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    Old 12-11-2005, 11:01 AM   #1
    cram315
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    Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Right now I am in shock and as you read my post you will see I am naive, don't know what I am in for, what to do or the magnitude of this problem is.

    My grown son just started crying and told me he has been using heroin for the past six months and wants to get off. He said when he bought it last time, he just cried because he knew he was destroying his life. I knew there was a big problem, I knew it was drugs but not this drug! He is sleeping and going through withdrawal right now. He said he used yesterday.

    I don't know what to do. I am beside myself and can't talk to anyone, since he told me this after I swore not to repeat to anyone.

    1-800 help lines aren't of help, since it is Sunday. He is in school and can't miss any more days (he will be kicked out of his studies, lose his scholarship and have to pay back what they invested in him). Is there night outpatient detox programs? I don't know what to do. How I can make withdrawal easier? Faster. He said tomorrow I can bring him to a methodone clinic (??? do they just give this stuff out...I am so confused). Does methodone help? Will they just see him and counsel him? Can he just walk in and get help the same day?

    Thanks.

    I need help. As quickly as possible.

     
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    Old 12-11-2005, 11:29 AM   #2
    Nervous Nellie
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Dearest Cram,

    I don't believe there's a whole lot that YOU can do. A lot of this is going to boil down to how much your son wants to do this for himself...not for you, and not for his Dad.

    You asked if there was a way to make your son's detox and withdrawl easier and faster. I think, in the long run, this is something that if you make easier for him, won't necessarily help him in the long run. This is something that he needs to want more than anything else in his life for himself...and whatever it takes, he will do it.

    As a fellow mom of a drug addict, I know how hard this is for you. I know how hard it is to watch our children grasp at straws...go to rehab...relapse, and try again.

    Methadone clinics will give the heroin addict an alternative drug to ease their withdrawls, and hopefully they can wean off of that as well. The physical withdrawls of heroin can be pretty ugly, and the methadone can help keep them from going through that...as long as they keep within a tapering drug reduction plan.

    The bottom line though, is that your son must want this more than anything else in his life. He must be committed to this, and he must really, really want it for HIMSELF...NOT just because you want it for him.

    From experience with my own addicted son (crack cocaine), I have found that no matter how much love and support I gave to him, until he TRULY wanted it for himself...it was just so much dust thrown to the wind.

    Sometimes, as loving Moms and Dads, we try to protect our kids from pain...but sometimes they truly NEED that pain to grow and make their own decisions....

    You have my thoughts and prayers.

    Nellie

     
    Old 12-11-2005, 11:37 AM   #3
    hoapfloats
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Hi Cram and welcome you have come to the right place, everyone on this forum is so helpful and supportive. i am so sorry you are going through this, I think it can be even harder when your on the other side watching your loved one in pain. I personally never used heroin, bet I used vicodine which is also an opiate. Anyway I think looking into methadone is a great idea, heroin is a hard core drug and he will need some help. As far as a night detox, you can look for an addiction doctor in your area who could help maybe perscribe methadone (some can) or suboxin. Also he needs to get invoved with NA meetings and they have those at night. As far as right now he will be sick with wds, try and pick up some imodium AD, have him take lots of vitamins like L-Trysine, and benadryl if he can not sleep or a benzo if you have any like a zanax(be careful giving him these only in the beginning if he can not sleep because they are addictive)The first three days are the worst. Anyways good luck hon. You are a great mother to help support your son through this. I am 25 yrs old and when I told my mom I was addicted to vicodin she disowned me. Good luck to you and your son, hang in there.

    Heres a big cyber hug for you!! ((((((( ))))))

    Kelley

     
    Old 12-11-2005, 12:26 PM   #4
    Amsterdam
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    There is a medication that will help him come off the herion with minimal withdrawls , its called Suboxone.

    Do a search on it and you'll find the website for it and look for the doctors in your area on that website. A doctor has to go to a special course to become certified to prescribe it, so not any doctor is going to be able to write for it.

