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need answers! brother relapsed after 4 yrs.

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Old 07-28-2008, 12:28 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1
baxter37 HB User
need answers! brother relapsed after 4 yrs.

Could someone please shed some light on relapse please. My brother has
been a cocaine addict for 20 yrs. He has been in and out of rehabs ( I lost
count after 17) He never had more then 9 months sober until 4 years ago.
Something finally clicked or he hit "his" rock bottom (I thought he hit bottom
15 times before that). He was doing fabulous. He started a successful business, he reastablished his credit, he was going to regular meetings, he
is very involved in the AA community, A true success story so I thought.

He was supposed to get married on wed. (yes, the day after tomorrow). He has been very stressed out the last week, still going to meetings, seeing his
therapist etc. I could sense a problem and told him he does not have to get
married, he can walk away now, the wedding should not cause you this much
stress, if you are uncertain it's okay, better now then in a year. He continued
to tell me that he loves 'her' and he is just stressed with work and the final
arrangements. Sat. night he left in the middle of the night to 'use'. He has
not made contact with family but has made a call to his sponsor that was around 5am sunday morning. Nobody has heard from him after that. His fiance
had to make the calls to all guests etc. that the wedding is off and she has
not heard from him either. His manager is taking care of the business and has
frozen all company credit cards, accounts, etc. We know between midnight sat. and 9am this morning he has already gone thru about $2,000.00.

His phone is off, I have left messages and texts telling him I love him and I am
here to help etc. along with the rest of the family and his whole support system in the sobriety community. NOW, my questions:

How does this happen? Is it premeditated? I know how his cycle worked in
the past, he would go M.I.A. until he ran out of money and then he would surface and go into detox, rehab etc. This time I really feel is different. There
is so much at stake now. His business, his fiance, his reputation in the community, the wedding, and much more. I don't know how he is going to be
able to deal with the ramifications when the depression sets in. OH, his drug of choice is Crack.

Could someone please shed some light on what he is going thru mentally right
now? Does the addict have to keep a constant high so the depression won't
hit? Is he able to think about anything other then the drug at this point? Is he
checking his messages or does he not want to hear the voices? What does he
do all day? Do you get high and then sleep it off or are you awake and continue smoking crack until you run out and then go get more until the money runs out? I am sorry for my ridiculous questions but I really want to know what is happening to him right now.

I know the whole drill about be there for him let him know when he is ready to get help we are here...... I am and will continue that part, but I want to know what the addict is feeling and doing when they relapse. How much crack can he go thru in 24 hrs. How long does the high last? after being sober
for 4 years what can this do to someone mentally and physically when your body is not used to it?

Sorry for going on and on, I just can't concentrate on anything but this. I am
in such a state of denial, confusion everything. I really thought he did it this
time. It has been 4 years since I have had all of these emotions and it really
puts you right back into it like you never left.

I would greatly appreciate any insight that anyone can give. To hear from a
recovering crack/cocaine addict would be so helpful. Thank you all for taking
the time to read this.

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