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    Old 06-29-2007, 11:42 PM   #1
    liz49
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    My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    I have posted here beofre about my 20 yo daughter who has was dxed with BP about 2 years ago. She has been stable on Lithium and Prozac--well, stable for her, for the last few months and it has been pretty ok, for a change, after months and months of the roller coastering that all the other drugs caused....until tonight...her BF broke up with her..all hell broke loose. He called me, sobbing and said she had screamed out the door saying she was going to kill herself (her usual tack when things don't go her way). No one could get her to answer her phone, so finally I had to call the police and have a "look out" put out on her & her car.
    She was driving around the city making random calls to friends and leaving messages saying she didn't want this now ex-BF to come to her funeral-. I called her, left a msg telling her I'd called the police & that she needed to come home, but she refused to call me. Finally after a couple of hours, one of her friends was here and she got a call from her. Her friend said "your mom is so sad, why won't you come home? Why do you do this?" My daughter said "All my mom does is get hysterical & threaten to put me in a hospital". I said "Let me talk to her"--and took the phone and very calmly & quietly explained to her that I needed to know she was safe & wasn't going to hurt herself. She said, "Maybe not tonight, but I make no guarantees about tomorrow--call off the cops and I'll negotiate". I said, "Just tell me where you are" She said, "I need to get away for a week or so" (drama queen!!) I just asked her again--"Where are you? North or south?" She said, "South, I am going to California- (Ok, we're 700 miles from CA!)-but I am going to stop for the night in a hotel" (So I did a little sleuthing and she's in a motel less than 20 miles from home) She's been calling the BF for the last hour and crying to him--he finally turned off his phone. I did not call off the police, so they may yet find her and if they do she might get picked up and placed in a psychiatric facillity. Part of me hopes this happens--she gets so darn dramatic and over the top..... honestly--we have been going thru these huge dramatic outbursts over everything!! DO they ever get better? Can people ever learn how to roll with the punches of life? Would a stay in a psych ward help her or make her worse? Would group therapy help her? She has a counselor, but she must have made her mad because she hasn't been going. Everyone in the family saw this breakup a mile away--why didn't she?? This poor kid who broke up with her is so traumatized--he is leaving to go to school back east and I bet he leaves tomorrow-just to not have to see her again!. Can anybody give me a shred of hope? I just feel so desperate about this child. She screams at me, she was so mad I'd called the cops, but she told her BF she was going to drive off the canyon road--and she's tried to kill herself before, so it's not like they're hollow threats---do BP's ever become socially aware?? I am so wound up and angry and tired and weepy tonight. I just want to give up--yet I know I can't.

     
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    Old 06-30-2007, 07:12 AM   #2
    greencoppr
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Hang in there. I know I have done things to my wife that have made her feel the same way. Stay strong.

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 08:44 AM   #3
    langlee
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Dear Liz,

    Take a look at Goody's post on the "My daughter has BP" thread. She details what she has been through with her daughter, Erin, and she swears by the long-term hospitilization Erin had last summer. Today Erin is in a much better place.

    I am recommending you go there to read it because I think Goody has had the most experience with hospitilizations and it sounds like something your daughter could definitely benefit from to get more stabilized and have some intensive therapy.

    Good luck and keep posting.

    Hope

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 09:11 AM   #4
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Hi Liz,

    When we didn't see a post from you in awhile, I was hoping that meant your daughter was doing ok. Is she still living with you?

    I don't know to what degree hospitalizing her would help. So much of it depends on the hospital and what kind of care she would get. I think you'll find that since she is an adult they won't be able to hold her past the manditory length of time -- whatever that might be in your state. If they think she really is a danger to herself, they might keep her longer, in which case it might do some good. From what you've said in the past, it doesn't sound like she would willingly stay on to get the help she so clearly needs. It is really a problem trying to figure out what do with our kids when they really need help but don't have the insight to know they need it.

