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Old 05-21-2006, 05:38 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Cape Coral Florida
Posts: 2
HerDaughter HB User
Question **question**

Hi- My name is Caytie.

My Mom has always been told she has "depression" no doctor has ever taken the time to go any deeper with her, therefor she has not been on the right meds ever.

I am trying to help her, I am in school for psychology and almost done. I am positive she has BPD, with depression and panic/anxiety. So, I know she needs a mood stabilizer also, just trying to find the right one.

Anyway, my question is.... She is 56, told me the other day that she knows she should go to the doctor but is scared cause she knows something is wrong with her and does not want to go. I guess a couple years ago, she had some bad tests results.

I am helping her "mentally" but we live 2 hours apart. What do you think I should do? Give her an ultimatem (sp?) and go there and to the dr with her?

I have only been helping her for a short time because we kinda grew apart some years ago and are now working on getting back the mother - daughter friendship and closeness we once shared.

Her letting me help her has already made an enormous impact on our relationship, both ways.

Any suggestions? I want to go with her to a Dr. and also tell them what meds she needs to try "first" because, I know it more than likely will take several "trials" before finding the right med.

Sorry, to babble.
Thank you!

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Old 05-22-2006, 06:17 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 463
strongernow HB User
Re: **question**

Yes make sure the Doctor you go to is a Board Certified Psychiatrist because not all psychiatrists are board certified. BE sure to get a second or third opinion if you have the monies. Make sure the psychiatrist is not defensive or combative but wants to listen and help you get good results. If you can find somebody who practices Behavior Modification or Cognitive therapy as a counselor and they are kind and helpful then continue with that. It is important that she is believed and given compassion and trust.

Last edited by strongernow; 05-22-2006 at 06:23 PM.

Old 05-24-2006, 11:10 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Fairmont, WV
Posts: 208
Nakita HB User
Re: **question**


I think it is wonderful that you are trying to help your mother. It is very difficult to help a close family member, especially a mother or a daughter. If you have read any of my posts on this board you will see that I have borderline personality disorder and I am the mother of a daughter that is schziophrenic with bi-polar disorder. I also have a niece who is borderline that I have been trying to help.

When you go see the Psychiatrist make sure you have critera listed that you believe your mother meets. Have ready a list a medications that you believe may help your mother.

for example: I took my niece to the Psychiatrist and listed six critera of BPD that she exhibited on a regular basis.

Topamax is a mood stabilzer that I take twice daily. It helps keep me from having severe mood swings. It also have a side effect of weight loss, instead of weight gain. Most other mood stabilizer, such as Depakote, have the side effect of weight gain. Both my niece and I are over weight. I told the Psychiatrist that Topamax works very well for me and it may work well for my niece.

Celexa is an anti-depressant much like the very popular Lexapro. Lexapro had no effect on me whatsoever. Celexa was like turning on a light switch.

I also take Vistiril, which is an anti-anxiety.

My Psychiatrist appreciated the input and my experience when I brought my niece to see her. Of course, I've had BPD since I was 16 and I am now 43. My niece is only 19. It's too soon to tell whether the meds are working for her yet, but it was starting place.

Most professionals appreciate educated family members that are interested in helping getting treatment for their loved ones. I wish you the best of luck.

Please continue to ask questions.

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