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Old 05-02-2002, 09:18 AM   #1
Kokopelli
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Does anyone here deal with parents thinking you are no good because you have seizures and consider you to be handicapped I get into this with my mom all the time .. sometimes I wish I was not born I really down on this today.. I wish I had a way to leave and never come back

koko
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Old 05-03-2002, 08:03 PM   #2
Krazykcio
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Hi Koko,
I am so sorry that you feel badly about your Mom. It's possible that she is scared too. If not, you really need to keep your chin up and realize on your own that you are special, and the same person....seizures and all. In my case, I am the Mom, and I can't imagine feeling anything but love for my children. I'm the one with the seizures, which just started in September. I've been pretty down myself, since it's a big adjustment...not driving and all. My work load has been cut back, and I live in the booneys, so feel pretty isolated. But, we have to find support (like here!) and find reasons to keep going on. Seizures really suck, but they aren't the worst thing we could be facing. I hope this helps. Big hugs! Kathy
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Old 05-03-2002, 08:25 PM   #3
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Hi Kathy,

I don't feel badley about my mom thats the thing I love her with all my heart.. I just wish she felt the same we have NEVER had a mother daughter relationship and we have allways argued over normalicy to her I am HANDICAPPED to me I am a go getter and I'll do what I want in my life ... trust me I love my mom so much otherwise I never would have said a word on the boards about it. I have rights too and thats to run my life I don't need her thinking for me my brain is not that damaged I just have seizures .. I think you can relate right? I sure can with anyone on here LOL sometimes people won't deal my mom is one... she has a daughter with epilepsy thats all there is to it.. she needs to accept it. I think I may have not posted all my feelings on this here since I was also on the depression board with the same topic Kathy hon thanks for your response

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Koko
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Old 05-05-2002, 02:25 PM   #4
rekabs
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Im a single father and my mom is the same way. I can't do any thing,with out her trying to help like im stupid now ,or something.Then thinks Im not smart enough to make decisions (Because I have seziures.) because Im having sez. My brain does't work anymore.I have a hard time convinceing her my disability is epilepsy not mental retadation.The thing thats hard is she makes other people stop and think a little untill the are around a little.then they see im ok and are not as touchy . Any way hold on you no you are all right so take care and like the others say your mom is probably woried and scared like my mom tying to take care of her baby. she just dosn't know what to do.

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shawn

[This message has been edited by rekabs (edited 05-05-2002).]
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Old 05-06-2002, 12:19 AM   #5
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I know what you mean rekabs,

but this is 2002 not the 60's where people didn't understand it.. well they should atleast learn about it heck I had to learn about so many handicaps when I worked for the train .. I took the time some people especially our parents need to help by making us feeling as normal as possible don't you think? this is what causes such hatred in the home where we are supposed to feel most COMFORTABLE? LOL I didn't move home to be babied and neither did you we are still us we are still brilliant people no matter what unless my brain of course got ran over by a train but that was not the incident my mom has a drinking problem along with the fact she never wanted to learn about epilepsy or her daughter for that matter.. your a father won't you give your child everything he/she deserves in life as the parent no matter WHAT? just a thought to ponder hon, Shawn my mom can take some time to honestly talk to me and learn something about me and then ACCEPT me as I am .. her pretending is not going to stop me from having seizures I am simply me

Hugs hon
Koko
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Old 05-06-2002, 01:09 PM   #6
Krazykcio
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Hey Koko,
I never thought you didn't have anything but wonderful (albeit frustrating)feelings for your mom. We mothers can be a strange group (LOL). I hope you are feeling much better, and that your mom is dealing with things in ways that would be supportive for you. Be well. Krazy
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Old 05-06-2002, 03:12 PM   #7
Kokopelli
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Hi Kathy

I know I think I needed to vent a little about this is all as it tears at the insides I also suffer from depression so I tend to really get on a downside but am lifted by my friends here .. parents are strange creatures but I really love my parents my dad really should not be put in this as he has nothing to do with it really .... he allways has a smile its rare to see pops angry and he is going through some tough times right now

thanks again hon
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Koko
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Old 05-11-2002, 01:36 PM   #8
Beth's Mom
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KoKo,
As a job requirement I went back to college for my Masters...I opted for a concentration in multi-handicapped to help me with my students and with Beth. My first day in class I was the only parent of a handicapped child in a room with special ed. teachers. The professor asked what was the first concern of a parent of a handicapped child....there was silence in the room. Though I was very nervous, my hand shot up in the air, ..."What will you do with your child in the future." I said. The professor agreed and added that parents of handicapped are also clients for teachers and people in medical fields to deal with...the prof said that parents of handicapped go through the same stages of depression that one does facing a death, as the normal child they were expecting did not appear....that parents can remain in one stage or another or work through all the five stages: denial,why me, self-blame, anger, and acceptance and action I believe they were (could be wrong on those!). I stayed in the third stage for almost 10 years after Beth was born.
I know you are experiencing depression, but parents have a hard time with anything they cannot fix for their child. When Beth was first born I thought God was punishing me because of an aborted unwanted pregnancy in my youth. I often fight depression as a parent and have to guard against letting myself stay in dark rooms and dark thoughts.
I can tell you are hurting but want you to remember that as much as you love your Mom, she is also hurting and responding to you the only way she knows how for the moment...as her love for you is strong.
Take care,
Beth's Mom

 
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