    I would suggest you find a doctor and look up some meetings in NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and see if your son is ready for help. The meetings will be a great source for help, but if he continues to go back to the drug then it might be best to consider the inpatient treatment centers depending on how much he has used in the past.

    I would say the biggest reason that people don't quit Heroin is due to the withdrawls, so with the assistance of the Suboxone and going to NA meetings it will really help.

    Good luck, and let him know he is not alone. There are people going through exactly the same things he is experiencing and making a choice to stop is better now than 5 yrs down the road because it just keeps getting harder to stop.

     
    Old 12-11-2005, 01:50 PM   #5
    Arememom
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Hey cram315,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your son. But happy that he has admitted to himself and you that he is an addict. That is a the first vital step in his recovery. He must also admit and believe that he alone is powerless over his addiction. That is the first step in the 12 step programs (there's more to it than that for him to work on, but that's the basic premise)

    I am a recovering 48 yr old crack addict with 117 days clean. I believe that detox can be done at home for some and for some it can not. Son needs to check out the Methadone (but be careful he doesn't swap one addiction for another). Methadone is very addictive itself. It's best if he has to dose at the clinic each day, so that he doesn't have it at home to abuse. It is imperative that he get into counseling (maybe outpatient rehab) or inpatient rehab and/or a 12 step program.

    He will need to sleep off and on probably for the next few days. He will have ache, pains, chills, sleep alot/can't sleep at all, crawly skin, nausea, diarrhea and in general feeling like crap. But it does pass. Encourge him to eat small amounts when he feels like it (remember those things you use to give him when he would be sick/nauseated as a child). Even if he won't eat, he needs to drink fluids - hot or cold. Just needs to keep hydrated. Treat symptoms with over the counter meds:

    Can't Sleep - Melatonin, Tylenol PM or Bendaryl
    Diarrrhea - Immodium AD
    Aches/Pain - Hot baths, heating pad, Aleve, Ibuprophen, Tylenol (He can alternate the Tylenol with one of the others every 2-3 hours).
    General Health - Vitamins
    Nausea - Dramamine

    He may need prescription meds for depression. Anti-depressants usually take 2-3 weeks to get to full effects. So he probably need to visit the doctor now. He needs to be very honest. You'll be surprised how many doctors are willing to really help us addicts when we get honest and want to get clean.

    Now you need to realize that you didn't cause this and you can't fix it. Please read the thread called "10 Ways To Help Your Addict". It's going to be a long, hard road, but he can do it.

    I don't know if you want him to know about you posting here but if you don't care, encourage him to post. We are a great support through detoxing at home, because alot of us did it that way. If you want to keep us all to yourself then there is a wealth of information and he can find something else on the web. We aren't allowed to mention other sites, sorry.

    Alot of folks say they just can't do face to face meetings such as 12 step programs, but once they are here for awhile, they gain the strength to take that step also. Everyone here is not an advocate of those programs, but I am a huge advocate, because I truly believe it has helped save my life.

    I also encourage you to attend Alanon which is also a 12 step group for family/friends of addicts. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

    Last edited by Arememom; 12-11-2005 at 01:54 PM.

     
    Old 12-11-2005, 03:27 PM   #6
    cram315
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Thank you, tonight is difficult, now he wants to go out and my heart is in my throat. I am so beside myself, sad. I am so thankful for these boards. Yes, I know he has to want this for himself and I thank you for reminding me of this so I can keep reminding him of that.

    HELP! Found the suboxone site and found doctor's names in our area but I can't find their phone numbers or street addresses. Do you know how I can find this information?

    To Hopefloats thank you for the cyber hug, this mom really needed it.

    Thanks.

     
    Old 12-13-2005, 10:48 AM   #7
    KFld
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    As the mother of an 18 year old heroin addict, I have been exactly where you are right now and it is really really difficult, but there is hope. You need to know it's a long road though, not something that is fixed overnight and it takes alot of determination on the part of the addict. The choice is his and his alone. Your only choice in this is how you will deal with this and take care of yourself and any other family members.

