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  • which personality disorder does my husband Have?

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    Old 08-07-2008, 11:44 AM   #1
    Dixie08
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    which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    I have been married to my husband for 16 yrs and am at my wits end. He has episodes where he goes into a rage, putting holes in walls, kicking dryer, kicking in doors too many to remember and too painful. He is very abusive in car with me and my daughters. Although he has never laid a hand on me. Afterwards he never apologises and acts as if nothing happened. He blames me for everything. I am his 3rd wife. No one would ever believe he acts like this behind closed doors. I have begged him to get help but he tells me that it is not him but everythings my fault. Is this abuse or is it just me?

    Last edited by Dixie08; 08-07-2008 at 11:59 AM. Reason: question

     
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    Old 08-07-2008, 01:18 PM   #2
    Phoenix
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    Re: which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    Hello D,

    With all due respect, there is a Personality Disorder Board on this site.

    They may be able to shed more light on this particular thread.

    Take care.

    Phoenix

    Last edited by Phoenix; 08-07-2008 at 01:20 PM.

     
    Old 08-07-2008, 01:27 PM   #3
    Dixie08
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    Re: which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    I had it on the Personality Disorder board, but it was moved. Not sure I know what I am asking. Maybe it isn't a Disorder, maybe just how men behave.

     
    Old 08-07-2008, 01:38 PM   #4
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    Re: which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    Dixie,

    You wrote:

    I had it on the Personality Disorder board, but it was moved. Not sure I know what I am asking. Maybe it isn't a Disorder, maybe just how men behave.


    I was unaware that it was moved.

    One thing that I can comment on is that he may just be predisposed to angry moments.

    What is it exactly stemming from; it's hard to say.

    The fact that he has been married 3 times makes me wonder if he was blaming his moments of rage on his ex-wive's also, while married to them.

    All men are not the same and it would be unfair to judge us as such.

    Couple's counseling may benefit the two of you.

    If he is unwilling and feels that he has no problem, herein lies a dilemma that you will have to take into serious consideration, if you are to continue being his wife.

    If it's not broke, don't fix it but in the event that it is: make decisions and take action.

    I really hope that his anger doesn't progress into physical abuse.

    Do you really want to risk that?

    Take care.

    Phoenix

    Last edited by Phoenix; 08-07-2008 at 01:47 PM.

     
    Old 08-07-2008, 02:09 PM   #5
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    Re: which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    Pheonix thanks for reply. It is worse than I can explain. I was just thinking maybe if I could figure out what's wrong with him I could try to fix it. Maybe I could act better or something I could do. I know he would never ever go to a Dr. or to counceling. He is 54 and too old fashioned for help. He is convienced that it is me. His rage is just so awful, and when he starts he won't stop. I have no family to turn to so I am looking up a councelor. His family knows he has an anger problem. No matter how perfect I try to make it at home, clean house, wonderful kids, dinner I know I am going to get yelled at. Thanks

     
    Old 08-07-2008, 04:21 PM   #6
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    Re: which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    Hello Dixie,

    Sad to say but there is no way that you can personally fix him.

    Do you feel that you contribute to his anger at times?

    This situation is potentially dangerous for so many reasons.

    If you cannot save him then by all means save yourself.

    Anger, over time festers into resentment of people that the anger is directed towards.

    Please keep this in mind and look out for your own safety.

    Respectfully,

    Phoenix

     
    Old 09-05-2008, 05:59 PM   #7
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    Re: which personality disorder does my husband Have?

    I have son who 19 who a lot of anger issues.. I did try to get him help as long as I could.. It was hard because, like your husband he felt he does know wrong.. My son did tell me. When he gets in those anger fits.. He can't stop.. He can't control it at the time.. I myself when to therapy since he wouldn't go anymore and from I have learned.. It that I has the mother, need to learn the warning signs.. Also that goes for my son too..
    I will tell you.. Before I would so mad that he was acting like that.. and I would start.. which in return pushed his buttons even more.. Its so different now.. I have learned when he gets like that.. To walk away.. not say a word.. and He as reconized the early warming signs and know to walk away.. take deep breaths etc.. What ever works for him....
    I feel so bad for you.. I cannot imagine living the house for all those yrs.. wow you must be one strong person.. But just remember He will never admit he has the problem.. Its always someone else fault.. My son is the same way..
    I am curious.. How does your hubby act in crowds? Does noise bother him? My son get so irritated over everything.. Even as a child he was...
    Some drs have diganosed his as bipolar.. He take meds short term.. It did help some. but the most important was for him learning the warning signs as well as me learning them..
    Michelle

     
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