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Need help for husband

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Old 10-18-2005, 11:22 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3
mrsidon'tknow HB User
Need help for husband

I don't even know where to start!

I have been married for 10 years and my husband has always had the following characteristics:

he reads double meanings in other people's speech
He has always been somewhat paranoid.
Goes from happy to sad at the drop of a hat
the list goes on...
All types of mental illnesses run in his family from schophrenia to depression, bi polar etc.

About 5 years ago he started some very strange behavior.

He would wake up in the middle of the night and just pace around the house or a few times I awoke to him just sitting there starring at me , which was very scarry! he was completely cold and withdrawn I would repeatedly ask him what is wrong? and he always said nothing ( very angrily). Well after several weeks of this behavior he started acting even more strange .. Like when I came out of the bathroom he would say :" what were you doing in there so long, it doesn't take that long to take a bath.. I heard strange noises through the door.. etc...." To make a long story short ( and this is embarassing ) but he thought I was doing sexual things with myself . It got worse. At one point I was in bed and he got up took the baby monitor with him in the other room and I knew he was in one of his " moods" so I just lay there as quiet and still as I could ( so not to give him a reason to "think" he heard something) but it didn't help about 10 minutes later he came into the room and insisted he heard strange "noises " on the monitor and no matter how hard I tried to convince him he would NOT listen. He punched a hole in the wall just above the bed where I was sleeping..It made me angry I had had enough ! I took the kids and went to my moms house that night.

The next day he promised to get help so we made an appointment with a local counselor. The counselor dismissed the idea of him even having anything wrong with him at all !! and instead just gave us marriage couseling ( Sigh!)

He promised he could control his behavior and it wouldn't happen again. And it didn't ( for the most part) until a few days ago.

He started his pattern again. Kept getting up in the middle of the night and seemed to be depressed and deep in thought all the time.He kept bringing up relegious topics out of the blue and his theories made no sense as always ..

The other night I asked him ( as I do many times a week) What's wrong?
He said I don't want to tell you because you will think I'm crazy.. I said try me!

He preceeded to tell me that he needed to quit his job and get out of that place NOW.. I said what do you mean? Why?

He told me that all the clues were there for him to get out now.. He said the songs on the radio had clues in them . He said he got up the other night and opened the bible to read it( he normally doesn't read the bible) and there was a new chapter in it he had never seen before and when he closed the book and opened it back up It was gone!! .. He was literelly terrified , even crying and just basically "freaking out" it scared me !He kept saying his work was a gathering place of evil basically..
I just calmly explained to him that he cannot control what will happen or when it will happen but he has to keep going to work because he has kids to feed ! None of what he said that night made any sense at all ! talking about the end of the world and how he could see it etc.. Just bizarre

For the most part he usually functions very well so I don't know if he needs to be on medication all the time .He is a good dad and husband and I don't want him to go to the doctor and be immediately put on all sorts of drugs that could have harmful side effects or make him violent etc...

I know he needs to go see a phsychiatrist(sp) but I wanted to know if some of you out there have similar symptoms , is it scizophrenia? will it get worse if he doesn't get on something? He is 30 now.

He hasn't come out of his recent "relegion" phase yet because this morning I found a note he wrote it's dated 2 am . It was about a dream he had. He normally doesn't keep a journal at all so I found this writing very disturbing and it had to do with my kids. ( his dream was he had to hide them in the woods for their safety and told them to always remember that our savior does not come until the very stars fall from the sky) Yikes! I don't want to wake up 1 morning and find my kids gone ! I am so scared of this illness.

I called the doctor to make an appointment but the waiting list is 2 months

Sorry for the very long post and if anyone has stuck around long enough to read it all I appreciate any advice you can give.

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Old 10-18-2005, 12:06 PM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 62
curiouskittie HB User
Re: Need help for husband

Print this story out and go find another doctor to get checked out by(preferabbly one w/o a 2 month waiting list). Take this printed page to him and explain what's up with him. I don't know if you need to bring your husband or not, since your husband might be a little resistant to the idea of going to a psychiatrist(since it sounds like he has paranoia).

Please update about this. I'm am extremely interested in all this as his list of features and symptoms seem to resemble me in so many ways..

Old 10-18-2005, 12:21 PM   #3
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3
mrsidon'tknow HB User
Re: Need help for husband

Thank you for your reply. I will keep you posted and try and find a doctor without a long waiting list.

