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    Old 03-09-2007, 12:16 AM   #1
    mzpain
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    Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    I am from over at the pain management board, but that is not my most important issue right now. I started reading the threads here and can say for sure, there are stories almost EXACTLY like mine, every heartache I have experienced has also been endured by another mother here so I will put out my story and will welcome anyones advice, criticism, or just understanding and frienship.
    This is a long story and I have to get it all off my chest so what is happening NOW I can get help with. So I will do it in sections. I am sorry if I take too much room on the board. This is soooo important for ME, I have severe pain problems, and my mother died in dec and I disowned my brothers and sisters, and I have my own mental problems, I think that putting all this stuff with my daughter on the board will help me (I havent dealt with it for a while) deal with it in my own way and also others can help since I have NO ONE any more, except God but he dont exactly talk back so....

    First off my current heartache is my 17 yr old bipolar daughter, but the bipolar started with her father my ex who to this day is still in denial and living the with the consequences of that denial. My daughter is not diagnosed. When she was ?10 yrs old ON her bday her father told her his girlfriend was expecting a baby. My daughter went mental and the problems started. Out of no where she started having mental problems, her reaction to his news was way out of proportion, she suddenly HATED me told cops and people I abused her and she wanted to live with her dad. All of it was lies but her father encouraged it, it made him feel special and because it hurt me it made him happy. Very dysfunctional parenting style. Thank God the authorities saw it the way I did and tried to help where her father didnt. Then when she turned 12 yrs old and started her period the real craziness began. She completely changed and the bp monster reared its ugly head. She was constantly running away with the wrong kind of friends, being promiscuous, grandious behavior, sleeplessness, agitation you all know the symptoms, but at the time I didnt see the bp monster. My original family is very dysfunctional so they said she was just bad and needed to be punished and had me in fear that if I didnt involve the authorities they would and I would be in trouble. Well I tried the police, probation, county mental health, primary care doc, and then finally when none of that worked (her dad was working against me thru it all he said she was normal) I had her committed to a adolecent mental unit. They listened to her father and discharged her with no diagnosis OR explanation when her insurance ran out, 2 months later when she wanted to die they took her back and ran her insurance out again and did the same kind of discharge. By the time of her first commital I KNEW she was bipolar but NO ONE would listen, they would only listen to her in denial father who was claiming (to get on her good side) that her sexual life was normal and none of my business??? Crazy huh. Anyway, I was on my own with this stuff, she is abusing drugs being sexual and etc.... I always chase her down and bring her home, but one night I get a call from the police my daughter was in the local hospital she had over dosed on alcohol and almost died. after that she started to listen to me and think of the bp being possible but just 2 weeks from the OD she runs to her dads and her probation officer lets her, she goes to her dads and he gives her alcohol, pot and lets her have sex with her BF.

    Thanks for reading but I have to stop now I cant typ any longer, I will do more tomorrow. Have a peaceful night.
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    Old 03-09-2007, 05:35 AM   #2
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Hi, MZ ~ Wow.....nothing really surprises me when you read a post from yet another mom wanting to get help for their child who doesn't really want it. It just goes to show what BP can do and how it runs it's own course making the one's life afflicted with it as well as the lives of those around them a pure living hell.

    And if sure doesn't help when both parents are not in the same camp in terms of wanting to seek help out for their child. While I understand that your ex is not acting in the capacity of a loving parent and is allowing his own BP to get in the way of that, so too will your daughter continue to camp out with the parent who is going to allow her to live the BP out. When she is wanting to do what she wants to do in a manic state she will go to any means to get what she wants even if it means being around those who will allow her to ride it out. That would be with your ex who isn't capable of seeing that there is a problem.

    I really feel for you because in reality you only have another year to have any say in what happens in your daughter's life. Who has legal custody of your daughter??? If you do then you may have something to work with. I would suggest gathering up everything you have in terms of documentation, running a paper trail to when all your daughter's problems started and any professional help that you have sought and the results. Then I would petition the court to hear your concerns and ask for their intervention in helping you get the help that you need for your daughter. Plead with them and tell them that you only have a year left as her mom to get her that help and are trying to do everything in your power to get it without any cooperation from her father. You may wish to run this through a legal aid office to see what other options you may have. You may be able to sign off on an involuntary to have your daughter committed. Another thing you can do is if your daughter shows any acts of violence towards you while in your home you can call the police and tell them that she has shown signs of mental problems and that you want her brought to the state psych unit for a full evaluation.