    I hope things are somewhat resolved by this morning.

    Hugs to you!
    xxxTsohl

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 09:34 AM   #5
    liz49
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Thanks to all of you--since my hubby is out of town (seems like he is NEVER here when I need him!) he was patently useless last night--actually I felt pretty calm, my best friend, who is the mom of my daughter's childhood best friend, came over & they were both crying buckets---I was dry eyed b'cuz when you've been thru this so many times, you get a little, what's the word--jaded--and altho they were frantic, I knew that once I knew where she was, I'd be ok. I didn't sleep much last night, & she's yet to come home today. and she very likely won't, but she does not have her meds with her, nor much cash--her CC's are maxed out and so she can't go far.
    I will read Goody's post--she's amazing, as are you, Tsohl. You are right, I hadn't posted be'cuz she seemed better and also because her dad is getting ready to treat his HEPc and it's a brutal 48 week chemo-like therapy and we are really anxious about it. $$ are super tight and the drugs for him are $2K a month, so, yeah, our minds have been on that. We cannot afford hospitilization for her, but if that's what her pdoc decides, we will make her pay for it. We have no choice.

    Thanks again--I knew I'd get up this am and find several replies. You guys are wonderful. Once again we're rock bottom--last tme it was over a "stolen" Ipod, this time a broken heart. How will this kid ever handle the real problems of life?
    Thanks again, my lifesavers, my anonymous friends.
    Liz

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 09:58 AM   #6
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Hi Liz,

    I'm going to alert Goody to your post and have her reply. It will take you days to read through the whole thread to find what you need!! We've been posting for well over a year. Last summer they had to put their daughter in a program and it did her a world of good, but somehow, from everything you've said in the past, I don't get the feeling it would have the same results for your daughter.

    I know you are at your wits' end with her. I don't know how you can make her go, with any kind of serious intent, for therapy. You can insist she attend, but if she isn't willing, how much is she going to actually get out of it? It woud be so great if she could find a support group made up of peers. If she realized there are others out there struggling and succeeding with their disorder, I think it would help her accept her situation.

    Well, try to take a deep breath. Hopefully she'll be home soon.

    Hugs,
    Tsohl

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 02:14 PM   #7
    liz49
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Thank you, Tsohl, I looked and couldn't find the board you were speaking of--
    my daughter did come home this morning about noon. She has been depressed (no shock there) but is home, at least. She is saying now she is going off her meds totally, as they do no good. This also does not surprise me as her pdoc told me 100% of his BP patients will go of their meds at least once. I asked her if she had taken her meds yesterday, she couldn't remember, had she taken them today, said no and wouldn't, either, said "get off my back, woman"--lucky I was standing a distance away and her BFF was here or I might have slapped her---luckily for her I had next to no sleep last night and have no energy today. I did call the police and had the "search" called off. They are actually going to send an officer around tomorrow to check on her--that's protocol in our city, and I am thrilled. She is furious at me anyhow, so I don't really care. Somehow, no matter who or what triggers her mania, I am always, and I mean ALWAYS the one who bears the brunt of the anger. She is currently asleep and I hope she stays that way for about 24 hours. I am going to take her credit card out of her wallet while she sleeps, yep that's cruddy and rotten, but it will keep her from being stupid and running again. The worst thing she did, and she doesn't even realize it yet is this: one of the firneds who was out searching for her last night was one the kids she's supposed to be moving in with in a month. I think he is really worried/mad/scared of living with her when she is like this frequently. He had never seen her manic before and he was terrified. He is re-thinking letting her move into his & his gilfriend's condo--& my daughter was totally planning on this arrangement.
    Well, I have to get a nap--lucky me, my son & his family are moving cross country & they will be here tomorrow night to stay with us for five days (that's where my hubby is--driving with them from CT)--and the room where they are going to stay is the room my daughter has been happily truning into a pigsty this summer. I have to get her to move her crap into the small spare room & have my whole house clean, foodd purchased and my swollen, baggy eyes bright & shiny by 5 pm tomorrow. Act like nothing happened!! (My DIL is a doctor, so she's going to see right thru it all)---maybe she can point us into a rehab/clinic/something place for this kid.
    Thanks again--for your concern and kind words--only the parent of another BP kid can understand the incredible horribleness of this....
    Liz

