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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

No longer in denial

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Old 05-06-2011, 05:41 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 1
Lovemyself HB User
No longer in denial

I binge eat. There I said it. Now what.... Reading numerous threads I think we all understand that its hard to tell people we binge eat because people will just tell us to stop eating. Like I never thought of that myself. Today was a bad episode. I mean bad. If I had to estimate my calories it would be about 3000 easy in just about 2-3 hours.

I binge eat by myself and hide it from everyone. I work out and eat healthy during the day but at night when I get home I go crazy. and just continue. I get depressed after an episode. Like just now. I put so much effort into working out and then just ruin it at night.

I feel as though coming from two alcoholic parents that I am predisposed to some sort of addiction. No I never did drugs, I drink a little, I think I almost used guys for sex to feel love, but now its food. I feel as though I could become bulimic. I feel as though I am almost there like a simple push would cause me to fall. So now I binge. and binge and binge.

I plan on starting fresh on I haven't said that before. I am writing out my food for the week and going shopping sunday so I won't have any excess food in my house to binge on. I do not want to admit that I am binger to my friends/family. I am always held to be perfect. This is flaw and I feel as if they would not accept me.

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Old 05-13-2011, 07:06 AM   #2
Join Date: May 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 1
allllly HB User
Re: No longer in denial

Heyy girl. I am proud to hear that you have admitted it to yourself. From that point it does get better. I, like you, know of the pressure that it feels to be perfect. That's why I started to have battles with anorexia. I workout like crazy and then won't eat until after school ends, or sometimes I just don't. It is a terrible feeling, but you can perservere and be strong. I suffer daily knowing that I just want to achieve that perfect body that I never seem to be able to. But just stay strong, and when the time is right be sure to talk to your parents or even a friend. I talked to my best friend about it. It helps so much. Stay strong through this(:

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