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My Hubby is addcited to Cocaine

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Old 12-27-2011, 09:27 AM   #1
Yellow Lillies
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 3
Yellow Lillies HB User
My Hubby is addcited to Cocaine

While we aren't married, we have been together for over 5 years. We also have a 3 1/2 year old daughter.

Here is my story.

My hubby cheated on me on or about May of 2011. He said the relationship was over with "her" but he never apologized for hurting me.

I kicked his a$$ out but took him back about a week later. Our hydro got cut off, so I had to go pay the bill to get it back on. I also had to leave a $1000.00 deposit to do so.

I didn't realize a problem as of yet, but I noticed he complained of never having money even though I paid his insurance on his truck, I paid the hydro, I paid the Gas bill, I paid the TV bill, I paid the phone bills, I also paid the nanny, and paid for the groceries. After he cheated, I made him pay his own insurance. I still pay for the rest.

My hubby hasn't contributed financially for some time, he says I am a hoarder of my own money.

My hubby doesn't spend a lot of time with me or my daughter. In fact, on Christmas day, he spent under an hour with her. I felt like we were intruding on his time.

He told me in November that he doesn't like the person he is becoming and is sorry for being mean to me. He said that he is trying to change, yet, at the beginning of December, he said he's leaving, that he's tired of "going down the same road again". I told him I was tired of being punished for his cheating. He gets angry if I "miss" his call and swears at me yet, he deliberately avoids my calls. He spends most days in bed (when he isn't working) and the nights in the garage. I don't even see him anymore. I have a place, and my daughter and I are moving as of January 2012.

I only found out recently that he has been using, and now he has now quarms about using in front of me in the garage. This seems like a ritual each Thursday, but I am sure there are other days too, that I am not aware of. For Christmas, we went to a friend of ours, where the husband there was using as well. The husband and my hubby stayed downstairs the entire time, and didn't even grab a plate of food that we slaved over to cook for the dinner. Initially, I wasn't going to go, but he asked me to, so I did. I felt like I was a babysitter for my own child so my hubby can "coke out" downstairs.

He is very mean to me, rarely speaks to me, and I am lost, confused, and really hurt. I am afraid for my daughter. I know she is only 3, but I never wanted her to go through this. She rarely sees her daddy, if at all.

My sister suggested alanon so I can realize that this isn't my fault.

I do love him, well, the man he was... This new guy??? He is horrible.

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dkny1966 (12-28-2011)
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:31 PM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago,IL cook
Posts: 65
Outtapain HB User
Re: My Hubby is addcited to Cocaine

Honey the best thing you can do is move out with your daughter as soon as possible. Its not a safe or healthy enviorment for either of you to be in. It definatly sounds like he is using more then just on thursdays. His behavior is erratic and if he never has any money and you are paying all the bills then its pretty clear where it is going.

Alanon might help but he has to be ready to help there is nothing you can do to make him change he has to want to change. Maybe once you guys move out he will clean up realizing that he cant treat you like that and get away with it . It doesnt sounds either like he is to concerned about being a father or a husband right now. He needs help and soon. If not your marriage is over if its not already. Does his other family member know about this?? Is there anyone who is close to him who does not use who can help you talk to him?? Dont let him talk you into staying just because he wants his bills paid. I understand you love him but you need to get out. You need to do whats best for you and her and not be neglected and used. Thats what he is doing.

He knows you are paying all the bills so he doesnt care if he blows all his money on drugs. He is not worried about spending time with his kid or you all he is worried about is getting high. Please seek some professional help and get yourself out of there as soon as possible.

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