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  • My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

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    Old 03-18-2006, 12:50 PM   #1
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    My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

    Last night I came home and my wife tells me that she went to see a psychiatrist - she's was diagnosed with being "bi-polar".

    Evidently there's noise in her head that never stops. She said she can't handle stress, and even the most simple tasks sends her to the "edge". This last week while I was on a business trip, she had locked herself in the bathroom and spent hours crying. She had contemplated suicide - among other things.

    The doc has put her on a series of anti-psychotic drugs. She's struggled with depression for the last ten years - there have been some really high highs, and some pretty disastrous lows.

    She's been taking Effexor for the depression for the last few years along with Trazadone to help her sleep, the p-doc thinks that's where things are breaking down. I know one of the drugs she was given yesterday was Seroquel.

    I'm not sure how the transition to these new drugs will go, but I'm scared. When she went from Paxil to Effexor - we both thought she was loosing her mind. I'm not sure what to expect now.

    I have five kids - two with special needs. I don't know how to help her, I don't know what to expect.

    I'm terrified the pdoc won't find the right "combination" of drugs, and that the trial and error is going to push us beyond the edge.

    She took a single Seroquel last night (100 mg), and today she's pretty wiped out. She's spent most of the day curled up in bed. They're going to try and transition her from the Effexor over the next few weeks.

    I am fortunate, I've got a very strong faith, in a very loving God. Any help or suggestions you can provide would be greatly appreciated.


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    Old 03-20-2006, 12:14 AM   #2
    kimber lee
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    Re: My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

    Hello, let me introduce myself, my name is kimber lee and i am 43 years old, i was diagnosed with bipolar in 1993, They had me on a seris of drugs, quite frankly i dont think that doctors really know how to treat bipolar effectivly, i believe that everyone has a tendancy to become bipolar it just takes a real knock in the head to bring on bipolar disorder, such as: (example " maybe a tragety, a devestation, or a strong realization that you dont want to be where you are at this time,and i dont mean a physical spot your in , i mean a mental and emotional spot your in. ,and it majorly freaks you out, But i could be wrong, but my gut tells me i am right. well anyway back to your confusion, let me ask you a question or two, i am not being sarcastic at all or putting you down so dont take any of this the wrong way, i really feel for you or any one whom is the spouse of someone that has been diagnosed with bipolar because they accually have it harder than the person with the condiiotion, because they dont know what to do for us, they try and try and never get anywhere but frustrated, its basically a loosing battle. Let me ask you, when was your wife doiagnosed with depression, was it after her first child, or second?Do you know why she started getting depressed? i bet she does. I'll tell you , pills dont solve everything, and medications just have a way of covering things up to the point of you not remembering what casused the depression in the first place and suddenly you are BI-POLAR "quote-unquote" Your wife has underlying problems that she needs to work out and dont let any doctor prescribe her any more meds. she doesnt need all those, soon she will be treating side effects instead of the real problem and she will get lost, a real rollercoaster ride.I dont know your situation with your marriage but i understand you have 5 kids 2 with special needs, is she the total mom, does she have help, do you help her, i am sure that you work all day and you are tired when you get home, but if she doenst have help and she is with these kids all day and night 24 hours a day , she has no life, i would contimplate maybe suicide too if i had no other hope, thats too much, now im not saying you a bad husband , i am sure you are the best husband and father you can be, but maybe take a look around or take a serious look at your wife and do some thinking, or ask her some questions like, would you like me too spend more time at home with the kids and let her go vistit her mother or freinds or something, or maybe she loves you differntley than she used to, maybe youve lost each other, get back in touch and start a new routine if you can, i believe her problems are probably stemming from her home life , her marriage, too much responsibiltiy, no self esteem. you nee to talk to her.and like i said dont let the docs give her anymore meds , why did they change her meds in the first place< were they not working anymore or had she developed a new side effect or a new problem? I went off all my meds about 4 years ago and i just deal with everyday as it comes , it can be interesting ill tell you that much, thank god i am more on the manic side than the de[pressed side. I take yoga now and i eat right, no nutrisweet or any of that low calorie crap, i eat real food and i go to a bhuddist temple and worship, im not a holy roller i have just found myself and through that i have learned to understand bipolar, doctors dont tell you or explain bipolar clear emnough so people understand what they have, well i widsh yiu all the luck, i hope i didnt depress you, bye for now, kimber

    Old 03-20-2006, 04:48 AM   #3
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    Re: My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