    It is obvious that your daughter does not want any help and unfortunately, even if you get the courts to back you up, if she is not receptive to getting help she may just manuver the system and just go back to her lifestyle. Bottom line, your daughter must want the help for herself....they can get her on the right meds and she could come out and just stop taking them. However, if she got a taste of feeling better on the meds (stability) she has a much better chance of opening up to the reality that she does have an illness that is out of her control and for which there is treatment.

    Mothers are known for their tenacity of never giving up hope so long as there is still hope to be found. I see that you still hold onto hope of helping your daughter and it is that hope and faith that most likely will pull you through. Keep on fighting but also realize that you must take care of yourself. Most importantly, let your daughter know that you are there for her when and if the time comes that she wants the help to getting her life back on track. Also let her know that you love her and all that you do for her is out of love even though she may not quite understand. Acknowledge her pain within and that there is still hope for her to have a happy life and that you will do everything you can do in your power to find her the help that she needs and that all she has to do is ask.

    That is what happened with my 15 year old....her life was unraveling at an unbelievable speed and I said all that I just described to you and she started crying and I asked her if she wanted help as I took her in my arms and she said YES and I promised her that as her mom I was going to find it for her....and I did.

    YOu will find the opportunity to do the same....it will be when things are all out of control and she is mad and upset but in all of that she is also a scared, confused, and ffirghtened litttle girl what doesn't quite know what to do and is waiting for somebody strong to offer her hope to pull her out of the darkness and despair of her life and lead her back home. You must sieze that moment and never give up showing her that there is still hope to being happy again....she just has to want it.

    I will pray that the moment comes for you to do what you need to do for your daughter. I truly understand how you must feel knowing that your daughter is hurting and not being able to get her the help that she needs.

    I hope that some of what I say gives you hope. I have an 18 year old who I am concerned about and have done the same thing....only she has been fighting me all that way. She went off to college and has just a matter of days ago told me that she knows something is wrong and asked me to make an appointment with a doctor. She thinks it is ADD, and perhaps it is, but the most important thing is that she has come to the realization, all on her own, that she is not doing well and needs help. So, Mz....there is hope and I am here to tell you that having lived through it and come out of it still hoping and still believing that my two girls will be happy once again.

    Please know that you are not alone and that there are many other moms here who know how difficult a journey this is and how much easier it will be having others walking beside you. Take my hand and I will help you through....

    ((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody

     
    Old 03-09-2007, 04:53 PM   #3
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Oh Goody you have really made me feel welcome, thank you I really need that right now, dont get me wrong my buddies on the pain management board are great but right now my pain takes a back seat to my daughter and I cant talk about my problems about her there.
    I will take the time tonight to finish my story, this is crazy but what you have read is less than half the story. I promise after I get my back pain under control this evening, I will type the rest, if I be more direct and to the point I'm sure I can get all out and make it shorter. Believe me you will be blown away by the rest of the story, I left off last night and she was only 14.Thanks again for being so welcoming, I have been afraid I may have a break down, but with the help here and God I think I will be ok. Take Care and I will finish this evening.
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    Old 03-09-2007, 05:33 PM   #4
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Hello,
    I second Goody's welcome, and she and I are both fellow back pain sufferers as well.

    We have a thread going about our bipolar children that you might want to look at some time. It is getting kind of long though so it's probably easier for you to just ask the questions you are mainly interested in at the moment.

    There are several moms with teens and I'm the old lady of the bunch with a 25-year old son who has been stable, healthy and well for 2 years. We've been through quite a lot together in the last months. This is a great place to vent, ask questions, get support and realize there are others out there going through similar things with their kids. You can also learn from those on the board who are bipolar, perhaps the most useful perspective.

