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    Old 10-01-2010, 10:48 AM   #1
    Irisheyez82
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    Does he have a mood disorder?

    Hello,
    I just broke up with my bf a couple weeks ago for many justified reasons. We had been together for a year and 1/2. Th last 6 month of it has been a roller coaster, for us and for my emotions and anxiety from it all.
    He proposed to me on Christmas.....when he didn't have a job and had to get help from his brother an sis in law to pay for the ring. I told him I wasn't ready to say yes. NExt step for me would be moving in. Well a month later he got drunk and decided to drive to walmart and try to steal something....me and his friend bailed him out the next day (I wanted the story and it was a day before his birthday). He has always been a fairly heavy drinker and tries to tell me that given his height and weight he can drink 8 beers an hour and still be able to drive...yeah right.
    He knows his "limit" until he reaches it. So ever since then, we took a short break because I was enraged that he was that idiotic. He is actually very intellegent. But since then it started to be like he was start a fight every other week about how I never cared about what he wanted to do and he always did things with me wether he wanted to or not. I would have liked to go to his bro's house that night but it was 9pm and it was raining and it was a 45 min drive. I wasn't comfortable driving alone like that because he was already at his brothers. SO he got angry. Then the arguments started to come up once a week about how he never felt wanted and I never showed that i loved him (physically I guess), we were intimate at least twice a week most the time and that wasn't enough for him. He just started arguments over the same things all the time, meanwhile he had a good ft job next door to him. After his drunken incedent he decided he wouldn't get drunk anymore. That slowly changed and on Cinco de mayo he got drunk went home probably 2 am ish and got fired the next day for waking up late. Jobless agian. Luckly his landlord is a really nice guy. Anytime I mention something I'm angry about, say his arguements on how we NEVER have sex and about is lack of controlling his drinking, lack of ability to say no to a drink, he says "I don't want to argue baby". No of course not when YOU didn't start the argument!
    So now he moved to LA to follow his dreams, I have supported him, he was hoping I would still move out there with him but he has made it clear he can barely take care of himself and I can't take care of both of us in LA. So for the month before actually really moving he could have organized his stuff he wanted to keep and pack up some things and get them moved. Did he though? NOPE! He left it all up to me even when I asked him a couple of times when he was going to start that process. He did nothing. SO in dealing with it it threw me over the edge. SO one night I was messing with cleaning up and I called him to talk about why I was angry and everything just came out. And told him he took advantage of me and he said he never meant to leave it all for me.....I'm the only one with a key! So I broke it off with him due to he caused the majority of my stress and I couldn't handle it all anymore.
    The next day after texing me one minute angry stuff then texing me he hopes I have a good life and he means it back to "why don't you tell ** your single so you can let everyone know you got rid of me?" back to he was deeply sorry for everyting. Then the next day he confronted me that he got drunk that night and slept with someone, but he didn't want to hurt me but in all fairness I left him first. And he kept throwing that in my face.
    Now somehow he got deleted on my face book (which I did not do) but he sent me texts saying I told you i'd give you space you didn't have to take me out of your life!, and saying I guess we are no longer "firends" then appoligizes a minute later saying it must have been an accident he did.
    I'm so sick of it, and I really wonder if he has some sort of mood disorder. I went to a councelor and she mentioned it sounded like he may be bipolar.
    It's just on going, even after I break it off. He says he is deeply sorry for his mistake and he was devistated and weak when he slept with her. Bull, that was the anger part, he wanted to spite me.
    Please, opinions anyone? I know it's a long post, believe me it could be longer. I even told him I realized the only time I ever really need to take a klonopin is when he starts arguments with me.
    I'm trying to keep stress out of my life, I have Graves (auto immune disorder) and I have read it's not good to be under alot of stress....which is all I have dealt with the last 9 months! I don't want to cut him out, I know he loves me. He thinks that if he becomes responsible and stuff he will prove to me he can be better. But just like his drinking.....it's going to start going downhill eventually. I want him to focus on him, his dreams, his wanted career, and I need to focus on me! And I'm not putting my life on hold. I don't see myself marrying him. I would not be comfortable moving out there with him.
    Any opinions is appriciated! Thank you so much

     
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    Old 10-01-2010, 12:42 PM   #2
    rosequartz
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    my opinion is move on with your life without this loser in it!
    you don't need all this drama, and it won't get any better.
    good for you for not accepting the engagement and telling him you're not ready to say yes!

