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  • My boyfriend suffering with depression

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    Old 06-10-2018, 07:03 AM   #1
    KSDSLC
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    My boyfriend suffering with depression

    Sorry if this has already been covered but I’m really in need of some help. Ok so bit of a lengthy one. I have been with my boyfriend for around 8 months and learnt about his depression about 3 months into the relationship. He never really spoke about it after he had told me and I never wanted to push him on it. Fast forward a month and I’m woken up by a call from him in the middle of the night saying he can’t do it anymore and that he just wants to end it all, and just for more info he had been drinking.

    Ended up just going to sleep and messaging me in the morning saying sorry etc and that he’s really trying which I 100% believe. Everything was fine for a couple of months until I was abroad and I get messages again saying he can’t do it anymore, managed to contact one of his friends who speedily got round there and spoke to him, again he had been drinking. This occurred again later in the week finally resulting in me calling the police and telling them he was taking about taking his own life.

    But due to me being unaware wether he had taken anything or had any thing he could harm himself with hey couldn’t force entry and had no answer at the door, again he had been drinking. Woke up in the morning to texts saying he’s sorry and he doesn’t know what wrong with him, told him I had called the police and that they would be calling him that day. He wasn’t angry with me like I expected but actually thanked me. I asked him that if he’s comfortable to do so if we could talk about it, to which he agreed. He said he try’s so hard every day to get through and be positive but he only feels like there’s one option. I asked him if he would like my opinion or input and he said yes, I suggested that he needs to seek help wether it be anti depressants, therapy or some other form of help. I am giving everything to help him but I can’t help but feel hopeless as there’s only so much I can do. He spoke about it again this morning saying he only had one option to which i told him there is never just one option, but he is refusing to get help as he says he is just a lost cause. He had been drinking until the early hours of this morning. I just don’t know what else I can do.

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    Old 06-11-2018, 03:52 AM   #2
    ankaa
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    Re: My boyfriend suffering with depression

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KSDSLC View Post
    I am giving everything to help him but I canít help but feel hopeless as thereís only so much I can do. He spoke about it again this morning saying he only had one option to which i told him there is never just one option, but he is refusing to get help as he says he is just a lost cause. He had been drinking until the early hours of this morning. I just donít know what else I can do.

    Really you are kind enough to him as some of the girls never like to care for a depressed man. You take him out in natural environment.Speak encouraging words.Ask him to do yoga and meditation.He should feel that a soul is with him to support at this stage.Wish him get out of the depression very soon.

     
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    Old 06-13-2018, 07:45 AM   #3
    yayagirl
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    Re: My boyfriend suffering with depression

    Dear KSDSLC,

    He has to see he needs help and want to get help. You can't be his girlfriend and also his doctor and counselor.

    A boyfriend/mate has to be able to stand on his own two feet and act responsibly or he is not mate material. He is acting like a helpless child.

    I think the best message you could give him is that you expect him to stop the alcohol and take responsibility for himself. Can you imagine what it would be like to have children with someone like that? Hon, take care of your own self first and make healthy choices for your own life.

    It never helps anyone to feel sorry for them. People behave like what we allow them to behave around us. Your expectations of your boyfriend is reasonable. You can run after him but you cannot fix his mistakes.
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    Old 06-20-2018, 06:48 AM   #4
    KSDSLC
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    Re: My boyfriend suffering with depression

    I want to be there for him as I do love him but I have so much going on in my own life. I work 50+ hours a week and also have an immediate family member who is seriously ill. Also mixed with the fact that I struggle to get to sleep at night when heís not with me because Iím so scared heís going to do something. I feel like Iím being tugged in every direction, Iím exhausted. He wonít get help as he says heís taken anti depressants in the past and they just make him worse. But he has agreed he needs to stop drinking on his own as thatís when he gets like this. I have said to him that although I know itís hard for him he needs to try and make some positive changes to his life or the relationship is just not going to work. Felt awful as I feel like I was giving him an ultimatum, but like you said I need to try and take care of myself too.

     
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