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  • My friend is paranoid

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    Old 10-05-2019, 08:24 PM   #1
    Phobe
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    My friend is paranoid

    Hello , I have a friend who was addicted to crack , in 4 years he and his girlfriend burned through about $700,000 .00 , when he ran out of money she left him and because he couldn't afford his habit any longer was forced to quit. While he was using he was constantly convinced that he was being followed by the police , he swore up and down that they were in his yard and that his telephone was tapped .

    This went on for 4 years .... he was never arrested nor was he ever questioned ...other than one time he was pulled over for a traffic violation , they thought he was drinking , searched him and they found a gram of crack , it was thrown out of court .

    So about 5 months laster , he swears he is clean , but is still paranoid , he thinks that there are 6 under covers following him everywhere he goes , they eat at the same restaurants , follow him into the grocery etc .


    One time I noticed that he had either chapped or burned lips ( crack pipe perhaps ) but he is insistent that he is clean .

    Is it possible that he is clean but his mind is altered into a paranoia state from the past abuse , or am I being duped ?

    The two reasons that I am asking is

    1 he is a good friend , I worry for his health , he is 60 years old .

    and

    2 he Rents a home from me on my property . and I am concerned about what goes on here . I am wanting to maintain a low key safe environment . I do not want to share space with an addict , nor undue attention from the police .

     
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    Old 10-06-2019, 05:37 AM   #2
    Chainsoflove
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    Re: My friend is paranoid

    Hi, I think he gets paranoid for unknown reasons. If he is indeed clean, he probably has some underlying mental disorder. Since his girlfriend left him, he lost his support person. It is obvious that his girlfriend left him because there was no money left to buy the drugs.

    I think you, as his friend, are being patient with him, because there is a strong bond there. Thank goodness he hasn't been caught doing drugs while on your property. That could mean that he will lose you as a friend. Try to get him to a doctor as soon as possible. He might balk at the idea of getting a checkup of course. I hope you keep us informed on this matter.

     
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    Old 10-06-2019, 05:35 PM   #3
    MSNik
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    Re: My friend is paranoid

    I would be willing to bet he is still using.... people who are clean do not usually demonstrate paranoia...but that being said, he may have fried a few too many brain cells- and its possible he has damaged his brain.

    Can you get him to a health practitioner for a full physical?
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    Old 10-06-2019, 06:51 PM   #4
    Phobe
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    Re: My friend is paranoid

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Chainsoflove View Post
    Hi, I think he gets paranoid for unknown reasons. If he is indeed clean, he probably has some underlying mental disorder. Since his girlfriend left him, he lost his support person. It is obvious that his girlfriend left him because there was no money left to buy the drugs.

    I think you, as his friend, are being patient with him, because there is a strong bond there. Thank goodness he hasn't been caught doing drugs while on your property. That could mean that he will lose you as a friend. Try to get him to a doctor as soon as possible. He might balk at the idea of getting a checkup of course. I hope you keep us informed on this matter.

    Thanks Chainoflove , He is a good friend , but he is also a tenant so I have to respect his privacy . I just cant live with the constant paranoia ...its a bit crazy . I will get to the bottom of it and keep you up dated .

    His son who is addicted to Meth , is in a horrible state ...he is covered in scabs , is very skinny , has zero social skills , I have banned him from my property , I just cant deal with seeing that everyday , I feel a bit mean towards my tenant , because really it is done of my business ....but him being around here just brings down the morel ..... Its a bit much really . If I didm=nt have to see his company walk by it would be different , but we are in very close vicinity . He lives in a suite above my garage .

     
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    Old 10-06-2019, 06:56 PM   #5
    Phobe
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    Re: My friend is paranoid

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MSNik View Post
    I would be willing to bet he is still using.... people who are clean do not usually demonstrate paranoia...but that being said, he may have fried a few too many brain cells- and its possible he has damaged his brain.

    Can you get him to a health practitioner for a full physical?

    I think so to , its my gut feeling . I doubt he would go to a doctor ....he is maintaining he is clean .

     
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    Old 10-07-2019, 05:11 AM   #6
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    Re: My friend is paranoid

    Hi Phobe,

    I can see you were trying to be kind thing by leasing out a space to a friend. You have doubts now for reasons that he created. It is just like an addict to say 'I am clean, so don't believe your lying eyes'.

    You would have been right to give him notice at the first suggestion of drug use on your property, and that you didn't yet doesn't mean you are obligated to continue to deal with the addict on your property. That is not just a rental. That is your own home. I am just saying he was already given more than enough time to do the right thing, and he clearly is not even now sober and drug free. If he was you would not be concerned.

    An addict family member used to come to my home after using drugs though I had a rule against those drugs at my home. He reasoned that if he did the drugs elsewhere he was not using at my home. Well, when he was high and came to my home that was using. He didn't get it and he didn't want to get it. I finally had to tell him that he was not clean of drugs so he had to stay away from my home. Eventually he died from the drug use he always said he was not doing. It is a sad thing he did to himself, but I didn't want it at my home.

    Your tenant brought the drugs to your property. You should not have to wonder what he is doing on your premises. Legally, he broke his agreement and he broke the friendship when he did that even one time, so you are right to enforce your agreement and give him notice that he has to vacate the premises by whatever specific date that the law in your area allows.

    They cannot help it, addicts are notorious liars. It is just part of addiction. Lying to themselves about what they are doing is the first step of their deception. If it appears that way it is because it is that way. I am saying you don't trust him for a reason that he created, so now it is reasonable that you don't trust him.

    If you want this to stop you must enforce the agreement between you and make hm leave, within the letter of what the law allows. He broke the lease when he brought drugs onto your property. Trust in a person is based on their own performance. He broke trust with you long ago, it was not you that broke the trust. You distrust him for a real and reasonable reason.

    He changed the relationship with you by his own free choice, so now the only decision you have to make is whether you are going to enforce your end of the agreement and evict him from the premises. That is the only way his problem in your life will end.

    It is sad what he did to himself and all, but he is an adult, and he made his own choices.
    If he has to live with them he just might in the future make some better choices. But that is completely up to him.

    The question really is what are you choosing to do for your self?

     
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