It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

  • C&S ing is it really a ED?? ..... SAME AS BEFORE

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 10-21-2003, 01:08 PM   #1
    punkypixie
    Junior Member
     
    punkypixie's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Location: uk
    Posts: 44
    punkypixie HB User
    Exclamation C&S ing is it really a ED?? ..... SAME AS BEFORE

    It all started with a diet I was 16, 5ft 4 and 162lbs, Id eat like an apple a day … and feel guilty for that … for some reason I thought id be more accepted if I was thinner. I was getting over depression and was hiding away from my friends, I was terrified one of them would say something about my weight and I don’t think I could take any comments at all in a good way or bad. As if it was good id just think they were lying then laughing at me behind my back. I think the most I ever managed to go without eating anything was five days …and even thought I had the tiniest amount of food I beat my self up over it … saying id failed and im friends would never accept me again. I did this a few times for about 9 months with like a couple of weeks normal eating in between. I never really fully recovered from that, id lose weight for the week I wouldn’t eat and feel real good about myself then put it all back and sometimes more when I started eating again. So instead of taking a eating, not eating, eating thing I resorted to chewing food and spitting it out, in to bags, bins, down the toilet ... wherever I could really.
    And here is where im at.

    Its a disgusting habit and id be lying if I said I wasn’t ashamed. In like the past month ive lost 28 lbs im now the average weight for my height … only I see it as a accomplishment, but I still feel and look fat also …I don’t want to stop …no one has noticed yet I would love to be about 105lbs I mean its only another 29lbs and I did just under that in a month, I know that when I return to my normal eating habits (if I can?) that the weight will just go back on again but I seem to be able to kid myself that ill be able to do something to keep it off. I feel more confident around guys now but I can’t wait for the rest to come off.

    Before I was fat, and in my eyes I still am BUT I know I look thinner since I lost that 28lbs… That’s why im sure I don’t have a ED of any sort as you always read how they see themselves as fat no matter what weight they lose … and yeah I still think im fat but I also know im thinner then I was.

    That was until I read stuff on this site… Which has made me think twice about me, and the people that do this as well, only I seem to have a different frame of mind to them … they seem to see it as an ED but I don’t. It’s really confusing and hard to explain. And most people fling the words "eatting disorder" around without a thought.

    I guess I just want to talk to someone with the same problem, sometimes I think im so weird as I see it in this way

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 10-22-2003, 05:01 AM   #2
    Kaitrin
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    Kaitrin's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Posts: 392
    Kaitrin HB User
    Post

    Yeah, C/S is an e.d. - it is listed in the DSM-IV as one of the "eating disorders not otherwise specified".
    You have lost a lot of weight very quickly - that's not healthy...I don't mean to sound like I'm lecturing you but it does sound like you could be headed for trouble. I hope you are okay. Have you thought of getting counseling or anything? Take care -
    ~Kait

     
    Old 10-22-2003, 09:08 AM   #3
    punkypixie
    Junior Member
     
    punkypixie's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Location: uk
    Posts: 44
    punkypixie HB User
    Exclamation

    Counselling?? I don’t really think I need too… I mean people that go counselling have some real bad stuff happening to them – or in their past. I think really id just be wasting their time.
    I mean I got over self-harm by myself – and although I have the urge to do it every so often most of the time I keep it all under rap. I mean maybe it isn’t a permanent fix but it will do for now. So I sort of think ill manage this on my own too.
    That’s the only bad thing is my past really…Well other then family problems – but everyone has those right??
    Besides my parents wouldn’t really go for it ….it would involve paying some attention… I think they would rather bury their heads in the sand easier to cope that way or something.

     
    Old 10-22-2003, 11:38 AM   #4
    summertime
    Newbie
     
    summertime's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Location: Paris, TX, USA
    Posts: 8
    summertime HB User
    Post

    Can I ask how old you are? If you are in school I really would say you should go to the crisis counselor and just tell her. If it's too hard for you to tell her, then print off what you wrote here and give it to her. Then tell her you can't talk to your parents. C/S is hurting yourself so maybe you haven't quite gotten over it. Who am I to talk? Well,I'm just saying, counseling isn't for people with "serious" problems or whatever. It's for people with problems. That's everyone. It's not for crazy people anymore, that's a 1950's idea. Sounds to me like you really need someone to talk to.

     
    Old 10-22-2003, 12:40 PM   #5
    punkypixie
    Junior Member
     
    punkypixie's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Location: uk
    Posts: 44
    punkypixie HB User
    Exclamation

    Im 17 and in 6th form we don’t have crisis counsellor’s over here. I don’t think I really could talk to them anyways... I always feel people will think im making it all up for attention when that’s the one thing I don’t want! The way I see it is if you’ve got problems why put it on someone else’s shoulders?? It’s your problem so keep it that way!

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Do I really have anxiety and is medication possibly the answer? Ramrodiger Anxiety 1 11-11-2009 06:32 AM
    Really freaked out... jme18 General Health 16 02-24-2009 10:49 AM
    HPV- is it really as bad as it sounds? mrk2007 Human Papillomavirus (HPV) 3 10-09-2007 06:40 PM
    my wisdom teeth removal story-really long- but detailed! :) melly123 Dental Health 0 09-03-2007 01:01 AM
    Will I ever be really happy while married??? hillaryb Relationship Health 19 07-16-2007 10:38 AM
    What is it that we really need to do here in order to get back on track? Casman Relationship Health 12 04-27-2005 08:04 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:32 PM.





    © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!