think that more needs to be done about bulimia and not just anorexia. To say that the Romans and Greeks did it and survived is a lame excues for the medical world to be passive about it. Bulmia is not a passing fancy...it becomes a deadly addiction to food spun in a web of self-hatred. Unfortunately, it is not so clear physically, that someone has bulimia until their salivary glands start to act up, their teeth start to rot (but you don't have to smile at your GP so he never finds out anyway)...simply, no one can see it. My glands started acting up finally after 8 years. For the last two years, I feel like everybody can tell I am bulimic if they know the gland symptoms. I was on holiday in Venice, having dinner and I really had to go and wee between the starter and the main course. There was a group of Americans there and I could hear the girls telling their mates about how my salivary glands were swollen as if I had bulimia. Well......one followed me up to the bathroom. I came out of the stall and she was standing there in front of the mirror pretending to adjust her hair, and she had the nerve to say "Are you alright??? I thought I heard you being sick in there??" I said sorry...no such thing. She said "Are you sure?? It didn't sound so good in there." I didn't purge, I just weeeeed and the girl knew I was bulimic. I was traumatized. I was so upset that I didn't talk for the rest of the evening and just wanted to cry. My bf at the time couldn't understand what was going on. He only knew about my anorexia because I feel great shame in being bulimic to admit it to anyone. I couldn't sleep and ran out of the hotel at midnight to be alone and cry. It dawned on me that it was officially un-disguisable that I am bulimic. My bf and I broke up after because he thought all of the aftermath symptoms were in my head...but I wasn't honest with him to say where they were all really coming from.
    Anyway, EDs, whether it be anorexia or bulima, or fatal and destroy your entire life.
    Sorry for rambling. Needed to get a little of my chest.
    Take care all. You are all in my thoughts

    Last edited by Traumatized; 03-15-2006 at 10:28 AM.

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    what are the aftermath of a thyroidectomy? tonydevera Thyroid Disorders 2 12-16-2007 03:20 PM
    The Aftermath of Proactive geneva10 Acne 6 07-25-2007 02:25 PM
    Aftermath of a Panic Attack Inferit Anxiety 2 09-18-2006 08:36 AM
    The rejection, the aftermath and what to do now? (Long story, sorry) RogueFoxUK Relationship Health 23 04-13-2006 11:57 AM
    Adult ADD coping skills addprogrammer ADD / ADHD 0 05-14-2005 07:22 AM
    All out of coping mechanisms. What's left to live for? JWilson43 Depression 4 12-26-2004 10:45 AM
    Weird ringworm aftermath. Help PLZ! whoracle Skin Problems 1 02-04-2004 09:58 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:36 AM.





    © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!