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  • My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

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    Old 01-02-2004, 03:39 PM   #1
    ladylike
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    Unhappy My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    Hello everyone. I am new here and am looking for some advice. Thank all of you that have the courage to post and admit that you are addicted to drugs. Its the first step to recovery. I am not that lucky. My boyfriend of 2 years is a drug addict and is in denial. He says he has a little problem. He has been doing every imaginable drug since he was 16. You would never know it, if you just met him. He told me when we met that he used to do drugs when he was younger. I thought in my head, ok, he was honest with me, and I appreciated that, a lot. Well he wasn't honest at all. On our 3rd date he called me at 7 and told me to be ready for 8. Well 8 o'clock came and he didn't come. He called me at nine and was real breif, he said I am sorry, I am not coming out tonight, I have a headache. I thought it was kinda strange, but I was like ok. Only to find out he was doing cocaine all night. Now mind you, we are not younger, we are in our late 30's. He has 3 children and I have 6, three children of my own and I adopted three. His 3 live with their drug addicted mother, I didn't find that out until later. Well I fell in love with him. Then he let me know that he was still doing drugs. He would start a big fight with me and then walk out. He would leave on Friday and not come back or call until Sunday. He would abuse me so bad verbally, telling me I am no good, he hates me, and a lot of curse words that hurt. Sometimes I wish he would punch me in the face and just leave instead of the verbal abuse. Verbal abuse can be just as bad as physical abuse. Physical abuse the bruises go away, verbal is forever. OK so he leaves. So if I had an emergency I was screwed because he would shut off all his phones. He then calls me on Sunday morning saying, hi honey, I love you a lot, your my best friend, I need you so much in my life. I have forgiven him I can't even tell you how many times. He has done drugs every week to every 2 weeks since we met 2 years ago. I never got addicted to drugs so I really can't understand where he is coming from. I think he is addicted to drugs, he says he has a little problem, to top it all off, he was diagnosed with bi-polar last july. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you
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    Old 01-02-2004, 03:56 PM   #2
    Knute
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    My advice is to RUN...

    As far away
    As fast as you can

    Don't look back

    Last edited by Knute; 01-02-2004 at 04:00 PM.

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 04:13 PM   #3
    VERACITY
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Knute
    My advice is to RUN...

    As far away
    As fast as you can

    Don't look back
    WORD.

    I don't know anything about that kind of deal, except that I wouldn't want to have anything to do with it..

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 04:53 PM   #4
    ladylike
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by VERACITY
    WORD.

    I don't know anything about that kind of deal, except that I wouldn't want to have anything to do with it..

    Thanks for your honesty. I do want to run away all the time. He just makes me feel bad for him and makes me feel like its my fault. Thanks to these message boards I see that I am not the blame. Please anymore advise would be appreciated.

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 04:54 PM   #5
    VERACITY
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    you just answered yourself on what to do.

    now do it and good luck

    john

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 07:07 PM   #6
    Knute
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    Abusive behavior tends to escalate. It may only be mental/verbal now, but that could change in a moment. Find a good Women's shelter (Yellow pages) and tell them what you have explained here. They have the resources to provide you safety and perhaps even get the boyfriend into an appropriate treatment program. DO NOT go back to him unless AND until he has been clean for at least 12 months.

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 07:45 PM   #7
    bluejulie5
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Knute
    My advice is to RUN...

    As far away
    As fast as you can

    Don't look back
    Excellent advice.
    DO IT!!!!!!!!
    __________________
    julie

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 08:37 PM   #8
    John 808
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    I know it is real easy for people to say, "Run..." or "Get out of that relationship..." etc., and I know it is alot easier said than done. But in this case, it sounds like to me, that is the best advice to be given. You do not need to subject yourself to that kind of treatment and especially those innocent children that have no idea what is going on. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for them! Nobody deserves to be verbally abused- if this man that says he loves you can turn around and say he hates you with such ease, I would question whether he truly loved you or not. I know people aren't perfect and make mistakes, but if one continues to make the same mistake over and over at your expense....it is time to re-evaluate the situation. I wish you the best of luck and really- I would leave him NOW! God bless you and give you strength,

    Michelle

     
    Old 01-02-2004, 09:32 PM   #9
    ForgetMeKnot
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    Sounds like he knows you wont leave him, so he'll just keep doing it .

    You should leave him when he does it and let him see how life is without you, if he dont at least try to straighten out

    Also what about your children..are they around this? If so thats not good for them either.

     
    Old 01-03-2004, 08:54 PM   #10
    natashab222000
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    Re: My boyfriend is a drug addict and in denial

    First off you can't change your partner, he has to change himself, he will not do it for you or anyone else. Yeah, he knows he has a problem, deep down he wants to fix it, but he likes the way he feels when he's doing it. Your partner may be very addicted, you may want to check his arms, if this is the case, he has a very very bad addiction. I have been around people in this same situation. He probably has a very poor self esteem, so don't make it worse. Be there for him, let him know that it is now both of your problem, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to get him off this. If he can't change for the sake of your family, then you can do nothing but leave.

     
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