HealthBoards

HealthBoards (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/)
-   Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/family-friends-mentally-ill/)
-   -   14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/family-friends-mentally-ill/370293-14-year-old-adolescent-unit-evaluation.html)

goody2shuz 03-01-2006 06:38 PM

14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
I am worried about my 14 year old daughter who has just been admitted into adolescent unit for evaluation. This was decided with the input of her Pediatrician, her school's social worker and my husband and I. Our daughter finally has agreed to getting the help that she needs and we are so relieved. But we are sooo scared.

She has a history of cutting and a few months ago took a half a bottle of advil.....she is angry and sad and things have escalated to the point that she is lying, running away, partaking in sexually explicit convos on the computer and the such. Things had gotten to the point that she has requested to be removed from our home even to the point of lying telling people she had gotten a scratch on her face from my hitting her when I had not, going as far as intiating a CPS investigation. We are extremely concerned about what may be attributing to this behavior. Upon being interviewed she has admitted to more cutting episodes than we were aware of and that taking the advil was with thoughts of ending her life and that on other occaisons she has specifically thought about and planned how to end her life.

I know that she is in the right place but I am afraid that they may misdiagnose her or perhaps place her on medications that she may not need. For a few years we have wanted her to get help but she refused after going to a psychologist for a few sessions. She is at the point of seeing that she needs help as well and for that we are so relieved.

I could use some help.....I do not know what is going on and would really like to be one step ahead of all of this if at all possible. I feel as if I have lost my daughter and am so scared. Anybody who can offer me info on what to expect after having had a similar experience....well I would be extremely grateful for anything you have to say or share to make me feel less worrie or fearful.

Thanks ~ Goody :angel:

goody2shuz 03-03-2006 07:04 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
[QUOTE=Ruth]Goody! Life has put big blocks in the way of getting here when you needed me. I am so sorry... I'll definitely pick up this thread on the Mental Health Board - probably an even better fitting place for your situation..
A couple of random thoughts til then...[/QUOTE]
Ruth ~ I took the liberty of responding to you here where I felt it was much more appropriate. And I am soo relieved that you made it through those stumbling blocks as I have with the help of the guy up above so that I could make it through. Thank God for His mercy and favor upon me!!

[QUOTE=Ruth]As much as you may dislike it, you are at the mercy of the medical profession to some extent.
Yes, they need your ok to treat your daughter - but they have the experience to diagnose.
And then again, diagnosing the mind isn't like seeing a bad break on an x-ray.
Sometimes they have to rule things out before they can reach a diagnosis. It's not as exact a science as with physical ailments.[/QUOTE] I received a call from the psychiatrist that met with Erin this morning and she feels that she has a mild depressive disorder and no clinical specific diagnosis as of yet but feels with her evaluation that Erin should be started on an antidepressant called Celexa to help her through the mild depression she has going on. She was concerned about Erin's suicidal attempt although she feels that it is more impulsive than anything else triggered by emotions/stress she feels it must be treated and asked my opinion about using meds. I told her that I was a mom who didn't use tylenol or any med unless absolutely necessary and that I fel the same when it came to my children. I also voiced my opinion on how it may mask an further evaluation of Erin and that if she had a disorder that wasn't clearly identified it may worsten it (she knows of my medical background so I spoke to her on a professional level as well). She understood my concerns and told me to look it up and that they would hold off another day and observe Erin another day and discuss it again tomorrow. I agreed to that.

Later on when conversing with Erin's nurse and telling her my concerns about starting an antidepressant she shared with me what they had found out when asking Erin about her suicidal thoughts. She clearly disclosed specific plans of wanting to work up to finding an artery when cutting and another plan was to jump out of a moving vehicle but that she feared that would only leave her paralyzed or something. When I heard that I KNEW that Erin needed the medication.

When I spoke to Erin on the phone afterwards, when I asked how she was she said, "okay". I told her that we had decided to let her make the decisions as to when we should visit her, that we wanted to come when the other parents could come but perhaps she needed some time alone. I told her that we loved her and didn not want her to fell as if we had abandnoned her but that for sometime she wanted to get away from us and we did not want to deny her the space that she may need from us. She sobbed and told me that she needed for us to come because she had something that she needed to tell us. My heart dropped and many possibilities ran through my mind but I told Erin that no matter what it was there was one thing she could be sure of and that was that we loved her very much and that NOTHING could ever change that.