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 02:42 PM   #8
    barma
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Hi Liz-

    I'm 21 and can relate to your daughter so I thought I might try to give some imput from the other side. First off, my diagnosis is borderline personality in addition to bipolar disorder and I'm wondering if she doesn't have some borderline personality qualities too? Obviously I'm not a doctor or anything but I just see a lot of qualities in what you described that I also find in myself that led to the borderline diagnosis. When my boyfriend took a job driving across the country that leaves him home less than once a week I took it a lot like your daughter- and we weren't even breaking up!! One of the major aspects of borderline personality disorder is abandonment issues. My therapist told me that when someone with borderline personality is broken up with, they deal with it by (sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously) harming or threatening to harm themselves. They believe that this will cause the person who is leaving them to come back to them. When my boyfriend initially left I cut myself- A LOT. I didn't realize why I was doing it until my therapist helped me see why. I guess I (stupidly) thought it would stop him from going. Maybe your daughter things suicide threats will bring her boyfriend back? Also, I hate hate hate being in the hospital. It scares me to death- because of the same issues... I fear being alone, and the hospital is very lonely. I'm wondering if your daughter doesn't have the same fear as me and that's why she wants you to call off the cops and stop threatening to put her in the hospital? I know that must seem like an only solution right now. But I think that maybe if she believes that the hospital is not an option she might be more likely to come home. Maybe she could go to an intensive outpatient program or start intensive therapy sessions? I know you say she is very dramatic and angry and talk about these outbursts... these really remind me of the borderline symptoms I have. I also used to storm out of the house and run away. Then I would come back sobbing and taking lots of klonopin. I'm not at all trying to sound like a know-it-all I'm just trying to help!! Sorry if I'm coming across the wrong way. I think that the lithium and prozac may have been helping her bipolar but something else may help these other problems she has, along with therapy. I was just recently put on seroquel and wellbutrin and it is that combition that has really helped me. Anyway, I'm sorry you are going through this. I know that I have put my mom through hell and back but she has been an absolute angel, and you sound like you are also a really wonderful mother. Your daughter is very lucky to her you standing by her!! Things will get better I'm sure, it just takes time. Hang in there!

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 03:40 PM   #9
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Hi, Liz I am sorry to hear about last night....I have been in similar shoes with my now 16 year old when she was 14....I will never forget that time in our lives of her living much like your daughter everything seeming like drama, her downing Advil because her and a friend had a fight, her cutting herself, wanting a boyfriend and not respecting the guidelines set in place, running away because she needed to do a Spanish assignment.....the irritability, anger, frustration and agitation were a living hell. I must admit at that time I couldn't understand it, I told her that she had nothing to be sad about and at one point even thought that her cutting and suicide attempts were for attention. She even brought up recently how much it hurt her when I told her that she had nothing to be depressed about.....I don't really recall saying that but it is possible because there were actually times that I was thinking it. But now I KNOW better.....at the time I had no idea what was going on....it happened so fast and was a nightmare. She was first hospitalized after her second runaway...when she told her boyfriend, her friends, school social worker, guidance counselor that we were abusing her. With her behavior the lies, cursing, not doing her schoolwork, etc. she losst priveleges and eventually it got so bad that we took everything out of her room except what she needed....her bed, linens, books etc. CPS showed up at our house....she had told them that I had hit her leaving a scratch on her face....a scratch that she told me a few days before when I questioned her that she got from the corner of her armoir door that she ran into. It registered with me that if she cut she would easily self inflict a scratch and told the CPS worker of her history of cutting. They closed the case and then we were called into school by the social worker who advised us that our daughter might be better off at an adolescent home....that out daughter wanted out of our household and most likely would run away. WE actually were contemplating this but I asked the social worker if there would be psychological services telling her that I was so concerned about what was going on, that with her history of a suicide attempt and self injury that I was afraid for her safetly. I also shared with her how CPS had come in to our home when ERin had lied about a scratch to her face saying that I had done it and she had done it to herself to have a way to get out of our home. The social worker asked my daughter if that were true and she admitted it and apparently the social worker was the one who made the report based on Erin's lies and told her how very disappointed she was, that she was obligated by law to report abuse and had believed something that was a lie. She asked Erin to wait outside and advised my husband and I to bring her to the ER and tell them that we were extremely concerned about our daughter, that she was a flight risk planning to run away and has had one suicide attempt and is self injuring and that you need for her to be evaluated. She told us to have them call her if they needed her input but in her opinion ERin needed to be evaluated because something was obviously wrong.