    Welcome. I hope you will find the support and friendship here that I have.
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    Old 03-09-2007, 09:11 PM   #5
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    I know very well how your daughter's instability can make you mental. When my daughter (now 15) was unstable, I had to start on Wellbutrin and Xanax, just to keep myself together. Every day was full of so much pain on my side, seeing my daughter so completely out of control. We went through a rough 6-8 weeks recently in which she was extremely belligerant and just impossible to be around. I hate to say, but it is the truth, that there were days I just did not want to deal with her. But as moms we keep doing all we can to help our children, praying the whole time that this will be the day things turn around. When she was first diagnosed, she refused to believe she was ill and went so far as to blame the illness on her father and I. She got better, but in January she had the most belligerant and nasty attitude (mostly because she got caught lying). She has made a complete turn in her attitude and is taking on the responsibility of her grades, assignements and the way she speaks to all of us. I wish I could tell you this happened quickly, but it has been 18-20 months of work. It will most likely take another hospitalization before your daughter gets the mental health care she needs if she is resistant right now. Abusing drugs, alcohol and sex is very common in people with BP as it is a way to self medicate their pain. Because she is stilll underage I would take the next time she abuses alcohol, drugs or if she is even slightly physically abusive to you to call the police and an ambulance. If she comes home drunk, drugged or does not come home at all, make that call because her behavior is a danger to herself and others. Don't feel bad, guilty, or question your decision. You will cry and she will be angry. Always keep in mind that this is your daughter's life, and it is in jeopardy. This is what we had to do and if I had not had our doctor on the phone holding my hand, I may have not made the call. But I know it was the best thing we every did and the most difficult. The only way to beat this disease and get to the point of stability is to keep perservering for your daughter, even when you think you can no longer go on.

    Most of all, get help now for yourself from a pdoctor and if your daughter will not go to an appointment, have him/her lined up with a plan (where to take her, if the pdoc will see her in the hospital) the next time she gets out of control, because if she is bipolar, it will happen. This is your window of opportunity. She is getting to the age in which it will be very difficult to to force her to get into treatment.

    There is life after stability. Untreated bipolar disease will continue to progress, but with the right medication and therapy, things can and do get better. I would not have thought so months ago, but our daughter is proof. We are always looking to signs of a setback, but each stable day is a step toward a normal life, a full life and a happy life.

    Keep posting. You will learn so much from others experiences here. I know I have.

     
    Old 03-09-2007, 11:24 PM   #6
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    hi guys, well here I go I want to get the rest of my nightmare out to night so you all know where I am at daily because I am getting very scared for myself.First of all just so ya know technically my daughter is alright, I am actually concerned, for a change, more about me because as I have always feared when you cross that magic line mentally, like the phrase "gone over the edge", I am afraid of what could happen because I am rational now and all, but when you lose it, I just am scared of what happens.

    Ok, therapy time. HaHa. Well I left off when she was 14, 2 hospital admissions, cycling 3-4 times a year for 2 yrs.,an alcohol overdose, cigs,pot,cocaine and too many promiscuous escapades to count. All this time I was fighting the whole world about the fact that she was bipolar, except her, she calmed down and we talked ALOT, we were very close and she herself realized she was bp. I educated her on some of her behaviors that just werent her and how it related to bp and she accepted it and we together vowed to fight the world until it accepted her as bp. The system let her down the help that was supposed to be there wasnt. Since she knew and accepted herself as bp, I felt that was the biggest problem to overcome, since I wasnt going to get anywhere with the authorities or the county mental health, I HAD to have her accept it in order for her to try and fight it. I have been soooo lucky because we now have a mental clinic that says that even if they cant diagnose her until she is manic, they will deal with her as if she does have a diagnosis and as soon as they can diagnose her then we can talk meds. Only problem is that when she is manic, she wont go in.
    7/2002 12 yrs. Period started and so did the Bipolar.
    7/2003 13 yrs. Alcohol overdose and her realization of BP.
    In Dec. 2003 She met online a boy and it turned out to be the stepson of a guy I used to date. They met face to face 1/04 and hit it off. He actually was a good kid and he kept her stable, I felt my prayers for relief were answered. To her he was like lithium. They have stayed together, are together now. There have been a couple of childish short term break ups but they got through them ok. When those occurred I was petrified she would lose it and go major manic but because we were close she was aware of her condition and she kept her bad behavior to a minimum, and a break in 7/05 she was medicated for depression by the same therapist she has now (but dont see). I was concerned about her taking hormonal birthcontrol and tried to get her on the IUD so she couldnt stop it well because she had never had a baby they wouldnt do it and end of Nov.05 she became pregnant.
    Now all this time being bp she was a very smart kid but didnt do school well, when she did sleep she was like her dad and went to bed at 1-2am but not fall asleep until 4-5am, School suffered but they passed her anyway all thru junior high (6-8grade) and freshman year too she went into special school still apart of the regular school but way easier started later, shorter.She continued thru school while pregnant, just half heartedly. In 8/06 my grandson was born and I feared post partum depression or psychosis but she did just fine. Right before she gave birth we worked real hard to keep her in school but tried to get her into a special program thru the reg. school district. After the birth we fought and got her in this program that was all on the computer at home with her teacher stopping at our home weekly. It was perfect she could take care of the baby, no child care still do her work at whatever hour sh chose and it was super easy. Things couldnt have been better, I went to every doc appointment with her and held her hand as she had a csection, her pregnancy and birth mimicked my first so closely it was weird.
    I cant talk about the father of the baby or anything like that in case she reads this, I can just say her longtime boyfriend is acting as father.

