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    Old 01-13-2017, 01:08 PM   #1
    alonebp
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    Need help with bipolar teenage daughter

    My teenage daughter has bipolar;
    We nurtured our two daughters gave them love and the importance of education and being good to others. A year and a half ago my teenage daughter was diagnosed with bipolar and life seems will never be the same for us.

    Things changed for her around her 14th birthday. She developed an eating disorder that we were not aware of and when her mother discovered it, I did not understand it. We divorced when she was 13 so I am not always with her. For Christmas she said the only thing she wants is to find out what is going on and get therapy. We were fortunate in finding a very loving and caring inpatient program in Tampa for teenage eating disorders and anorexia. We visited every weekend for eight weeks and were comforted in knowing she was improving, gaining her weight back, listening to her therapists and looking forward to coming home again.

    Within a few months after her eating disorder treatment she started wearing gothic clothes, black lipstick, only tie-die t shirts and black shoes. She began dying her hair jet black. Our sweet well behaved daughter was changing and fast. We thought it was a phase in her life but then she started losing friends and gaining new bad ones. Some of them were adults in their 20’s or 30’s. Leaving in the middle of the night and staying out. We tried to get a handle on this but it kept progressing to her doing drugs- mushrooms, opiates, pot, pills, and alcohol. We found empty bottles of booze hidden in her room. We discovered the liquor store a mile away was selling to her. We notified the police about this however they were not interested in doing anything about it. Not even a visit. Many drugs were coming from other students in school. My other daughter explained to me that any drug can be bought at school on any given day. This was also reported to the school however no action was taken I suspect because to avoid bad publicity to a good school.

    She became defiant, mean, wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t talk, she wouldn’t even let us hug her. This all came to an end when she started a rage over her mom for flushing pills and drugs down the toilet. She screamed that they were expensive and demanded her mom pay her for them. This led to her biting, kicking and hitting her mom to which her mom called me to come over for help. When I arrived I tried to restrain her from hitting her. She started hitting me and biting, screaming as loud as she could. I grabbed duck tape and restrained her with it. We did not know what overcame her but thought she was hopped up on some drug. We drove her to the hospital restrained and they suggested admitting her to the mental health area. This was our first experience with mental health issues and we did not understand what was happening or why.

    This happened two more times following. Her mother and sister were now scared of her and we decided we needed inpatient help for her behavior. We live in SW Florida and found getting behavior help for adolescents isn’t easy. We had no idea who to ask, where to go, what to do. We found an inpatient care 3 hours away in Orlando. We visited every weekend for eight weeks and we could not see any improvements. She insisted they were not helping and we could not see any changes we hoped for. During her inpatient they diagnosed her with bipolar and prescribed and administered medication for her illness. 60 days later we brought her home, praying and hoping for the best.

    A year and a half has now passed. We have changed therapists a few times, and medication a few times. She got caught up on her school, back in AP advance classes and enrolled in college classes through high school. She has always done well in school and respects her teachers. She has a part time job that she loves and takes seriously. She has not had problems with either that we know of.

    Within the last few months she has been ill with other issues that have not been resolved or diagnosed. Countless doctor visits, waiting rooms, blood tests and more challenges. She has bone pain, stomach pain, abdominal pain, headaches, nausea, she has thrown up uncontrollably in class and even at her job. She recently decided to stop taking her meds because of fear they are the reason for her not feeling well. Her boyfriend of one year who was no prize to begin with dumped her. Because of her unknown illness she is now missing to much school and is failing this quarter. This is heartbreaking because she worked so hard to get caught back up. During these last few months the outbursts are overwhelmingly scary for us all. She demands and if she does not get she will flip out. She is going out in the middle of the night again, taunting her younger sister, taking things that don’t belong because she is entitled to anything and everything. Any demands from her that are not met will have serious consequences. She Threats of going back to drugs or running away is usually brought up if we do not give her what she wants. If we do not give in to this she gets into a rage. Her poor mom and sister give in to avoid a rage. She will no longer visit with therapists or take medication. Her younger sister and mom feel broken, scared, angry and exhausted. I live 20 minutes away and stay as active in all their lives as possible.

    My daughter was spinning out of control again to the point we needed to do something. I made an appointment for her therapist team to come to the house without her knowing. She saw the car pull in and locked the door and demanded I send them away. I tried to open the door as she resisted she began to hit and bite and kick. She started screaming as loud as anyone could imagine and non stop. This alerted all the neighbors to stand in front of the house. The police arrived and she went to the floor crying uncontrollably demanding it was my fault for pulling her away from the door. The police have been called because of her at least 5 times in the last 1.5 years. The therapist and even the police officer tried to give her a chance to calm down but she would not. They took her to the mental health department at the hospital. She is there right now. Her mom and sister could breathe when she left. I cried. The therapists stayed to comfort us for awhile.

    Since her diagnoses with bipolar we have lived through hell. I never knew anything in life could be this miserable. We have not had any luck with therapists, doctors, medication and we seem all alone with this. Our only family close by is the in-laws an hour away but they resent her for being mean and causing so much pain. They haven’t seen her for at least a year. My mom see’s her not to often but I think she is denial about her granddaughter being mentally ill.

    We have no help. We are all alone in this. We seem to have lost hope. It seems as though bipolar is somewhat common throughout the United States but nobody knows anything about it or to properly treat it. Living in SW Florida our options for any help seem very limited. I am so scared for my daughter’s future as well as ours.

     
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    Old 07-28-2017, 07:13 AM   #2
    sonja342
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    Re: Need help with bipolar teenage daughter

    Hi!

    I know it sounds like a hopeless situation but don't give up! Keep fighting to get her stable. It seems like she is mostly manic, which can be dangerous if not kept to a minimum. She absolutely needs to take her medications. Perhaps the medications were causing all the horrible side effects but that's when she needs to alert the doctor and have him/her change them to something else. It's usually a long time of trial and error before she will find the correct medications. It took me around 7 years of trying something .. going off it for months cause I thought I was better or didn't need the medications .. then back on until around 2 years ago. I started taking my medications like I'm supposed to and it's relieved MOST of my symptoms, not all. Medication is just one part, she also might need CBT therapy or just therapy in general. Which is where they teach her to change her negative thinking and how to properly react to situations. Even though she is on medicine she can still have the mood episodes, they will just be less intense.

    Support and strength from somebody who also has Bipolar disorder.

     
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