    That was our first hospitalization....where she stayed for a week and was diagnosed with a "mood disorder" and put on a stabilizer and antidepressant. On her followup the doctor decided to stop the stabilizer and increase the antidepressant feeling that she was more of a depressive disorder. She became too sedated and he then changed her to Zoloft. Her behavior worstened and she had more suicidal thoughts and cutting. She was hospitalized a second time and placed on Concerta feeling that her behaviors were impulsive borderline ADD. She stayed for 4 days and with her follow up her Zoloft was increased....we saw her behavior worstening and relayed that off to the doctor who questioned possible drug use. Her drug testing was negative and he further increased it she ended up arrrested for shoplifting while with me, that same night pulling a knife out of her drawer threatening to kill herself and then running out into the dead of the night and not being found by the police until the next day. A week later she took a bottle of aspirin and advil at school and was hospitalized a third time for a week. They continued the Zoloft and Concerta, discharged her home where we put her on safety watch until her court date came.

    I refer to that day as the day that our daughter finally got her life back when the judge, seeing all that we had been through, mandated a full psychiatric evaluation on Erin. She was hospitalized for the 4th time and that is when we finally began to see the light at the end of the tunnel....and that we slowly got our daughter back. When we sat before the team and heard "Bipolar/ADD inattentive type" instead of feeling upset we were relieved. We finally KNEW what she had an how if could be treated. She stayed the entire summer, 10 weeks, and all of us, including my daughter, see that as the time that she finally got the help that she needed.

    It wasn't easy but I am convinced that if we didn't go for the hospitalization that Erin would either be incarcerated in a Juvenile Hall OR dead from a successful suicide attempt. When I questioned the meds they were putting her on I will never forget when the psychiatrist told me that we had more to be concerned about having her unmedicated than any med that she would ever be on. And she was right.

    Liz....it took a long time to get where we are now. But like Tsohl says and we all know you are quite limited in getting your daughter help because first she is no longer a minor which gives you no legal rights and secondly until your daughter is open to acknowledging that she has BP and needs to take her meds then she will continue to live this downwar spiral. You only have two options and that is to call the police and explain that she is a danger to herself or others OR wait until she is in legal trouble and plead with the judge to get her the help that she needs.

    There is another poster, Rhonda, who has a 35 year old daughter and is feeling just like you, helpless, tired and as if there is no hope....read her thread and perhaps you can be of some support to one another.

    It isn't easy but when your daughter finally accepts the help that she needs things will be so much better. I recall feeling much the same way as you at one point....my daughter was convinced that nothing was wrong with her but finally a window of opportunity came when she cried and said that she didn't know why she was doing the things she was doing and I promised her on that day that I would find out why and wouldn't stop until I did. But I KNOW that if she didn't realize that something was wrong for herself that no matter what I found out it would have been useless if she wasn't wanting that help for herself. I pray that your daughter finally sees that she needs help and asks for it.