Ruth.....we imagined the worst!!! I imagined that she was pregnant anything and all things passed through this mom's mind and none would allow me to love her any less. My baby was hurting enough to hurt herself and I wanted her to know that I loved her more than any mistake or problem she saw.
Tom & I arrived for the visit and we sat down with her and hugged her telling her that we loved her and that she could tell us anything and that wouldn't change the amount of love we had for her...EVER!! She started sobbing and told us that she didn't belong there and wanted to come home....that she was not crazy and needed for us to take her home!! My heart was relieved with joy and in my throat all at the same time and I engulfed her in my arms and told her that I loved her too much to do that. She went on to tell me how scarey it was to be amongst other teens who get violent and have bad problems and that it wasn't where she belonged.....that she wasn't crazy and that she needed to get out of there. I reassurred her that we would never leave her anywhere where she would be unsafe......that yes there were kids that had more problems than she did but that they were fully equipped to handle all situations. I told her that I understood that it could be scarey but that she needed to stay until we all figured out what she was having such trouble with in her life. She got angry....enough to go to another corner of the room and asked us to leave. I told her that we would if she reallly wanted us to...she quieted down and then said that her roommate told her that all they do here is drug you up so that they get paid more by the insurance companies. I explained to Erin that that was untrue and who is she going to trust....her parents who love her very much and doctors who have over 12 years of education or another patient with as many or more problems that herself??? Erin got upset and shouted......"I made a mistake....my friends told me to color it up so I would get admitted so I could be away from you guys but I learned my lesson and I just want to go home!!!"

I went to her and hugged her....she pushed me away and told me that she felt claustrophobic and to give her space. I gently explained to Erin that she was not there to be taught a lesson or as a form of punishment....that we loved her enough to want to find out what is going on and that this was the place to be and that her pediatrician, social worker at school, her parents, and she had decided all together that this was where she belonged. I also stated that she seemed to be running away from her problems.....at home she had run away and wanted to be away from us and that she wanted to do so again.....and that running away was not going to make the problem go away. She said she could just leave it behind and I told her that she couldn't, that until we identified exactly what it is and how to solve it that it would only follow her into adulthood. She asked how long she needed to stay. I told her until the doctors and her figured out the problem so we could figure out the best way to treat it.....that it would be all up to her and how she cooperated. I told her it was time to stop the lying, manipulation, and "coloring up" and to be honest so that they would be able to diagnose accurately what was going on.

I went on to explain that the doctor had called me after they met this morning and did feel it was important to start her on an antidepressant because she was somewhat depressed and had suicidal thoughts. I told her what I had told the doctor about making sure it was absolutely necessary, that I wanted to be sure of that and that we would like to look it up and give it another day or so. I told Erin that I was leaning towards having them start it because we could see if it made her feel better while still there and it may also allow her to do what she needed to do without the anger and furstration involved and get her home faster. I told her that it was our goal to get her to find the help she needed whether it be meds or coping mechanisms/tools needed to insure that she wouldn't harm herself in anyway. I told her that she needed to learn to love herself enough to no hurt herself in anyway. Erin pleaded with me once again to bring her home that she would never cut again and I told her that we couldn't do that because she had said that before and the dutting had reoccurred and we now were concerned with her thoughts of ending her life as were the doctors.

We stood our ground and then met with the social worker. He was great in getting Erin to understand that she had anger, frustration and impulsiveness that may be betting in the way of her overall well being. He explained how by the use of the antidepressant, it could help her feel less of an inner struggle and really change her overall perspective on things and the way she handles them.....that when depressed even a little bit we can have such difficulty with everyday life. He helped Erin to see the way the med could help her. We also addressed her fears of being there and how we all could assure her overall safety.

This came to an end and we said our goodbyes. I reminded Erin of how much we loved her and looked forward for her coming home when she was ready. I told her that God had us tied in a special way since we were mother-daughter, that even though the umbilical cord was cut, our hearts were joined and that when she was in pain so was I. We both cried and Tom & I left and went out to dinner which was just what the doctor ordered.

(To Be Continued)

goody2shuz 03-03-2006 07:06 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
(cont)

[QUOTE=Ruth]The good news is that to me, bipolar and borderline personality disorder are distinguishable from one another IF ONE TAKES THE TIME TO OBSERVE behavior.
Bipolar is mood based - highs/lows/normal times. Borderline is anger-based in my book.
Adding to the mix, is that people can have BOTH.
And why not? You can have an ulcer and congestive heart failure, right?[/QUOTE] I undestand this and it makes perfect sense. Somehow, the psychiatrist has lead us to believe that she has a mild depressive state that seems to be triggered by emotions. The social worker did mention a mood disorder as well....with impulsivity. Right now she is still in the evaluation phase and we may get into further diagnosis as time goes on.

