It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill Message Board

Another Question

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-05-2005, 12:19 PM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 236
angelblue65 HB User
Another Question

The last couple of weeks, all of a sudden my BF does not want to cuddle any more. We've even discussed this and he doesn't know why. He is otherwise very loving, he hugs and kisses me, and is not standoffish. It's just this one thing. He's either not feeling well, my body temp. is too hot (he's always said this from day one), or he's too hot which makes him uncomfortable. I know in the scheme of things, it's not a big thing but at the same time, it was the one constant that still existed. So many things have "gone away" due to his depression. Whenever I notice something, I'll think long and hard before approaching him about it because I want to make sure I word it in a way that will not make him feel bad. It's always the same. He first says there's nothing wrong, then he'll say it's part of the ebb and flow of a relationship, then he'll finally admit that something's "off" yet he doesn't have an explanation. This is coming from someone who LOVED to cuddle at night and when we woke in the morning. Sometimes, so much so on the weekends that I would have to really urge him to get up. But I always cherished it so I miss it.

Again, I know it's not a big thing but I was curious just the same if this is a typical reaction or if anyone has experienced this before.

When things "go away" due to depression (sorry, for lack of a better way to word it), do these things ever get remembered as something that was enjoyed once the depression lifts?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 07-05-2005, 04:29 PM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota, just moved from California where I lived my whole life.
Posts: 441
polarized13 HB User
Re: Another Question

Hi Angel,

My guess is that it's probably a combination of things.

My husband who normally will humor me with my needed cuddle time will dodge me, and try and get out of it in the summer, my body heat is just too much. ( I can't help I'm so hot!! Just kidding)

Also, we do much, much less of it the longer we're together, mostly it's only when I ask for it.....after ten years I think that's normal ~

And also, as far a bipolar goes, I have times that I don't want to be around anyone, not even my kids, I feel bad saying that. But I just need time to myself, to be alone with my thoughts and decompress. I usually find that time either really early in the morning or late at night, the rest of the time it's the usual family chaos ~ which I love, I just need a break from sometimes.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Relationships do have thier ebbs and flows, and although I wish sometimes things were still the way they were back when we were first together and in each others arms constantly, I know that isn't realistic, and things just change as you get older, and you've been together a long time.

It's nice hearing from you, I hope everything else is going along ok for you guys, and you had a nice holiday yesterday!


Last edited by polarized13; 07-05-2005 at 04:31 PM.

Old 07-05-2005, 04:30 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 317
JustDave4now HB User
Re: Another Question

If I had my guess, being a guy I can think of a couple of things that might cause this. But this is a common complaint.
Like for instance, when its warm or humid, I hate cuddling, Men are usually warm by design, add another body and it gets uncomfortable.
Also if cuddling real close, it might be a bit claustaphobic, most woman cuddle on top of men and sometimes will lay on an arm, and it will get pins and needles and become, well uncomfortable, but we hold back in saying anything LOL, not to hurt your feelings.
Lastly, there are times when I just needed a little space, not space away from my love, but space between us. So I can be comfortable like I would be with a really close friend she is. I enjoy her company very much, but I don't want to be hung on all the time.

But never, never, did at any time did I feel that my love ever waned because I didn't want to cuddle. I think if you make it so its not a big deal, He will come around again, we like it too when we are in the mood. I think woman are just in the mood more often.

Just my two pennies...

Old 07-06-2005, 07:05 AM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 236
angelblue65 HB User
Re: Another Question

Heather and Dave,

Thanks to you both for your insight. It has been much hotter lately and my BF hasn't been feeling well (possibly the meds - I"m not sure). I knew it wasn't personal so much as it just was hard to take.

It's just that it always amazed me because HE was the one who loved to cuddle so much sometimes not wanting to let me go in the morning and I got so used to it and how it became our routine that when that was broken, it was a shock I guess.

Again, not a major thing considering everything else that's going on but when two people share something on the same level and then one drops off, it's just plain hard.

Thanks for indulging me.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
And yet another beloved husband diagnosed with PC JudeNZ Cancer: Prostate 5 05-08-2010 11:35 AM
OCD Drilling - Should I get another one? jzjzjz Foot & Ankle Problems 2 04-30-2010 02:15 PM
who diagnosed you with VN initially? charlotte67 Inner Ear Disorders 12 11-11-2007 10:17 AM
Another question glowing4 Dental Health 2 09-03-2007 08:09 PM
Another post-op question gocatsgo Cancer: Colon 3 01-03-2006 11:26 AM
i want another baby! am i mad?lol!! tallgirl1982 Pregnancy 32 12-14-2005 02:22 AM
sorry...another question from me! :) star_shine_2010 Birth Control 2 06-10-2005 09:30 PM
okay, maybe im just really paranoid, but , i have another question justagirl428 Sexual Health - Teens 4 03-05-2005 07:32 AM
Another case of dizzy mis-information! star803 Inner Ear Disorders 4 08-29-2004 10:32 AM
another question for Kellie plm Asthma 3 06-21-2003 12:14 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:56 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!