    I hope this was not too lengthy a post....I thought it would be better than reading through an entire thread to see that I have been there and that things CAN get better.

    Erin is now on Lamictal and Seroquel and the difference in her now compared to just over a year ago is like night and day. It is sooo nice to only have what I see as the "normal teenage behavior" going on. It took us a while to get here and your daughter will too you just keep on loving her and telling her that you are there and eventually your window of opportunity will come. If she is talking about hurting herself as her mom you must let them try to help her even if it means a hospital stay.

    I am here if you have any more questions or concerns.

    Love & ((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 07:05 PM   #10
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Liz, wow , my son is 21 and although not officially (well one time he was) diagnosed with bipolar. i dont blame you, take away those credit cards anything you can do to stop her behaviour at this time is ok. others might disagree but ive been there and did the same..i have cut cell phone service off, took away keys and cleaned out his wallet when he was at his worst. for his own good because he was not aware of how he was acting and re-acting at the time. He was abusing drugs and went thru an inpatient rehab for 30 days. Im not going to tell you hes great because hes not ..its been 4 mths and i would say hes doing ok..hes on a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant. he is able to handle life a little better. but i have to tell you my 18 yr old was dumped by her bf last year and cried for weeks. it was a nightmare and shes not bp..so i can imagine what you aregoing thru on a much bigger scale. i was so worried about her at that time, she would not eat or come out of her room.tissues were thrown all over for weeks. throw in bp and WHEW im speechless. the bottom line here is she needs her meds. and she is going to have to see that for herself...no matter what you do, she still will have to see it for herself.. maybe this will do it for her and it will click in her brain that it is not normal to act like she did..that she needs meds to help her get thru it. do you think maybe she will?

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 08:21 PM   #11
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Thank you--thank you, everyone who so quickly came to my aid today!! I was praying all day for help not knowing what to do and stuck here at home with this sobbing, crazed child (and yes, tho she is almost 21, she is still very much a child) who can always turn everything that happens to her into MY FAULT---and she's screaming at me for calling the police, for forcing her to take meds that don't work (how would she know, she's never taken them properly) therapy that doesn't work (she hasn't been going--got a phone call from the clinic yesterday about her last few missed appts)..my hubby calls me from somewhere along the road between UT and CT and tells me that I am handling this all wrong and that I am overreacting and to ignore her....he'll deal with it when he gets home on Monday!! Finally her BFF from next door comes over and this little angel talks her into to going out for dinner and talks her into taking her meds. She said, ""FIne, just for today, but never again". Whens she came back she said , "well Ihope YOU'RE happy, I took my meds." I said, "You know what? Dr M said that every single one of his BP patients went off theis meds at some point in time, why should you be any different? You are right, I am on your case. While I am glad you took them today, you do whatever you want. It IS your life." She stormed off down the stairs,slammed her door, as everything with her has to be high drama. I was downstairs doing some laundry and she was fussing around and texting the ex-Bf 9poor kid) and I went in the room she's using and she says "I need PRIVACY" and I said "This is the room your brother & his wife & baby are using & I have to get it ready. They'll be here tomorrow" She said "You don't even care that W*** dumped me do you? That my life is in ruins? That I have nothing live for?" I said , "If I had a dollar for every time I'd been dumped I could pay off your car. It happens. I am sorry, but it's part of life, truth is, every guy you date, you either break up with them or you marry them" She just said that was stupid and covered herself up with a blanket. I was totally calm and serene. She is doing everything in her power to get this guy back. It's embarassing.
    I don't know if she has abandonment issues--I have never seen anything close to that. She super independent and has had a lot of BFs before. This one was probably the first she actaully was super physical with, and I think she felt guilty about that and that's a big part of it--I know he was uncomfortable with that part of their relationship b'cuz he actually talked to me about it (weird, huh). PArtly b'cuz of the Bp she is promiscuous and he was worried about how she would be s whiole he is gone for 3 months--he did not think she could be faithful and he had every right to wonder--she wouldn't be. It's embarassing to have a daughter who has slept with so many guys she can't even remember how many. This was important to him and she couldn't prpomise him shed be faithful--she doens't see that as "meaning anything".
    She IS terrified of hospitals, but I have a pretty strong feeling that Monday's visit to her pdoc is going to result in a committment--we cannot go on like this any more. She is too old and too capable of really doing something stupid--last night, to me, was the last straw---trying to drive to California?? What was she thinking?? Meanwhile calling & texting all her friends and making sure that the ex BF knew from everyone that he wasn't wanted at her funeral? This is not clear thinking at all. It's like she can't see past a couple of days down the road.