[Ruth=QUOTE]Once, on the Mental Health board I got into a mentor type relationship with a teenage girl who was cutting. It led me to do some studying on the subject so that I could understand her situation better.
Also, I'm not clear on how sexual molestation goes with bipolar disorder?[/QUOTE] I was told that sexual promiscuity could go on when in a manic state.....so they are looking into that. Also....kids who are molested could act out in a sexually promiscuous way in a personality disorder which they take on as a protective means of dealing with the shame and dirtiness involved. I don't know if that is an issue with Erin but I do want it checkedc into. When I spoke to the psychiatrist today...she told me that Erin went a little bit into it but that what I had shared with her was more than she was aware of and she ould further evaluate that.
[QUOTE=Ruth]I don't know if this will be reassuring to you or not, but you were worried about Erin being put on meds, or the wrong meds that may be harmful?
When I was 13 they didn't know what was wrong with me either. I was put on a LOT of things. I was even put on THORAZINE for awhile. If anything was going to mess me up you'd think that would have done it.
I went on to be inducted into the Honor Society during the two years I was normal enough to attend high school.[/QUOTE] Thanks, Ruth for the reassurance!!! I just knew that what you had to say would definitely comfort me and I am no longer fearing the meds......I fear Erin not on the meds even more!!

[QUOTE=Ruth]If the choice is a med that is wrong for awhile, or not treating a teen that is possibly suicidal that you love with your whole heart what are you going to do?? I'm betting that my parents actually hoped I had encephalitis instead of a mental illness just so it could be "fixed". My Dad took the longest to understand that with bipolar (it was manic depression in those days) I couldn't just "snap out of it".
I'm sure there was a bit of shame/stigma for them also.[/QUOTE] I know that there is a long road ahead....that this will not be a "quick fix" per se. That with meds, whether temporary or permanent, as well as therapy that we can get Erin to feel happy with herself and safe again.

[QUOTE=Ruth]This old virtual park bench we sit on is wonderful - most of the time. A steaming cup of coffee on the toll road would do me better right now when a good friend needs me.[/QUOTE] Thanks, Ruth for you support & comfort at this time. I just knew that I could count on your words of wisdom and experience. I already feel so much better. And I am glad that you are no longer on the toll road.....I do need you and the wonderful (((HUGS))) we always seem to share.

Love ~ Goody :angel:

UPDATE: I called this morning to speak to the doctor....Tom & I had decided that it would be in Erin's best interest to start the med (antidepressant celexa) I did have my concerns about it's contraindication in giving it to bipolar patients in which it could cause manic episodes. The doctor called a short while later not even knowing I had called and told me that on observation Erin was more hyper and bubbily and questioned me about her moods lately. I told her that Erin seemed mad frustrated and then could be bubbily...that her teachers had discussed with us her distractive behavior while socializing in class but the mood swings from happy/bubbily/chatty to sad/frustrated/angry didn't have any sudden fluctuations. The doctor also said that with Erin's hypersexual behavior this was often a characterisitic seen in bipolar during the manic moods and that had her leaning more towards a diagnosis of bipolar. She suggested we observe Erin the rest of today because she was leaning towards a mild bipolar....not even bipolar I and was very apprehensive about starting the Celexa since that would worsten her condition if it were a bipolar. I agreed and told her I was relieved that she had wanted to observe Erin more, that as I discussed with her yesterday, this was our window of oppportunity to find out what is going on with Erin. She told me the med she is considering is called Abilisy(???) and Ruth I am scared because yesterday it was one med, today it's another and how do they even know whwether Erin needs meds or not or even has her clearly diagnosed. What would you do??? I am thinking we may need more than one day to observe Erin. HELP!! I need your thoughts sooo much!!!

Ruth6:11 03-03-2006 03:39 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Hi Goody:wave:, First things First... a big Hug for my friend -

Think of the anti-depressant as a preventative medication. Like people use Lipitor to decrease their cholesterol hopefully to stave off a heart attack. An anti-depressent can prevent a suicide - which is good.
However, there are some types of anti-depressents, "SSRI's", that can trigger the manic phases of Bipolar disorder. There is still a question whether it only triggers an underlying condition of bipolar or in some patients actually triggers the disorder.

Abilify is NOT an SSRI. Here's a brief description of how it is supposed to work:
Experts believe that Abilify works by adjusting dopamine, instead of completely blocking it, as well as affecting serotonin. Abilify is like a thermostat: it raises the level of these brain chemicals when there's not enough and lowers the level when there's too much.

Celexa IS an SSRI and I'd have to caution it's use unless, at the very least, a mood stabilizer is also being taken. There are also big cautions about it's use in pediatric patients who are suicidal - a danger of the increase in sucicidal thoughts, etc.

