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  • Why Not Smoke Weed Everyday ??

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    Old 09-14-2003, 12:27 PM   #1
    Sustasha
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    Smile Why Not Smoke Weed Everyday ??

    My D is now 37; she started smoking pot at 15. She now has a chronic cough with phelgm (sp).
    So if you're reading this and you're a young person who smokes everyday I wanted you to know that
    not only does it not do a THING to solve your problems, it will eventually cause you to have lung damage. My D has tried to deal with her dysfunctional relationship w/her father for 22 years and smoking pot has not done One Thing to help it ; it has only made her cough a lot and spit up.
    Not too smart if you ask me. She has just added a health problem onto a family problem. To say nothing of the fact that she can't save a dime. She's always driving out to her latest dealer. Or whatever the word is. Always broke, coughing, smoking, angry and coughing. And she says she's "fine." It's so sad and self destructive but she will not accept help from me or anyone.

    ------------------

    Susan Gene

     
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    Old 09-14-2003, 04:50 PM   #2
    Artificial Red
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    Great point! Never start drugs. Sometimes it good to make mention of that when there are a lot of curious people reading these boards. It would scare me.....

     
    Old 09-15-2003, 05:32 PM   #3
    OBXboy
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    I used to smoke pot everyday. I was overweight & always out of breath. And my wife wouldn't consider having a child with me. We now have a 13 yr. old son & I'm a former marathoner!

    ...why do you think they call it dope?

     
    Old 09-15-2003, 06:49 PM   #4
    verylucky
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    I've smoked a ton of pot in my days and been around a lot of folks who have smoked just as much... I've yet to see it make anyone smarter, it primarily makes people withdraw from human contact and go thru these endless mind games for hours on end. It takes away all of your ambition and makes you a recluse from society.

    Although pot addicts don't typically have any physical withdrawals, the depression after you stop can last for months on end. I used to love to come home from work and smoke a fat one then lay on the couch vegging out for 3 or 4 hours before hitting the sack. That's a real productive and rewarding lifestyle, huh? With the grace of God, I'll never have to live (it's really not living) that fallacy again.

    Take care,
    verylucky

     
    Old 09-15-2003, 07:57 PM   #5
    imthatguy
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    I totally agree that smoking pot everyday is a bad thing. It does make you lazy and it clouds your thoughts. On an occasion though, I think its fun and it really doesn't do really any harm to your body. No more than a cigarette. If you vaporize it, there are no negative effects on your lungs. Its better for you than an occasional drink. Like I said, everyday is bad, but as an occasional or social thing, I don't really see anything wrong with it. I don't mean to sound like I am pushing it on anyone or saying do it all the time. I just really feel that pot has a bad wrap. There's too much propaganda out there, trying to keep it illegal.
    I am sorry about your D using everyday. I used to do the same thing, but I just kind of grew out of it. I hope your D will do the same. Don't worry too much though, there are soo many worse things she could do, and the cough will go away if she starts smoking less. If she just won't get off it and you are seriously cooncerned with her health, you might want to talk to her about investing in a vaporizer. It just heats the THC in the pot, and leaves all the bad chemicals unburned. When pot is burned with a lighter, it changes the marijuana into various different chemicals etc.(about 100 total), but when vaporized it only produces 1. It has been scientifically proven to be basically harmless to your lungs. Also, produces a different effect than smoking. It makes you more social and motivated. A very noticable difference would be seen in her health and personality i believe. Sorry about the long post here and like I said above, I don't mean to be telling anyone to start smoking or anything like that. I just wanted to share the information with you about the vaporizer because if your D is not willing to quit, that doesn't mean her lungs(and health)have to suffer. I'm sure it's not the solution your after, bu would be lots better than the current situation. OK, I'm going to stop rambling now. I hope everything works out for you
    Best wishes,

    -Imthatguy

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 05:47 AM   #6
    Sustasha
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    Unhappy

    You said, "go thru these endless mind games for hours"

    Can you describe this? She drives me to dyspepsia
    and gastritis and nervousness with her ENDLESS dialogues with me of what she "wants to do" and where she "will work and make a fortune." And what really did me in is, after 2 hrs of this fantasizing,
    she said she wants to "be a faith healer" and then she put her hand on my forehead and one on my chest and said, "be healed in the name of Jesus Christ" then walked out the door. It was a demonstration of what she'd "like to do" and she isn't even religious.
    I've been sick w/H Pylori for 2 days now.
    She cannot understand why her family can't feel close to her. She is just too weird to understand.

    ------------------

    Susan Gene

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 06:00 AM   #7
    chefob1
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    sounds to me like she needs therapy and to stay away from smokin the hooch thats puttin her that much more into never never land....chef

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 06:11 AM   #8
    verylucky
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    Ditto to what chef said. When I said "mind games" I meant I would sit around for hours just thinking about useless crap. I never fantasized about being Jesus Christ. That must be some heavy duty stuff she's smoking. Anyway, what you said about her being distant from her family is pretty typical. It's hard for a pot addict to communicate well enough to form solid, meaningful relationships because they spend so much time in never, never land, as you call it.