    Wife is Bi Polar.....Been there and doing that!!!!!My Wife is disabled with Bi Polar/Anxiety Disorder.About 2 years ago she had a major mental breakdown that caused her to not only be a threat to herself,but a threat to others.During a period of a month my Wife went beyond mental illness to out of control insanity.On one occasion I had to wrestle a pistol from her grip which she intended to commit suicide with,and on another I wrestled a handful of pills from her hand.And then there were the manic rages when she attacked me and a Police Officer with a pair of scissors when we forced opened the locked bedroom door.It could be described as a scene from the movie Psycho as she ran towards us cussing and lunging with the scissors.But the real fear hit me when I noticed the Officer unstrapping the service revolver from his holster.I quickly stepped in front of the Officer takeing the scissors from her hand and tossing them across the room.We had to forcibly drag her outside the bedroom with her attempting to scratch and bite,to where she was secured to an ambulance gurney and takened away to the Emergency Room.
    During this period of time I would leave for work in the mornings with her being so depressed that she lacked the energy and desire to even get out of bed,and then when I arrived home she had moved all the furniture out of the liveing room and den,and was in the process of painting the walls.I'd set and watch her in a depressed state so great she couldn't get to her feet off the couch as she rambled on about conversations with her long deceased Mother, and then suddenly her state of mind would literally change before my eyes and she would be up on her feet paceing back and forth with animal like grunting sounds.These sudden changes of mental states seemed almost Demonic and I now understand why the Science of 2000 years ago would stone persons displaying these symptoms to death.
    But after 2 stays in Mental Facilities where her condition would improve until after released to home,thankfully my Health Insurance got her into the care of the best Bi Polar Psychiatrist in this area.The constant and rapid changes from depression to mania which the prescribed meds had no lasting effect on left no alternative but the drastic treatment of shock therapy, and combined with this Doctors knowledge of the cutting edge meds available,my Wifes condition was stabilized.She now no longer has the extreme highs and lows plus the hallucinations have ceased,but it was a trade off with tremors of her right hand,and a involuntary shuffeling back and forth of her feet when seated. Now she has emotions and passions that can be compared to that of a cucumber, but before the mental illness took control of her mind she was a out going person with many friends.Now she avoids social encounters and remains entombed within the confines of the house watching reruns on TVLAND and eating microwave burritoes, except when I am on my off days from work and give her a reason to get out of the night gown and out and about.
    She no longer talks of suicide,but a few months back I noticed her giveing away dolls in her porcelin doll collection to her Grand Daughters,plus she began to encourage my Daughters to be there for me should I ever need them.When I questioned her about if she was considering suicide she denied it,but she has learned from the past that admitting thoughts of suicide will get her a stay in a Mental Facility which she hates.I go to work everyday now with the fear of what I might find when I return home.
    From talking to her family members, mental illness runs rampant in my Wifes Mothers side of the family.My now deceased Mother in Law had several stays in the State Mental Hospital after suicide attempts and the list of family members who have died from suicide in the last 3 generations would fill a small grave yard.A cousin of my Wife who is also disabled with Bi Polar Disorder and did an extensive family tree search says these mental problems became rampant when the Great,Great Grandparents who were actually 1st cousins married.It seems the mental illness that plaqued the Royal Lines of Europe due to inbreeding may have likewise left it's curse on my Wifes family,with Bi Polar disorder now rearing it's effects in my Wifes youngest son.
    My Wife has gained over a 100 pounds since her major mental breakdown, due to the meds and her physical inactivity.Obesse and no longer takeing any pride in the application of facial make up,well she really is not much to look at,but she's my soul mate and I love her.And though I worry about her commiting suicide one day or the obessity combined with a 2 pack a day cigerette addiction doing her end,I guess that mentally I have prepared myself for it if the Grime Reaper should take her before I.

    Old 03-21-2006, 11:13 PM   #4
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    Re: My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

    I'm so glad your wife had the sense to seek out help and get some. Yes the meds are going to make her feel tired,very much so. Can you get her some help with the house and kids in the mean time till she feels better? She should stay on meds,because depression is a killer,& you don't what her going down that road. I was in her shoes 6 years ago,had a meltdown,& just vegged out mentally, from stress,anxiety,depression. she needs help,she is ill.


    Old 04-04-2006, 05:42 AM   #5
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    Re: My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

    Hello there,
    My wife has BP too. It's a hard road, but one that can be traveled. The meds can take time to concour. It's a lot of trial and error. It took over 4 years to get my wife's just about correct. Heck, even now they have to be tweaked.
    God Bless


    Old 04-04-2006, 06:29 AM   #6
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    Re: My wife has been diagnosed as being BP - I need help...

    ROB :

    My Father,Sister,Brother,and my Son and along with Myself, all are bipolar.

    I just want to share with you this story.

    Subject: humpback whale

    If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle on Thursday, Dec. 14, 2005, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

    A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her, a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

    They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around--she thanked them.

    Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

    May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate----to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you.

    And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.


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