That said about meds, it is absolutely true that some bipolars have an increase in sexual promiscuity during the manic phases. Yours truly did NOT have this symptom although it is clearly mentioned in all lists of symptoms for Bipolar Disorder.
I'm not familiar at all with molestation causing Bipolar Disorder which is a chemical imbalance in the brain - a mood disorder.
It may cause Personality disorders for sure.

If it even looks like Bipolar Disorder is a likelihood I would suggest that you take a visit to the most supportive and "glass half-full" spot at HealthBoards - the Bipolar Disorder board. We are truly a caring and mercurial bunch. Accepting of each other because some of us are less stabilized than others, understanding of behaviors that we just don't have control of all the time.
MANY family & friend members also. A visit through past pages will bring up other mom's who are grappling with this difficult diagnosis.

One thing that I have to caution you against (even though it probably won't do any good) is to spend alot of time finger pointing at your self or anyone else in an attempt to find a "why". If it IS Bipolar Disorder there is absolutely nothing that you could have done differently.
Is there ANY history of a mood disorder in either of your families? Bipolar is generally (not always) inherited. My Grandma Ruth had it, but it didn't start until menopause kicked in for her. Mine manifested at adolescence. Both chemical-hormonal induced.

Cutting isn't a symptom of Bipolar Disorder, although there are people with bipolar who cut. I didn't have that either.
(I did have major can't get out of bed to shower or change clothes or eat type depression and major psychotic breaks with reality for manic phases in which I saw God in a raindrop and made major spiritual connections with the universe.)

As the "seriousness" goes, Bipolar I is actually the most severe because there is true mania rather than the lesser hypomania. Then Type II, and there are "mixed states" and "rapid cycling". There is Type III, caused by another medication like SSRI.
There is also cyclothymia which is quite mild and most people never end up seeking treatment for it. They may just change jobs alot, get pretty hostile over petty things and have multiple marriage.
Goody:wave: my next oldest sister has cyclothymia and its very difficult even for ME (!!) to deal with her!

I know that you are just absolutely emotionally overwhelmed with fear, maternal leanings, doubts, exhaustion, confusion and lots of not being sure that you're doing the right thing.

IF Erin is Bipolar please remember that there isn't a med for it alive that doesn't have side effects. Some are worse than others.

If she has a Personality Disorder I'm fairly ignorant on them except that a niece in Mr. Ruth's family has Bordersline Personality Disorder - I know there is a support board for that here too....

The Bipolar Board is wonderful for support, like the relationship board is - probably even more so because Bipolar is pretty much forever (like juvenile diabetes) while the folks come and go a bit more with personal problems.

Goody:wave:, it may not be possible to sit & talk with you in person at a toll plaza between hoosierland and nj, but there are times after I've gotten done with a post to you that I feel like we HAVE had a really good long talk... Can't tell you how much I still appreciate the ice dancer comparison - it helped... (right up until last weekend!)

Thanks for being such a good friend, I am sorry that you are going through this... and yet I have to tell you that if Erin is Bipolar YOU are the type of mother who will get her through this initial part and leave her with the solid foundation and sense of self that will give her a great chance for an independent life like I have had.

How is Tom dealing with this? It is particulary hard for most men to understand the fact that sometimes we just can't snap out of it, or straighten up & fly right. In many ways you are best suited to be the primary contact/caregiver in situations with your daughter. I never ever remember my mom being anything but loving, accepting and supportive.

Oh, and just for the record, I never had any true manias until I was in my 20's. I don't know how they COULD have diagnosed me correctly until I basically blew a gasket... I had "schoolphobia" and horrible stomach aches. Not exactly textbook...

You ask what I would do? I would NOT feel good about an SSRI. But I would feel that with the sucidal thoughts another type of anti-depressent or anti-psychotic (Abilify) would be a little bit of an insurance policy. I WOULD ask for the smallest dose to begin with - especially since she is a teen.

For you I would write a scrip for BIG Hugs from Tom daily. Tell him that is he has one job through all of this it is to be there for you to hang onto when you need to...
And you have your dear cybertwin here - always.
Ruth
:angel:

casie 03-03-2006 04:49 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
hey,belive me she's getting the help she needs.i'm also 14 and in a drug rehabilitation center and missing most of my ninth grade year.i was on cocaine,herion,and a frequent alchohol abuser.i was a very ill person.your daughter just needs some love encouragment and help-believe me she could be a lot worse.my parents gave me up for adoption it got so bad-they didn't care that i needed help they just gave up.no matter what you do don't give up on her,ok? lots opf love,support,and hugs-Casie :) :D

goody2shuz 03-03-2006 05:02 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Ruth ~ Oh you are such a great friend and your post was just what I needed. It brought tears to my eyes and holds a welath of information that has eased my mind.