    My biggest support when I began this journey was alanon. I found a parents meeting and went every single week. I still go, but not as often. I have a habit of going when things are not going so well and backing off when they are better. Sometimes I feel guilty, but then I think, hey it's actually probably a part of my recovery. If there is something I want to be going out and doing for myself instead of a meeting, then that means I'm getting on with my life, right?

    I used to come to this board daily, sometimes hour to hour, other times minute to minute for support. It's a great place to be, but I have learned, just like with alanon, to get on with my day and have a life and be happy, but I learned that through the wonderful people I have met at alanon and on boards like these. Now I just stop in from time to time to see how everyone is doing and hopefully give a little support to someone else who is walking in my shoes.

    There is a lot to learn about this addiction. There is such a fine line between support and enabling and one of the most important things you need to do for yourself is learn how to detatch with love. I have learned that when my son is doing well I can be there for him and we can have a great relationship, when he's using, I have the choice to have nothing to do with him and allow him to make his own choices. He learned very quickly he didn't like me going to alanon

    This summer alone he detoxed inpatient 3 times and went long term inpatient twice. Once for 28 days and the last was 45 in a state facility and he has since moved to a soberhouse. He has been living there for two weeks tomorrow and seems to be doing well so far. He seems to want it, so that is our biggest hope!!


    I was a huge enabler in the beginning, but learned quick, though it wasn't easy. The last time my son slept in my home was the night before I discovered him and his girlfriend had stolen and forged a check from my checkbook. I made him come home, pack his things and leave and left it up to him what he was going to do. That was on August 24th. Luckily for me it was summer, or I probably would have had a littler harder time with it, but it was warm enough for him to sleep in his car if he had too. Unfornatunatley his addict girlfriends mother rented her an apartment where he ended up living, so my efforts of his hitting rock bottom were only prolonged.

    My son has 2 pending posession charges and if he can keep himself clean and pass 2 years of probation, his charges could be dropped. He has a long road ahead of him.

    I have learned through alanon to try and not have to many expectations, then I can't be dissapointed and I recite the serenity prayer often. Those words were never so clear to me as they are now. There are nights I recite them over and over in my head just to get to sleep.

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
    The courage to change the things I can
    and the wisdom to know the difference AMEN!!!!!!

     
    Old 12-13-2005, 10:50 AM   #8
    KFld
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Oh just to add. He has an appointment with a doctor in a few weeks to talk about possible suboxone treatment. I used to be against that and methadone, but I feel at this point, if it keeps him alive and helps him learn how to live a normal life, then who am I to judge!

     
    Old 12-13-2005, 12:56 PM   #9
    pillzpillzpillz
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cram315
    Right now I am in shock and as you read my post you will see I am naive, don't know what I am in for, what to do or the magnitude of this problem is.

    My grown son just started crying and told me he has been using heroin for the past six months and wants to get off. He said when he bought it last time, he just cried because he knew he was destroying his life. I knew there was a big problem, I knew it was drugs but not this drug! He is sleeping and going through withdrawal right now. He said he used yesterday.

    I don't know what to do. I am beside myself and can't talk to anyone, since he told me this after I swore not to repeat to anyone.

    1-800 help lines aren't of help, since it is Sunday. He is in school and can't miss any more days (he will be kicked out of his studies, lose his scholarship and have to pay back what they invested in him). Is there night outpatient detox programs? I don't know what to do. How I can make withdrawal easier? Faster. He said tomorrow I can bring him to a methodone clinic (??? do they just give this stuff out...I am so confused). Does methodone help? Will they just see him and counsel him? Can he just walk in and get help the same day?

    Thanks.

