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mi2082 03-20-2003 05:52 PM

food is stuck in my body and theres nothing I can do about it
this is my 3rd post already.I am a bulimic/anorexic-
I hate myself so much when I binge eat.yesterday after I binged I made myself vomit for 40 minutes-until there was nothing left,until I was I binged twice and both times I tried to throw up as I normally would but It just wouldn't come up.So right now all this this food is stuck in body and there is nothing I can do about-this is torcher for a bulimic-I am dying right now-when is this gonna stop!I just want to be normal!help

l8again 03-21-2003 11:58 AM

mi - I do not have any good solutions for you. I just want you to know that I will pray for you and the bad feelings you are having to go away. I just want you to know that I am listening to you. I had a friend in highschool that was the same way you are now. (I am 29 years old) She is a lot better now. She started to eat healthy foods and exercise. She also had me as a friend who would know when she was purging. I helped her get away from the junk food that made her feel bad. We would make up dance skits and cheer skits just to keep her mind off of food. How old are you?????

KatJ 03-21-2003 05:25 PM

hi, this is really weird, because I feel the exact same way as you do right now!!! I am a bulimic, and I just ate a ton of food, but I cannot get it up! It is such a awful feeling!!! I just want to stop this, but then I keep doing it...for some reason the food won't come up today and I am sooooooooooooooo sick!!! I don't even want to think about how many calories are in my body right now!!!!

youneeak 03-23-2003 07:44 AM

Hi hon,

First of all, I'm so sorry that you've begun to experience this. How long have you been purging? I'm sure it's been a while if your body is trapping the food. Please know this does not make you happens to everybody. Once you
begin purging, and purging and purging, your body eventually gets to a poitn where it can not longer handle the food being thrown it becomes a defense mechanism and traps the food inside. I don't know the biological reasons, but I know it happens.

Good luck, hon. Lots of hugs!!
((((((((((( :angel: )))))))))))))


chick4u 03-26-2003 10:36 AM

Hello, I was just wanting to tell you something and I'm not being rude just saying in case you take it that way. You are harming your esophagus your burning it with acid from your stomache everytime you throw us it is very dangerous im studying this in A&P but I guess its none of my buisness but if you keep on doing this to yourself your not going to have an esophagus for any of your food to go down so that you can throw it up... so would you rather eat healthy and excercise and not haft to worry about all the fat that wont come up or be in the hospital on a IV with no life because you have no esophagus left?? If I had a eating disorder I would rather be a ana that way I wouldn't haft to worry about burning anything with the acids in my stomach nut hey its your life harm yourself if you please!

Ashlee 03-27-2003 12:38 AM

Chick4U, I wouldn't say, "Harm yourself 'if you please'" would be the best way to put it... Do you think bulimics WANT to have to do this to themselves? :(

Faith80 03-27-2003 12:07 PM

when I was bulimic I also had these same problems; basically, your gag reflex refuses to work; as others said, your body is trying to tell you something, I think it's time you listen. I know it's hard and I know what torture it is to have food "sitting" in your body and you feeling you're getting "fatter" each minute, but the fact is, you're probaly not. So, instead of freaking, go and do something so you don't think about it, I promise, it'll get easier with time.
Take Care.

As long as there is life, there is hope

josiegrossie 03-27-2003 01:49 PM

hi, this is weird, I don't look much at this site cause I'm recovering from bulimia and try to not expose myself to the thoughts. But I had an experience that I wanted to share with other people struggling and I happened to open up this site and this thread was at the top.

I've been in recovery for two years. I struggle with relapsing, overexercising, etc. I exercise daily and have one rest day a week. My rest day is always filled with tremendous anxiety cause I feel I have all this food in my body and its just sitting there. I hate rest days cause they are normally the days I struggle the most with thoughts of binging/purging.

Well, yesterday, knowing Thursday would be my rest day, I decided to pray about it. I asked God to let me just have one rest day to not worry about the food.

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, went to yoga, worked, ate lunch, worked, and just now, realized I have not had one anxious thought today about the food I've been eating. I feel normal. I know what you're going through, mi. You'll get there. It takes time, persistence, and forgiveness. I've relapsed many times. The best thing for me to do when this happens is first forgive myself, and prepare to conqueor your next attack. You can do this!

youneeak 03-27-2003 06:08 PM

Hi all,

First of all, Chick4U, I know it's hard to understand why someone would continue to harm themselves this way. But the truth is that lots of people who struggle with bulimia KNOW what they are doing to themselves. They know the factors and they know what they are doing to their esophagus (sp?) as well as other organs. But Ashlee is right, people with Bulimia generally do NOT want to have bulimia. They don't want to hurt themselves. It's a disorder of the mind as much as of the body. And also, I know Faith had posted several posts about this a few weeks ago...but whichever ED you are struggling with, there are often thought of "I would rather have anorexia/bulimia, because..." but the truth is that neither ED is good, both cause unbelievable amounts of physical and emotional pain. And neither is "safer" than the other. :(

Also--- josie, CONGRATS on not having any negative or anxiety-related thoughts! :bouncing: I'm so happy for you! That's amazing, and so wonderful! years in recovery?? I can't wait to say I've been there that long. I'm still working on 2 months right now, I hope you realize that you have an inner-strength that many of us are striving for! Congrats and good luck!!! :D Thanks for posting! Your post made me smile (after an otherwise incredibly horrible day!)

NEVER GIVE UP :bouncing:

chick4u 03-28-2003 10:39 AM

Im sorry..I guess I understand now. Im just worried about people with bulima. Sorry about what I said.

fedupmom2470 03-28-2003 11:31 AM

Its nice to know that someone is studying up on ED's but as much as you say we should know what were doing to our bodies...beleive me we do. For me this behavior is an addiction much like you're typical junkie needs a fix, its the same for me. A vicious cycle of eating and then feeling like sh*t because i did. Currently I am managing by walking every night after dinner with my husband or daughter. If i can get out and walk then it replaces the urge to purge for me. There are times when my family would rather not go with me but they know its either walk or deal with my negative feelings about eating.I have trouble at work though because some of my work mates know my history and keep an eye on me making sure i dont purge after lunch. The sad thing is I was really only heavily bulemic for a year and its still something i struggle with daily. I cant imagine how hard it must be for those who have lived with it for longer time periods. I have been in partial recovery for about 2 1/2 years but it is a daily struggle. Someone who has never walked in our shoes could not possibly understand.

SaraTherese 04-02-2003 02:04 AM

I know you already apologized for your comments, but seriously, you need to reconsider before posting something about a subject you do not understand, or only know about because you have read some material about it. Did you really think you were telling bulimics something new by informing them it harms their esopahogus? THANK YOU for enlightening all of us...we truly love binging and purging, but since YOU have been kind enough to state the obvious about the health repercussions, lets all stop now, ok? Its as simple as that, right? If I was a newcomer to the world of bulimia, and saw your post, it would make me feel like an idiot who has a ridiculously easy problem with a simple cure. Think and research before belittling a serious psychological problem.
PS- Do you really spend time evaluating which disorders you would RATHER have??? How dare you claim that you would rather be anorexic. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you to write something that insensitive and ignorant????????

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