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At a crossroads....

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Old 05-01-2007, 05:57 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: La Mirada, California
Posts: 1,126
snoopy63 HB User
At a crossroads....

Luckily my husband has been having less pain since they had to take the chest tube out.
Unfortunately..he still doesnt eat or drink that much...
he was supposed to start chemo today... I was hoping that would happen b/c just maybe it might shrink the cancer enough that he could enjoy some of the time he has left... get out and do something etc etc...go to the movies..out to dinner...just anything...
he wasnt up to going today and wanted to speak to the onc. She called this afternoon and he asked her specifically.. what his current prognosis is..
she said less than 6 months... then said ...a lot less... then clarified..probaby 3-4 months... he asked her if the chemo would prolong his life...she said maybe...maybe not...but that is why they would want to try. But again stated she would let him know if it wasnt working and when he should stop. He told her we would call back tomorrow and give an answer...
This is it really.. do we fight or do we give in and let it run its course...
He is wanting to do chemo but is trying to find the point if there is not a good chance to help... I told him about many stories I have read here and other places where people were only given a short pd of time like him but were still around 18mo later... i at least gave him something to think about..
i told him we could try and always stop if it doesnt look like it was working...

he said he was just concerned about going bald... LOL! he was joking b/c he already is partially bald...just normal male baldness... he lost a lot of his hair early...
anyway... I think he wants to start and see what happens...i am glad he hasnt totally given up..that is a good sign... I am worried about his state of mind right now... there isnt much I can do for him except be here...
he mentioned he had better get busy getting rid of his things etc etc....
I didnt want him to have to worry about all of that but if it makes him feel better do be actively doing something...then I wont stop him....
I have been trying to take as much burden off of him as possible... he has enough to deal with...

it is so hard watching things on TV... something like them talking about the upcoming college football season... is sad... he must be thinking about not being able to see it... I grad from USC and he is a big UCLA fan so that has been a big deal with us... it will be so hard watching the game this year if he is not around...not sure i can/will...

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Old 05-01-2007, 07:06 PM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: central florida
Posts: 87
bkerber HB User
Re: At a crossroads....

Snoopy, I know what you're going through. One year ago today my mom lost her fight with lung cancer. Dad lost his 5 days later. My sister and I were caretakers from the time they found out (Jan 06 for Dad , March 06 for Mom)
We too had the same feelings as you about what they must be thinking about the future. It was real hard. Neither one of them took chemo. All the decision making was left to them. We supported them. My parents gave alot of personal things away while they were sick. I dont know why but I suppose they had a need for some reason. Im so, so sorry you are having to deal with this and I want you to know that I understand where you are right now and I hope that you have strength and support. Take care.

Old 05-02-2007, 07:23 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2003
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snoopy63 HB User
Re: At a crossroads....

Thank you...
I am so sorry you lost both your parents to this terrible disease and so close together. I just cant imagine what you and your sister were going through. It seems like all we can do at times is be spectators...almost like watching TV and not having any control of the story! I too am letting him handle this how he wants to and will support whatever decision he makes...I owe him that at least...
I guess your parents and my husband felt/feel that they need(ed) to still do whatever to take care of us. I am sure it is part of "tieing up loose ends"...
I am sure if I were in that situation I would feel the same urge to take care of my know?

Old 05-02-2007, 08:52 PM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Irvine, CA
Posts: 614
Kimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB User
Re: At a crossroads....

Hi Snoopy....sending you a big hug from Irvine! Regarding what route to take...chemo or no chemo...tough one to answer and each person is so different. We were fortunate even though Stan had cancer throughout his entire body, he was still strong so he went forward with chemo. When he was diagnosed they gave him 2-6 months to live with no treatment. With treatment they gave him 8-16 months. (he is on month 23) The doctor is always amazed at how he outlived what they ever thought. Granted it is just a prediction and no one really knows how long it takes for the cancer to take over the body, but in Stan's case given how extensive they never thought he would make it this long. Also, he just finished his 5th line of chemo, which most people cannot do. I won't lie...things are not good right now, but we did have some wonderful times so I do pray you can have some more wonderful times with your husband and that he can be comfortable. The first time my husband had chemo he was sick from it, but once it started working his pain eased up quite a bit.
I wish I had an answer for you and all the others fighting this dreadful disease.
You stay strong Snoopy!

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