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Found out the truth about my brother

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Old 05-02-2005, 02:22 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 8
hellkat HB User
Found out the truth about my brother

I posted a couple of days ago wondering if it was depression or drugs. My brother admitted to me last nite he uses crack, and has been for a while. He says he knows he needs help but wouldn't go with me last nite. I went over there in the morning and he agreed to get help. So off to the hospital we went. In the ER his story already was changing that he just had a little depression and toyed with drugs. Does anyone know what happens from here? I know he has an appointment with the psychiatrist in the morning can he schmooze his way out of the place or is there an automatic 72 hour hold on him?? I am so scared he will somehow get out and go on a bender and end up dead. I know he has to want to be clean and sober, but I'm afraid it's not going to happen.

Last edited by hellkat; 05-04-2005 at 03:04 PM.

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Old 05-02-2005, 03:10 PM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: midwest, USA
Posts: 96
Gr8fulGoldfish HB User
Re: Found out the truth about my brother

I wish I knew the answer to all your questions. I do not know.

I would think the psychiatrist is wise to addicts and their shmoozing abilities. I don't know if you or girlfriend can talk to psychiatrist, may be something to explore.

Bless you for your efforts with your brother!!

Old 05-03-2005, 07:26 AM   #3
Nervous Nellie
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 225
Nervous Nellie HB User
Re: Found out the truth about my brother


I commend you for your concern about your brother. How old is he? Drugs and depression are a vicious cycle and one feeds off the other. The suicide attempt could have been a cry for help or it could have been quite serious. I pray that the psychiatrist will be able to get an accurate evaluation about your brother's state of mind.

On the other hand, drug addicts are very clever at lying and hiding their true feelings, so it's also possible that your brother will minimize his feelings when he talks to the doctor. My son could fool anyone, anytime when he chose to.

Your brother sounds like he has a full plate with a girlfriend and 4 children and no job. Like you, I'd be wondering where they are getting the money to live and feed those 4 kids, let alone buy drugs.

You as his sister likely don't have as much influence over his lifestyle as his girlfriend does, yet it doesn't appear she's been doing too much to change their situation. By her staying home and not working because she doesn't trust him with the kids, she is also losing a part of her productive life and self-esteem...she's allowing him to trap her in his own downward spiral.

It's amazing how one person's decisions can affect the lives of so many.

How close are you to his girlfriend? Do you feel comfortable talking to her honestly and finding out what she plans to do?

As far as a "suicide watch", I guess that depends on how the doctors feel about your brother's state of mind. I don't think though, that there's anyway they can keep him from leaving or forcing him into a drug rehab, if they find him of sound mind.

Your brother seems to have a very comfortable life conducive to him continuing to "use and abuse". Why would any drug addict want to stop when they were allowed to stay home and do drugs all day and no one put down any ultimatums? I think his girlfriend is the key.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.


Old 05-03-2005, 08:36 AM   #4
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 8
hellkat HB User
Re: Found out the truth about my brother

You are right about his girlfriend, and she said to my older sister all she has done for the last two years is baby him. She knows the situation is not good but he has a way of making her feel guilty about everything and thats why she has been babying him. I am somewhat close with his girlfriend so I am not afraid to say anything to her. After all of this I am not afraid to speak up, especially if it's going to help someone I love. She is not sure of her plans yet she will have to apply for some financial help. I think her main thing right now is to take care of the kids and start "cleaning up" her life. My whole family is rallied behind him but because of the drugs he hasn't really talked to anyone in a while. So we are all wondering do we push our way into visiting hours and call or do we back off a little and let him decide when he's ready to talk to us. I just look back over the past year and "downward spiral" fits perfectly. He lost his job, his home and he almost lost his life.

Last edited by hellkat; 05-04-2005 at 03:03 PM.

Old 05-03-2005, 10:17 AM   #5
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 456
KFld HB User
Re: Found out the truth about my brother

I believe with a suicide attempt that they have to hold him for 48 to 72 hours, but after that they have no control over where he goes. He would have to want to voluntarily admit himself somewhere else, but then could check himself out at any time. Doesn't sound like he's ready to do that yet, but his girlfriend should start giving him some ultimatums at this point unless she enjoy living like this, but I can't see how or why anybody would.

Good luck. I hope this turns out well in the end.

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