It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics Message Board

  • Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 03-21-2006, 08:51 AM   #1
    jaguar63122
    Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jul 2003
    Location: Bowling Green, KY USA
    Posts: 80
    jaguar63122 HB User
    Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

    Everyone...Needing advice to know if I have made the correct decision. My husband has been on oxycotin (with perscription) for over 3 years now for a failed back surgery. He is also on Methadone, Seraquel, Clonazapan, Hydrocodone, and Nortripiline. All from the same Dr. My husband always runs out early every month, and the Dr. never cares and just moves up his appointments. I have watched my husband go from the greatest Father and husband in the world, to someone who doesn't care about anything. Doesn't care to get out of bed. Doesn't care to bathe. Doesn't care. He sleeps 20 hours out of 24 hours a day. The hardest part is how mean he is. He says things I belive he would never say if he was not on the medication. We had a fight a few days ago, and he told me we needed to go our seperate ways. I agreed, but he went and told his family that I asked for a divorce. His mind the way it is, he might truely believe he didn't say it. He never acts high, but he is not himself. If I ask him, he says that the drugs do nothing for him but control his pain. I cant believe that! I wish he could see what he has become over the last 3 years. I plan to leave my husband if he refuses treatment. Is there a way to convience my husband that he needs help? I am the only provider for our home, and Im not sure how my husband will survive without me. My husband does not help with any household duties. Basically he sleeps, pops pills, and is depressed all day. I want to help him desperately, but I dont want to destroy myself in the mean time. Any suggestions or commetns would be appriciated. Afer reading Largeman's story, I belive that his pain might not be as bad as he thinks if he would just come clean. Also...what is your opions on the Dr. doesn't that not seem right, or am I over reacting?
    Thanks,
    Jaguar

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 03-21-2006, 10:57 AM   #2
    Largeman
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: CA -- or on location
    Posts: 139
    Largeman HB User
    Re: Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jaguar63122
    Everyone...Needing advice to know if I have made the correct decision. My husband has been on oxycotin (with perscription) for over 3 years now for a failed back surgery. He is also on Methadone, Seraquel, Clonazapan, Hydrocodone, and Nortripiline. All from the same Dr. My husband always runs out early every month, and the Dr. never cares and just moves up his appointments. I have watched my husband go from the greatest Father and husband in the world, to someone who doesn't care about anything. Doesn't care to get out of bed. Doesn't care to bathe. Doesn't care. He sleeps 20 hours out of 24 hours a day. The hardest part is how mean he is. He says things I belive he would never say if he was not on the medication. We had a fight a few days ago, and he told me we needed to go our seperate ways. I agreed, but he went and told his family that I asked for a divorce. His mind the way it is, he might truely believe he didn't say it. He never acts high, but he is not himself. If I ask him, he says that the drugs do nothing for him but control his pain. I cant believe that! I wish he could see what he has become over the last 3 years. I plan to leave my husband if he refuses treatment. Is there a way to convience my husband that he needs help? I am the only provider for our home, and Im not sure how my husband will survive without me. My husband does not help with any household duties. Basically he sleeps, pops pills, and is depressed all day. I want to help him desperately, but I dont want to destroy myself in the mean time. Any suggestions or commetns would be appriciated. Afer reading Largeman's story, I belive that his pain might not be as bad as he thinks if he would just come clean. Also...what is your opions on the Dr. doesn't that not seem right, or am I over reacting?
    Thanks,
    Jaguar
    Wow Jag, I'm so sorry to hear what you (and your husband) are going through. I think your assessment is dead on, something isn't right there. That's A LOT of medication and mixing methadone, Oxy, and hydro is the giant flashing red light to that story. If you would have asked me three months before I quit I would have 1) been extremely angry that you doubted my pain 2) believed whole-heartedly that my pain was still real. Before I started out on the pills I had a legit medical issue, however 2 and a half years later who knows whether or not my pain was caused by my dependence or my illness - by then I didn't care and I just wanted the drugs. It sounds like your husband is so doped up that he has lost touch. While I never "acted high" I definitely can relate to letting things go around me. And for the record, when I tried to quit my doctor didn't approve and actually wanted to transition me to oxys too, so sometimes the doctor is your worst enemy.

    As far as suggestions go, it may be hard because it has been a while, but you have to separate who he used to be from who he has become on the pills. His perception of reality is distorted and anything that might remove him from his pills he will percieve as an attack. You can't let that stop you though, I would seriously considering meeting with his doctor one-on-one to address your very valid concerns. I can't promise he will hear you, but that would be my first step. Ask him about other forms of pain management that aren't narcotic based. This will very likely upset your husband but your children deserve their father back and if you don't explore your options they will lose what they have left of him eventually.