We just returned from a visit with Erin. Her mood is more leveled off and she is acting more like a part of the family on the unit. During our visit she told us what she did during the day in terms of talking to the doctor, group therapy, and school. According to Erin the doctor told her that she probably won't need meds and when she said that I explained that in speaking with the doctor that morning that I had heard differently. I told her that the doctor suggested we watch her today and tonight start her on a med that would decrease her agitation/frustration and keep her from thoughts of wanting to harm herself. I met with the nurse on the unit to discuss my concerns regarding the Abilify without a clear diagnosis on Erin. The nurse went on to explain how it is often difficult to diagnose adolescents and they can only go by observation of traits and from what they see Erin definitely has traits of mania that would keep them from placing her on a SSRI like Celexa. She went on to say that Abilify would be a better med in the sense of relieving the agitation that comes with the mania as well as any suicidal tendencies/thoughts that is of most concern to us. She said that the med works as an antipsychotic as well as antimanic so it eliminates the need for another med at times. They are starting Erin on it tonight at bedtime and only giving her 2.5mg to start. If they find her sleeping all day tomorrrow they may decrease it to 1.25mg.

After meeting with the nurse, I took Erin aside and told her that I believe in being honest and that we had decided along with the dotor's and staff's input that starting a med would be in her best interest. I told her that with her reflux, when she gets heartburn we need the pepcid. And with her mental health sometimes medications were necessary as well to keep things in balance especially if she were having thoughts of harming herself. I told her that we needed to start the med so that she could feel less agitated/frustrated and I was sure that it would make her feel better towards herself and what she was feeling inside. I told her of course if the med made her feel worse that we would look into something else but that we felt that this was what she needed at this time. The nurse came up to Erin & explained that they would talk more about the medication after our visit was over.

Since we do not have a definitive diagnosis as of yet I thought I would post here. The info you gave me was so appreciated by both Tom & I. The doctor this morning seemed to indicate that Erin has characteristics leaning towards a mild Bipolar I. You said that this was the most serious because of true mania.....can you describe that more to me in terms of symptoms since this is what they are leaning towards.??

As far a s family history....I had a grandmother who was in & out of psychiatric centers.....I believe that they never really truly diagnosed here because she was an alcoholic.....I am going to question my mom more about that tonight.

I plan on popping over to the Bipolar board as soon as I am more out of this fog.....for now I feel comfy here with a friend I truly trust....tomorrow once on the med I may have more specific areas to address.

You eased my mind when you told me what YOU would do....for it is exactly what I am doing!! Thanks, Ruth, for the (((HUGS))), love, and wonderful suppport!!!

I know that the ice dance seemed to do okay....perhaps now that the Olympic season is over there may be some time needed to regroup and rest those tired overworked feet until you can get back onto the ice!! The Gold medalist have to do that and so do us novices. ;)

Always happy to stop off at any toll plaza with a friend like you, Ruth :wave: .....no mattter where we each are going in life....it seems like it's always in the same direction because with you the trip is always full of peace and strength. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend ~ Goody :angel:

jennfaery 03-05-2006 02:25 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Thought I would post this here as well. Posted this on the Bipolar space, too. :)


Hmmm, you said this all started about 4 or 5 months ago? I'd start looking for something that was tramatic that happened around that time. Was there a death in the family? Was she raped or molested? Did yall move? Divorce? She get into drugs?

If this all just came out of no where there had to have been something that triggered it. Figure out what that was and get her into therapy so she can deal with it. Also, you need to make sure you communicate with her. Ask her how she's feeling. When she says fine, keep pressing her. She wants you to be interested but she doesn't want you to know it.

I was DXed with BiPolar when I was 12 but I don't think I am. A lot of things happened that year as well as the next 2 and I think I was just trying to cope with it. I already had problems from being abused as a child and then when I was 12 alot of things happend all with in a span of a few months. My parents got divorced and my dad moved away, my great grandmother died who I was very close to, I was molested by my grandfather while we were vistiting them in GA, I had sex(raped since I was only 12) for the first time with a 20 year old man, and I had just started Jr. High and all of my friends turned against me because I stuck up for someone who they didn't like.

Anyway, it was a pretty rough year and I really didn't know how to deal with it all. My mom wasn't really there since she was dealing with her own stuff and I had no one to talk to since all of my "friends" had turned their backs on me. I started cutting on myself and tried to commit suicide a couple of times. I started having sex and acting very promiscuous. My grades starting falling, I ran away a few times. My parents took me to the hospital and then I went to an inpatient treatment facility. I was in and out of there and a few others for the next few years.

