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  • I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

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    Old 03-21-2006, 04:15 PM   #1
    coddylove
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    I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    love my wife a great deal but half the time she is yelling at me and
    screaming how unhappy she is and how much she wants to leave me and it
    really hurts and then 2days later she will turn around and cry on my
    chest late at night telling me how much she loves me and that she will
    never leave. the other day she said that she wanted a divorce. Then
    the next day we were groccery shopping and she was touching me and
    smiling at me and acting as if nothing had happened and then this
    morning we ran into another problem and then she just started yelling
    again saying tht she is tired of giving me chances. Trying to talk
    calmly with her is almost impossible she blows everything out of
    proportion and arguing with her is like arguing with a wall there is no
    sense of logic. like i said before i love her and don't want to loose
    her but i am really hurting right now.

     
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    Old 03-21-2006, 09:45 PM   #2
    seriousperson
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    If you have the patience, which it sounds like you possibly do, keep in mind that when she says she wants to leave, what she really means is that she desperately wants you to beg her to stay. It's up to you to decide if you want to be in this kind of relationship. She could have hormone imbalance, bipolar, or any one of a dozen other problems. I hope you are able to get her some help; she probably wants to divorce herself. I'm divorced 16 years and was once that kind of wife.

     
    Old 03-22-2006, 08:26 AM   #3
    bpd_bipolar
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    I used to be married, it lasted for 5 years. There were a lot of factors to it, but he had no disease and I have BiPolar and BPD. I am not sure how he put up with me. I wasn't on the right meds and it took a toll on each of us.

    You need to be strong and no matter how much you want to give up, if you love her and it seems you do, then get her to a doctor and get her help. Along with medication and therapy things will be better than they are. Go to therapy with her if you want, get counseling........it will take some time, but you guys will be oh k.

    Good luck and I hope the best for you guys.

     
    Old 03-30-2006, 12:48 AM   #4
    SecretAgent2
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    It doesn't necessarily mean your wife has bipolar. Has something been going on to trigger her? Have you done something? You mentioned she said she is 'tired of giving you chances'. Did you do something to upset her? Affair, lie, etc.? If not, maybe she has a hormone imbalance. Maybe she doesn't know how to communicate her feelings and gets to the end of her rope and blows. Sounds like some counseling for you two may help. Also the counselor would see signs of bipolar if they thought she had it. Does she go manic and can't stop doing things...and then other times get really depressed and do absolutely nothing? That could be bipolar. If she's just blowing up at you maybe she has an anger problem, communication problem, hormone problem, etc. Try to go to couples counseling. Good luck. Sounds like you love your wife. She's lucky to have you.

     
    Old 04-04-2006, 03:05 PM   #5
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    Oh my gosh, when I read this, it made me start to cry....I am the same way. I don't know how many times I have told my husband to not let the door hit him in the A --on the way out, screamed at him about how much I hated him, told him he was worthless, and the list goes on. I wish there were a magic wand that could change all those outbursts, but unfortunately there isn't. Until they find the right combination of drugs, you may have to endure this. Does she go to a support group, or therapist? You may need to see one for yourself as well. I was once married to an alcoholic, and they told me at that time that the ten step program can be used for any circumstance. Maybe it can help you. I know, for myself, I could tell when the "moods" were coming, so I would go out for a long drive and listen to the music I enjoyed the most in my car, or I would go in the country, and take a dead limb, and smack the heck out of a dead tree. Believe me, it worked. You might want to try it sometime. Good Luck

     
    Old 04-04-2006, 11:04 PM   #6
    Ashley C
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    Woa....this sounds so much like me. I have a very loving supporting husband and I am constantly acting the same way you say your wife is. I love my husband with all my heart and I would never leave him...but I often say hurtful things that I don't mean and react in ways very similar to your wife. I was diagnosed bipolar two weeks ago and my moods constantly shift like you described your wife saying she wants a divorce one minute and then crying on your shoulder the next. This is a major struggle for me that I am trying to overcome. Being bipolar makes our moods switch very quickly and we can get very aggressive and angry during manic stages. None of us on this site can diagnose your wife, but comparing what you said to me...me and your wife sound just alike, and I am bipolar. I agree with the others that it could be a number of things especially hormone inbalances. My best advice would be to talk to her and express your feelings. Be open with her, and convince her to get help. I have been on medicine since being diagnosed and although things aren't 100 % better, they are a WHOLE LOT BETTER than they were! The best thing you can do is not take it to heart when she says and does hurtful things and be there for her...help her to get help. It sounds like you truly love her and you know she loves you. Be there for her and I wish you luck!

