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  • My Boyfriends Parents Do Drugs...What Do I Do?

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    Old 07-31-2002, 04:31 PM   #1
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Location: Manitoba,Canada
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    Slick HB User
    Unhappy My Boyfriends Parents Do Drugs And I Dont Know What To Do

    Hey Everyone. I don't know if anyone can help me but i thought it was worth a shot. (sorry about the length)

    Me (16) and my bf (17) have been going out for about 7 months now and everything is great! Except for a couple of things. His mother and step father do drugs. Don't worry, he doesn't. But i can tell that it hurts him so much. He has a younger sister who is only 5. But its not just that either, it just seems like they don't even care about him. Like for example...about a week ago he tried to confront them about the drugs and they kicked him out of the house. Now he is living with his grandparents. When he called just to see what was going on his mother was busy so she said she'd call him back....she never did. So he called once again and found out that she went away for the week, without a word to him. She didnt even know that he was at his grandparents. He's really hurting. He says even though all that stuff happens at home he's home sick and I understand. If you're thinking maybe he could go live with his dad...sadly his father passed away last month. It just seems like everything is going wrong with him. I worry about him but more so now of his little sister. I want to do something but i don't know what. Thanks.

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    Old 07-31-2002, 07:15 PM   #2
    KC Lee
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    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: LA, CA, USA
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    KC Lee HB User
    Re: Boyfriends Parents.....Yuck!

    Slick, I am very sorry to hear that. It sounds to me like your boyfriend is having a hard time with this and it's probably worse because his father just passed away. He is probably really missing him making everything seem much worse. The only thing you can do is be there for him and keep telling him that this is not his fault. I have had a boyfriend who's mom went to jail for a year for drugs, it's very sad. But, he needs to realize that it's her problem, her choice. It's not his fault. He is almost an adult now and it would probably be in his best interest to get out of that situation. Does he have a job?? Can he move out on his own?

    Old 07-31-2002, 09:37 PM   #3
    Join Date: Jul 2002
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    JenniAngie HB User

    i'm not sure but perhaps you could fine some program in your area that your boyfriend could tell & hopefully they'd be able to do something. hope that helps. good luck.

    ~>Jennifer Angela

    Old 08-01-2002, 12:08 AM   #4
    Join Date: Nov 2000
    Location: stoughton WI USA
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    mlgable HB User
    Re: Boyfriends Parents.....Yuck!

    Your boyfriend needs to be there for the 5 year old sister and should have his grandparents call social services and file a complaint about his mother and step father. Once social services is involved they will take care of things. His grandparents can call or write annonymously and no one will have to find out that they are the ones who made the complaint.

    Old 08-01-2002, 03:19 AM   #5
    Join Date: Jan 2002
    Location: Britain
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    nicola76 HB User

    This is a very tricky situation and I'm not sure what advice I could offer.

    Try posting your question in the "Addiction & Recovery" forum. There are a lot of people there that have gone through the same thing as your boyfriend and could maybe tell you what to do. I'd say the most important thing at the moment is the welfare of his 5 year old sister since he's not there at the moment to watch over her.

    Take care and keep in touch.


    Old 08-01-2002, 05:52 AM   #6
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: Houston Texas USA
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    YadaYada HB User

    Go into your computer search engine and type "teen crisis hotline" and your state. There will be different resources there that you can call, without anyone knowing who you are, and they may be able to help you and your bf.

    I know you don't want to cause more problems for him, so be careful of an organization called Childrens Protective Services (CPS) because that agency can actually go into the house and remove your bf and his sister and place them in foster care. At some point that may be necessary for their safety -- but if you don't want to go that route yet, there are other agencies that can help.

    Have you talked this over with your own parents? They are the best place to start. Don't try to handle this on your own -- you need the help of some adults that have more experience dealing with situations like this.

    Good luck with this. I think you are a mature and caring person to try to help them.

    [This message has been edited by YadaYada (edited 08-01-2002).]
    Spay & Neuter your PETS please! & help end the suffering of innocent animals.

    Old 08-01-2002, 12:57 PM   #7
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    AshleeD HB User


    I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend's parents. What jerks. It's horrible that people have to get into the sad part of the world out there. But sometimes, quite often actually, they do.

    Just let him know you are there for him whenever he needs you. Let him know that it's not his fault his parents are this way and try and get him to understand that because he may think it's him that caused his parents to become drug users.

    This is so sad and I feel awful for him. Maybe tell him about this website. It's awesome...and it's so nice to know there IS a place to turn even when the people around you aren't helping. It would give him a place of support and love. I hope that he makes it OK. Just let him that you love him all the time and spend lots of time with him. He's probably very thankful that he has you

    Both of you take care, and I hope things start to look up for him. Just remember God is with you all, and I'll be praying for both you, him and his parents.

    I hope this helps, I really do. God bless.

    Much ~Ashlee

    [This message has been edited by AshleeD (edited 08-01-2002).]
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    Old 08-01-2002, 01:10 PM   #8
    Denise F
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: Ohio
    Posts: 222
    Denise F HB User

    You might try to find a listing for Al Anon or ALA
    teen family groups. This is a free program that helps family members deal with living with someone
    with drug problems. It would be much easier to deal
    with being able to talk to people in the same boat.
    Drugs can take over a person's life and they hurt
    not only themselves but those around them. Good luck
    to your friend. This group will have answers to alot
    of his questions.


    Old 08-01-2002, 09:36 PM   #9
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Location: citrus heights, ca, usa
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    darkwolfofvoid HB User

    My parents do/did drugs. Low on money so they might not be lately! I also lived in a druggy house for five or six years, so there goes my teen years, which are vital for development!

    I didn't have any siblings to look after, so i just stopped caring about my parents since they neglected me. I actually turned out pretty well if i don't say so myself. IQ around 130. I can major in any subject of science i want (getting an AS in math no matter what, and i'm fond of social/personality psychology). I don't do drugs and i'm a health nut. I need to go get a job at a gym!

    I don't see really what the problem is. His parents do drugs. The kids almost an adult now, he should move out, call social services and get his sister taken out of that enviroment, and move on with his life. Turn his parents in if he has to.

    If HE was doing the drugs, then it's concern to you. But who really cares about his parents? That may sound cold, but there's a LOT of people doing drugs in this world and councling them all and trying to "confront" them isn't going to help. We need to let go of things and start new and clean.

    Old 08-02-2002, 07:55 PM   #10
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Location: Canada
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    rain-o2 HB User
    Re: Boyfriends Parents.....Yuck!

    i agree with MLGABLE socal services should intervain for the young sister's sake!
    as for ur bf... he is goin threw a tough time now and all u can do is b there 4 him.... tell him none of it is his fault and that he should remain strong for his sis.....
    it is really sad his mom is acting that way... and i am afraid there is not much he can do to make her change, looks like she is gonna stay that way, but who knows she could change....

    rain <IMG SRC="">
    maybe if social services get into it, she will realize that drugs is her problem and that will b enough to make her quit and all....
    good luck to u and ur bf!<p>[This message has been edited by rain-o2 (edited 08-02-2002).]

    Old 08-07-2002, 06:39 PM   #11
    Join Date: Sep 2001
    Location: Houston, Tx, USA
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    crog77x HB User

    that's a really unfortunate circumstance! but do you know what type of drug(s) the parents were(are) doing? That would give a bigger picture so i could give you proper advice.

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