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Coping with a Liar... please help.

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Old 11-05-2007, 09:35 AM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 4
Cyndra HB User
Coping with a Liar... please help.

I don't know what to call him, Compulsive or Pathological but in either regard this is a person that's really hurting a lot of people and I need to know if there is anything that could help. Before things escalate any more then they seem to be. I'm sorry this is so long but it's been going on a few months and I've been holding in everything because no one else I know understands it at all.

Distancing ourselves is difficult since the people it's effecting most are co-workers of his. Indirectly it's effecting their families and I guess in that regard it bothers me even more being stuck in this twisted game of his.

He's made some statements that were minor details that either don't add up or we've found the truth out on and I just don't know what to think about the bigger things. He said he lived on the 6th floor to 1 person, the 12th to another... found out it's 1 level. No biggie, but why lie? He says he has a 6 month old daughter and he's a single parent and his girlfriend died in labor. Never have seen a sign he has kids at all... never hear her crying on the phone or making noise period.... never have seen any baby items in the car.

No one's been to his house so that would answer a lot.

He mentioned the daughter when he was supposed to get switched to nights. Yet he goes out partying A LOT. No siblings live close by and his parents are both dead and her family supposedly lives in another state so I'm not sure. If you were just going to hire a nanny like this, why send the baby to daycare during the day?

He's supposedly a millionaire so the cost isn't supposed to be an issue either.

I say supposedly because every time there is something to do with money he is either unreachable on his cell phone (does not have a regular phone) or he puts it off to another meeting or new place to handle things because he doesn't like the deal.

He first was telling us that his lawyer wouldn't let him spend extra money out of his trust. When we googled her, she came up as a very high profile Celebrity divorce lawyer from LA which is on the other side of the country. I have a call in to her to find out once and for all if he ever was a client. Supposedly he just fired her 2 weeks ago. His excuse was that his father hired this lawyer before she got so high profile, so we took it at face value.

Every other time he is questioned on things he just sticks to his guns and keeps scheduling more things. Originally it was real estate for one of the friends (which fell through when he didn't show up at closing), motorcycles for the group (local dealer was about 85k all said and done and he said to just go to Harley, never showed for that day and his phone was off) and now it's been a business that my husband and one of the others were talking about doing on the side out of the house until they got off the ground.

But this guy comes along and starts saying, Hey we can All do this and I'll give 600k for startup and first year salary. Now they're stuck with a developer ready to close and him bumping it off again and again.

It all started at about the same time though... looking at the real estate and the first bike dealer here.... then more real estate.... one deal fell through and then he supposedly had the money fixed and that weekend Harley was supposed to go and didnt... and the IRS was the problem there and it was fixed and supposedly he's got the money all free and clear now.

We all thought that rationally, why would someone set an appointment with a developer and discuss the floor plan of the building/space and talk to the interior design folks and have every aspect sorted out waiting on the deposit check.... if there really was no money. I guess we were holding to hope in some regard but none of us can understand even looking at things like this and telling other that you're going to commit and you actually aren't going to.

All that brings me here. The other lies are forgettable at this point. It's hard to hold to hope of paying off debts and things being better like was promised and looking at plans that you'd make when a friend says they're giving you a pretty nice bit of cash because you won't let them buy you a house.

I just don't want to see anyone else get hurt more by this. But I don't know what to do and I'm scared that people are going to keep risking money they don't have under the guise that it's coming back tenfold or more when I just don't believe it will. We've had people spending a lot of money in gas running around, taking a day or 2 off work here and there to make other appointments because they're all supposed to start this business and quit.... and make tons more money.... and taking refresher courses for their motorcycle endorsements, and buying new helmets and the like. It does add up.

And for what? A sick game that I can't begin to understand. So I found my way here trying to research what this could be caused by or called. I can only hope someone here has some answers.

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Old 11-18-2007, 07:10 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 480
Nexis HB User
Re: Coping with a Liar... please help.

First please clarify your relationship with this man.

Second, did you sign any kind of legally binding contract with this man financially? If so how much money is involved regarding debt?

Third what exactly is this business operation that you are bound with this man?

We need more information.

Also this man sounds like he has "Anti-Social Personality Disorder" ASP.

Last edited by Nexis; 11-18-2007 at 07:12 AM.

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