If the place she is at is a short term facility, get her out ASAP. All the ones that I went to were nothing but a "fun time" and I learned some bad things about how to cut and where and how to hide things from my parents, Lots of things I shouldn't have. They have so much free time in those that the only thing to do is talk to each other and watch movies. The doctors don't really care, all they want is the money. You can't really help someone in a week and they know that. They don't get too involved either and just hand out medicine like it's candy while throwing around labels to make it look legit.

Long term facilites are a little better since they know they will be able to get to know the child and go a little more in depth. They helped me a little bit but not enough to justify spending all the money my parents spent and taking away the years of my life. Regular therapy and my parents being receptive would have done wonders.

BTW some of the people who work in those facilities are predators. Not only in the short term but also the long term treatment centers. I was molested by a staffmember while I was at a long term treatment center. I was flirting with the guy, you know testing out my newfound sexual power and then when it got to where they wanted to do something I didn't want to. I was scared and had only had sex like 2 times and he was an older man. They didn't care at that point. Like I said I was very sexual since I had been molested as a child and that's what tends to happen to someone who has had that experience.

I prolly shouldn't be telling you some of this stuff. I don't want to scare you. I just wnat to let you know what I went through so maybe you can help your daughter to go a different path then I went.

It sounds like you are very caring and interested in making sure she is taken care of. She needs that right now more then ever. Find out what is going on with her. More then likely she wants to talk about it, you just gotta keep at it because sometimes kids don't think that their parents will understand. But do it in a way that doesn't intimidate her and try not to get frustrated.

Also, if she just needs someone to talk to or if she needs some counciling just go that route. Don't medicate unless she is showing severe signs of Bipolar. Some of those meds have been shown to make children suicidal/homicidal and from personal experience it is true.

This might be a phase like you said. She could have gotten a new friend who is having problems and she might just be trying to act like her. There are all sorts of things that could be going on.

She also is a teenager and the hormones that are running through their bodies as well as the peer pressure is nothing to be disregarded. It's a tough time as I am sure you remember. Just try to understand where she is coming from.

She will try to manipulate and do everything she can to get what she wants. All teens do to some extent. You just gotta find a balance with trying to be understanding but have bounderies at the same time. Just remember to be consistant.

I went through this process from your daughters point of veiw so I know what she is feeling to some extent. If you have any questions, please, let me know and I will try to answer them as best as possible. I don't know everything but dealing with the mental health system for a few years taught me a little and I would love to be able to help someone who is going through something similar.

I really hope that everything goes well with your family. I hope she has learned her lesson and straightens up but it's not going to happen over night. Get ready for the long haul. Hopefully it wont take that long but be prepared if it does. I have you and your family in my prayers and I hope you can work though this difficult time. Please, keep me updated on how you and your daughter are doing.

jennfaery 03-05-2006 02:45 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Cassie, I'm so sorry , hun. My parents threatened to do that to me. I can't beleive you parents could do something like that. I wish I could help in some other way but just hang in there. It does get better. You have your whole life ahead of you, hun. I know it's hard right now. I know the total emptiness and how alone you feel sometimes but there are people who are out there who have gone through the same thing. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make everything better. Unfortunately I can't. You just have to work through it and believe in yourself. You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. I know right now you are reading that and thinking yeah right but you really have to believe it and things will change. I know you can do it. Just keep at it. It's going to be difficult and a daily struggle but that is what life is about. But you keep going and you make you life what you want it to be. I will have you in my prayers as well Cassie. (((((((Cassie))))))) know that there is atleast one person who is rooting for you and who cares. It makes is so much easier to deal with if you have someone in your corner. Please, check back in and let us know how you are doing.

jennfaery 03-05-2006 02:49 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
[QUOTE=goody2shuz] I told her that we would if she reallly wanted us to...[SIZE=3]she quieted down and then said that her roommate told her that all they do here is drug you up so that they get paid more by the insurance companies. I explained to Erin that that was untrue and who is she going to trust....her parents who love her very much and doctors who have over 12 years of education or another patient with as many or more problems that herself???[/SIZE] Erin got upset and shouted......"I made a mistake....my friends told me to color it up so I would get admitted so I could be away from you guys but I learned my lesson and I just want to go home!!!"

(To Be Continued)[/QUOTE]


I hate to tell you this but it's true. That is pretty much the only thing they do in short term facilities.

crisma 03-09-2006 07:17 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Hi Goody! I was just checking to see how Erin was doing. Have they came up with a diagnosis yet? I hope that this will be the help that she needs to get better. Sending prayers your family's way!

