i'm back...gaining weight....and recovering??

03-11-2003, 03:26 PM

Well girls...I'm back. I haven't been on in over 2 months I think. Why? Well I went inpatient to treat my anorexia. Was there for 6 weeks. But I must confess I did poorly. Sure I gained a little weight but I was still able to restrict by hiding food and throwing food away. Yes...even in front of all the fellow ED patients and staff members. Basically everone descided that place wasn't good enough for me (even though it has one of the highest success rates in the country) and so I was transferred to another facility. I stayed a 1 day there and then went home because I hated it. So...I'm home now. Gaining weight, feeling fatter than ever (oh wait...cause I AM!) and contimplating if I'm really recovering or not. Anyone have advice. I feel like I either have to love my eating disorder or I have to hate it. Shoot. I've come along way, don't get me wrong. I've figured out a lot of the underlying issues on to why I have my ed, but bottom line is...I don't know if I'm ready to recover 'cause it's so SCARY!!!!

-Carlie

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"Today doesn't have to be perfect, but there's no reason why tomorrow can't be."

03-11-2003, 08:48 PM

Hi, Carlie!

WELCOME BACK!!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

I figured you had gone inpatient for a while - and I'm glad you did!

I don't think you're "fatter", only healthier. You were WAY too underweight before and it was dangerous. It's so good that you have managed to put on at least a little weight.

What is it about recovery that is so increadibly scary to you?

I'm really happy for you, Carlie - you HAVE come a long way and it's awesome! Congratulations.

Take care of yourself okay?

Ashlee

03-12-2003, 06:47 PM

CARLIE!!

hi sweetheart!!! Soooo glad to hear from you, I've been thinking about you a lot lately! In fact, most days I check the boards just to see if you had posted (my life has been crazy lately and I haven't had much time to come around). I figured you had gone in-patient...I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped.

Ashlee is right, though, i'm sure you're not "fatter" just healthier.

Recovery is a tricky thing. It takes a while...but you'll get there, sweetie, you just have to get through all the bad stuff first. But I believe in you sooooo fully!!

You're an amazing person, and I'm so glad to hear from you!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

i'm back...gaining weight....and recovering??

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