Father's prostate cancer has spread (again) panic has set in!

tbhans8644

Hello,

I'm hoping a few of you can shed some light. About 3 years ago my father had an elevated PSA to later find out he had prostate cancer. He went through hormone treatment and was in remission. It then spread to his spine and had radiation which took care of it. About two weeks ago when talking to him on the phone he was saying he was having trouble "getting around" because he thought he had a pinched nerve. After going back and forth with his doctor he finally got an MRI where it was revealed he had a tumor on his spine and tail bone. His doctor wanted him to start radiation right away but he wants to wait until he comes up to visit me for Christmas so it doesn't interfere with his plans.

My mother and brother are deceased so it's only me. Since I am not there to go with him to his appointments etc... I asked if I could talk to his doctor to ask him questions to which he said no. He told me he's not dying of cancer but also tells me I need to be ready for the day he is no longer here. I'm having trouble coming up with a plan on how I can address the issue with my father without interrogating him. My father is very stubborn but also doesn't want his issues effecting me.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have a wonderfully supportive wife and in-laws but none of which have encountered cancer before other than myself when my mom passed away from breast/lung cancer. Thank you for your time.