Cristie

goody2shuz 03-10-2006 04:49 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Hey, Cristie :wave: Thanks for the prayers....I really do appreciate them. The Goody Family could really use them!! :angel:

Erin is finally back home with us after a week's stay on the adolescent unit. Seems that she doesn't quite have a definitive diagnosis but some of the traits lean towards a mild bipolar I (they say it is something that is "temporary" so it is not diagnosed bipolar but treated in much the same way) She is on two meds....a mood stabilizer and antidepressant and will require some psychotherapy to gain some tools and healthy coping mechanisms. Although there are some noticeable changes such as less frustration and agitation, Erin is still somewhat sullen and unmotivated at home but in a social environment more herself. The meds are making her sleepy and there is going to be some readjustments and once that happens I am hoping that things will get somewhat better. We are all exhausted from the week she was hospitalized and just tyring to get ourselves back on our feet. Thanks for your support and interest. You have always been aound to lend me your hand just when I seem to need it....thanks for that. ;)

Since you have followed my family so lovingly with loads of support I think it's only fair that I share with you my concern that Kait may have somewhat the same thing going on......both girls share the same impulsivity to do things without thinking, to rebell and make excuses for their misery, and to literally retaliate and fight a constant battle of making their lives a constant drama of pushing buttons and sabataging the trust that is so important within relationships. Without even knowing it they are lying, manipulating and self destructive. This really bothers me as a parent because I have taught them everything but that.....to love and respect others and most of all themselves. But somehow they cannot even look outside themselves....it's all about them, [B]their[/B] feelings and [B]their[/B] needs. Never mind anyone else.....and while I know that this is the agenda for most teens....it seems so much more a part of my girls lives almost to an extreme. As parents we are the enemy when that couldn't be farther from the truth.....in this mean cruel world we are the ones that love them the most.

And so when Kait returns home for the summer I am thinking of having her evaluated as well. She will be going off to college and I want her to feel confident & healthy. She is and has been exhibiting much of the same behavior as Erin minus the cutting & suicidal thoughts. Last week around the same time we brought Erin to the hospital, Kait was manipulating her way through an agreement to turn in her cell phone into the main office at schoool....she decided to turn in an old phone and bring in her new one and caught texting another student who was home sick and making arrangements to nmeet after school which was not ok with my brother after all of the shennanigans she has pulled while living with them. And she has the nerve to call me to intervene on her behalf for how miserable a situation she is living in.....meanwhile my dear brother is hospitalized himself for a chronic rare condition and while I cannot fault Kait for that the condition does worsten with increased stress which we all know teens place upon us. So I can't help but feel guilty about that!!! I just want Kait to graduate high school.....she was just short of being expelled and needs to fly straight all the way until June 5th.

The good news is that she got accepted at another great college which is her second choice with a $5k Academic Presidential Scholarship for all 4 years and will be hearing any time now on her first choice for which she has made great sacrifice as we have to get into!!! Her grades in school continue to be honor roll and she has been one of the few in her school to be selected by the state to apply for a $10k academic scholarship. Both my girls are honors students who seem to be lacking in basic common sense!!! :eek: How is that???

When Erin was evaluated I couldn't help feeling bad that I hadn't done the same for Kait 3 years ago since the frustration, agitation, and patterns seemed so much the same. If I had sought treatment perhaps these past 3 years with Kait would have improved. I love her so much, however these years have been filled with so much emotion and upsetment....I thought it was normal "meanager years", however there may have been more to it that I had overlooked. Time will tell as we get through it with Erin. As I said, after Kait graduates and is back home with us, I will see what we can do to help her out if the need is there. Meanwhile my SIL has her set up for some counselling to address some of the anger and frustration she is going through.

Well that's the update....you can find more specifics on the bipolar board where I have been seeking support for the diagnosis and treatment of Erin.

Thanks again Cristie for caring enough to come on board and let me know that you are there. It really means alot to me.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody :angel:

crisma 03-11-2006 08:47 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Hi Goody! I have been having the worst time getting my pc to work. I don't know if it is this site or what, but it takes forever to look at anything here at HB. Tomorrow I will visit the Biopolar board and keep up with you there. I hope things are starting to get better. I am still saying my prayers. Talk to ya soon!