    I need help. As quickly as possible.
    I don't have alot of time to write this, but I want you toknow methadone saved my life, your son can finish school and be successful etc. There is a really good board for methadone patients with a TON of info...search on watchdog and you will find the address - I am not allowed to post links...

    Methadone can be used just to get him off heroin or as maintenance....at least get the info.

     
    Old 02-15-2006, 09:29 PM   #10
    Beaubien12000
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Cram,
    Your son needs immediate help, this drug is a monster and theree is no quick fix. He needs inpatient treatment probably for a month at least. i know this because i am a heroin addict and beat the demon. It took several overdoses and several rehabs to get it. Trust me this addiction will kill him if not addressed.

     
    Old 02-16-2006, 10:06 AM   #11
    Sayra_wall
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    Unhappy Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Hello Cram,
    Im so sorry to hear about your son! I myself am a heroin addict and I have 2 soon to be teenage daughters and I cant imagine those words ever coming out of their mouths. The best thing you can do for your son is to let him suffer a bit and let him see just how serious this problem really is. This drug is nothing to play around with as I am sure you know. I dont think you should put him on Methadone though. I think methadone is worse than heroin it eats up your bones and rotts your teeth and when the time comes to get off ,of the methadone the detox is way worse . The best medication out there right now is Suboxone I just started on it and I feel good. You should enroll your son in a rehab to let him learn more about his disease. Your son sounds like a smart lad wanting to stop so early in his addiction it usually takes years for people to admit they have a problem. I wont wish you luck because luck has nothing to do with this, it really all depends on how much he really wants to stop, but I will warn you that this is probably the beginning of a long journey because getting off heroin is no easy task it takes years sometimes for people to arrest their addiction if death doesnt take them first and remember this is a disease just like diabetes. therefore it must be treated with the same care. Meetings are very important. He will meet people he can identify with.
    I hope I have been of somekind of help. If you are religious, pray. Spirituality is very important!

     
    Old 02-17-2006, 04:19 AM   #12
    goddessgrl65
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Cram..
    Please check out Suboxone..it saved my life..if your son can get help now..there is a good chance to come off-its a turning point..this juncture-in his using.Hes admitted he needs help-is trying to not use..
    my suggestion-is look into local detoxs-for a medical detox..and if nessecery the sub.
    I just stopped sub 4 months ago-and have not relapsed/used opiates since..
    it is a great med-that really works on the cravings..and can be titrated as you go along-also-you can bypass the detox-if he chooses to go for sub detox/maitainence..and can safely start the sub-and come off the heroin.
    There are options-sounds like he has alot going for him-but w/ this insidious drug..it will rob you of your life/dreams.
    Today is the day..there is hope.
    ggrl

     
    Old 02-18-2006, 08:04 PM   #13
    hoapfloats
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    Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    Hi Cram, I just wanted to check and see how you and your son are doing, i know it has been a little while. Did he get treatment yet? I really hope things are looking up, your story touched my heart, you are such a wonderful mother to help him try and get well. I wish my mom did that for me. Try and post to us if you can, we are all thinking of you and your son and I will pray for him. I agree that a long term rehab would help, or he could try suboxine to help with wds and stay clean. A lot of people here have had such success with that med to stay off the heroin and other opiates. Anyways take care and I hope we hear from you soon!


    (((((((HUGS)))))))

    Kelley

    Last edited by hoapfloats; 02-18-2006 at 08:13 PM.