    Good luck,
    verylucky

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 06:25 AM   #9
    Sustasha
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    No, she has never fantasized being Jesus. She said she would like to Heal People in His name. Oh, brother. And it had no connection to what she had been talking about the 2 hours beforehand. Which was, and almost always is, what she "Can" make selling houses and/or what she "could make" if she sold two a year or three or four a year --it drives me totally mad. But if I Show that she's driving me mad and that I need for her to leave she becomes Very defensive and implies that I'm a "bad mother." The other long term thing she does is she has this friend she ran around with in high school. She does not realize that they are NOT really friends at all ! And that the reason she continually talks abuot what a "loser" this girl is to make herself feel better. That is, the so called friend is so messed up that my D enjoys telling me all the shortcomings of this friend so that my D will feel good about her Own life.
    Over 2 decades of a pretend friendship that continues with them at one time attacking each other in Mexico and being hauled off to Jail ! They went down there with 2 guys to buy Valium. duuuhhhh
    Get this one: my D said, "ok, mom; so my son (5) has only lived with FIVE DIFFERENT MEN in his lifetime. He has a stable life." I can barely take it much longer; I'm not that young anymore. Her father, a Ph.d in psychology, told me there's nothing that can be done to change long-term, deeply ingrained problems like hers. He is bi-polar also. I divorced him 16 yrs ago.

    ------------------

    Susan Gene

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 06:39 AM   #10
    Monday1954
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    I don't know that just smoking pot could make you that weird. Could she have some sort of mental illness and be using pot as self medication? A way of feeling normal, not normal acting to us, but normal feeling for her?

    Since she is 37 you may have to do a whole lot of talking and convincing to get her to seek a diagnosis. Is she able to work? Where does she get the money to buy her weed?

    I guess what I am asking for is some more background information about her. You didn't say if she was married or had any children.

    The only person that I know that even sort of acted like that, declared himself to be God once, also had a lot of other things going on. He was finally diagnosed with schizophrenic. Here are a few signs of schizophrenia: it is difficult for them to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, they can't think logically, can't have normal emotional reresponses and can't behave normally in social situations. If you recognize any of this, post a question to the mental health board.

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 07:10 AM   #11
    Sustasha
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    MONDAY, she and her adored son have been living with a very hard working man for a year. He pays many of the bills. She herself has been very successful selling on online Auctions (I'm afraid to mention the name fearing getting in hot water). She got her real estate brokers' license a few months ago, (just a salesman's license wasn't 'good enough') cried with joy, then quit her job at a national real estate company after 3 weeks.
    Her 2nd divorce was final a couple of weeks ago. I am not a professional but I know something about abnormal psychology and I am convinced she has Borderline disorder and Bipolar disorder. She has never cut herself but other than that she has all the symptoms of both illnesses according to the DSM IV (diagnostic manual that I own).
    We wanted her and her son near us. She was putting him in risky situations and we needed to keep a close eye on them. We had put a very nice roof over their heads, rent free. Then she met this man and he never once offered us a dime to live there. We wouldn't say anything about it to them but I think it's slightly insensitive of him. And he does pay most of the bills. He has substance problems of his own and I feel she has made them worse. Historically, she makes people and relationships sick. I pray to God she doesn't make my grandson sick too.

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    Susan Gene

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 07:11 AM   #12
    Monday1954
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    I guess I was posting while your other replies were put on the board. Your husband doesn't sound like a great deal of help. Encourage her to seek help, I don't believe that she can't be, no matter how many years she has had the behavior problem. He sounds like he needs some counseling too.

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 07:15 AM   #13
    Sustasha
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    And, again, she has never declared herself to be God in any form. She said once recently she would like to be a faith healer. I know she is under a lot of stress and turning to faith healing as a fantasy is, in my opinion, a manifestation of her stress.
    As stated in the DSM IV, she has chronic feelings of boredom. She has said she does not want to lead a "mundane" life. Most people do but I am going to tell her that raising a child is the most important job a person can undertake. She is "forming" his personality, value system and life view to a large extent and this scares me.

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    Susan Gene

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 07:38 AM   #14
    Monday1954
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    Susan, once I again I was posting while you were responding.

    She sounds like she has some major problems, you already seem quite knowledgeable about what could be wrong with her. Now, the question is how can you get your life back and quit worrying about her and your grandson.

    When people first started telling me that all of the things I did for my daughter were merely enabling her to continue on with the life she chose to lead, I had a million good reasons why I did each thing that I did for her. Forgive me put I am going to do a little progecting here: you gave her a roof over her head because you love her and your grandson and didn't want them to not have a decent place to live. You want them to live close so you can keep an eye on your grandson. You listen to her rant and rave because you are afraid she will go somewhere else to live and you won't know what is happening to her.

    Turn this around - she is an adult and needs to be able to function on her own. Letting her live rent free is enabling her to continue on with her lifestyle. Why would you allow her boyfriend to live there rent free? You owe him nothing. She stated that her son has only lived with 5 different men in his 5 years of life, you know this is not healthy for him.

    What you can do - I am going to offer several different options, you may choose to do none of them if you are not ready. You can talk to her and explain that you will no longer provide her and her boyfriend a home, their option would be to pay you rent or move.
    You can tell her that you don't like the way your grandson is being raised and if she continues on you can call the Department of Human Resources and have her home life investigated. You could seek custody of the grandchild if she is unable to provide a stable home for him, if you don't want to take custody of the grandchild, maybe one of her sisters would be willing to. If she isn't willing to work, stop supporting her, if she has the time to chase down her dealer and sit around smoking pot, she has time to work.

    All of the suggestions above will most likely cause you to have heart palpataions - this has been a way of life for many years and we all resist change. Parents, especially have a hard time when it comes to their children, grandchildren even add to that. Try to join a support group of some kind. People like you and me are called enablers and co-dependants. It is hard to accept and even harder to change. If I can help in any way I will be glad to.

     
    Old 09-16-2003, 07:40 AM   #15
    Sustasha
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    Monday, what did I say that you'd think my H is no help and needs counseling too?? He has No bad habits and bought them a house to rescue my , not his, grandson from undesirable situations.

    ------------------

    Susan Gene

     
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