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    Old 10-31-2006, 11:26 AM   #1
    tshont
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    my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    I've been dating this guy for about 5 months, and have fallen hard for him. Two years ago he was shooting up cocaine every hour every day until his arm was nearly amputated. As far as I knew he had been clean since. But two nights ago he confessed to me that for the last year he has had a problem with smoking crack. He says he does it anywhere from once a day to once every two weeks. I don't know much about drugs at all, and I had no idea he was doing this so I am in complete shock. I ended it with him for lying to me and basically living a double life. I guess I'm just here for some support, maybe some insight on the drug. Right now I am disgusted with him and feel like never talking to him again. Thanks in advance.

     
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    Old 10-31-2006, 11:40 AM   #2
    bkim
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    Hey there. Welcome to the board. Does he want to quit? Is he willing to check himself in some where? I never did coke but have heard quite a bit about the harm it can do to your mind/body and pretty quickly.

     
    Old 10-31-2006, 12:41 PM   #3
    minnesotagirl
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    Re: my boyfriend and crack ....

    You might want to consider moving this to the addiction board.

    Crack is just about the worst drug someone can do. Usually people are addicted after the first try. It is a high that doesn't last very long, so when an addict comes down, they immediately want more. Often it leads to other illegal activity such as burglery, robbery, assault or prostitution to get money to get more of the drug. The only cure is an inpatient treatment facility and even then, relapse is common. You did the best thing you could have done for yourself by cutting off all contact with him.

    I know it hurts, but please stay away from this guy. Five months isn't that long, either, so at least you found out now. You will heal and move on, and one day, he will be a distant memory and you'll find someone who is deserving of your love.

    Good luck!

     
    Old 10-31-2006, 01:04 PM   #4
    galinaqt
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    Re: my boyfriend and crack ....

    I am agree with the previous post. Addicts often can't help themselves and after clean period go back to do what they were doing, also they would do anything to get money to buy this stuff.
    Remotely you can be in danger with police, if he will bring it to your place.
    Best thing you can do is cut off all contacts with him.

     
    Old 10-31-2006, 01:22 PM   #5
    mpvt
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    If he's shot dope then you better get your blood checked for Hepatitis C,HIV ect.If I were you I would get out of the picture with this guy.This isn't someone with a casual cocaine abuse but a full blown addict.Believe me your life will be hell if you stay.....Dave

     
    Old 10-31-2006, 01:55 PM   #6
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    Re: my boyfriend and crack ....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tshont
    I've been dating this guy for about 5 months, and have fallen hard for him. Two years ago he was shooting up cocaine every hour every day until his arm was nearly amputated. As far as I knew he had been clean since. But two nights ago he confessed to me that for the last year he has had a problem with smoking crack. He says he does it anywhere from once a day to once every two weeks. I don't know much about drugs at all, and I had no idea he was doing this so I am in complete shock. I ended it with him for lying to me and basically living a double life. I guess I'm just here for some support, maybe some insight on the drug. Right now I am disgusted with him and feel like never talking to him again. Thanks in advance.
    Hi

    If you need some support, I think this is the place for it. As far as I am concerned, I am very sorry for your pain, but it's better to suffer now than to accumulate pain for the future.

    I don't know why, but your brief description of this guy makes him look like a rather decent guy, if it were not for the drugs. I think he may be in need of help, but certainly he needs professional help, if anything, not the help from a girlfriend or an ex. I think he was decent because, after all, he told you about his addiction. Well, he may have hidden it for a while, but then at last he was honest with you. Moreover he doesn't seem to be an aggressive type and I don't know whether he does anything illegal in order to get his stuff.

    All in all, I think you should try to part ourselves friends, or at least in a friendly way. This is my feeling about him.

    And I am sure you will soon get over this.

    Take care.

