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Need some advice

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Old 02-07-2011, 04:59 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2011
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polishmodel HB User
Exclamation Need some advice

Hello everyone,
I have a problem with my dad and I need an opinion on these things. It started when I greeted my dad and gave him a dad, daughter kiss and my dad uts his tongue in my mouth! It happened twice and I told him that I do not play like that. I am 25 yrs old and his 54 BTW. All he did is giggle stupidly. Then yesterday my mom goes up the stairs in the morning and caught him masturbating with our family dog. I don't know what to think out it but that he is very very sick. My mom threw a towel on him and he got scared and tld her not to tell me, but my mom did anyway with a promise I won't say anything. What the hell should I do or think??
thank you

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Old 02-08-2011, 10:37 PM   #2
mystic heart
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Re: Need some advice

It sounds like your dad might be a sexual addict. Often people who have that like to 'up the anty' because it gives them a bigger 'high'. Both situations must make you feel confused and disgusted. It's really good you told him you didn't like his actions with you. And, it sounds like his response of giggling might have been out of character for him? Perhaps substance abuse needs to be ruled out here. Good luck, it sounds like a tough situation. Really, your mom needs to respond more directly though - just throwing a towel over the situation isn't enough. She needs to confront him and tell him he needs to seek help. There are many therapists who deal with sexual addiction nowadays.

Old 02-28-2011, 03:41 AM   #3
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Re: Need some advice

I think your dad has a problem in sexual issues. it's not normal for an age like him on masturbating your family dog, and kissed you like's really awkward right? i think he is an addict. ask your mom to talk to your dad to seek a counseling or consult a professional help.

Old 02-28-2011, 02:57 PM   #4
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Re: Need some advice

Hi Polishmodel,

I would have your Dad set up for a mental health evaluation. What he is doing has me wondering what other issues he may have. You didn't mention it, but has this begun recently or did your Dad shows signs of this earlier? New medications can cause different reactions (or impulses), and I would definitely look into all these area(s) which could play a part in this as well.

I hope you are able to get some answers.

Old 02-28-2011, 05:08 PM   #5
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Re: Need some advice

Just my opinion - I wouldn't automatically jump to sexual disorders to sex addiction. The reason is because you are telling us that he is 54 years old and based on your post, you seemed to be surprised by this behavior, which would indicate that this is relatively new. It would be VERY unusual for someone to be a sexual addict or have some other type of paraphilia and the family would not have seen any evidence of this before he was 54 years old. If you dad is only showing these behaviors now at 54, something has to have happened recently for this to change. It would be unlikely that someone would develop this at this point in life and never have shown unusual behavior like this before. This is just how mental illness works. Most people do not live a normal life with normal mental health and then suddenly at 54 develop a severe mental illness like a parapilia disorder. Behaviors like these in an adult take a lifetime to develop. Now, if there is some history that you have not yet shared, that might change my opinion, but at this time I would not look first to a sexual addiction.

SO, that leads us to look to see if there could be some other explanations. Sometimes when people begin to have cognitive decline or dementia, they start to loose the ability to understand that these things are not socially appropriate. If you look at people who have had brain injuries in specific parts of their brain, they occasionally show this total lack of filter about social appropriateness - sometimes with sexual issues. My first suspicion would actually be that your dad has had a stroke (or a series of small strokes) or has some other type of progressing dementia or other brain disease.

If it were me, I would get my dad to a hospital or doctor ASAP and get him scheduled for a neurological assessment and a brain scan, hopefully a CAT scan and an MRI. If you live hear a large teaching hospital (such as one associated with a university).

Hope this helps

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