    Well I am feeling overwhelmed right now and am going to have to stop typing. The only thing left to tell is how she has changed, hates me, knows her behavior could cause me to REALLY lose it and yet she continues. I have never felt this much hatred from a person in my life I cant even I have to finish later or tomorrow. Thank you every one I feel so at ease here and appreciate you all accepting this crazy outsider in to your circle. Thanks Take care and Bless You All.
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    Old 03-10-2007, 11:02 PM   #7
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Dear Mz,

    I have read the posts and feel the pain as well as the hope that is there. It is rough not only to have a child who is bp but to also be one yourself. Which is my case. My son doesn't live with me and he is angry all the time. He hates the world and most of those who live it on it. Sadly the grandparents he does live with are not doing him any favors by allowing him to stop his meds entirely. They feel he is just fine simply because someone else said he was. I expressed my concern and it was ignored. A relative of mine where he lives is a known drug addict, alcoholic, and thief. His grandparents are well aware of this but apparently decided it is ok for him to hang out with that relative. I try to communicate with him by letter or net whenever I can. The problem is that he ignores and chooses not to respond back. He refuses to believe that anything is wrong with him or that he needs his meds. Now he is almost seventeen and there is not much I can do about it.

    We love our children and do the best we can for them and by them. Somehow they forget we are no more perfect then they are. And yet, they seem to hold us to some higher standard then the rest of the world. They want you to fix things without telling you anything might be wrong. I guess I should have added ESP as well to that. The thing is I don't give up hope or reaching out to him. I let him know that I love him and that will never change. When and if he decides I might be worthy of conversation then I will listen and try to be the mom I always have been. Sometimes they get angry and I don't think it is always at us but more at themselves for getting into messes they can't get out of so easily. It is easier to thrust that anger on someone else even when you do love them very much and know they love and care about you as well. Guide her, let her know you are there, try not to take the anger so personally (it probably isn't really meant that way though it might feel that way), and be viligant as you can about not only moods but other areas with her. I am sure her hormones must be playing havoc with her moods right now. So that could also be a part of it as well.

    (((hugs))))

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    Old 03-10-2007, 11:37 PM   #8
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Everyone's an outsider until they've posted a couple times. I 'm sorry you're in so much pain. Please finish your story soon....hugs, Tsohl

    Last edited by tsohl; 03-10-2007 at 11:38 PM.

     
    Old 03-11-2007, 03:15 AM   #9
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Thanks all for listening? or I mean reading my pain. Well today has beenbad but because of my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I am not feeling it yet, dont know if I ever will I am so screwed up, but my therapist says my not feeling may be a good thing, and my boyfriend suggested it may be God is taking the feelings away so I can maintain until I can work through the feelings.