    JC

     
    Old 10-31-2006, 05:24 PM   #7
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    I know a lot of peaple who's lives were ruined from doing crack,it makes you do things that you would never thought of doing,steeling from friends,relatives,to support the habit.Not keeping up with bills,etc. I know two peaple who lost everything,house,marriage,everything! Its an evil drug.Crack is not predgudesed[can't spell-lol] it brings down lawyers,doctors,polititions,it turns peaple into something there not.I guess what i'm saying is becuase your boyfriend does it,it don't make him a bad guy,but he needs help,and he needs to do it for himself,not you,not his family,if he don't love himself,how can he love anyone?

     
    Old 11-01-2006, 06:44 AM   #8
    Stanee
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    Unhappy Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    Hi I've been going through the same thing I've been dating my boyfriend for seven years on and off and when we first started he was smoking weed alot . For the last two or three years he have been sniffing or smoking crack and it has got really bad. A couple of months ago I ended things with him because I can't trust him , he lies, cheats, and he has turned violent. I need help because I love him and I miss him and instead of turning my back on him , I kind of wan t to stay to help him but I don't know how to help him and I don't know if he will ever give up the drugs. So right now I'm confused, bitter, heartbroken, and angry!

     
    Old 11-01-2006, 09:09 AM   #9
    horsybreeze
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    Here's another one going through the same thing. When I met my boyfriend, I fell for him so hard. I love him with my whole entire heart and soul and we had a wonderful first year together..... It was perfect, too perfect.

    Then in June this year, I found coke on the floor. I asked him outright, he lied it's a one off.... but as we've gone on, the lies, the deceit gets worse. He basically told me he'd done it every week since we'd been together, even though after about 4-5months, he'd looked me in the eye and swore blind he's never or would never take it with me. He didn't need it (the conversation only came up because he said he used to do it). He smokes weed every night too.

    I can't tell you the heartbreak and stress I've been through. For what?? to go to work, come home and spend the evening stuck with him in front of the TV monged out? To dread every single Fri night cos he'll wanna go out with his cokehead mates.. and i have to arrange something to do because if I sat at home doing nothing I would go absolutely insane wondering what he was doing.. To have have to crawl around our home on my hands and knees looking for white powder? To have to go through his phone (which I know is soooo wrong and have never sneaked before EVER, he's turned me into some paranoid physco bi**h!), just to see if he's scoring some to go out with and probably chat up other girls because that's what coke does isn't? Makes you think you're the dogs bo(**x. I wouldn't know, I've never done drugs and I can't understand it. Now I've started finding texts from another girl, looks like nothing, but when I ask and he says it's so and so from work?? Doesn't look good does it.

    Even as I write this, I am reading it and thinking what the hell am I doing still there? But I am. And the realisation has hit that it's time to go, but doing it is just so darn hard.
    Life without him seems so daunting. That first year was the best year of my life and I guess I've hung on so long, in the hope that, maybe one day, he'll wake up and be the man I met. The man that asked me if I would be his girlfriend, the man that saw me off to L.A for two weeks with tears in his eyes.