    Few people out in the world will understand what you are doing is saving his life. He and possibly friends and family might view you as the bad guy, so I hope you have some sort of support system to help you cope during this difficult time. His talk of divorce is practically comical because without you he would be lost. If he refuses to get help then the only thing you can do is try to make a better life for yourself and your kids. The reality of no longer being able to sleep all day without someone caring for him fulltime may be the thing that finally pushes him to take a hard look at his situation.

    I can only speak from my own experiences, but today I have less pain then when I first took those pills. In the beginning they helped, but like most addicts will tell you, by the end there was more pain, no buzz, and horrible sinking feeling. Right now he is trapped and breaking free might be the thing he needs to finally feel better. His pain right now is very real but how much of that is caused by the pills (which, after long-term use actually prevent your bodies natural pain relievers from working) or caused by a real physical ailment is hard to say. It is very likely his physical problem is excerbated by those pills though.

    Regardless of what happens you don't deserve to be held hostage here. I hope things work out, but if they don't this isn't your fault. If your doctor is unwilling to help there are plenty of other doctors who are versed in dealing with patients who have become dependant and need to transition off of narcotics. I wish you all the best.

    -Large
    __________________
    "Everything looks perfect from far away"

     
    Old 03-21-2006, 05:13 PM   #3
    butterfly64
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Nov 2003
    Location: Alaska
    Posts: 282
    butterfly64 HB User
    Re: Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

    I am so sorry to hear about the situation that you are in... The bottom line however is this.... you have to look out for you... you can offer him help, but until he realizes(step 1)..and then actually admits(step 2).. that he has a problem..... there is nothing that you or anyone else can do for him.. All you can do is make sure you he has all the information that he will need when he decides to reach out for help!
    Sorry if this sounds harsh...just my thoughts... Good Luck!
    __________________
    J-
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    "If you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, you're in the wrong tunnel."

     
    Old 03-21-2006, 09:11 PM   #4
    farills
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Mar 2006
    Posts: 10
    farills HB User
    Re: Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

    Once your body gets used to the effects of these strong pain meds, they don't produce a "HIGH" anymore. Plus the individual is tolerant to the medicine. The reason he runs out early is because he's taking more than he probably is supposed to. He is VERY addicted to primarily the Oxycontin and the Methadone. High doses of these drugs will make you lazy and crush you "normal" personality over prolonged use. They almost can turn you into a zombie... but this is how sever pain is treated. Pain meds = addiction.
    Addiction recovery takes alot of commitment and dedication to WANT TO come off the drugs.

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 05:50 AM   #5
    mpvt
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2005
    Posts: 467
    mpvt HB User
    Re: Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

    You have a addict on your hands for sure.I don't understand why his doctor is ordering hydrocodone with methadone.Once he's on a regular dose of methadone then any other opiate is virtually useless.This doctor is the one who needs to be questioned.I also agree that if he's not willing to get some help then you need to leave.Don't worry about being the sole provider,you need to take care of yourself and the kids.This will make him either do something and if he doesn't then you being home is just adding to the problem.Don't give him money or anything else until he gets the help that he needs.I know I sound like a ***** but I have been there myself and I have helped other people in your situation.Sometimes tuff love is all you have left.Good luck and I hope your husband gets the help he needs.....Dave

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 06:07 AM   #6
    jaguar63122
    Member
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jul 2003
    Location: Bowling Green, KY USA
    Posts: 80
    jaguar63122 HB User
    Re: Please Help Husband is dependant/addicted? to Oxy

    Thanks for all the advice. I guess somtimes you know in your heart, but it feels better to hear it from someone else. I wanted to come back and post exactly what my husband is taking. His Dr. is suppose to be one of the best, he even has written a book called "Understanding Chronic Pain". Has anyone ever seen a drug regimen like this? Thanks...Jag

    Oxycotin 80mg every 6 to 8 hours
    Methadone 20mg 3 times a day
    Serequel 300mg before bedtime
    2.0mg clorazapam before bed
    Nortriptyline 125mg berfore bed
    Loratab 750mg every 6 hours or as needed for pain
    Lexapro 20mg a day

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    please help addicted to antihistamines tamaramoore55 Addiction & Recovery 1 02-23-2010 10:05 PM
    Pregnancy and Methadone Maintenance? Please help! dancinshoes Addiction & Recovery 8 08-04-2007 04:57 PM
    Oxycotin Users Please Help jaguar63122 Addiction & Recovery 10 05-28-2007 06:40 AM
    Questions about Benzo's: HELP PLEASE ms.christy Addiction & Recovery 14 02-24-2006 11:09 AM
    chronic insomnia please help kaykay5 Sleep Disorders 20 04-08-2005 03:01 AM
    Hydro Addiction?Please Help Me New Mommy Addiction & Recovery 4 12-04-2004 07:18 PM
    Meth Addict in my family, Please Help jordanhailey Addiction & Recovery 10 06-24-2003 11:44 AM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:09 AM.





    2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!