It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Message Board

My father in law.

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-08-2008, 04:01 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,768
blokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB Userblokecalledkev HB User
My father in law.

Hi everybody,

I would really appreciate some help and support on an issue we have at the moment.

My wife’s father dropped a bomb shell last week and informed us he has cancer and it is terminal. He is 75 years old, very straight forward and ferociously independent; he simply hates having to depend on anybody. Equally so he is very dismissive of anybody who tries to question him about this, simply stating he has been informed he as “gut” cancer and it is terminal.

Of course we are all very upset but given time I have started to rationalise and think about this and this is where, hopefully some of you guys can offer help and assistance.

The facts are that he is passing blood; he has dreadful pains in his stomach area and as such as been to his GP for blood tests. The results of which, according to him, confirms that he as cancer and not only that it is beyond treatment. To the best of our knowledge he has been nowhere near a cancer dept in a hospital, as had no further tests i.e. MRI, CT, X-rays or a biopsy. But he insists that his GP, based on the results of this blood test has informed him he is thermally ill. Again to the best of our knowledge he as absolutely no referral anywhere for further examination and tests.

The more I think about this the more concerned I become and would really appreciate advice. Can this happen? Can a blood test reveal such a thing? Is my father in law simply jumping to conclusions?

I actually find it hard to believe, even though we are very upset,that such a diagnosis can come from a blood test.

We have tried to talk to his GP but he simply refuses to discuss my father in laws medical history with me or my wife.

We are kind of at a loss at to what to do or where to turn to seek help and advice on this issue.

I would also like to add that he as always “enjoyed” a drink but for sometime now he has been seriously hitting the bottle, which makes it very difficult for us to discuss this with him. Since he told us this, we have real concerns about his welfare as he lives alone in an OAP flat. Again we are met with a stone wall when we try to discuss this with his GP.

We are concerned that he simply has heard the word cancer and pressed the self destruct button.

Any advice would be welcome.

Last edited by blokecalledkev; 06-08-2008 at 06:24 PM.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 06-08-2008, 04:57 PM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: liverpool, merseyside, united kingdom
Posts: 12
fizzymoon1 HB User
Re: My father in law.

Kev, just read your message and my heart goes out to you. My Auntie died in january from pancreatic cancer. She had a blood test which detected it also in February my mum died from myeloma and again her cancer was detected in blood tests. I dont know what your father in laws diagnosis was but what i do know is that even though cancer can be picked up in blood tests more tests are carried out to confirm diagnosis, prognosis and possible treatment and your father in law should have been referred to the hospital. Maybe he has gone into denial and the only way he can cope is by shutting down. Is there anyone else in your family who can speak to him? or maybe you could write him a letter putting down everything you want to say. Sadly his doctor canot discuss his condition with you because of privacy rules but it is possible as you say that he could be thinking the worst and jumping the gun. There are a lot of cancer support groups so perhaps they could help. I know they offer a lot of good advice as well as emotional support because they helped my family a lot. I will keep you in my prayers and hope things turn out ok for you. Let us know how you get on and sorry i could not offer more help.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Need advice for father daughter relationship.. Michelle94 Relationship Health 6 05-27-2008 06:57 AM
Father Has Gone Off the Deep End Liz327 Caregivers 10 04-06-2008 07:50 PM
Father and his children.. mixtinn Relationship Health 5 06-24-2007 03:55 PM
My father Stillsearching Relationship Health 7 11-10-2006 06:41 PM
About my "father" CrimsonClover Relationship Health 12 03-07-2006 07:12 PM
Newbie Here - Introduction - Father Type II Diabetic karihager1982 Diabetes 3 05-25-2005 02:34 PM
Father in law diagnosed with pancreatic cancer lastnight, what to expect? mimirea Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver 3 12-27-2004 09:20 PM
Elderly Father In Law haleysmum Aging Issues 15 11-13-2004 10:52 PM
Relationship with Father silverangel220 Relationship Health 10 06-24-2004 01:17 PM
Just wanting our son to be happy with both his parents and step-father. Winner Parenting Issues 3 08-28-2003 09:12 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:37 PM.

Site owned and operated by™
© 1998-2018™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!