    Sorry for the long post xx

     
    Old 11-15-2006, 01:09 PM   #10
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    Unhappy Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    I am going through the same thing. I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago. I've known him and loved him and cared about him for 7 years. Since we were 14. We are 21 now. We were together for 6 months when we were 14 and never really got back together but always had a "thing" whenever we saw eachother, and he's been the only one I've ever felt like this about. We've ran into eachother randomly twice in Seattle, which isn't where we've known eachother from so it's so crazy and just a few months ago got back together after our second run in. He has a kid now and alot has changed, and when we got together I knew he had recently gotten into Heroin. He was smoking it and snorting it, and after about a month of dating he started shooting it up because his daughter got taken away by her mom to Montana and he was upset about it. I was very supportive, and helped him so much trying to get his life back together-getting in school, getting his car out of towing and fixed, getting signed up for a suboxone program. And he made it very clear how much in love with me he was and even went as far as to say he "loves me as much as he loves his dad and his daughter" which is HUGE! He Always said "I'd marry you tomorrow if you wanted" and that it was fate we were back together. Even took me to Montana with him to meet his daughter. He got worse and worse with the heroin, and it went on for a couple months of him shooting up. In the last couple weeks of our relationship he started acting really distant and not affectionate and I would ask what was wrong and he'd get really mad and say he hated "reasurring me all the time". But he never really did, and I tried to just deal with it. He acted like he didn't want to be with me at all, we were spending more time with his friends instead of alone and he would just ignore me. One day I came home from work and had left 10 minutes early so I could help him get all the things done he needed to do. (this was all I did after work every day, was things for him). Traffic was bad and when I got home he was ****** because he didn't think we had time to get everything done. I was quiet in the car because he was in a bad mood, and I was upset that he would be mad at me when all I do is sacrafice everything I have to do, for him. Finally he said "well you really don't want to be around me". Anyways, this resulted in me breaking up with him because he needed to realize I can't be treated like that. He just kept saying "break up with me, I don't give a *****. He went inside somewhere in the midst of this and I went through his phone and found nasty, sexual texts from his ex girlfriend. This hurt so bad. How did his feelings for me flip so much??? I'm so sad and hurt and confused because I don't know what was real. Was it the drugs talking when he said he cared about me, or when he acted like he didn't? I don't know who he really is now!! He went to Montana the next day to see his daughter and I sent him so many texts explaining how I will care about him and love him forever, but can't be treated badly anymore. And he ignored me...until the day he started his suboxone which was 3 days ago and he started texting back. Help me??? Does he love me or was it just drugs talking?? I don't know what to think and I will love him the rest of my life no matter what and I will always worry about him. I want to be there for him...I've always wanted to be WITH him...but I know I can't if he treats me bad. But then I wonder if he'd be different off of drugs, but don't know if I want to make that mistake again. And he's such an addict I'd be so afraid he'd relapse.
    I don't know what to do or think...I've been looking up so many things about your emotions and behavior while you're on drugs but can't get a clear answer. I'm so scared for him...everyone I talk to thinks he'll start again and won't live more than a few years.

     
    Old 11-15-2006, 02:03 PM   #11
    kim4074
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    Here is the sad truth!!! RUN RUN RUN! Get the hell out of there as fast as you can. He will not stop for you or for anyone, he will stop when he wants to and there is nothing you can do. I know its easier said than done, but man you will still be singing this song 5yrs down the road. He will steal, cheat, lie, sell all you own and not bat an eye. I was with a crack addict for 3yrs I thought I could change him I would believe his lies and when he said he would stop I believed him. Boy I got suckered for 3yrs. Not worth it 10yrs later he still smokes crack nothing I said or did helped him, he cant help himself. Dont give any $ and get out as fast as you can. Sorry but thats the bitter truth all you can do is save yourself you cannot save him. Let him hit his bottom on his own dont let him take you on that ride cause boy its not fun. Best wishes Kim

     
    Old 11-15-2006, 02:11 PM   #12
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    Have you ever asked him if he remembered saying those things to you? If he was high and most likley he was he probably wont remember a word he said to you. He probably got mad at you for being late because he NEEDED his fix, they get really irritable when the w/d's hit and they cant get a fix. I would not consider getting back with him until he has at least 6mos sobriety and is working a program. All this time you were together it was you living for him. Now go and live for you and find someone who will truley love you more than drugs since that will be his first love for a while until he is clean. Right now he is having a moment of clarity and is scared, whatever you do let him do this himself let him learn how to live and let him learn how to treat people. You did nothing wrong, you werent dealing with the person you thought you were you were dealing with an addiction an addict. His first love was heroin you maybe second on that list but unfortunatly that was his love he needed it to live and breath..... Remember You didnt cause it, You cant fix it, You cant cure it. You can help yourself set up boundries and stick to them the minute he breaks those boundries your done. Bottom line! Good luck and best wishes. Kim

     
    Old 11-16-2006, 06:19 AM   #13
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    I think you braking up with him was the best choice. I am a recovering drug addict and have been clean for almost five years. Crack is very powerful and shooting cocain is even more powerful. He might have been able to share his story of that era with you but you could never have any real vision of what that is like. I shot cocain for a while and it was a nightmare. The thing is no matter how much he loves you or what he wants most ,crack and cocain has to run it's course in his life. By leaving now you are saving yourself a lot of heartache, disapointments, drama, and pain. You do not want to be around for that....trust me. The user themselves don't want to go through it but they are on auto pilot. Maybe down the road you will cross paths again and he will have gotten clean. It is normal for you to be angry and feel diseaved. Imagine that times 50. He is on his way back to the point where he obviously tried to get off the needle and clean up his life. He will be right back there. I have done the same exact thing. It sucked. good luck.