     
    Old 10-01-2010, 02:42 PM   #3
    Irisheyez82
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    I know he loves me, he has backed off alittle in the whole still sending me sweet texts and stuff. I told him that when I make up my mind I have made up my mind until it changes or if it even does. And it can be easy to push me away like that. But he still texts me and then in the end says "ok, going back into the background now" We were friends before hand, not great friends but I don't want him out of my life completely. I just want him to grow up, whether or not we EVER get back together. I can't see a life with him, not the kind of life I want. He wants to be rich and famous with a house in L.A. I want to have the simple life, here in the midwest around my family and friends. Raising my kids near my friends kids. He acts like that can happen. But if he does make it out there then it wont happen that way and if he doesn't make it.....well he has no real back up plan.
    I just need to work on me and I need space. I'm going to go to school around this area instead of in L.A. The money I have saved is better spent that way rather than spending $1000 just to move out to Cali. And if he does get on his feet, it's going to be just like his drinking and he will start falling back into the same routine.
    Thank you for your insight =-)

     
    Old 10-01-2010, 03:01 PM   #4
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    It sounds like you have already figured it out and you just needed someone to vent to. It does sound like he has some serious problems. His drinking could make him moody and changing faces all the time but so could bipolar. It is hard to say what his real problem is at this point. He sounds kind of immature also. You have, as far as I can see, already made the decision and it is ok. Sincerely, searchin

     
    Old 10-01-2010, 04:06 PM   #5
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    How does he plan to get rich and famous?

     
    Old 10-01-2010, 05:40 PM   #6
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    i think you shouldnt be focusing on him at all. just you. you have had enough misery. one life, live it in happiness not stress. imagine when your an old lady and cant get around as much all the memorys will be just a stressful life with him. he sounds immature and playing childish games. yeah he definately needs to grow up. be selfish now. put yourself first. dont listen to his rubbish and nicey nicey its all fake. real love and care would show but it clearly doesnt. just tell him you dont want to discuss anything to do with anything relationship wise. say you will be friends and that you 2 can talk like friends and thats it. personally if it was me i would cut him out completely as hes just bringing you down and him sleeping with someone shows hes gone out of his way to hurt you. wheres the respect for you? he doesnt have any. men like that are low lifes up end up on there own.

     
    Old 10-04-2010, 09:12 AM   #7
    Irisheyez82
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    Oh boy, now he claims that he lied when he said he got drunk and slept with someone. He says he doesn't know why he said it, maybe because he wanted me to feel that other women wanted him too. So I basically told him, if that's the case he lied when he told me he wanted to be honest with me by telling me he slept with someone. He said it to hurt me because he was angry. And I basically told him he is an actor and he just proved to be a damn good one.
    Yet after telling him the next day after more appologies while online that I didn't have any good words so I chose not to speak, I still ended up consoling him because he laid down the "poor me, I screwed everything I ever cared about in my life up" stuff, but he worried me with some things he said. He knows how bad the ruined things. He said he hoped that in being honest with me about his lie that I would see that he couldn't be with anyone but me and didn't want to and didn't know why he kept the "lie" up so long. I just told him I didn't know what to believe, trust is gone.
    He has backed off for the last couple days, just texting me things like he met his favorite comedian and then going "ok, later". Lol.
    I honestly wish him the best, but it's not going to be with me. I really do wonder if he has something in that brain of his that needs to be "rewired".

     
    Old 10-04-2010, 09:51 AM   #8
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    have you ended the relationship for good?

     
    Old 10-04-2010, 11:28 AM   #9
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    Re: Does he have a mood disorder?

    Oh Gosh, this sounds like one of those things where you think that you can remain friends with your ex. I learned the hard way that it just isn't possible especially when there has been so much water under the bridge. If I were you, as hard as it might be, I would completely cut him loose with no more communication.

     
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