    Well I left off with the baby being born, all that was fine and she was in that great homeschooling program and was doing real well but around the end of dec.06 something happened, her boyfriend lost his job, she was stressed being a new mom, new negative attitude towards school. My daughter isnt always honest with me so I am not sure just what was going on but in the beginning of jan07 she decided she couldnt handle school and wasnt going to do it. She told me she was going to get her GED and that was it she said there wasnt anything I could do about it, that is just the way it was going to be. I tried to accept it and encourage her to at least get back into the old in school program she was in while pregnant or go to a school for young mothers where the baby could be with her. This was because I cant lift the baby I dont trust my arms, because of my spine problems. Well she played me for about a month acting like she was going to do something like I had suggested, then the secretive behavior started andI was told to just leave her alone. It wasnt long before she had to tell me she had went out behind my back and gotten a job, which because we were on TANF (welfare) and in public housing that would screw up everything. I havent been able to work for the last 5 years and am trying to get my SSI papers completed. She said she would just have to pay the bills herself, which I didnt believe anyway. Well our last check was on feb 1st, we still get medical and foodstamps. IWhen I told her I needed money for the electric she kept putting me off with stupid excuses well she has had money and her boyfriend gets unemployment. Oh and before we lost the welfare my boyfriend who helps me with my medication costs lost his job due to lies made by his employer and he has 3 kids from past that he has to pay child support for. Anyway my daughter wants to move out now instead of when she turns 18 that is in Nov, she knows I wont let go easily I worry about her and especially the choices she makes for that baby. She accuses me of being selfish and using her for the state aid I get because she is here, I think her bfriend puts that in her head I now know what a dumb a** he is. When I told her no she wasnt going anywhere I explained I was responsible for her until she is 18 and I can get in trouble if she goes and does anything wrong or criminal. I also pleaded with her to understand if I lose my medical I dont know what will happen to me and to just give until she is 18 to try and get my own medical and SSI, I am going to the doctors many times a month and since my mother died in dec have been going to the therapists weekly.
    She doesnt care she has pulled so many things on me recently to try and make me go crazy or mad and just let her go, it has been so stressful my therapist is very concerned that I cant take this skeem she is pulling. Just today she informed me that she is taking the phone/internet out of her name, it was put in her name because I had a back bill and we needed it for her schooling ASAP, I have always paid all charges on it. Then the big blow she says she is moving out in 2 weeks andI can call the cops if I want she will tell them I smoke in the house and it is bad for the baby. Well I havent smoked in the common areas since the baby was born and I only have smoked in my room and my office (doors shut towel on bottom and fan in the window). She did too. Her and her bfriend were taking the baby out in freezing weather, out til all hours of the night etc... well I was complaining to her all the time and she just tell me it her baby, the baby had a horrible cough and she came out of his docs (I am not allowed anymore) and said the doc says I have to stop smoking in all areas of the house, I asked her if she was going to quit completely because the hospital said that the smoke on her clothes was bad for the baby, she said thats different she doesnt have to stop. Now she knows I have smoked for over 20 years and when I stay outside it makes my joints and spine ache until I can barely move, but I know she is just looking for a way out and going to try and use my smoking to do it. My bfriend doesnt smoke and he says she is full of crap nothing in the house smells like smoke, but today she told me "I know you and you are smoking in the house still so I am moving out in 2wks and no authority will listen to you when I tell them I smell smoke in the house". I cant win I just dont have the mental capacity to fight all this. I am sooooo worried about the baby because I have been suspicious of her and her bfriend smoking pot and I KNOW I have smelt it on them she said I was crazy wrong, I wish I would have called the police at that time, but she has me thinking maybe it has all really made me crazy. I cry every day because I am not allowed to have a relationship with that beautiful baby andevery time I get to at least talk to hi he just beams the bigest smile at me i type later
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    Old 03-11-2007, 12:11 PM   #10
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Dear Ms. Pain;

    I hear the heartbreak through your words. I wish I had more to offer other then what I can and I am sure it will not come across all that well or as it is really intended. I know with my son I had to let him go so that he will hopefully learn from his mistakes. I do not know why our children do not see the wisdom in what we have experienced in life and are only trying to help them. I know that a part of it is the Bipolar but it's not all of it really either. And in your situation the hardest thing added to it is that you have a beautiful grandbaby who is not able to say what is needed or what is said. The child's welfare is at this stage very important not just to you but I am sure others as well. I know if she goes the medical and other things will be bigger burden then what you might be capable of handling. I also that without her in the home and the added stress in some ways it might be a better thing as well. I know you will worry about the baby and rightly to do so. Especially since she sounds as if she spiraling down hill at a great pace. I know she probably truly believes in what she is saying and doing and might not see how harmful her actions really are. She might have to hit rock bottom in order for her to see more then what she can at the moment. I know Doctors don't like or encourage parents or anyone in the home to smoke around a child let alone a baby. Yeap there is still second hand smoke attached to your clothes and so forth but I think she is not only pulling your chain, perhaps took what the doc said out of context, or like you think trying to irk you off enough so you say get out. And perhaps if that she what she truly wants then let her hear it and follow through. I know easier said then done. Let her experience being a young mother without a diploma or GED in the real world with real bills and problems larger then what she has now. Though her boyfriend may have unemployment now it doesn't last forever. Then what? It may help A) to get you back into a better place for you B) for her to really get a better view not just of herself but the things and people around her C) she might in the end come to conclusion that it was not the brightest idea in the world and perhaps she'll try harder to do better. It is as I said before easier said then done and I do know that part of it. With my own son he doesn't have a child and he does like I mentioned before have his grandparents but he is almost 17 years old. Soon he will have to join the real world as well. I am positive it will be a real eye opener for him. Or so I hope. Sometimes in order to help those we love we have to start with ourselves first.