     
    Old 11-16-2006, 06:27 AM   #14
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    Re: my boyfriend has been smoking crack :-(

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by shananana
    I am going through the same thing. I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago. I've known him and loved him and cared about him for 7 years. Since we were 14. We are 21 now. We were together for 6 months when we were 14 and never really got back together but always had a "thing" whenever we saw eachother, and he's been the only one I've ever felt like this about. We've ran into eachother randomly twice in Seattle, which isn't where we've known eachother from so it's so crazy and just a few months ago got back together after our second run in. He has a kid now and alot has changed, and when we got together I knew he had recently gotten into Heroin. He was smoking it and snorting it, and after about a month of dating he started shooting it up because his daughter got taken away by her mom to Montana and he was upset about it. I was very supportive, and helped him so much trying to get his life back together-getting in school, getting his car out of towing and fixed, getting signed up for a suboxone program. And he made it very clear how much in love with me he was and even went as far as to say he "loves me as much as he loves his dad and his daughter" which is HUGE! He Always said "I'd marry you tomorrow if you wanted" and that it was fate we were back together. Even took me to Montana with him to meet his daughter. He got worse and worse with the heroin, and it went on for a couple months of him shooting up. In the last couple weeks of our relationship he started acting really distant and not affectionate and I would ask what was wrong and he'd get really mad and say he hated "reasurring me all the time". But he never really did, and I tried to just deal with it. He acted like he didn't want to be with me at all, we were spending more time with his friends instead of alone and he would just ignore me. One day I came home from work and had left 10 minutes early so I could help him get all the things done he needed to do. (this was all I did after work every day, was things for him). Traffic was bad and when I got home he was ****** because he didn't think we had time to get everything done. I was quiet in the car because he was in a bad mood, and I was upset that he would be mad at me when all I do is sacrafice everything I have to do, for him. Finally he said "well you really don't want to be around me". Anyways, this resulted in me breaking up with him because he needed to realize I can't be treated like that. He just kept saying "break up with me, I don't give a *****. He went inside somewhere in the midst of this and I went through his phone and found nasty, sexual texts from his ex girlfriend. This hurt so bad. How did his feelings for me flip so much??? I'm so sad and hurt and confused because I don't know what was real. Was it the drugs talking when he said he cared about me, or when he acted like he didn't? I don't know who he really is now!! He went to Montana the next day to see his daughter and I sent him so many texts explaining how I will care about him and love him forever, but can't be treated badly anymore. And he ignored me...until the day he started his suboxone which was 3 days ago and he started texting back. Help me??? Does he love me or was it just drugs talking?? I don't know what to think and I will love him the rest of my life no matter what and I will always worry about him. I want to be there for him...I've always wanted to be WITH him...but I know I can't if he treats me bad. But then I wonder if he'd be different off of drugs, but don't know if I want to make that mistake again. And he's such an addict I'd be so afraid he'd relapse.
    I don't know what to do or think...I've been looking up so many things about your emotions and behavior while you're on drugs but can't get a clear answer. I'm so scared for him...everyone I talk to thinks he'll start again and won't live more than a few years.

    Wow. I was on methadone (which is like sub), heroin, eventually crack and cocain too. I understand how you love him but let go now. He is screwed up. Even if he is on sub it is just a substitute for heroin. It is just an easier softer image because the doctor gives it to you and you don't have to steal lie and cheat to get your drugs. Stay away babe. Save yourself because if you are around a sick person getting sicker you will also get sick with them. It is not worth it. And was his ex a user? If so that is where he will run if you leave him or he gets mad every time.

     
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