Cristie

goody2shuz 03-12-2006 08:02 AM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Cristie ~ Thanks for the prayers....things seem to be improving, I guess with the readjustments to be made and time needed for the meds to take effect, time will tell. I guess as a mom I still wonder if I am doing the right thing...... am fighting two battles within myself both involving guilt and of all people I think you will understand. It's either having Erin on meds unnecessarily when she is not Bipolar (remember she has not been clearly diagnosed) and then there is the guilt of not having Kait checked into a few years back when she was demonstrating the same symptoms. Kait still is having problems and I am leaning towards the latter. And for that I feel so bad for having overlooked something that perhaps shoulc have been looked into. And then there is this big battle of wishing everything to be normal......I still wonder if it all is having been a mom for so many years and not knowing what is normal and not normal in these teenage years. I mean how many people go through such turbulent times not having been on meds and end up fine. But then again look at all the people failing at marriages, jobs and ending up with depression in adulthood. These are all the thoughts going through my mind. The best case scenario would be that this is all temporary and only time will tell.

I am thinking about having Kait evaluated once Erin shows definite improvement. It would be wrong of me not to. The only thing that worries me is that Kait will be going awa to college where there is partying and drinking and that is dangerous with the meds that Erin is on. Kait already is into alcohol and has admitted to using marijuana....what am I to do with that???

I am just venting here and putting down what torments me as a mom with all of this. I will bring it up with the psychiatrist once Erin is following him and see what he has to say. Most of what is going on is over on the Bipolar board so you may wish to fill in the spaces with what I have over there.

In any case, Cristie, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and taking any window of opportunity to lend your support and words of encouragement. It is through the whispers of strangers who reach out to me that I feel uplifted and held up by the angels He constantly sends my way. Thanks for clearly being one of them. :angel:

((((HUGS)))) of gratitude ~ Goody

Ruth6:11 03-12-2006 03:16 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Goody:wave:I have too much to say and can't seem to get past the log jam!
I'm returning here because I am really uncomfortable with the nebulous diagnosis of "mild Bipolar I" and bipolar that she'll "grow out of" (or bipolar that isn't really bipolar).
And you have to stop saying such nice things about me to my mother.. I am hiding out for awhile with red cheeks :cool:
Hugs,
Ruth
:angel:

goody2shuz 03-12-2006 04:36 PM

Re: 14 Year Old in Adolescent Unit for Evaluation
 
Ruth ~ I am sooooo sorry...I made a typo up above. The doctor explained to us that Erin is NOT diagnosed with any bipolar per se.....but with the traits/symptoms she presents in her emotional state she is treating her as if she has a mild bipolar II (sorry I mistakenly referred to it as Bipolar I above :confused: ).

I know that this is as nebulous as saying somebody is only "half pregnant" but I think that the psychiatrist only used that phrasing/explanation to help us understand how she was treating Erin and what the meds were expected to do and how Erin's behavior is similar to parts of what we would clinically see in a mild Bipolar I that, if it could be temporary, would be what Erin' s behavior classifies as. She seemed to be so confident in what she said and said that there were alot of adolescents demonstrating such behavior and doing well off of meds after 6-8 months of treatment. We see a different psychiatrist on Wednesday since her practice was completely full and I see that as an opportunity for a second opinion in my book. ;) So I will have more info to help clear things up for the both of us, my dear and caring friend, in just a few more days. Can you hang in there with me??? I know that you feel everything that I do and I am feeling as confused and unsure of things as you are. The only two things I AM sure of is your wonderful support and Erin's need of the meds at this point in time!!!

Oh my dear soul sharer....I know that you are as concerned as I am about all of this, so much so that you brought your dear mom to my side to comfort me as somebody who has walked in my two shoes and I will never be able to thank you enough for that kind, loving gesture of sharing somebody so special to you with me knowing that she would help me through this confusing time.

The thing is, Ruth, knowing you has given me such comfort & strength through all of this because no matter what,I know that Erin [B]will[/B] be okay. Knowing you has taken the fear away.....for I know that Erin will be fine for He has blessed me with a friend who I truly understand and love who [B]has[/B] Bipolar....so it only validates how close I will be with Erin even if she does end up being diagnosed with Bipolar. Funny how He places people in our lives to help us through such times. :angel:

BTW.....are you still in the skating rink doing those triple axels and fancy moves??? And, yes, I do[B] know[/B] that you are happily married ;) ....never ever doubted that, my cybertwin!!! :D

Okay....so you can come out of hiding....I do not underestimate what a wonderful gesture it was for you to point your mom in my direction...as close as I am to my mom I couldn't magine sharing cyberspace with her but you didn't even hesitate to make such a sacrifice for ME!! And I will never forget that, Ruth, NEVER!!

So no more hiding....I need you and so do all the others around here that have come to love you!! I promise to not make a big deal about it anymore...okay??? Come sit with me again....I still need you and always will!!

((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody :angel:


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:46 AM.