Old 10-18-2005, 08:00 PM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 287
Kime HB User
Re: Need help for husband

From what you described he shows all the signs of being psychotic. For sure he is delusional and he may be hallucinating, too, because it sounds like he is hearing things that are not there. When a person is psychotic you absolutely cannot talk them out of it, no matter how you reason with them. They will probably put a label on him of schizophrenia or schizoaffective, but that does not matter, you need help now. It is more common for the symptoms to begin earlier, but it can be later; my cousin has schizophrenia and his main symptoms began when he was 30. My son has schizophrenia, too. (His symptoms began when he was 16.) A number of times when he was psychotic he started writing things like you describe your husband doing. We are having good luck using vitamins and other alternative treatments, but it took us over a year to get to where he was pretty much back to normal and we used medications, too, whenever he was having hallucinations and at other times, too. The hallucinations and delusions can be very frightening. At one point our son was saying that he was going to kill someone and then kill himself, thank God that did not last very long. If you think your husband might hurt himself or someone else you may need to look at involuntary commitment, but hopefully it will not come to that.

Our son was delusional for 5 months before he started hallucinating and we kept wondering where he was getting such strange ideas because we did not understand what was going on. Toward the end of this time we took him to a psychologist and told her the things he had been saying and she talked to him for a while alone and then she told me that he had just felt that he got off to a bad start at his new school and that he was sure he was going to be OK now. I could see that she felt he would be fine. Then two weeks later he was doing things like proudly announcing to the family that he was an angel who's job was to protect the bunnies crossing the street! And he was dead serious, too. He really believed that he was an angel for a few days. He also thought that he had had AIDS and now he was immune to it and could pass his immunity on to other people. I can really sympathise with your experience with the counselor not believing that anything was really wrong with your husband.

If you want to try to get him to take some vitamins while you are waiting to see a psychiatrist see if you can get him to take niacinamide 2 grams 3 times a day and vitamin C 3 grams with it. There are a lot of other ones that can be helpful, too, but these are the ones that are the most helpful for the most people. My son takes 11 grams of niacin a day and 15 grams of vitamin C and I feel that it really helps him. For some people to get relief of symptoms the usual dose of 2-6 grams is not enough and they have to take more. My son definately showed an improvement when we raised his niacin from 6 grams a day to 11 grams a day. If you want more information on alternative treatment of schizophrenia look up orthomolecular treatment of schizophrenia online. It is quite controversial but it is working for my son so naturally I feel compelled to tell people about it. This does not mean that I do not think you should go to see a psychiatrist or use medications, though. Even if at some point you and your husband decide that you want to try alternative treatment without medications you will probably need them at least at first to get the symptoms under control. This is assuming that it turns out that he does have schizophrenia, of course.

When we first found out what was going on with our son it was a very difficult time for us and it was very discouraging to come to the realization that the majority of people with schizophrenia can't really live a completely normal life with medications alone. My cousin is 54 years old now and he is on government assistance and has never been able to hold a job although he tried for 15 years. My husband and I made the decision that we would never give up trying to find out how to help our son and now he is pretty much back to his old self although there have been many times when we have nearly dispaired. We believe that schizophrenia and other "mental" illnesses are actually physical illnesses with mental symptoms caused by biochemical imbalances in the body which can be caused by various underlying causes, and they can be treated but it can take a lot of experimentation. A person with schizophrenia or other "mental" illnesses can become well, so do not lose hope and do not give up.

Last edited by Kime; 10-18-2005 at 08:16 PM.

Old 10-18-2005, 09:04 PM   #5
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3
mrsidon'tknow HB User
Re: Need help for husband

Thanks for your reply Kime it really does help to know I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of illness.

My husband has poor eating habits ( usually skips breakfast and lunch) so the vitamins could only do him good ! I think I will make the suggestion to him .

I have kept his "weirdness" a secret for so long even making excuses for his odd behavior to others but I think it's time to deal with it as it's obviously not going to just go away.

It's reassuring that your son is doing well and I hope he continues to do so

Old 10-19-2005, 08:47 AM   #6
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 287
Kime HB User
Re: Need help for husband

Sometimes symptoms like this can be caused by allergies. Have you ever noticed that your husband was better after he had a change in diet for 4 or more days? Like if he went on a camping trip or something and he was not eating his usual foods? My nephew was in an accident and could not eat for about 5 days and his symptoms of anxiety went away so we know they were caused by a food allergy. You can look at the book "Brain Allergies" if you want to know more about this.

Old 10-23-2005, 04:20 PM   #7
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 310
SuchGreatHeight HB User
Re: Need help for husband

I think getting to a psychiatrist is the best thing to do at the moment. No matter if it is just "allergies" or an actual "physical illness" he is still showing signs of a psychological disorder.

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