    As afr as her havning a PD--this is entirely possible, At this point I juts want answers and help for her. I want her hospitalized and helped!! She has gained 50+ lbs in the last year, she looks terrible,. she feels terrible, she;s miserable all the time, I worry every time she walks out the door that she's going to come back ok. She works full time but has her entire paycheck spent in 2 days and is deeply in debt. She borrowed 10K for school last year ans managed to only earn 17 hours of credit. If she doesn;t go to school full time this year she's off our insurance--and then what??

    Wow--I am so tired--but again, thank you for your stories and support. She did come home, she might stay tonight as she is so tired. I am going to try to get her hospitilized this week and hope for the best. I am worn out and have no support from hubby--just from her sisters--and they are great but have their own families to worry about.....I too, hope I can find the light at the end of the tunnel, Goody, like you.

    Thanks--
    Liz

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 09:12 PM   #12
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    oh my you need to have her hospitalized. i wish i knew how to tell you to do that..she is 21 so its not going to be easy..unless she is a danger to herself or anyone else...you might have to just go that route...god bless..

     
    Old 06-30-2007, 10:05 PM   #13
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Hi Liz,

    I think you realize that having her hospitalized will not necessarily solve any of the issues. Something is going to have to click within her in order for it to have an effect. From everything you've said here and in past threads, it doesn't sound to me like she is unhappy with her life or necessarily wants to change anything. It sounds like she thinks things are mostly ok, if you'd just stop ruining things.

    I think back to my son's situation and I really don't think there is much that can be done if the young adult doesn't want to change or doesn't realize s/he needs help. Maybe someone has some experience with this -- maybe if they are in the hospital for a period of time, the message finally gets through. In any case, I do not have any experience with this. I'm here for moral support!!

    I just want you to know that things can get better. I just don't know quite how you get from point A to point B!!

    Do her sisters understand her at all?? Maybe the one that is coming will be able to talk to her and get through to her.

    Hope you get the room cleaned and get some rest!!

    Hang in there.

    HUGS,
    Tsohl

     
    Old 07-01-2007, 12:22 AM   #14
    Jennita
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    I could be way off base here, but it almost sounds like the drama is to get attention or love she feels she isn't getting. You love her, but you become very stoic in her crisis...for example, instead of hugging her and saying you are sorry her boyfriend dumped her, you make light of it. Then she reacts with drama again.

    I really do think you love her but we parents sometimes tend to fall too much into the authority/teaching person that we feel we are supposed to be, yes?

    And the more we insist on our authority, the more they disrespect us. Perhaps it is because they fight for their own respect as an adult because we don't give it to them. But that's what they need. Give it to them and they stop fighting for it. Well, that's how it went for me anyway.

    I noticed too that when I started showing more sympathy even in situations that seemed unimportant, I got closer to my kids. And I realized that those situations, although seemingly no big deal, were really a big deal to my kids.

    I'm not saying don't give her guidance but maybe she's wanting something else too, like a shoulder to cry on, no matter what the situation is?

