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Ok she hit a nerve today

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Old 09-30-2007, 02:15 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 310
Ok she hit a nerve today

Hi all,
I know i have really been tearing up this board over the weekend and i am so grateful you all are here. I am having hard time with my daughter as you have read in previous post. I am backing away from her because i cannot take anymore. So today I decided to have lunch with my son and his family and they brought my grandaughter that is my daughters girl. I have pratically raised her but my husband just had surgery and i cannot take care of her now and my daughter actually being clean got her back and my sons wife is mainly the one taking care of little ruthie (7). Well when they arrived to meet me at restaraunt I hadnt seen ruthie in several days and was so glad to see her but she wouldnt talk to me or even look at me. My daughter in law told me that her mother had told her not to talk to grandma when she seen me. Instantly tears came and i couldnt even order when waitress came. I just felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I love this little girl. My daughter in law had to talk to ruthie and tell her it was ok to talk to me that she wouldnt be in any trouble with her mom. How messed up is that. It tore me up. Well ruthie did start talking to me and loving up to mama and finally she said mama I really do love you very much.
My son said he was going to talk to my daughter but i doubt it does any good. She will stop at nothing to hurt me when she gets like this.She goes through these periods where she just wants to inflict pain on me and it happens several times a year.
I also found out from my daughter in law that she tested positive for opiates friday. She called her po and he is sending it out for further analysis. She says the test was wrong because she just started taking wellbutrin and that is what caused her to test post for opiates. Can that be? Also she is on suboxune so I was under the impression that if she used she would not be able to get high or it would make her sick while she was on this drug? Am I incorrect in that? I honestly do not know. I do know that if the analysis comes back as positive she has drug court every weds in front of judge to check her progress and she will have to spend at least ten days in jail. she panics when she is in jail. I ve seen some of her friends get out of jail and it was like nothing my daughter panics like crazy so I cant imagine her doing something to put her back in but she has been weird lately.
Anyhow today has been pretty unproductive for me , I couldnt get it out of my head what she told my grandaughter.I just need to talk and get this out of my head.

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Old 09-30-2007, 03:33 PM   #2
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Ok she hit a nerve today

How sad that your daughter is using her little girl to get back at you. That is doing your granddaughter harm. You know that, yes? I really feel for you.
To answer your questions; no, wellbutrin does not make a test come up positive for opiates; opiates make a drug test come up positive for opiates. suboxone does not show up positve for opiates, they need to actually test for suboxone to find that.
And when you use suboxone, you cannot get high on other opiates. it doesnt harm her when she does this, she just wont get high. the only harm that can come from doing this is that the addict will try desperately to get high and take more and more and even though they dont feel high, they can still overdose from taking too many opiates. but usually, when the addict realizes that they are not getting high, they just give up trying. you need to get the sub out of your system in order to get high again. and because of the long half life of suboxone, this can take days.

i continue to pray for you and your little "ruthie" and your daughter. i hope that she comes to a place of wanting to help herself soon.

hugs, michelle

p.s. will she be able to continue taking sub in jail?

Last edited by oh-notagain; 09-30-2007 at 03:34 PM.

Old 09-30-2007, 07:29 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 310
Re: Ok she hit a nerve today

Originally Posted by oh-notagain View Post

hugs, michelle

p.s. will she be able to continue taking sub in jail?
The last time she was in jail it took them several days to get her prescribed meds to her because the dr that comes to the jail only visits jail once a week and the inmates have awhile to wait to get him to get there meds to them. So I do think if she gets sanctioned by drug court on weds and they send her to jail she will probably go into withdrawls for few days. I am really baffled about this drug test that came up positive. She has been clean for 3 months. But I am going to be strong, I am not going to drug court with her because I will be a mess, but if she did use then i know in my heart she needs to go and it will not be a long period. Thank you for your info on the drug test & sub.
I am going to continue to be quite, because if i confront her about ruthie that is what she wants and will fuel her fire.
thanks tami

Old 09-30-2007, 07:57 PM   #4
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Re: Ok she hit a nerve today

Oh Tami, hon, I am so sorry for all that you're going through right now, and I feel for that little girl...*sigh* Sweetie, there's nothing I can say that will take the pain away, life just really sucks sometimes, but stay close to whatever higher power you can find and know that this too shall pass. Your daughter isn't in her right mind right now. I'm not making excuses for her, but wanting you to know that the addict is talking, and we obviously don't think about all the consequences of our actions. Let her face the upcoming consequences in drug court. Don't be baffled by the positive test. You said in an earlier post that sub was being sold around her..maybe she sold hers and picked the opiates back up, or maybe she was hoping to get her high...either way, she tested hot and there will be repercussions of it. Love her enough to let her face them. You cannot control her actions no matter how much you want to.

Tami, you need to take care of yourself right now. You have a husband who needs you, and it sounds like a granddaughter who loves and needs you too. Focus on them because they had no choice in all this. And focus on yourself. When your daughter has suffered enough, she'll come around. Who knows when that will be. It is different for all of us, and some never do. All you can do is love her. My prayers are with you and your family.


Old 10-01-2007, 02:31 AM   #5
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Re: Ok she hit a nerve today

Dear MS,

I recently posted information on false positives with respect to opiates.

It can be found on:


Anything short of what is explained there and (you know the rest).

When in doubt, post it out.

Old 10-01-2007, 04:16 AM   #6
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Re: Ok she hit a nerve today

Dear Tami,
I am so sorry for the pain you must be going thru. I posted a few days ago about a friend and coworker who's daughter sounds EXACTLY like yours. Besides her addiction, has she been seen for ADD or other pychiatric disorders? My friends daughter, in addition to having ADD is bipolar. While this girls is going downhill fast with her addiction, she does have the other problems that I think trigger the nastiness towards her mother and family.
Their situation has not gotten any better but my friend has stopped taking her nasty calls and has come to the conclusion that she has done all she can for her daughter. I pray your daughter will recover and if not, you can find the strenghth to hang up on her or throw her out of your house or wherever if she is acting ugly to you. You deserve better and happiness!


Old 10-01-2007, 09:13 PM   #7
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 310
Re: Ok she hit a nerve today

Thank you for your encouragement and wise words. I have often wondered if my daughter is also bi polar & add. Her moods have always been extreme and she cannot even when clean focus on things for very long. she is always juggling so many things and never gets anything done. But her nastiness and fowl mouth is just to much to handle. I have been dealing with it to long and maybe because i am gettng older im just plain sick of being treated like dirt.
Thank you very much for your reply I truly appreciate it.

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