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WHY ME!!??

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Old 06-27-2002, 03:32 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 9
pejohnson HB User
Unhappy WHY ME!!??

I graduated Coast Guard bootcamp in August of 2000. Nine months later I had my first grand mal seizure. I felt as if I was doing something good with my life and then this all happens.
After my first seizure I was taken of my ship for four months and was not put on medication. For those four months I was seizure free and still happy about being in the CG. I was put back on my ship in August of 2001 and had another seizure. Go figure! Now my opinion on staying in the CG has changed significantly. I'm extremely limited on what duties I can perform with my job which in all reality means I'm not able to do anything while I'm on medical hold. This has cause my self worth to be shot out the window. I'm limited on where I can live because I'm restricted from driving. This has cause me a great deal of unhappyness and I feel that if I get out I will at least be content with my life. Second I'm not even allowed to advance until I'm fit for full duty. I'm hoping to get answers from someone on the outside.
My medical officer wants me to see a psychiatrist because he feels that I'm in a great state of depression. All I told him was that I was unhappy with my current situation in life and work.
My biggest concern is that my medication also cause me to sleep constantly. Even when I wake up I still feel tired and lethargic. I don't know how I'm going to work a normal work day for the CG if I have to continue my medication. Unfortunatly I don't think it would be a good decision to take me off of the medication only after a year of being seizure free. i could end up having a break through seizure and if I'm on ship when it happens it could be fatel or even deadly.
If there is anyone that has been discharged from the service for epilepsy please contact me. I really need help on getting my medical board reviewed again for discharge. All I want is to live a normal life with out all these restrictions. I feel that if I'm forced to stay in things are not going to turn out well. Please help me. I'm really in need of some advice.
Paul E. Johnson III

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Old 06-27-2002, 04:38 AM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Preston MN
Posts: 31
mnsnellers HB User

I cant say 100% that I know how you feel, but I know the feeling in a different way. I don't want to repeat too much of my other post, but Life was going great for me, I had a wonderful wife, 2 great kids, a good job. Then, in Nov 2000 after being seizure free for 14 years, a grand mal popped its ugly head from nowhere. In Feb 2001, my wife told me she was having an affair with one of my coworkers (I thought he was also a friend). I got divorced in Aug 2001 (stupid me didn't respond to her petition correctly, she got everything including kids) and in Nov 2001 I had a severe car accident severly smashing my foot, causing me to lose my job and possibly never work again. Luckily I have someone I met while my divorce was going on, who became my girlfriend. She has been through this all with me and has been very supportive and helpful. I don't know what I would have done without her. I have questioned things many times, but came to the conclusion that the Lord has a reason for everything and a plan for everything. We don't know what that is or understand why the way it is, but we have to keep faith and keep plugging along. I hope everything works out for you (I know it will, maybe not the way you want, but it will work out). Just take things day by day and keep us posted.

Have a good day
Jason MN

Old 06-27-2002, 11:50 AM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: VT USA
Posts: 446
Krazykcio HB User

Hey there,
I've been going through a real down period myself...wondering why these things are happening to me. I HATE having epilepsy, and resent the changes I have had to make in my life (like driving, job etc.) I guess I'm not lifting your spirits much eh?! All I can say is, hang in there, and keep posting to this board. As much as most of us are going through the same crap, the good thing is that most everyone here can sympathize. There are alot of very supportive folks here. Good luck, Kathy
When Mamma ain't happy ain't noone happy!

Old 06-28-2002, 12:51 AM   #4
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 9
pejohnson HB User

Thank you mmssnellers and Krazykcio,
Its funny I've tried so many things to keep my mind off of want out of the service because of this situation. Unfortunately the only thing that keeps running through my head is that I want to be released from the Coast Guard and move on with my life. I really feel that its a bad decision the the CG's behalf too keep me in. It seems as if the only thing I can think about is being home with family and not having to worry about risking my life. The Coast Guard can be extremely dangerous work and I don't think thats what I should be doing. Even though at this current time my job is very relaxed, I know that if I'm put back on ship with out being medicated I'm going to have another seizure. Every possibility has pretty much leds to the ship. We had lead test done in our drinking water which is one of two big possibilities which have been considered. Also on some CG cutters there are still small traces of lead in some of the paint below decks. They definately think stress on ship along with having insomnia may have been the biggest trigger point. I really hope someone registered here was prior service and was discharged for epilepsy. That way I can get a heads up and advice on how to go about getting out. Thank you both again for the advice and I think this could really help me get through some pretty stressful times. God bless!!!

Paul E. Johnson III

Old 06-28-2002, 11:44 PM   #5
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Williams, Az.usa
Posts: 377
Kokopelli HB User

hi pejohnson

hon I know this feeling you have dreams and goals in life and then everything comes to a hault, but let me tell you.. I did everything I wanted to do, I didn't give into this thing we call depression. I didn't give into doing and learning the things I wanted to with my epilepsy. When I came to arizona I was very depressed and down because in this state there is just not much to do as far as work. I was terrified but I chose railroading LOL first female in the carshop and first epileptic on this line.. but I did it and my epilepsy even though I had seizures on the train never once discouraged me .. the point I am trying to make hon is make the goals think them over and by all means go for them. just because you have a seizure disordor doesn't mean you can't rock.... beleive in yourself with or without disordors... best of luck to you and I hope you meet your dreams and goals


Old 07-03-2002, 05:35 AM   #6
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: canton,ohio, usa
Posts: 24
heatherbellamy HB User

Hi Paul.
My life was in the USMC for 3 years. I was stationed from state to state. Keeping a nuerologist, became a job in itself. Unable to drive or work at times and moving every 6 mths-1 yr., got the best of me.
I left the military, got divorced and moved back home. Started my life over. I had to stop looking at all the - and look for the +. Instead of thinking, why me?, I thought why not me? Why did I think I should have it better then someone else? There is always someone with something worse then what we are going through.
I had 3 kids, went through nursing school, and ended up taking care of my grandma the last 6mths. of her life, and 2 years later I ended up in real estate, were I met my husband. At 18, I never saw any of this for myself.
You have a choice to make. God has a plan for changes, you might not see it today, but years later you will. Good Luck!

Old 07-17-2002, 10:55 AM   #7
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Oceanside, CA
Posts: 4
smithbl HB User

i know how you feel, kinda. look at my very recent entry made today. i am new to this site and have alot of questions about this epilepsy thing. do you know why you started having the seizures? what causes them? i want to stay in the marine corps, but they wont let me cause they have a strict policy about seizures not being compatible with the marine corps. anyway, they are processing me out already and they dont even know if i truely have epilepsy. all they know is i have a seizure disorder. or at least they think. so, i hope things work out for you. i know all about how the mlitary works.....with the hurry up and wait thing....and the!!!! don't get me started!

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