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Schizophrenic dating anxiety

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Old 02-01-2018, 06:27 PM   #1
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Schizophrenic dating anxiety

I fear I may be in denial about my partners condition.

My partner has family history with schizophrenia and is only medically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I myself suffer from untreated general anxiety disorder and it results in frequent attacks and over thinking.

I have known my partner for more than a decade and have had a very rocky up and down relationship in the 6 months we have been dating. It's only recently he has disclosed his auditory hallucinations and has not shared what the voices say. He breaks up with me every 2 months or so which results in a huge emotionally over whelming disagreement. Today is our 3rd day of fighting and he stated we were just going to be friends again.

This argument came about because he was going to rescue his ex from the side of the road in my car. This ex has threatened accusations that would cause jail time and for safety I prefer him to stop communicating with her.

During this time he expresses to me he wants the relationship and doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. This is not about sex and he seems to have continuous fears of our relationship being sex based. When we finally decided to be more than friends it was a with benefits deal and then emotions and jumped into a relationship. Now he wants to slow things down. The over thinker in me declared it was because of the ex and reacted with raw emotion and lashing out. After 4 hours of screaming at one another I finally realize that he feels overwhelmed and states he is uncomfortable with me sexually because of the emotions that he feels after sex.

I lack emotion strength and only express anger well. Hence an issue in the relationship as he is very emotionally senstitve. I admit that I am to blame for the emotional neglect that I didn't realize was happening. Again I am not good with emotions. I do well with physical touch, he requires more emotion and feelings.

I am not well educated in showing emotions and after reading some on dating schizophrenics I noticed that a lot of stated experiences say that the schizophrenic is often overwhelmed in a relationship and wants to break it off, the over thinker in me is thinking I make him feel over whelmed and uncomfortable. He states I have too many needs I ask for affection. To hold me, hug me, kiss me on the forehead, show me he cares. He argues that saying the words and his actions show me he loves me. This then becomes an argument.

He tells me there are voices in his head and somehow his thoughts about me over power a lot of the voices. He also has paranoia in the relationship. He has accused me of cheating on him with past lovers, clients, and my boss. As I have read this appears to be common in relationships with schizophrenics. He also has a past where his last 3 partners have cheated.

I have heard that those who experience schizophrenia that they will get so angry and black out. I can relate to this as if I become too emotional I become numb and I don't black out but I block out and don't remember a lot of what has happened or been said. Causing continuing issues.

He will frequently tell me he's not smart and that he wishes he was. This man has many talents and so much knowledge that it breaks my heart to hear him think so low of himself.

I love this man and I can't imagine him not in my life or in any other role than as my partner. As of our last conversation he was giving up on us and just wanted to be friends. Offered booty calls and affection if and when I need it because he would rather I be in his arms than anyone else's but I need to understand that it's not a relationship.

I expressed confusion about him not wanting to have sex and then breaking up with me and offering benefits in which he states I don't acknowledge his feelings and he will do what he has to not to lose me.

Our relationship is so on the rocks I don't know if we are together or not. The stress has caused problems for me related to eating and sleeping.

When I am not near him enough my anxiety spiked and he becomes angry with me. He begins to think that I think he's cheating on me which really I think I need reassurance that I'm still loved.

I have concerns that our relationship is toxic and won't survive. I am terrified that our mental illnesses clash too much and our personalities are destroying the relationship. I would love to be able to talk to someone about this because if we can't work through this I don't want to cause more damage. I want to spend my life with him.

How can I be more emotionally supportive, when I try to be supportive I am accused of treating my partner like a client. He says I have too many needs that are not meat and causes my partner to feel insufficient.

If the relationship isn't over what can I do as a loving partner? My partner is on medication that is not helping and the voices continue. I want to be supportive. I want to love and be loved in return. I am having difficulty separating my thoughts and remain curious if our combines mental illnesses will destroy us or if it's personality or of we really do not make one another happy in a romantic relationship.

My partner is ashamed to think it's schizophrenia and I am embarrassed that I don't recognize and schizophrenic episode I am living through.

Any feedback will be appreciated. Thank you.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-01-2018 at 07:42 PM.

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Old 02-02-2018, 10:46 AM   #2
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Re: Schizophrenic dating anxiety

you say you love him but you know this isn't a healthy have to know this. you can love him until the cows come home, but you can't love him back to good mental health. Please know that this will continue the ups and downs, the breakups and makeups, the roller coaster as long as you allow it. Aren't you tired? I would be. Can you picture the rest of your life like this? I couldn't do it. I myself was married to a bi-polar man for 10 years and after threatening for 10 years to divorce me, one day he did. I just don't want the same thing to happen to someone else. This man isn't stable, anything can happen. I wouldn't subject myself to it if I were you. You can't save him, as much as you'd like to, you're just going to hurt yourself. Think about walking away, because if you don't your life isn't your own anymore.....

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