    I know we want to hold on to our authority but I personally realized that it's best to let go of some of it once the child is an adult. I then only put down "the word" if it involved things that would disrupt our family life, cause danger or whatever. I said they can do whatever they want but don't bring it home and endanger or cause hardship to my life or home because that's only fair. In other words, I will treat them as adults with their own wills and minds as long as they respect the fact that I have rights too, just like they do, to live as I want in peace.

    In most of my concerns with them, I have always stressed that they are my life and I will always worry and not want them to do destructive or illegal things. In other words, if they hurt, I hurt. I basically have, at times, pleaded for their own sakes to stay away from certain things/people in life.

    I never tell them they can't do this or that; I let them make the decisions regarding the way they conduct their own life but I always am never above crying in front of them if I fear they will be hurt by something.

    But I never try to make them do anything. I let them be adult and decide for themselves even if I disagree.

    I think you crying with a friend showed how you love your daughter. Only it should have happened with your daughter instead.

    Like I said, I can't judge or know the whole story with you and yours, but mine comes from the heart.

    I am enjoying a very close, loving relationship with my kids now, both are adults and still at home. We have our problems too, but it seems the pressure is off now that we understand each others needs. Plus I still cry when I fear for them and I don't care if they see it; however, I'm lucky that they seem to have made mostly good decisions although have in the past done some things I wouldn't have approved of.

    They actually sometimes end up alleviating my worries, usually explaining they will always put safety first in all ventures. I guess they finally "get it" that all I want is their health, safety and happiness, nothing more. It takes some kids awhile to figure that out, and I really believe taking the "authority" or more stoic/stern route hides the simple truth of what parents are really feeling.

    Hope things get better for you and your daughter, sounds like she is having many, many problems and maybe meds by themselves really won't get to the bottom of what is really going on.

    Chemical imbalance is a theory but life is pain and thats a fact. Hopefully we can muddle though it. I always liked the line from Princess Bride, he said life is pain and anyone who tells you different is selling something....

    Last edited by Jennita; 07-01-2007 at 12:49 AM.

     
    Old 07-01-2007, 02:33 PM   #15
    liz49
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    Re: My daughter will drive me over the edge....

    Wow--again, wonderful thougts and replies.
    Well, my daughter called her therapist this am for an "emergency" session--oddly, since she has conveninetly "missed" her last 3 or 4. This wonderful woman met with her ASAP and counseled with her and with her Psych doc on the phone and next thing I know I get a call from my daughter (who is very calm, as only a session w/ a good therapist can make you) and she is telling me to bring her a bag of things because her psych doc and therapist have decided she "needs a little break" in the psych ward at the hospital. So, toothbrush, toothpaste, some undies, some pants & shirts, no shoes with laces, nothing with drawstrings, no blowdryer (the cord)--My daughter thinks she's going to club Med. Since her psych doc cheked her in I think it's an involuntary committment--I hope so, I don't want her to be able to walk out before 72 hours has passed and I really want to talk to her pdoc and have a judge deem her necessary to require further treatment. Not necessarily in a hospital setting, but in a halfway house type, or something of that nature where she will get tons of counseling and attention. I spent less than 5 minutes at the hospital--handed her her bag, asked her if I could hug her, she said "go away" and walked into the hall with the orderly. She did tell me to make sure all her friends knew she could get incoming calls. (They took away her cell phone). Somehow, through all this, I am the bad guy.

    Jennita--I appreciate your comments, but I have to say, you are pretty off base. This kid is the last of 5 kids--has been, if anything, spoiled rotten with love, attention & more love & attention. She has always had my listening ear and has had more "mommy time" than all the other kids combined. I was porbably more invoolved with her school activites and functions than any of the other kids'--so being shoinw enough love--I was actually accused of living her too much, so your post made me kind of laugh. Shows you never can win! This is why she often singles ME out when she is manic to pick on and blame for whatever is wrong--oh, well, here's hoping for some progress in the next 72 hours and for finding a treatment facitlity that we can afford.

     
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