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How bad was i?

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Old 05-22-2012, 04:08 PM   #1
Twisted Metal
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How bad was i?

I'm a 24 year old female. currently 5'9 and 132lbs. at my worst i was 123lbs. I never really thought of myself having an eating disorder till all the physical symptoms emerged (arthritis, thinning hair, digestive problems)

for about 18 months i would eat one small thing everyday like: a slice of pizza, one cheeseburger, one candy bar. also about once every 2 weeks i wouldnt eat anything all day. if i had a real actual full meal, it would only be once in the day. so i never ate more then one meal a day. i drank like 3 cups of cofee a day with splenda and skim milk of course and also occasionally like once every 2 weeks i would eat like a huge sub or a whole small calzone. i never really went crazy with the binging. i only drank cofee and diet cokes, i never drank any drink with calories except for occasional alcohol.

now that im writing it, it sounds bad, i always assumed anorexics starved for days or vomitted. i never made myself vomit or abused laxatives. i did abuse diuretics pretty bad for awhile. i guess i thought i was ok because i ate pizza, candy bars, and cheeseburgers.

how bad was i compared to other people? did i damage myself pretty bad by doing that for 18 months? i was only doing that for 8 months when the arthritis emerged(by arthritis i mean all my joints swell everyday fingers toes wrists ankles jaw etc). 3 months for my hair to start to thin out. and after 18 months the digestive problems started.

i've been eating normally now for 8 months. at first i gained 30 lbs! but it evened out and i lost 23 of it. in me ED i was 123-125lbs now i am 132. i'm happy with this weight i really am. will my arthritis ever go away? what i really care about is my digestive problems, will they ever go away? i'm tired of bloating and being constipated and feeling full. i know what i did was wrong now. and i was only doing it for 18 months, i read people here who have been doing it for years and years. i hope i organized this post well enough for people to understand me and give me some advice on what to expect.

another reason i never thought i was that bad was because i never lost my period! i thought anorexics had no period thats what we learned in school. it always came normal and regular! i even got pregnant when i was restricting really bad! although i had a miscarriage. it is now in my recovery that my period is irregular but it was always there!

Last edited by Twisted Metal; 05-22-2012 at 04:10 PM.

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