    Emerald

     
    Old 03-11-2007, 01:00 PM   #11
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    Re: Bipolar Daughter Making Me Mental!

    Mamiacp....what a terrific post, I echo your words wholeheartedly and your post gave me hope as well...I am into this about 8 months now since my daughter was officially diagnosed and yes, it took perserverence on our part and a lot of sweat and tears and tons of sacrifice on our part as her parents. Yes, as you say, it is our opportunity to get the foundation layed out for their future stability and I thank God everyday that she was diagnosed giving us time to get her on her way before she is out on her own.

    Emerald ~ Good to see you around...my heart goes out to you but I am here to give you hope. My older daughter, who has had very similar probles to ERin, denied anything being wrong. Her behavior continues when she is home from college and God only knows what is going on at college. But I let go knowing that the time would come that she would ask for help. And if finally did. She feels that she may have ADD and described alot of the symptoms that she was having and being that ADD and BP share alot of the same symptoms I was so glad that she was finally recognizing that she was having problems and asking for help. I have a feeling that the same will happen with your son. Back off a little bit, he knows your concerns and even though he doesn't seem to be listening he is...it is banked away and will come in handy when he is ready to hear it and act on it. Just let him know that you love him and are there for him. The last thing I said to my 18 year old daughter before she left for school was that I was concerned about her having BP as well and even though she was not in agreement that I had discussed and educated her enough to know if it were a problem because if it was it wouldn't go away. And I told her that if the time ever came that she wanted help that I would find it for her. Her phone call asking me to line up an appointment with the pdoc was a gigantic step and a blessing that I have been waiting for.

    MZ ~ I too have chronic back problems...degenerative disc disease as well as osteoarthritis. I cannot do things that I use to and am in constant pain. Just standing up cutting some veggies up the other night had me on icepacks. Anyway....I am going to make a suggestion to you from experience. It will make a big difference who initiates the call to the authorities. If your daughter has an episode I want you to call the police. Tell them that your daughter is unstable and you are afraid that she is going to hurt herself. Tell them that she is 17 and lives with you and you also have some concerns for your grandbaby. I KNOW that this will be the most difficult thing you have ever done but it may be the only way of getting your daughter the help that she needs. Do this only if she is having an episode.

    Next....the day that she is moving out call the authorities so that you can have it documented that she is moving out against your wishes and that you are concerned about her well being as well as her baby's. Has she been officially diagnosed as being BP???? I apologize but forgot because if she has then tell the authorities that she has been and you are really afraid for her safety. MAKE SURE THAT YOU CALL THE AUTHORITIES FIRST BECAUSE IF SHE DOES SHE CAN FABRICATE JUST ABOUT ANYTHING FROM YOUR ABUSING HER OR HER BABY TO GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE!! It is vital that you call the authorities first. Don't even let her know...don't fight with her when she goes to leave just make the call and follow through with it. You have power in the sense that she is still a minor and you should use every single bit of that power to get her the help that she needs.

    BPers have the ability to REALLY have you thinking that you ARE crazy. I cannot tell you how many times my daughter has twisted things around to make me feel like I am crazy!!! She has told all of her friends that I am and that is the most painful part of this disorder.....it really hurts!! But the thing to remember is that it is the disorder talking and not your daughter. You must separate the dis-ease from the person....not easy to do but it will be alot easier until she is treated.

    One more thing....document EVERYTHING and if possible get a voice activated recorder so that you can prove to the authorities that what you are saying is true. Don't let her know about this but you need to be one step ahead of her.....exhausting but well worth it.

    We are here for you....take care of yourself because your mental health is important too. I KNOW how emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting this is....I live it everyday but it does get better once they are diagnosed & on the right meds. We are still doing a little tweaking and it is still very new or us....we are only 8 months after our daughter has been diagnosed and 6 months of being on the meds. There is more work to be done but it seems that the hardest part is behind us. The hardest part was convincing our daughter to accept the treatment....when they are untreated and in a hypomanic state (which I suspect your daughter is in) there is no way to reason with them....they are irrational and truly believe that the problems lie within everybody else. And there is really nothing you can do to change their mind. It took an attempted suicide and court mandated hospitalization to finally get the help my daughter needed. And once she was on the med it was easier for her to see that she had a problem and to accept the treatment.

    You will get there too...have faith & hope, the two most important God given gifts we have. It's time to hold onto them knowing that they will see us through this storm.

    ((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody

     
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