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I'm new here but looking for answers...

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Old 04-21-2012, 08:50 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Pierre
Posts: 2
CF18 HB User
I'm new here but looking for answers...

Hello all, sadly I'm sorry to be here as I'm sure you all are too but I'm glad I found the board. Over the last 25 years my mom (she is 89 now and also has osteoporosis) has dealt with breast cancer and gone through 2 radicals but now is metasticized to the bone. Three years ago they found it and after trial and error we found the Xeloda to work well. Three months ago she fell and broke her hip, they repaired that and during her rehab one of her vertebrae shattered and she went in for the 'bone gluing' procedure which helped, she completed her therapy and went home. Prior to the back procedure they did a complete body MRI to be sure she was eligible and they found that the cancer had taken off like wildfire and they were possible tumors in her brain as well. Two days after coming home she went downhill FAST. Last Thursday she went home and was doing very well the first day, since then we have had hospice start and the doctors tell us that all we can do is pain management. I can't believe it happened this fast. I live 100 miles away and she lives with my sister so she's never alone but I'm totally shocked at the speed it has taken over. She is on Morphine and Valium, the pain she cries about may or may not be real with the way her mind is functioning now so we don't want to over-medicate her but it's heartbreaking to see her in agony. She says she's ready to go all the time. I guess my question here is... through experience, what have you seen as a timeline for life expectancy? If you need more info about her symptoms just ask... or if there is something I need to look for I'm like to know. I'm guessing 2 weeks to 2 months at the best, I don't want to lose her but it's not really about me now, I don't want her to be in this pain. Since my sister is her primary caregiver I don't have access to the doctors which I would understand better then she does since she is all about the drama. I could call the doctors but that would start a family war mom doesn't need to hear on her lucid days. I just want to know what you all have experienced and what to expect. It's killing me but not knowing what to expect is worse. I look forward to all your responses. Thanks for your time.

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Old 05-06-2012, 08:13 AM   #2
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 16
fldinosaur HB User
Re: I'm new here but looking for answers...

Sorry to hear the pain you're going through. Once the cancer has mestasticised (sp) it's near hopeless. Hospice doesn't usually take over unless expectancy is 6 months or less.

My wife went in for back pain and was diagnosed with stage 4 (which sounds like what your mom is in) gallbladder cancer. The doc gave her 3-6 months and she lasted a few days short of 3 months. All Hospice does in pain management and although it seems they might be over doing it with the medication (something I still have trouble with after 2 years), it is best your mom is pain free, even if that means totally knocked out.

Just be sure to let your mom know how much you love her and means to you. It will help her spirit, as well as yours.

Old 05-06-2012, 06:33 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Pierre
Posts: 2
CF18 HB User
Re: I'm new here but looking for answers...

Thanks for the reply but we buried her yesterday, she passed 2 days after I posted the thread. She made it one week after leaving the nursing home. It was too fast for me but best for her, I know...

Last edited by CF18; 05-06-2012 at 06:34 PM.

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