     
    Old 02-20-2006, 08:08 AM   #14
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    Unhappy Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    You are lucky your son wants to stop the heroin. I don't know how common that is. The only person I've ever known who shoots heroin is this 40 year old man who is, as we speak, sleeping for the second day in one of my daughter's bedrooms. His mother says he's been doing it for 20 years. I think it's more than that because he said his first hit was in sixth grade and that it changed his life.
    My daughter says it's better to have him there, stealing her car, her xerox machine, her son's electronics and her grandmother's jewelry than for her to be alone!!! I can't relate to my daughter anymore. Her value system is so entirely different. She says she's 'on guard' day and night, watching out for her stuff. That he's "impaired" and when he isn't he can be trusted, no problem. He calls other women, lies to them, asks them for money by telling them he's outside in a blizzard barefooted. But he's really inside my daughter's heated home. My husband OWNS THAT HOUSE and told her to get the bum out. But he's still snoozing away, slowly dying with Hepatitis C which is VERY , very contagious thru using his toothbrush and razor. I told my daughter this and she just said < I"m an idiot." I've met the guy twice. He's VERY laid back, calm and soft spoken. - He is also contagious and my daughter's life is at stake but he's still there. He'll leave , though. He does like most heroin addicts: he leaves, says I love you I'll be back in half an hour, than he's gone for a month. He comes back all skinny, makes up lies, goes to bed for 3 days, comes to for a couple of weeks, acts normal, then leaves for 3 weeks again.
    And this she likes better than being alone?? He's homeless and car less; that is , he claims someone 'BORROWED' his car and never came back last month. We think he sold it. So he kept my daughter's car for 2 days. She was driving around looking for it--it's a compact car--and there she spotted it with SIX guys in it laughing. She beeped her horn and got them to pull over, told them "the cops are coming right now! This is a stolen vehicle!" and they all six jumped out of the car and ran in opposite directions. My husband says her life would make a #1 Reality Series on TV.
    Twenty ++ years this man has been liivng like this. How does he make a living?? He doesn't. He has WOMEN ACROSS THE USA who he stays with, telling each one he loves them and they send him money and gifts.
    What a crazy world. He has been "in recovery" six times, in prison twice, from a felony drug related, of course.

     
    Old 02-20-2006, 08:10 AM   #15
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    Unhappy Re: Help! Son admitted heroin use.

    You are lucky your son wants to stop the heroin. I don't know how common that is. The only person I've ever known who shoots heroin is this 40 year old man who is, as we speak, sleeping for the second day in one of my daughter's bedrooms. His mother says he's been doing it for 20 years. I think it's more than that because he said his first hit was in sixth grade and that it changed his life.
    My daughter says it's better to have him there, stealing her car, her xerox machine, her son's electronics and her grandmother's jewelry than for her to be alone!!! I can't relate to my daughter anymore. Her value system is so entirely different. She says she's 'on guard' day and night, watching out for her stuff. That he's "impaired" and when he isn't he can be trusted, no problem. He calls other women, lies to them, asks them for money by telling them he's outside in a blizzard barefooted. But he's really inside my daughter's heated home. My husband OWNS THAT HOUSE and told her to get the bum out. But he's still snoozing away, slowly dying with Hepatitis C which is VERY , very contagious thru using his toothbrush and razor. I told my daughter this and she just said < I"m an idiot." I've met the guy twice. He's VERY laid back, calm and soft spoken. - He is also contagious and my daughter's life is at stake but he's still there. He'll leave , though. He does like most heroin addicts: he leaves, says I love you I'll be back in half an hour, than he's gone for a month. He comes back all skinny, makes up lies, goes to bed for 3 days, comes to for a couple of weeks, acts normal, then leaves for 3 weeks again.
    And this she likes better than being alone?? He's homeless and car less; that is , he claims someone 'BORROWED' his car and never came back last month. We think he sold it. So he kept my daughter's car for 2 days. She was driving around looking for it--it's a compact car--and there she spotted it with SIX guys in it laughing. She beeped her horn and got them to pull over, told them "the cops are coming right now! This is a stolen vehicle!" and they all six jumped out of the car and ran in opposite directions. My husband says her life would make a #1 Reality Series on TV.
    Twenty ++ years this man has been liivng like this. How does he make a living?? He doesn't. He has WOMEN ACROSS THE USA who he stays with, telling each one he loves them and they send him money and gifts.
    What a crazy world. He has been "in recovery" six times, in prison twice, from a felony -drug related, of course.

     
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