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    Old 04-15-2008, 12:24 PM   #1
    alauren81
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    Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    has anyone ever had to live with someone or just be around someone suffering from this? what was it like and how did you handle it?

     
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    Old 04-27-2008, 04:07 AM   #2
    gb1978
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    Re: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    Hi alauren,

    I am a Narcissist myself, having been brought up by two narcissist parents, but i am slowly recovering from the condition and trying to move forward in life.

    It was very difficult living with my parents, arguments were always difficult as my parents were always right, if i said anything they would make it negative, one parent would try to turn against the other parent, were manipulative, they were above god and that they were special or so they believe.

    Of course this is no way to bring up a child, as a result i have suffered socially, and financially. Childeren of Narcisstic parents become Narcisists themselfs due to the lack of child development.

    I moved to another city to get well away from them as i have heard many other people do. But as for how to handle the situation? Its very difficult, and is often never solved, we just have to accept our parents for who they are.

    I have also found myself in many work situations and in public where i have many relatives and seen/worked with many Narcissists. Learning how to deal with manipulative people as well as avoiding them is the best approach. Resigning from the job with Narcissist/s is also something i have done on several occasions as its not helping my condition, as well as ignoring them, and they certainly dont like being ignored.

    Last edited by gb1978; 04-27-2008 at 04:14 AM.

     
    Old 05-06-2008, 09:37 AM   #3
    ergo4
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    Re: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    Yes. I have just realized that my last relationship was doomed to failure because of his of NPD. He's not been diagnosed with it as far as I know but I am quite sure he has it based on the standard criteria.

    He wanted constant attention and doting -- this included me brushing his hair frequently and him trying on clothes and asking repeatedly, "Aren't I cute?". He seemed to not care about my or anybody else's problems. Anytime he had a problem he escalated it to crisis and was furious if I wasn't there to help him (somehow he had decided it was my job to care for him). He took millions upon millions of digital images of himself and even lately got himself a web cam which just shows him sitting at the computer. He was often contrary just for the sake of getting into a fight. He liked to fight and would instigate them quite often. He rarely ever paid for any of our "dates" and owes me quite a lot of money (and seemed to forget about 1/2 of it). If I was at his house, he would want to spend hours upon hours on the computer and would get mad if I went to watch t.v. because he wanted me to sit in a chair, adjacent to him on the computer while he was on the computer. He seemed to totally lack empathy. He was a pathological liar and I believe that he believed in his own lies. He had multiple on-line emotional relationships so that he would have constant attention and adoration. If we were visiting my sister or my friends, he would literally cling to me as if he has hands and arms were Velcro and would snuggle his head into my shoulder and giggle like a school girl and would prefer the he and I sat and had our own internal conversations forsaking the company of other folks who were present. He had frequent mood swings. He said really unkind things to me which I pointed out to him that he was hurtful and he said, "oh, I was just teasing because I like you."

    Somehow I thought that I would "fix him". I entered into this relationship on the heels of a very difficult break-up. I wasn't ready to see anyone and he had just gotten out of a relationship. I have since learned that I am co-dependent and I thought that he was as well but after reading more and more I am pretty sure that it is NPD. Last week he "broke up" with me at least three times. I had been trying to break up with him for some time but he kept luring me back in and I was lonely so I took the bait. I want to distance myself from him but I'm worried that it may just make him seek even more attention from me. I'm trying to "step out" of the relationship rather than end it with an official break up. Yes, I said he broke up with me three times but it was actually him saying, "well I guess I'm not the right guy for you" and making generalizations about me and our relationship and then hanging up. He does not recognize ALL of the things that I have done to improve his life over the course of 5 months. He takes it all for granted and he will escalate the smallest disappointment with me so that he can be right and feel entitled to some kind of reparation.

    I struggle with self-esteem issues and still dealing with a break-up from last summer. For the last several months I have been crying daily and feeling extremely anxious. I gained a lot of weight and stopped exercising or doing anything good for me because he demanded my time. I have not seen him in over two weeks now. I'm feeling more happy and confident than I have since he and I have been going out. I hate to lose him as a friend but he sucks the life out of me. It's sad because when we had good moments those highs were really high. He could be sweet to me and he always made me laugh and we shared so many similar things that made knowing him very easy. It breaks my heart that I cannot fix him. It makes me mad that I wasted all this time with him because he really doesn't mean it when he says "I love you". He figured out that with me, needy me, those three words can get you everywhere.

     
    Old 06-25-2008, 05:55 PM   #4
    sunnyrise
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    Re: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    Hi all,

    I have not posted on the boards in a long time as I was involved with a man for over a year that I believe has NPD but was never diagnosed. Actually, he could have many "labels" and I am tired of trying to figure him out.

    Well, he also sucked my life away because I "allowed" him to. I allowed myself to become his victim and it was all so innocent. I had no idea this guy was this sick and manipulative as well as a chronic liar until much later on when I was deeply in love with him.

    We would break up for 1 month or more at a time and eventually go back together again only to break up again. Yes, a vicious cycle.

    I'm 51 years old and I was alone for 10 years due to a chronic illness so I was very vulnerable. My ex is extremely handsome, charming but anti-social and loved to humilate me and when I would call him on that he would mutter his famous words "I was only kidding". Yeah, right!

    I fought to keep my self-esteem which is one of the reasons we kept breaking up so much. I challenged him when he tried to make me feel bad.

    I guess I could write alot more about him but that takes energy that I don't have right now.

    I just feel relieved that he is not clinging to me right now and that I can breath again and feel like me again. He is also 51 years old yet acts like such a child.

    I am his 3rd serious relationship and his past 2 relationships ended up in divorce. I beleive he is NOT capable of having a "healthy" relationship with any woman because of his hatred and anger toward to his mother which he talked alot about to me.

    I really feel for anyone who is involved with a person that has this disorder or any other personality disorder. I don't know if there is help for my ex or if he would be open to getting help, I believe he is in a constant state of denial.

    Good luck and try to get your lives back, I am trying.
    Sunny

    Last edited by sunnyrise; 06-25-2008 at 05:56 PM.

     
    Old 07-26-2008, 07:31 PM   #5
    Meow4442
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    Re: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    *I wanted to delete, couldn't find out how*

    Last edited by Meow4442; 08-01-2008 at 03:51 PM.

     
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