It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Recovered from Anorexia but gaining weight and struggling - help!

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-07-2012, 02:57 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 1
nshwartz HB User
Unhappy Recovered from Anorexia but gaining weight and struggling - help!

Hello everyone,

I'm new to these boards so first of all a very condensed history: I've had anorexia since I was 16 (now almost 29) and about 3 years ago I was 110 lbs at 5'5". I know that's really not the worst case at all but I also had quite a bit of muscle mass so consider that weight lower, technically.

A couple of years ago, my boyfriend intervened and made me see a nutritionist and a counsellor. They helped me get my weight up and deal with it as well. I eventually stopped seeing the counsellor because I had very little time, money and I was dealing well with everything.

Currently, however, I am struggling a lot. Despite eating healthy overall (gluten free except weekends, low sugar and no junk again except weekends sometimes and that's usually things like a cookie here and there) and exercising 3-4 times a week, I seem to be growing in size.

I don't weigh myself because that's a vicious cycle, and I am trying not to measure myself either because every time I do, I have a breakdown over gaining yet another inch everywhere.

I realize that mirrors are not a reliable way of gauging my size but I see myself getting bigger. Last year I was at 120-122 lbs, my normal weight and everything was ok (I wasn't happy with myself but that's not surprising, I rarely am). This year, however, none of my pants from last year fit me and I have to change my entire wardrobe. I've gone from size 3/5 to 5/7 and I seem to just be growing. Last time I weighed myself a few months ago and I was 126 already. I'm fairly certain I'm over 130 now.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Today was a bad day for me, I spent most of it crying and wondering what's wrong with me. I wanted to see a nutritionist but my boyfriend told me if I did he would not be able to be with me because that would be giving in to my ED. I eventually made an appointment with my former counsellor but I won't see her until next week and until then, I am on my own.

I love my boyfriend and I know he is doing everything because he cares for me and because my emotional reaction is in no way normal or healthy but I also feel trapped and blackmailed.

I'm not sure what I am looking for... advice, support, understanding, anything. I don't have many people to talk to about this. Actually, I have none. This is what's really hard about it. I don't want the ED to win but I feel out of control, inching (literally) towards being overweight and I don't know what to do.

Please help if you can. I feel very lost and alone.

Thank you.

Last edited by nshwartz; 10-07-2012 at 02:59 PM.

The following user gives a hug of support to nshwartz:
Phoenix (10-11-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Recovered from Bulimia...Now what? mamamartinez Eating Disorder Recovery 4 02-02-2011 11:05 AM
Anorexia Nervosa - dangers of low BMI mjpd Eating Disorder Recovery 4 08-22-2010 12:29 PM
need advice from recovered or recovering anorexics please charliea Eating Disorder Recovery 4 09-14-2008 01:43 PM
Has Anyone Recovered From BED? Stigma Eating Disorder Recovery 8 12-05-2005 07:08 PM
About My Struggle with Anorexia & My Future Full Recovery (Hopefully) :0) Praise05 Eating Disorder Recovery 5 08-19-2005 12:17 PM
Recovered since Feb-struggling bad MistiGrace Eating Disorder Recovery 10 08-01-2005 04:49 PM
What actually is Anorexia? troubled_teen12 Eating Disorder Recovery 36 06-24-2005 03:21 AM
Can this be anorexia?!! Meagan312 Eating Disorder Recovery 7 05-21-2005 07:24 PM
ahh being recovered is so hard pgirl Eating Disorder Recovery 14 01-10-2005 03:55 PM
cant stop gaining weight after anorexia!!!! Duck Eating Disorder Recovery 3 10-24-2003 03:01 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:20 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!