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  • Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

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    Old 05-31-2008, 11:31 AM   #1
    binkyholder
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    Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Just found out my Niece is doing Crystal Meth.

    She is smoking it 7 times a day. I've heard this is excessive and that's she's basically killing herself.

    Is she on her death bed? How much longer will she survive if it isn't stopped?

    TIA

     
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    Old 05-31-2008, 12:09 PM   #2
    flintrock
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    if she's smoking meth she's an addict no matter how much she's smoking. She needs help. How old is she? if she's underage, I'd commit her to an in-patient rehab. if not, it's up to her. if you've ever watched the show "Intervention" you know it has to be her choice. or she won't quit. Cut off all ties with her...have a family interevention. Tell her no one will have anything to do with her until she gets help. Don't give her money no matter what.
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    Old 05-31-2008, 12:29 PM   #3
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    Lightbulb Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by binkyholder View Post
    Just found out my Niece is doing Crystal Meth.

    She is smoking it 7 times a day. I've heard this is excessive and that's she's basically killing herself.

    Is she on her death bed? How much longer will she survive if it isn't stopped?

    TIA
    I don't believe in the idea of cutting off all contact with an active addict. How will they know that they are still loved if no one has anything to do with them? I think that contact should be limited, and of course never involve giving money, but that doesn't mean you can't take them out for coffee or a meal to let them know that you care very much about them and will be there for them when they are ready to make a change.

     
    Old 05-31-2008, 01:30 PM   #4
    binkyholder
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Lisa is an adult.

    We are in the process of intervention, but nothing can be done for another 5 days.

    She is at a point where she has lost all hope in life, she said she is dieing. Physically looks like she is deteriorating (but not typical meth look yet). We told her we love her and that there is hope that one day she will be working, living, loving again.

    Her parents have cut off all money and contact with her. She does have one friend left in her life who takes her for groceries and necessities.

    The reason I asked about her smoking it 7 times a day was because I wanted to know if she will fully recover or will she be damaged for life. I was told most users use it once a day.

    Is she going to survive?

     
    Old 05-31-2008, 01:56 PM   #5
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    No, once a day is not a truth. I am speaking from experience with a loved one. addicts have to know you will not support them or their habit. tough love is the only way. An addict will suck you dry and take your heart and crush it. they don't care about anything but the drug. sad, but true!!
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    Old 05-31-2008, 02:56 PM   #6
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Ok... I was a meth user for a year... I did way more than 7 times a day... it is a horribly addicting drug. It is powerful, powerful, powerful. The only way is to force it out of her system. I know she is an adult, so was I... but the only thing that worked was literally locking me in a room and letting it clear my system. I even had to be watched until I no longer wanted it anymore.

    As far as tough love... I have mixed feelings. No, you should NOT give her money, but this does not mean she will not find other ways to get it. When I felt that no one cared about me, all the more reason for me to do drugs. No one cared anyway, so what did it matter? Making her feel that no one cares is not the right answer. Meth makes you angry, and her anger will drive her to do MORE drugs. This is NOT what you want. Be firm, but still loving. Tell her you will NOT give her money but if she wants to quit, you will be there for her. Let her know you love her, but don't enable her. She will take you for all you are worth if you give her even a penny. I would not leave her alone in your house though as she will most likely steal from you to get money for drugs. I stole from my own mother... sad, but true. The drug is powerful.

    Most importantly know... it is NOT her fault. Her fault for starting the drug, yes, but continuing it, no. Meth is EXTREMELY POWERFUL and it drives you to do things you would never normally do. Trust me when I say that as a mother who gave my one and only son to his horrible father and his 19 year old girlfriend for 4-5 days at a time without seeing him so that I did not have to bother with looking after him. My whole purpose in life was to get more drugs.

    The only, only way... is to force it out of her system. I guess you really can't lock her in a room, but if she will allow you to, do it. Be there the whole time as withdrawl from meth is horrible. she will throw up and it will be gross... sometimes like black tar. She will need you to help her through that and make her believe there is a reason to stop. Most drug users start because they feel no one cares, life is pointless, or some other sad reason... don't add to that. Be there for her, but don't enable her. Just be there emotionally, that's all. Give her a reason to quit. Sometimes she needs to hit rock bottom before she will realize it. And all you can do is watch. It's hard, but sometimes that is the only way. Just be there when she's trying to climb out of that hole... my mom was the only way I could have gotten out of it.