     
    Old 05-02-2006, 12:44 PM   #7
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (thank you for your help)

    First off i really wanted to thank everyone who has replied to my post as all your messeges have helped me a great deal and helped me to stop feeling alone. With reguards to my wife, things have gotten a little better especially since the summer time is coming up. But she still has her outbursts usually every couple of days. The other day early in the morning she said to me that she thinks that I dress like a "f#g" I found this to this to be very hurtful because she is black and I am not i don't want to dress like some type of gangster with my pants half way off of my but and i happen to like my jeans not tight but fitting and my company has just now released its business dress code and i am really taking advantage of this and wearing flip-flops alot of the time. this she used to fuel her reasoning for stating that she is not attracted to me any more and said that this was the reason we were not not romantically involved any more. LOL i was just chalking it up to marrige. at first i went off on my stubborn male i am not changing for anyone thing but after a few hours at work i let it go and said that we could make a day of going to the mall and she would be able to pick out my clothes b/c i am here to please her. Do you think that an image change is ok or am i appearing to weak and conformant. although this was propositioned she still seemed unhappy then in an email lazter that day she said the she knows that i hate her somtimes and that she even hates herself sometimes for the things that she says to me. Believe it or not this hurt me even more because no matter what she ever said to me i could never hate her. I also especially dislike the fact that she hates herself. I dont know what else to do to make her realize that i love her and that it will never change. oh on a better note i have planned a trip to a spa/hotel in florida for her b-day to pamper her and relax her for 7 days she needs it we need it. it feels good to know that i can actually talk to other women about this and not have her get jealous. All of my guys say to jus sleep with someone else and i could never do that because i have devoted myself to her and marriage is not something that i take lightly. I just want her to realize that i am in it for the long haul.

     
    Old 05-02-2006, 01:04 PM   #8
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    no none of the above i have ocd so i have the tendency to write all of my faults down and no to all of the above i mean ther may have been a few lies but nothing more than a white lie like no i dont have any money on me when i know i do or i'm sick and can't do the dishes in which case she will just leave them there until i am feeling better. but i hear what u are saying i could be more willing to change certian bad habits like stop burning the food or do something more to take the stress off of her. but i still worry about my own heart failure

     
    Old 05-02-2006, 01:24 PM   #9
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    Angry Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    Where have you guys been all my life? Though I am sorry for the fact that anybody has to endure these kind of difficulties, it is somewhat comforting to know that there is a forum like this to sound off and try to get help.

    I have also suspected for a long time that my wife has some variation of a bi-polar condition. She is prone to going from ying to yang in no time flat, and I have found this alarming. She once was on Citalopram, then stopped the dosage because she was feeling better. Two years later, her depression flared up with a vengeance, and the doctor put her on Prozac. Side effects were devastating, as one day I came home and found her crying hysterically and wanting to commit suicide. Went to the doctor to go back to the old medication, which again, she has left behind. She has always blamed circumstances and past insults for her condition, a perennial scapegoater to say the least. When she in her down mood, there is a look of utter dysphoria on her face, her lips curl downward, she shakes her head back and forth, mumbles things to herself, rolls her eyes back and forth. She is Spanish and has a very bad temper, but add to that this condition, and you can imagine my predicament.

    She has never had an official doctor's diagnosis and no longer treats her depression. From an emotional point of view, I have encountered one dead end after another. I often find myself, angry, scared, confused, and with no sense of hope or peace about the future. It pains me to admit that what has overtaken me is a sense of hatred and resentment. We are not intimate anymore and have been sexually inactive for at least one year.

    I wish there was some kind of silver bullet for this because I have no answers. Internally, I have sort of demoted her to the status of housemate, as I don't feel I have a wife anymore. What do I do? Divorce? Put up with it? Where to put my foot down and how? She denies she is depressed and won't touch meds anymore. S.O.S.!!!

     
    Old 05-08-2006, 03:31 PM   #10
    coddylove
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    hurtful words from the bipolar woman I love

    Wow your circustamce sounds similar to my own only further along. Please believe me when i say this but I feel for you.

     
    Old 05-08-2006, 09:57 PM   #11
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    Re: I think my wife has bipolar disorder (please help)

    coddylove
    You poor soul. I understand what you're going through because I've seen that frustration in every one of the men I've lived with. You're a kind man to want to find a way to help and not give up on her. If she's getting help, look at this as a transition time and try to be supportive and loving even when it's hard. It will make her feel safer. If she's not getting help, you may have to save yourself.
    Hang in there.
    littletimebomb

     
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