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Advice needed: having an mentally/emotionally unstable boyfriend

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Old 09-07-2010, 12:13 PM   #1
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elletothemoon HB User
Advice needed:breaking up with mentally/emotionally unstable boyfriend

Hi everyone, new to these boards. My boyfriend is a wonderful man, but has some issues with anger and depression. We've been together for eight months and have had great times, but he's gone through some serious lows.

I graduated college in the spring and we spent the summer together, but when I told him I had to move home (3 hours away) to make some money, he lost it and had one of his lowest lows yet -- a screaming and crying fit more suited for an unruly 4-year-old than a 30-year-old professional.

I'm worried he may be undiagnosed bipolar. I have family members suffering from this disorder and recognize many symptoms. He's been to a number of psychiatrists and doctors but nothing seems to work. I'm wondering how I can take myself out of the equation, since I seem to only exacerbate his moods, and let him get to a solid place. He has never been violent towards me, but I'm afraid he may be harmful to himself if pressed. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Last edited by elletothemoon; 09-07-2010 at 04:46 PM.

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Old 09-08-2010, 07:16 AM   #2
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Re: Advice needed: having an mentally/emotionally unstable boyfriend

Since you're leaving, go home and then tell him it's best if you both see other people, take a break, get some space, whatever. I don't know, I've had experience with dealing with people with mental illness and I'm at a stage of my life now where I want normal and I just couldn't have anything to do with anymore of that. It just crushes your quality of life. It may sound selfish or unfeeling of me, but I'm just tapped out. I would end it as safely for myself as I could. I just wouldn't have the patience for that. Notify his friends, if he has any, and let them know he may try to hurt himself, but he's not your responsibility.

Old 05-23-2011, 05:54 PM   #3
Join Date: May 2011
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Re: Advice needed:breaking up with mentally/emotionally unstable boyfriend

I think I could have written this post all most word for word. I am going through a very similar situation... have been dating for 8 months and my bf needs help with serious depression but refuses to get help bc he says nothing has worked in the past (he has tried meds and seen psychologists). He says being in a relationship is harder than being alone and I am also contemplating whether he would be better off without me... mentally. Sorry not much advice... just know you aren't alone

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