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tinymom05 02-22-2009 05:52 AM

Something is going on with my child
Not sure if anyone will respond to this but i am worried about my child. He is very sweet to me in front of others but as soon as we are alone he gets angry at me and holds grudges for long periods of time. If someone comes to our house he snaps right out of it and acts like a complete angel. He was diagnosed on the autism spectrum and ADHD but i think there is more to it. He doesnt get as upset if his dad puts him in time-out but when i do it he is in complete meltdown mode. I took him to the doctors with me and he acted so sweet to me in front of the nurse but as soon as she walked out of the room he changed and turned himself around and had this mean look on his face. I dont know what is wrong with him and making himself look like an angel in fornt of others then shows real self to us. Everyone cant believe when i tell them he acts this way to me as if this person doesnt even exist. I want to get him help i lost lots of friendships over this behavior too.

tinymom05 02-22-2009 05:57 AM

Re: Something is going on with my child
I wanted to add too he has to be the center of attention and wont let anyone talk, if i say hi to someone he acts all hyperactive and has to say hi a million times. He wont let his siblings talk to others and one of his other siblings isnt verbal and needs to work on their speech but he he to be right in front with all attention on him. If he doesnt get this attention he throws a big tantrum and ends up with attention one way or another.

light the world 02-22-2009 09:33 AM

Re: Something is going on with my child
I don't know what it could be but have you sen a psychiatrist about this. Thaty is what I would do.

tinymom05 02-23-2009 09:57 AM

Re: Something is going on with my child
We havent seen a psychiatrist yet i do get him therapy in the home but the therapy doesnt work on the way he is with his moods and of course he doesnt show anything but happiness around these therapists. I tried talking to the agency about him seeing a psychiatrist but they just blow me off, i am trying to get him to see someone though.

letarae72 03-05-2009 09:58 AM

Re: Something is going on with my child
I know exactly what your saying! My almost 8yr old son is the same way! He was diagnosed with.. adhd, ocd, odd,spd, and very low on the autism spectrum.
He is an angel for his dad and step-mom, and out in public (if people are around that is) but as soon as it is just me and him or me and all 3 kids he lets loose.
He is a little devil and so mean to me and his little brother. As soon as my husband gets home it's a whole new ballgame. He hits, kicks, throws things yells, screams, cries, you name it he does it.
I have talked to his psychiatrist and all she does is change his meds or ups his dose, it doesn't work though. It is some kind of behavioral issue that has to do with me for some reason.
I am at a loss, and have even thought of giving custody to his dad since i can't handle it anymore!!

cathy57 04-15-2009 09:34 PM

Re: Something is going on with my child
Has anyone tried doing an IgG test on these type of kids, often there is a food allergy involved that affects the brain, milk is often the problem, so is gluten.... any naturopath can do this, there are afew labs in the U.S. that will do it...cathy

MissMuse 05-11-2009 11:31 AM

Re: Something is going on with my child
Hi Tinymom :)

I just read your post regarding your son's behavior, and my jaw just hit the floor because I behaved similarly when I was a little girl. I thought that I would share the reasons for my behavior so that you might gain some insight about your son, and be able to better help him.

When I was very little (starting when I was three and four years old), I began experiencing anxiety in relation to how I appeared to others in my extended family. I was very aware of the social expectations of certain family members. When I started going to childcare at a very young age, I was also aware of how to behave. So, I behaved like a little angel in front of them--and many times it was genuine--but I felt like I could be myself in front of my immediate family like my mom and brother. This meant, like most little kids will do, I threw tantrums when I didn't get my way, etc. I think some of the anger that I felt was a result of being frustrated because I felt like I couldn't be myself in front of others, so I released this anger with people who I knew would accept me unconditionally (although, I did get spanked some times).

I had OCD behaviors starting at a very young age, as well. I remember having to count a certain number of sheets of toilet paper, having to "balance" myself by touching things with the same finger on both hands, etc. It was sooo frustrating to me, as I didn't see any of my friends do this, though I worked to hide it even at that age anyway. I also had perfectionistic tendencies starting when I was in preschool--for example, I had to paste and repaste the little letter boxes onto a page so that they fit perfectly into the traced box shape--it was a mess sometimes *LOL*. I also erased holes in my paper when I first started to write.

One thing to remember is that many people with these tendencies are very bright, they are just more sensitive to situations and things than other people might be. I was told often that I was very sensitive. I loved my friends and family, but I had all this anxiety that frustrated me and made me a bit angrier at times because I wanted to have more fun and be more myself with my friends.

At 29 years old, I still struggle with OCD tendencies and anxiety. I have learned, through therapy and my own self-help ventures, how to cope more successfully with these feelings. I also take 20mg of Lexapro daily to help with any chemical imbalance in my brain. I caution using medications in a young child, though, because his brain is still developing, and the meds could have serious side effects and reprucussions later on. I also believe that learning coping skills is more beneficial in the long-run.

I hope this helps you to manage your son's behavior more effectively :). If you have any questions at all, please feel free to ask :).

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