    Good luck, sorry so long, but meth is a big deal to me as it completely ruined my life. I hope you find some peace and can help her. I know how horrible this is.... any other questions, just ask!

     
    Old 05-31-2008, 07:49 PM   #7
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    i saw a special once called "the faces of meth" that showed the difference in people after 4 years on meth. most of them--you couldn't even tell it was the same person. it was shocking and sad. you ask if your neice is on her death bed. we can't know just over the internet, but she may be headed that way. they also showed brain scans--meth literally eats holes in the brain, and they said only 6% ever recover. those are pretty scary odds. i never tried meth, but i was taking 80 lortab a day and shooting morphine, demerol, fentynal etc.. detox was a nightmare and i can tell you that if all my family had turned their back on me and did the "tough love" attitude, i'd probably be dead. people need to know their families and friends care. yes--do not give them money, but don't turn your back on them!! she absolutely needs in-patient detox!! followed up by a treatment where she stays for at least 28 days, maybe a half-way house after that. but if SHE doesn't want it--sadly, there is nothing you can do.

     
    Old 05-31-2008, 10:47 PM   #8
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Thank you so MUCH for your advice.

    She does not know at this point we know she has this addiction.

    There is so much to say, but so little time. This is just the tip of the iceburg.

    Thank you again.

    Last edited by binkyholder; 06-01-2008 at 08:26 AM. Reason: personal reasons

     
    Old 06-01-2008, 12:10 AM   #9
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Binky, She has to get the drug out of her system before she can be reasoned with. I'd just stick to getting her to go to rehab for now. My prayers are with you all.

    RTBD

     
    Old 06-01-2008, 11:44 AM   #10
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Yes Binky, RTBD is right, she does need to drug out of her system as meth completely warps your mind. The only times I ever thought about stopping was when I didn't do the drug for a few days. The only reason I didn't do the drug was because I could not find enough money. But when I had it out of me long enough, I remembered my son, my old life, and I wanted it back. But then in a few days, somehow I would gain access to meth and started back again. The addiction is so powerful. So if you can get it out of her and keep watch of her that is good. It took me a year to truly not want it anymore. I relapsed about three times over that year, just doing it once. But it didn't feel as good anymore. It felt awful. Just invite her over and lock her up!! No, I wish it were that easy, but it's not. Maybe you can convince her to stay with you or someone, or just get her into rehab. Good luck again.

     
    Old 06-02-2008, 02:36 PM   #11
    binkyholder
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Here is the situation now.

    She has left messages on family members phone saying she is going to kill her mom.

    They are going to press charges and detain her for a couple days and then do the intervention.

    She still doesn't know that her aunties/uncles know she is addicted. Should we start telling her we do...or do we wait for the intervention????

    God this is so stressful. Somebody help me know what the right thing is to do.

     
    Old 06-02-2008, 03:56 PM   #12
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Hi Binky,

    What a tough situation for your family. And I don't know why, but young people with problems always seem to want to blame everything on poor Mom. At this point, if she's going to be detained and then the intervention, you may as well wait for the intervention. She'll be going thru some hefty withdrawals while detained and anything anyone says to her will go in one ear and out the other.
    Take this time to come up with a list of her evil deeds and how her actions have affected not only her, but her family. I'm sure it will be very emotional so it's best to have your "notes" with you.

    Wishing you the best,

    JB

     
    Old 06-03-2008, 11:33 AM   #13
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    totally agree with grannyo!!

     
    Old 06-03-2008, 12:23 PM   #14
    binkyholder
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Well after a day of hell, I finally had to tell her I know about her addiction. I told her I loved and cared about her and offered to get her help.

    But she is denying it to no end. She says she hates me. She said her hair is falling out b/c of emotional abuse. What more can I do. I guess just wait till intervention.


     
    Old 06-03-2008, 03:18 PM   #15
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    Re: Niece doing Meth - Need Questions Answered

    Wow binkey I am so sorry for all the hell you and your family are going through.I know nothing about meth and have no advice ,Just wanted to let you know that I will pray for you and your family.I hope everything works out in a positive way.
    Daisey

     
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